The first faint caress of cloth on Evan's skin sent an exhilarated shiver across his torso, pride and dare he say giddiness fluttering together in his chest. He opened his eyes with a boyishly excited expression; seemed cockiness had in fact gotten lost in the sheer thrill of success.
But, the goddess looked disinterested--maybe even displeased?--and made a quip about whether he couldn't have come up with something more interesting, and his heart sank into his stomach, briefly making him feel sick. Thankfully, a smile broke across her face, and relief washed through Evan's body, though a brief flash of anger very nearly tempted him to at the very least give her a solid slug on the arm. He refrained, though, embarrassment about his response providing friction to it, and uneasiness reverberating in him about whether things might still be unsure between them. Yes, they'd managed to do something breathtakingly extraordinary together tonight, but they'd also very nearly fucked everything up at least twice now. Besides, with certain memories still lingering closer to the surface of his awareness than they'd been in a fucking decade, he was well aware that it wasn't really the goddess that anger was directed at.
She distracted him easily enough, and he let her, watching with a subtle awe as she spun up her own new outfit. The layers of sheer brocade that formed her pants made fascinating patterns up her legs, accentuating her figure with a high waist. A billowing shirt formed over her breasts and down her arms, and Evan felt equal parts disappointed that her skin was so covered and delighted by the idea of how easily he could likely slip a breast out of that shirt, given the opportunity.
He kept his own expression disinterested, though, at the very least feeling it necessary to reply with a move in the game the goddess had set up. He gave a nonchalant shrug when she lifted her eyebrow to him, and might have followed up with a comment about her outfit being alright, but she turned around and made her own comment before he'd formulated the words.
"After going to all that trouble to replenish me..."
Surprise flashed across Evan's expression, and a subtle wave of sheepishness followed as he grasped what she likely meant. So, it had been the goddess' magic he'd used, even though they weren't merged? Should he not have done that? But, no, he reminded himself of how she had smiled after pulling his leg, and he allowed himself a soft smile again, hoping to ease into a bit of their more usual banter.
"I'd say I more than earned some dry clothes," he said casually as he watched her pick up an amulet, which he realized was the object he'd seen her drop on Raccoon's chest in the stone circle before. Evan decided to lean into curiosity about it, his eyes narrowing just slightly with the earnestness of his inquiry.
"What exactly were you doing with Raccoon earlier?"
Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Moderator: On Dreams And Desire
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Truthfully, dry clothes were the least of what he had earned throughout this encounter. The goddess' lips twisted into a half-smile she tried to keep to herself but failed. She couldn't deny that she was happy. It really had been such a long time since she felt this full, and after the tumultuous first three nights with Evan, she hadn't been entirely sure that they could get here. But now that they were...
What exactly were you doing with Raccoon earlier?
A dense flood of memories returned to Dehaljadrun after she had set them aside for what she needed from Evan--the experience of the amulet, the confusion that only one volunteer had arrived, the painful jealousy of knowing that Yukiko--a former lover of Evan's--was the one guarding Ponderance. Nausea began to rise from her stomach, and her face fell immediately. Gone was the giddiness of what the two of them had just experienced as she remembered what she had seen of the underside of her own realm. It had been sickly and disgusting enough that she had barely recognized it. The goddess closed her eyes as she felt tears welling up again. She wanted this nightmare to be over. She wanted to flood her realm with magic, but instead she had been confined to this trickle.
It wasn't enough.
But, if all went well, after tomorrow night, Evan would go to release her. Assuming, of course, that the bindings actually were in the Underworld. Fuck, how in the hell was she supposed to make a decision about that? And how to tell Evan about her uncertainty?
It was too much. The goddess collapsed into seated position with her legs underneath her on the floor, grasping at the tile there as though she could pry it up with her fingers. And maybe she could if she wanted to. Her shoulders quaked with held-back sobs. But... she was full of magic now. Was there not anything she could do for her realm?
Taking a deep breath and doing her best to forget for a moment that Evan was watching, the goddess pressed her hands more gently onto the floor and gave some of the fullness she felt directly to the land. It was perhaps less effective than it would have been if she had shared her magic with the tree, but it would do for now. She imagined the caverns beneath crawling again with glow worms that tended to and broke down the soil. She accelerated the process of decomposition such that the soil immediately below them became fertile again. She encouraged some of the wildlife to return to their burrows. Surely with more volunteers coming tomorrow, she could promise them a stable home once more?
That done, the goddess felt weak. Not as weak and hungry as before Evan had arrived, but the expenditure weighed on her, and she felt hollow. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked back at Evan, tears staining her cheeks.
For a moment, she pleaded desperately with her eyes before she remembered Evan's question and turned her gaze toward the floor. She said, whispering, "Samael's magic... it's polluted. It... reflects all the worst of one's own traits. I saw..." The goddess suddenly grew angry and looked off to one side, interrupting herself. This wasn't answering Evan's question. Softening, the goddess looked down at her hands and continued. "I filtered Samael's magic through Raccoon. It's... difficult to explain." The goddess shook her head. Words made this difficult. She wanted to send images and sensations directly to Evan's mind, but she didn't want him to see what she had done to her own realm, and he would almost certainly catch a glance of it.
Instead, she fumbled again with a huffing sigh, "The soldier's curiosity... it's... pure. They realized they could use the lightning bands to give me what I needed. They incidentally created some kind of feedback loop, and... it worked. They thought, in doing that, they could make everything up to you." Looking at Evan, she added, "I realize you didn't intend for the soldier to come with you."
