Written Wonderland

Novelty headed toward the woods most directly in front of them, figuring that, of all the places to look for the flowers, getting into a more deeply vegetated area was a good idea. He also suspected that the flowers might grow at higher elevation, and there was a subtly steepening incline back there that Novelty hadn't bothered with much since the army had camped. Since he hadn't seen any of the flowers yet, he thought it was a good a place as any to begin looking.

Keeping his eyes peeled and maintaining a strong sense of their directionality--he might need to find this place again, after all--Novelty walked contentedly, hardly noticing that neither of them had spoken for a moment. When he did notice the silence, he pondered briefly about whether to fill it and determined that Philip was the one who asked if they could keep talking, so surely there was something on the lieutenant's mind. Novelty was content to wait until Philip was ready to offer it. Silence rarely bothered him.

And then, when Philip did speak, butterflies erupted in Novelty's stomach at the thought of the lieutenant sharing a secret. Trying not to appear too eager, the soldier nodded with a smile on his face, hoping it looked welcoming and not hungry. Having done much reconnaissance for Captain Kade, he was well-versed in masking such expressions.

Philip admittedly still felt hesitant when Novelty nodded, worry clenching in his stomach that his question had given Novelty the wrong idea, or at least an incomplete one. But, he wasn't sure how to correct that, and ultimately, the soldier had agreed to walk and talk with Philip, and maybe the lieutenant would just have to trust that. Besides, Novelty seemed to be leading them somewhere with purpose; perhaps he was genuinely enjoying the walk, or at least getting something else out of it, such that it put Philip at ease a little bit, that he wasn't being too much of a burden--at least not yet.

"I haven't told my captain. That I intend to return." Shame splashed through his torso as he said it, anxiety twisting his insides about what Novelty might think. But, he had to tell someone, and he'd be even more ashamed to tell Nathan or Chloe. Unless Chloe's body had carried her to Rutliff's tent the way Philip's had carried him, she almost certainly had talked to Captain Bronwen before showing up. It pained Philip deeply to think about how he'd let Chloe and Nathan and Blake and Mizu and countless others down these past several days.

But, if Novelty would hear his confession, he hoped to at least find more clarity on what to do about it. He knew that hiding in his tent hadn't helped anyone, and he wanted to be done with that. Maybe he'd never go inside that tent again--though, as soon as that thought crossed his mind, he realized, he'd still need to sleep in it tonight. Or, maybe he just wouldn't sleep; he wasn't entirely sure he'd get any tonight regardless.

Pulling himself back into the present with some effort, Philip watched Novelty for any reaction, anxious to know whether the soldier's patience was waning yet.

Novelty's first impulse when Philip told him that he hadn't talked to his captain was to laugh, but he managed to hold in everything but a smile, understanding that, if Philip considered this a confession, it was important to him, and Novelty should respect that. But, still, given that Philip had spent the past few days in a state, it was hard to believe that Captain Bronwen would be genuinely angry or surprised if Philip decided to disappear with the rest of the volunteers. It certainly would be a bigger grievance if Philip hadn't already been with the goddess, but that wasn't Philip's situation.

It did worry Novelty somewhat, though, that Philip had been so blindly prepared to go without telling anyone of his choice. Was he even in control of himself?

Regardless, if they were going to have a public ceremony tomorrow, Captain Bronwen had the right to know ahead of time that her lieutenant would be on display.

Novelty's expression sobered as he gave himself a moment to consider a response. Was Philip asking for advice? No, he just said he needed to confess. All right, then.

"I can't rightly blame you," Novelty began. "Captain Bronwen isn't exactly the friendliest of faces." Novelty offered a small smile then, hopeful that Philip wouldn't mind or would at least understand that Blake wasn't everyone's cup of tea.

Philip wasn't entirely sure what to make of Novelty's smile at first, but he supposed it was preferable to the judgement he'd been braced for. The soldier even went on to say that he didn't blame Philip, and finally quipped about Blake's friendliness, and Philip couldn't help a soft sigh, betraying a glimmer of amusement amidst his relief.

"She tries to hold us to our best," he said gently, wanting to show his captain some genuine respect. "But... yes, she can be... difficult, when I know I'm not my best."

He was quiet for another moment after that, contemplating what else he wanted to say here, or if there was anything he specifically wanted to ask of Novelty.

"I suppose..." he said tentatively, "I wish I had something to offer her, for what I've put her through. For what she's lost." Granted, he doubted Novelty would have much insight there--wasn't Philip in one of the best positions to understand Blake? And yet she was still something of a mystery to him, long before all this business with a goddess neither of them understood.

"Perhaps I should search for two offerings before I go." His voice was serene enough when he said that, his expression calm and taking in the scenery around them. He did feel at peace in this moment, though he wasn't sure how long it would last.

Novelty listened to Philip, content to immerse himself in the lush forest around them. They were very nearly farther than Novelty had explored on his own in this direction, and he was getting more excited by the moment, though he kept his pace even with Philip's. His eyes darted back and forth for any sign of purple flowers, but there was nothing yet.

And, in the meantime, he listened to the pleasant sounds of Philip's voice. The lieutenant really hadn't spoken much, and certainly not this openly, since the two of them had properly met, and Novelty found the lieutenant's meandering tone oddly comforting.

When Philip started talking about preparing two offerings, though, Novelty felt the need to pipe up. "I think it's admirable to want to do something for your captain. The two of you have certainly been through a lot. But, you have been loyal and diligent in