But, looking at Evan and remembering how she felt after Raccoon left, the goddess couldn't help but think again about Yukiko, and the goddess tumbled into Yukiko's memories: one where Yukiko had been underneath Evan, his gaze ferocious and hungry, and one where Evan was actively worshipping Yukiko, his lips kissing gently up one of her inner thighs. Both images cut swaths of pain through the goddess' chest. Things might be over between Yukiko and Evan on the surface, but Dehaljadrun knew that, if she went looking, she would find residue of Evan's remaining love for the woman.
It was absurd to feel so territorial over the man--on some level the goddess knew that--and it was even more pathetic to feel threatened by a human woman, but... the goddess felt raw and exposed and open, and she couldn't help the emotions she felt.
The goddess wanted to claim Evan again, to draw more energy from him, but it felt tainted between them just now. How could she trust that he wouldn't just turn away from her when all was said and done?
But what was Evan asking about Raccoon for if he wasn't also jealous that someone other than him gave the goddess something she desperately needed?
Looking down again, the goddess said, "I've killed before. The king... he... played games with me. Starved me for months and... I didn't... I didn't want to risk that with you... in the pools. I can't afford..." The goddess shook her head. She should stop talking--she knew she should stop talking--but she was coming apart at her seams, and everything was spilling out.
All at once, the goddess slammed both her fists on the ground and yelled, "I don't want you to leave me!" and the walls shook with her outburst. Even the ground seemed to shift somewhat below them. Whispering then, with tears streaming now, the goddess said, "I don't want you to leave me," and gathered her arms around herself for a moment before putting her head in her hands.
((OOC: It didn't feel relevant to include it in her post directly, but Dehaljadrun wants it known that her breasts look very tantalizing while she's on the floor.))
What exactly were you doing with Raccoon earlier?
A dense flood of memories returned to Dehaljadrun after she had set them aside for what she needed from Evan--the experience of the amulet, the confusion that only one volunteer had arrived, the painful jealousy of knowing that Yukiko--a former lover of Evan's--was the one guarding Ponderance. Nausea began to rise from her stomach, and her face fell immediately. Gone was the giddiness of what the two of them had just experienced as she remembered what she had seen of the underside of her own realm. It had been sickly and disgusting enough that she had barely recognized it. The goddess closed her eyes as she felt tears welling up again. She wanted this nightmare to be over. She wanted to flood her realm with magic, but instead she had been confined to this trickle.
It wasn't enough.
But, if all went well, after tomorrow night, Evan would go to release her. Assuming, of course, that the bindings actually were in the Underworld. Fuck, how in the hell was she supposed to make a decision about that? And how to tell Evan about her uncertainty?
It was too much. The goddess collapsed into seated position with her legs underneath her on the floor, grasping at the tile there as though she could pry it up with her fingers. And maybe she could if she wanted to. Her shoulders quaked with held-back sobs. But... she was full of magic now. Was there not anything she could do for her realm?
Taking a deep breath and doing her best to forget for a moment that Evan was watching, the goddess pressed her hands more gently onto the floor and gave some of the fullness she felt directly to the land. It was perhaps less effective than it would have been if she had shared her magic with the tree, but it would do for now. She imagined the caverns beneath crawling again with glow worms that tended to and broke down the soil. She accelerated the process of decomposition such that the soil immediately below them became fertile again. She encouraged some of the wildlife to return to their burrows. Surely with more volunteers coming tomorrow, she could promise them a stable home once more?
That done, the goddess felt weak. Not as weak and hungry as before Evan had arrived, but the expenditure weighed on her, and she felt hollow. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked back at Evan, tears staining her cheeks.
For a moment, she pleaded desperately with her eyes before she remembered Evan's question and turned her gaze toward the floor. She said, whispering, "Samael's magic... it's polluted. It... reflects all the worst of one's own traits. I saw..." The goddess suddenly grew angry and looked off to one side, interrupting herself. This wasn't answering Evan's question. Softening, the goddess looked down at her hands and continued. "I filtered Samael's magic through Raccoon. It's... difficult to explain." The goddess shook her head. Words made this difficult. She wanted to send images and sensations directly to Evan's mind, but she didn't want him to see what she had done to her own realm, and he would almost certainly catch a glance of it.
Instead, she fumbled again with a huffing sigh, "The soldier's curiosity... it's... pure. They realized they could use the lightning bands to give me what I needed. They incidentally created some kind of feedback loop, and... it worked. They thought, in doing that, they could make everything up to you." Looking at Evan, she added, "I realize you didn't intend for the soldier to come with you."
But, looking at Evan and remembering how she felt after Raccoon left, the goddess couldn't help but think again about Yukiko, and the goddess tumbled into Yukiko's memories: one where Yukiko had been underneath Evan, his gaze ferocious and hungry, and one where Evan was actively worshipping Yukiko, his lips kissing gently up one of her inner thighs. Both images cut swaths of pain through the goddess' chest. Things might be over between Yukiko and Evan on the surface, but Dehaljadrun knew that, if she went looking, she would find residue of Evan's remaining love for the woman.
It was absurd to feel so territorial over the man--on some level the goddess knew that--and it was even more pathetic to feel threatened by a human woman, but... the goddess felt raw and exposed and open, and she couldn't help the emotions she felt.
The goddess wanted to claim Evan again, to draw more energy from him, but it felt tainted between them just now. How could she trust that he wouldn't just turn away from her when all was said and done?
But what was Evan asking about Raccoon for if he wasn't also jealous that someone other than him gave the goddess something she desperately needed?
Looking down again, the goddess said, "I've killed before. The king... he... played games with me. Starved me for months and... I didn't... I didn't want to risk that with you... in the pools. I can't afford..." The goddess shook her head. She should stop talking--she knew she should stop talking--but she was coming apart at her seams, and everything was spilling out.
All at once, the goddess slammed both her fists on the ground and yelled, "I don't want you to leave me!" and the walls shook with her outburst. Even the ground seemed to shift somewhat below them. Whispering then, with tears streaming now, the goddess said, "I don't want you to leave me," and gathered her arms around herself for a moment before putting her head in her hands.
((OOC: It didn't feel relevant to include it in her post directly, but Dehaljadrun wants it known that her breasts look very tantalizing while she's on the floor.))
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Evan's stomach dropped to the floor when the goddess did, his body stiffening with concern and an awfully nebulous sort of guilt. Had it been wrong to ask about Raccoon? The goddess practically clawed at the tile, and Evan's gut twisted, a brief swirl of vertigo encircling him before dissipating. They'd just been so fucking happy, and already were back to this?
Evan swallowed and watched somberly as the goddess calmed and pressed her hands to the floor. It looked like she was probably focusing on something, so he kept still and quiet. Finally, the goddess looked up to him, and he furrowed his brow with apology, still not understanding what had gone wrong. As soon as she started speaking, though, a fresh wave of sickness settled in his stomach.
"Samael's magic... it's polluted."
Right. That amulet wasn't just what the goddess had set on Raccoon earlier; it was also the amulet she had presented to Samael the night before. Evan felt stupid for not recognizing it, but to be fair, he'd been pretty distracted by other things at the time, Samael himself chief among them. Evan couldn't quite stop himself from placing a hand over his stomach, though he returned it to his side as soon as he realized.
"It... reflects all the worst of one's own traits. I saw..."
The goddess trailed off, flashing angry. It tugged at Evan's heart. He simultaneously wanted to hear what she saw, yet also understood her hesitance; he didn't care to imagine what he might have seen of himself, and with the way the crone had described the gods as potent distillations... well, his stomach certainly wasn't settling at the thought.
"I filtered Samael's magic through Raccoon," the goddess continued after a moment. "It's... difficult to explain. The soldier's curiosity... it's... pure."
That tugged up a light smile from Evan's lips. He hadn't ever thought to describe Raccoon as pure before, but the truth of it rang clearly in this context.
"They realized they could use the lightning bands to give me what I needed. They incidentally created some kind of feedback loop, and... it worked. They thought, in doing that, they could make everything up to you." Looking at Evan, she added, "I realize you didn't intend for the soldier to come with you."
Evan felt strangely proud of Raccoon. He supposed it was a good sign that despite their quirkiness, for lack of a better word, they might genuinely belong here, too. He felt simultaneously sheepish and relieved that the goddess had already gleaned Raccoon's intrusion, but it seemed like she wasn't upset about it, at least not in the grand scheme of things. Evan nodded simply, hopeful that all of that above board could settle together smoothly.
A silence rang longer than was comfortable, though, and Evan swallowed again as he wondered what the goddess was thinking about. He found himself feeling defensive as he waited, but he tried to keep himself loose in spite of it. Overall, the goddess was sharing things with him, and even if it wasn't all comfortable, it did all feel good.
"I've killed before." The goddess finally said, and a pain cut through Evan's chest. He kept himself steady, but his expression did open a bit with a mix of fear and sympathy. "The king... he... played games with me. Starved me for months and..."
There, anger started to rise. Evan granted that it could be said he'd 'played games' with the goddess, but he'd been practically tripping over himself to get back to her the instant he worried she might be alone. To starve her for months? The rage in Evan's stomach quickly started to boil, and he clenched his jaw and his fists at his side. The depths of the king's reckless cruelty only seemed to grow, the more Evan learned about him.
"I didn't..." the goddess continued, "I didn't want to risk that with you... in the pools. I can't afford..."
Evan's heart was starting to race, remembering the moments the goddess had him trapped under the water. The way she'd growled before abruptly flying off, allowing him to breathe. He'd had such mixed feelings about her leaving him, and that was no different now. In some ways it was good to get confirmation that she'd left to protect him and not because he'd done something wrong, but even so, something writhed in his stomach, wishing she didn't have to protect him. He wanted to believe that he could give her everything she needed, no matter how strenuous the trial.
All at once, the goddess slammed both her fists on the ground and yelled, "I don't want you to leave me!" Evan stumbled, the gravity of her words dancing with the rumble of her fists to shake his balance to his core. Before he even realized it, tears were rolling down his cheeks as he blinked at her wide-eyed, deeply moved in his chest but paralyzed with the uncertainty of how he should respond. He was so utterly terrified of doing or saying the wrong thing here.
The goddess echoed her words in a whisper, further twisting the pain in Evan's heart, and finally he swept over to kneel before her, knees bumping hers as he leaned forward to wrap his arms around her and pull her against his chest, praying that she'd not shun the gesture.
"I am yours," he said breathlessly, hastily, before she could push him away, hoping it would soothe her. He couldn't say that he would never leave--as he understood it, he had to leave in the morning, for the very safety of their plan to free her, let alone his commander's trust--but he was hers. And he truly believed that he always would be.
Evan swallowed and watched somberly as the goddess calmed and pressed her hands to the floor. It looked like she was probably focusing on something, so he kept still and quiet. Finally, the goddess looked up to him, and he furrowed his brow with apology, still not understanding what had gone wrong. As soon as she started speaking, though, a fresh wave of sickness settled in his stomach.
"Samael's magic... it's polluted."
Right. That amulet wasn't just what the goddess had set on Raccoon earlier; it was also the amulet she had presented to Samael the night before. Evan felt stupid for not recognizing it, but to be fair, he'd been pretty distracted by other things at the time, Samael himself chief among them. Evan couldn't quite stop himself from placing a hand over his stomach, though he returned it to his side as soon as he realized.
"It... reflects all the worst of one's own traits. I saw..."
The goddess trailed off, flashing angry. It tugged at Evan's heart. He simultaneously wanted to hear what she saw, yet also understood her hesitance; he didn't care to imagine what he might have seen of himself, and with the way the crone had described the gods as potent distillations... well, his stomach certainly wasn't settling at the thought.
"I filtered Samael's magic through Raccoon," the goddess continued after a moment. "It's... difficult to explain. The soldier's curiosity... it's... pure."
That tugged up a light smile from Evan's lips. He hadn't ever thought to describe Raccoon as pure before, but the truth of it rang clearly in this context.
"They realized they could use the lightning bands to give me what I needed. They incidentally created some kind of feedback loop, and... it worked. They thought, in doing that, they could make everything up to you." Looking at Evan, she added, "I realize you didn't intend for the soldier to come with you."
Evan felt strangely proud of Raccoon. He supposed it was a good sign that despite their quirkiness, for lack of a better word, they might genuinely belong here, too. He felt simultaneously sheepish and relieved that the goddess had already gleaned Raccoon's intrusion, but it seemed like she wasn't upset about it, at least not in the grand scheme of things. Evan nodded simply, hopeful that all of that above board could settle together smoothly.
A silence rang longer than was comfortable, though, and Evan swallowed again as he wondered what the goddess was thinking about. He found himself feeling defensive as he waited, but he tried to keep himself loose in spite of it. Overall, the goddess was sharing things with him, and even if it wasn't all comfortable, it did all feel good.
"I've killed before." The goddess finally said, and a pain cut through Evan's chest. He kept himself steady, but his expression did open a bit with a mix of fear and sympathy. "The king... he... played games with me. Starved me for months and..."
There, anger started to rise. Evan granted that it could be said he'd 'played games' with the goddess, but he'd been practically tripping over himself to get back to her the instant he worried she might be alone. To starve her for months? The rage in Evan's stomach quickly started to boil, and he clenched his jaw and his fists at his side. The depths of the king's reckless cruelty only seemed to grow, the more Evan learned about him.
"I didn't..." the goddess continued, "I didn't want to risk that with you... in the pools. I can't afford..."
Evan's heart was starting to race, remembering the moments the goddess had him trapped under the water. The way she'd growled before abruptly flying off, allowing him to breathe. He'd had such mixed feelings about her leaving him, and that was no different now. In some ways it was good to get confirmation that she'd left to protect him and not because he'd done something wrong, but even so, something writhed in his stomach, wishing she didn't have to protect him. He wanted to believe that he could give her everything she needed, no matter how strenuous the trial.
All at once, the goddess slammed both her fists on the ground and yelled, "I don't want you to leave me!" Evan stumbled, the gravity of her words dancing with the rumble of her fists to shake his balance to his core. Before he even realized it, tears were rolling down his cheeks as he blinked at her wide-eyed, deeply moved in his chest but paralyzed with the uncertainty of how he should respond. He was so utterly terrified of doing or saying the wrong thing here.
The goddess echoed her words in a whisper, further twisting the pain in Evan's heart, and finally he swept over to kneel before her, knees bumping hers as he leaned forward to wrap his arms around her and pull her against his chest, praying that she'd not shun the gesture.
"I am yours," he said breathlessly, hastily, before she could push him away, hoping it would soothe her. He couldn't say that he would never leave--as he understood it, he had to leave in the morning, for the very safety of their plan to free her, let alone his commander's trust--but he was hers. And he truly believed that he always would be.
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
As Evan wrapped her in an embrace, the goddess slowly dropped her hands from her face and instead grasped the front of Evan's shirt.
I am yours.
And she did feel it. In his mind, in his skin, he was laid bare to her, and she could feel the truth of it, at least until she started to think of the specifics. He still had his allegiance to the army; he still had to go to the Underworld. But, he did care about her.
Rorrim had been a frustrating and tantalizing blank. He had been shielded and kept all his cards close. Evan was an open book. And, despite having appreciated the mystery Rorrim presented, Dehaljadrun was grateful for the confidence she had in Evan's honesty.
After a moment, she reached around Evan, her fingers dragging across his back, hungry for him all over again. Moving down, she lifted up the back of his shirt and gently pressed her fingertips into his skin, massaging the muscles there and pushing him closer to her in subtle waves. She kissed the side of his neck and his jaw, shifting her knees to get closer, and then she laid her head on his shoulder and stopped moving altogether, doing whatever she could to soak in whatever replenishment Evan could give her. The lavender glow returned to her skin, and she began to feel more of herself again.
Gods, this endless rise and fall of her energy. It was torture.
But, in this moment, maybe it didn't have to be. Maybe this moment could be perfect. Her tears stopped flowing after a few moments, and she did feel better. What did she have to complain about with this man so devoted to her? And she hadn't even destroyed him yet.
Pulling away just enough to look into his eyes, she searched them for something--unsure even of what she wanted to see. She reached up and stroked one side of his face with her hand, the other one comfortably hooked under the back of his pantline.
"I'm grateful it was you who summoned me." She gave a half-smile before dropping her gaze, realizing that she should probably start behaving like a goddess again.
"Any more questions?"
I am yours.
And she did feel it. In his mind, in his skin, he was laid bare to her, and she could feel the truth of it, at least until she started to think of the specifics. He still had his allegiance to the army; he still had to go to the Underworld. But, he did care about her.
Rorrim had been a frustrating and tantalizing blank. He had been shielded and kept all his cards close. Evan was an open book. And, despite having appreciated the mystery Rorrim presented, Dehaljadrun was grateful for the confidence she had in Evan's honesty.
After a moment, she reached around Evan, her fingers dragging across his back, hungry for him all over again. Moving down, she lifted up the back of his shirt and gently pressed her fingertips into his skin, massaging the muscles there and pushing him closer to her in subtle waves. She kissed the side of his neck and his jaw, shifting her knees to get closer, and then she laid her head on his shoulder and stopped moving altogether, doing whatever she could to soak in whatever replenishment Evan could give her. The lavender glow returned to her skin, and she began to feel more of herself again.
Gods, this endless rise and fall of her energy. It was torture.
But, in this moment, maybe it didn't have to be. Maybe this moment could be perfect. Her tears stopped flowing after a few moments, and she did feel better. What did she have to complain about with this man so devoted to her? And she hadn't even destroyed him yet.
Pulling away just enough to look into his eyes, she searched them for something--unsure even of what she wanted to see. She reached up and stroked one side of his face with her hand, the other one comfortably hooked under the back of his pantline.
"I'm grateful it was you who summoned me." She gave a half-smile before dropping her gaze, realizing that she should probably start behaving like a goddess again.
"Any more questions?"
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Relief tugged at Evan's chest as the goddess tugged at his shirt, and he exhaled tellingly. She wasn't immediately pushing him away, and that alone was worth relishing. It was all the more exciting, then, when she reached around him, her fingers running over his back and lifting up his shirt to press against skin, reigniting heat and elation across his lower back and deep into his muscles. He let out a soft gasp, his arms tightening around her shoulders and his own fingers pressing into her back, playing with the line of her shirt. She kissed his neck and his jaw, and he let out a soft hum, his cheek nuzzling subtly into her hair. Then she laid her head against his shoulder, and a profound stillness settled into them. Evan let himself sit back on his ankles, gently coaxing the goddess to lean further against him so he could bring their embrace along with this movement and then settle comfortably in.
After a moment, she pulled back just enough to look at him, and he looked back at her with an open expression, the tears in his eyes betraying both bliss and trepidation--he really, really didn't want to fuck this up. She stroked the side of his face and he let his eyes fall shut with an elated shudder, and let his attention sink down into the warm hand she had tucked into his pants, like she was holding his entire spine afloat in that magical place they had visited.
"I'm grateful it was you who summoned me," she said, sending a shiver rushing up his spine. Gods, he knew he'd fucked up a lot in the course of his dealings with the goddess from the start, but at least he felt confident that he really was the right person for the job. Maybe Kade wouldn't have made certain missteps, but surely he couldn't actually give the goddess everything that Evan could.
"Any more questions?"
Evan couldn't help the scoff of a laugh that erupted from him, though it only lasted a single breath. He smiled, opening his eyes just long enough to take in the goddess' beautiful face before twining his fingers in her hair and leaning forward into a kiss, deep and passionate and overflowing with affection--dare he say, love. Maybe it was absurd to love a goddess, but the crone had advised him to hold nothing back from her tonight, and he might not have been able to anyway; the feeling radiated from his chest, warming his whole body and spilling freely from his lips as they kissed.
After a moment, she pulled back just enough to look at him, and he looked back at her with an open expression, the tears in his eyes betraying both bliss and trepidation--he really, really didn't want to fuck this up. She stroked the side of his face and he let his eyes fall shut with an elated shudder, and let his attention sink down into the warm hand she had tucked into his pants, like she was holding his entire spine afloat in that magical place they had visited.
"I'm grateful it was you who summoned me," she said, sending a shiver rushing up his spine. Gods, he knew he'd fucked up a lot in the course of his dealings with the goddess from the start, but at least he felt confident that he really was the right person for the job. Maybe Kade wouldn't have made certain missteps, but surely he couldn't actually give the goddess everything that Evan could.
"Any more questions?"
Evan couldn't help the scoff of a laugh that erupted from him, though it only lasted a single breath. He smiled, opening his eyes just long enough to take in the goddess' beautiful face before twining his fingers in her hair and leaning forward into a kiss, deep and passionate and overflowing with affection--dare he say, love. Maybe it was absurd to love a goddess, but the crone had advised him to hold nothing back from her tonight, and he might not have been able to anyway; the feeling radiated from his chest, warming his whole body and spilling freely from his lips as they kissed.
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
The goddess' smirk returned when she heard Evan scoff at her--albeit sarcastic--question. But, soon afterward, he smiled, and her breath caught in her chest, resurrecting some of the giddiness they both felt as they had previously entwined. He was happy, genuinely happy, that she had accepted him to go to the Underworld, that she had requested his company, that she wanted him here with her now--and dare she say always.
As though to make that sensation all the more tangible, Evan reached forward to kiss her. It wasn't a kiss of the usual hunger; it was affectionate, playful, coaxing, triumphant, and tender, and the goddess leaned right into it. It was a beautiful golden, caramel color behind her eyes, something she had gotten images of when she had witnessed Evan's memories of being with Xavier, not to mention when she had taken on Xavier's form. But this... it was brighter and fuller, firsthand rather than secondhand, full of purpose and fulfillment, and even, in a lot of ways, fate.
All of this felt right. And beautiful and wonderful and full of life.
The goddess kissed him back, pulling him closer to her. She didn't want this moment to end... or really any moment with him. Gods, could he not just stay with her forever? No, they both had things to do.
With heavy breath and a wide smile, the goddess pulled back, one hand resting on the back of Evan's neck and the other on the small of Evan's back. Collecting herself, though, her smile receded somewhat as she tried to pull some severity back into her expression. Still, that caramel color was still not far away, and her skin glowed ever more pleasantly, washing them both in subtle electric tingles.
She had to look away briefly to talk.
"I had a visitor earlier today. Before the incident with Samael." Her gaze flicked back to Evan. "She was from the Underworld." The goddess took a breath, her nervous system still not completely settled. "She doesn't believe--or at least doesn't want me to believe--that the king's bindings are in the Underworld." She still hated all the alternatives--they made her furious beyond belief--and she didn't have any idea where else the bindings could be if not the Underworld.
And then there was this intuition, a strong irrefutable one, that something awaited her there.
"But...I strongly believe going there is part of the process." The goddess looked at Evan nervously. She realized she was asking him to risk his life on a strong feeling, and she didn't exactly feel comfortable about it either.
As though to make that sensation all the more tangible, Evan reached forward to kiss her. It wasn't a kiss of the usual hunger; it was affectionate, playful, coaxing, triumphant, and tender, and the goddess leaned right into it. It was a beautiful golden, caramel color behind her eyes, something she had gotten images of when she had witnessed Evan's memories of being with Xavier, not to mention when she had taken on Xavier's form. But this... it was brighter and fuller, firsthand rather than secondhand, full of purpose and fulfillment, and even, in a lot of ways, fate.
All of this felt right. And beautiful and wonderful and full of life.
The goddess kissed him back, pulling him closer to her. She didn't want this moment to end... or really any moment with him. Gods, could he not just stay with her forever? No, they both had things to do.
With heavy breath and a wide smile, the goddess pulled back, one hand resting on the back of Evan's neck and the other on the small of Evan's back. Collecting herself, though, her smile receded somewhat as she tried to pull some severity back into her expression. Still, that caramel color was still not far away, and her skin glowed ever more pleasantly, washing them both in subtle electric tingles.
She had to look away briefly to talk.
"I had a visitor earlier today. Before the incident with Samael." Her gaze flicked back to Evan. "She was from the Underworld." The goddess took a breath, her nervous system still not completely settled. "She doesn't believe--or at least doesn't want me to believe--that the king's bindings are in the Underworld." She still hated all the alternatives--they made her furious beyond belief--and she didn't have any idea where else the bindings could be if not the Underworld.
And then there was this intuition, a strong irrefutable one, that something awaited her there.
"But...I strongly believe going there is part of the process." The goddess looked at Evan nervously. She realized she was asking him to risk his life on a strong feeling, and she didn't exactly feel comfortable about it either.
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Evan couldn't help grasping at the goddess as she pulled away, tensing his arms to try to still himself as he buried his forehead against the crook of her neck, unable to abide any distance between them. It was embarrassing and dizzying, this clinginess that erupted from him, but it would have been too much to bear to subdue it, especially given that despite his unease, he didn't truly feel the goddess would scoff at him--not in the ways that mattered. He still felt warmth emanating from her, soft vibrant tingles electrifying his skin. Surely she was just a loathe to pull away; surely she appreciated his desire to stay near her. Gods, he could only hope.
"I had a visitor earlier today. Before the incident with Samael."
Evan exhaled gravely against the goddess' shoulder and slowly pushed himself to sit up, the goddess' words finally giving him the motivation he needed to refocus on business, or something like. His fingers still grasped tightly at her hair and her shoulder, his body still tense with longing, but he looked her in the eye with seriousness, assuring her he was listening.
"She was from the Underworld."
Evan blinked with some surprise, his body growing a little lighter with the distraction of it. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, and perhaps anything she could have possibly said would have been surprising, but now that he had a direction in which to experience intrigue, his mind was starting to spin up questions, though he didn't interrupt the goddess with them just yet.
"She doesn't believe--or at least doesn't want me to believe--that the king's bindings are in the Underworld. But...I strongly believe going there is part of the process."
Evan was quiet for a long moment, his expression curious--if a tad concerned and confused--as he tried to make sense of what the goddess was saying. His stomach felt a bit uneasy as he slowly realized that something about their agreement was shifting again, and a small bubble of panic started rising to his heart. But... while the goddess did look nervous, there was also a certainty in her, he felt strangely sure of that. He was still to be her champion in the Underworld, and she wasn't asking anything else about their agreement to change, at least not yet. He swallowed and carefully forced himself to relax before he replied.
"So... there may be other steps after the Underworld, before you can be free."
He had intended to leave it at that, his voice tilting up only just slightly at the end to let the goddess confirm or correct his understanding, but then another question grew loud enough in his mind to escape to his lips.
"Who was the visitor? Do you think she was trying to help, or...?"
He didn't exactly have a dossier of otherworldly beings to reference, but he hoped his clarifying question would prompt the kind of answer he was really looking for.
"I had a visitor earlier today. Before the incident with Samael."
Evan exhaled gravely against the goddess' shoulder and slowly pushed himself to sit up, the goddess' words finally giving him the motivation he needed to refocus on business, or something like. His fingers still grasped tightly at her hair and her shoulder, his body still tense with longing, but he looked her in the eye with seriousness, assuring her he was listening.
"She was from the Underworld."
Evan blinked with some surprise, his body growing a little lighter with the distraction of it. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, and perhaps anything she could have possibly said would have been surprising, but now that he had a direction in which to experience intrigue, his mind was starting to spin up questions, though he didn't interrupt the goddess with them just yet.
"She doesn't believe--or at least doesn't want me to believe--that the king's bindings are in the Underworld. But...I strongly believe going there is part of the process."
Evan was quiet for a long moment, his expression curious--if a tad concerned and confused--as he tried to make sense of what the goddess was saying. His stomach felt a bit uneasy as he slowly realized that something about their agreement was shifting again, and a small bubble of panic started rising to his heart. But... while the goddess did look nervous, there was also a certainty in her, he felt strangely sure of that. He was still to be her champion in the Underworld, and she wasn't asking anything else about their agreement to change, at least not yet. He swallowed and carefully forced himself to relax before he replied.
"So... there may be other steps after the Underworld, before you can be free."
He had intended to leave it at that, his voice tilting up only just slightly at the end to let the goddess confirm or correct his understanding, but then another question grew loud enough in his mind to escape to his lips.
"Who was the visitor? Do you think she was trying to help, or...?"
He didn't exactly have a dossier of otherworldly beings to reference, but he hoped his clarifying question would prompt the kind of answer he was really looking for.
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Dehaljadrun nodded as Evan talked about the potential for other steps, grateful that he was clinging to her hair and her shoulder. At this moment, she didn't want to be separate from him any more than he did, and the skin contact was doing her a world of good.
She shook her head as Evan asked about who the visitor had been. How to make sense of what the girl was? How to tell Evan that the girl believed Dehaljadrun herself had sent her?
"I don't know. She did lie to me at least once. But, I don't understand what her motive would have been." The goddess shook her head again, enjoying the ways that it caught subtly in Evan's grip. "She passed glimpses of her memories onto me. If I sort through them, I might be able to make sense of what she was trying to tell me." Looking down, the goddess said, "the girl's mind is a mess, though, and sorting through her memories will be painful."
The goddess looked up at Evan and reached one hand to his face again, savoring his warmth. "I'd like you to be there with me when I do it."
She shook her head as Evan asked about who the visitor had been. How to make sense of what the girl was? How to tell Evan that the girl believed Dehaljadrun herself had sent her?
"I don't know. She did lie to me at least once. But, I don't understand what her motive would have been." The goddess shook her head again, enjoying the ways that it caught subtly in Evan's grip. "She passed glimpses of her memories onto me. If I sort through them, I might be able to make sense of what she was trying to tell me." Looking down, the goddess said, "the girl's mind is a mess, though, and sorting through her memories will be painful."
The goddess looked up at Evan and reached one hand to his face again, savoring his warmth. "I'd like you to be there with me when I do it."
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Evan listened quietly as the goddess explained more about the visitor--a girl, apparently. It still felt like something was missing--like, who was she that she could visit the goddess, much less know anything about the king's bindings?--but before he could formulate any follow-up questions, the goddess' hand pressed against his cheek, and all of his attention rushed into that touch. His fingers tightened their grip in her hair, his arms subtly tensing as if to pull her closer to him, while he leaned into her palm, his eyes sliding shut as he relished the contact.
Then, the goddess said that she wanted him there with her when she sorted through the girl's memories, and Evan returned his gaze to her fluidly, responding without missing a beat.
"Of course."
Not that he had any idea what this would entail, but if sorting through those memories was going to be anything like what the goddess endured today, he felt strongly that he would much rather be here for it than not.
Then, the goddess said that she wanted him there with her when she sorted through the girl's memories, and Evan returned his gaze to her fluidly, responding without missing a beat.
"Of course."
Not that he had any idea what this would entail, but if sorting through those memories was going to be anything like what the goddess endured today, he felt strongly that he would much rather be here for it than not.
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Dehaljadrun took a breath, knowing that this experience was not going to be pleasant. For either of them. But, lest she risk giving up her newfound strength, it was the best way to move forward. And, some part of her wanted Evan to share this with her. Sure, she didn't want to have to answer questions about it later, but she also wanted him to know she wasn't hiding anything from him in this. And, she wasn't. She genuinely wanted him to succeed.
Without saying anything further, the goddess removed herself completely from Evan's grip and stood up from the floor, moving over to the lounge again to lie down. Once there, she said, "Come lie beside me and close your eyes." She waited until he was settled to close her own, but once the warmth of his body was pressed up against hers, she enveloped Evan's whole body into her awareness. Having been so recently merged, it was easier than it would have been, and soon they were sharing thoughts. There was, perhaps, more distance and interference than when they were fully merged, but at least she would be able to draw on his strength. And, as a side effect, he would see what she was seeing. She could not afford to expend energy keeping things from him. And, to be honest, she didn't want to.
With another deep breath, the goddess plunged back into her memory of the girl in all her gaudy surrealism--the mismatched sleeves, the white hair, the flickers of the girl's appearance as sections of it flickered in and out of reality--and before too long, the memory of the girl's mind itself. It was grotesquely warped and garish--most of it actual sensations, images, experiences, from the Underworld, but all of it tilted toward the girl's own perspective. Dehaljadrun winced at the intensity of the light behind her eyes and instinctively reached for Evan's hand, but she pressed on. What was it that she had seen that had convinced her that the bindings were elsewhere?
Briefly, the goddess saw flickers of a blonde woman seated at a table, but even the warped sight of her was more than Dehaljadrun could bear, and she turned her inner focus away toward other images in her memories, other things the girl had said.
You've tried this before. We're saving you some time.
Tried what before? Dehaljadrun had never successfully sent someone to the Underworld. And who was "we"? Who was this girl working with? The upper gods? The king himself? But why come to warn her?
Mirrah had been surprised and uncomfortable when Dehaljadrun had put together that the bindings weren't in the Underworld, which lent credit to the idea that the goddess had been correct. But then why this pull to go there? Was that the trick, then?
And if the bindings weren't in the Underworld, then where? She refused to believe that Rorrim had found a way to hide them in the upper realms, but if they were here in her realm--or hell, even in the human realm--she would feel them... wouldn't she?
Then the memory of Rorrim she had only partly remembered earlier came back to mind, briefly shutting out the images from Mirrah.
The two of them, happy, spent, but prepared to demand more of each other as the king rolled the goddess flat on her back.
"And what else are you hiding from me?" The king's voice filled the goddess' mind.
"You have no idea what I'm afraid of," the goddess said with mock seriousness and a smile.
"Tell me," the king demanded softly, "Dehaljadrun, tell me." The goddess shivered, her fingernails digging into his arms at the sudden sound of her name. He grabbed both of her hands the moment he felt the pain and pinned them down to the ground. "Tell me," the king insisted again, quietly.
The air was thick with compulsion, and the goddess looked away momentarily, unwilling or unable to move her wrists from the king's grip. Looking back at him, she said, "myself."
The memory dissolved then--the connection between her and Evan severed--and the goddess sharply inhaled, gripping Evan's hand tighter until she sat up abruptly, clutching at her chest. She brought one hand to her forehead, thinking.
Did the king hide the bindings... inside her?
Mirrah had told the goddess that she was the one who told Mirrah to come. And Mirrah was most certainly a creature of the Underworld. Was there a... a copy... another version of Dehaljadrun in the Underworld?
The goddess looked at Evan, realizing that he had seen... well, all of it. He had abruptly stood after the connection had broken, shaking off the remnants of it, and even when he landed back down on the lounge, he still had his back to her, his forehead in his hands. She almost laughed, then, the corners of her mouth even threatening to raise. It was absurd, but that--between the actual images of the Underworld and a glimpse of her relationship with the king--had been perhaps the best way to prepare Evan for the things he might see in the Underworld, and she hadn't even meant it to be practice.
Dehaljadrun shook her head and looked down.
"It's different... for everyone. The Underworld. That was Mirrah's version of it," the goddess said tentatively as explanation, choosing not to elaborate on the memory with Rorrim, "at least, at first." Evan couldn't have been surprised. He had known they had been together. But, it was one thing to know it and another to see it happen, she supposed.
Without saying anything further, the goddess removed herself completely from Evan's grip and stood up from the floor, moving over to the lounge again to lie down. Once there, she said, "Come lie beside me and close your eyes." She waited until he was settled to close her own, but once the warmth of his body was pressed up against hers, she enveloped Evan's whole body into her awareness. Having been so recently merged, it was easier than it would have been, and soon they were sharing thoughts. There was, perhaps, more distance and interference than when they were fully merged, but at least she would be able to draw on his strength. And, as a side effect, he would see what she was seeing. She could not afford to expend energy keeping things from him. And, to be honest, she didn't want to.
With another deep breath, the goddess plunged back into her memory of the girl in all her gaudy surrealism--the mismatched sleeves, the white hair, the flickers of the girl's appearance as sections of it flickered in and out of reality--and before too long, the memory of the girl's mind itself. It was grotesquely warped and garish--most of it actual sensations, images, experiences, from the Underworld, but all of it tilted toward the girl's own perspective. Dehaljadrun winced at the intensity of the light behind her eyes and instinctively reached for Evan's hand, but she pressed on. What was it that she had seen that had convinced her that the bindings were elsewhere?
Briefly, the goddess saw flickers of a blonde woman seated at a table, but even the warped sight of her was more than Dehaljadrun could bear, and she turned her inner focus away toward other images in her memories, other things the girl had said.
You've tried this before. We're saving you some time.
Tried what before? Dehaljadrun had never successfully sent someone to the Underworld. And who was "we"? Who was this girl working with? The upper gods? The king himself? But why come to warn her?
Mirrah had been surprised and uncomfortable when Dehaljadrun had put together that the bindings weren't in the Underworld, which lent credit to the idea that the goddess had been correct. But then why this pull to go there? Was that the trick, then?
And if the bindings weren't in the Underworld, then where? She refused to believe that Rorrim had found a way to hide them in the upper realms, but if they were here in her realm--or hell, even in the human realm--she would feel them... wouldn't she?
Then the memory of Rorrim she had only partly remembered earlier came back to mind, briefly shutting out the images from Mirrah.
The two of them, happy, spent, but prepared to demand more of each other as the king rolled the goddess flat on her back.
"And what else are you hiding from me?" The king's voice filled the goddess' mind.
"You have no idea what I'm afraid of," the goddess said with mock seriousness and a smile.
"Tell me," the king demanded softly, "Dehaljadrun, tell me." The goddess shivered, her fingernails digging into his arms at the sudden sound of her name. He grabbed both of her hands the moment he felt the pain and pinned them down to the ground. "Tell me," the king insisted again, quietly.
The air was thick with compulsion, and the goddess looked away momentarily, unwilling or unable to move her wrists from the king's grip. Looking back at him, she said, "myself."
The memory dissolved then--the connection between her and Evan severed--and the goddess sharply inhaled, gripping Evan's hand tighter until she sat up abruptly, clutching at her chest. She brought one hand to her forehead, thinking.
Did the king hide the bindings... inside her?
Mirrah had told the goddess that she was the one who told Mirrah to come. And Mirrah was most certainly a creature of the Underworld. Was there a... a copy... another version of Dehaljadrun in the Underworld?
The goddess looked at Evan, realizing that he had seen... well, all of it. He had abruptly stood after the connection had broken, shaking off the remnants of it, and even when he landed back down on the lounge, he still had his back to her, his forehead in his hands. She almost laughed, then, the corners of her mouth even threatening to raise. It was absurd, but that--between the actual images of the Underworld and a glimpse of her relationship with the king--had been perhaps the best way to prepare Evan for the things he might see in the Underworld, and she hadn't even meant it to be practice.
Dehaljadrun shook her head and looked down.
"It's different... for everyone. The Underworld. That was Mirrah's version of it," the goddess said tentatively as explanation, choosing not to elaborate on the memory with Rorrim, "at least, at first." Evan couldn't have been surprised. He had known they had been together. But, it was one thing to know it and another to see it happen, she supposed.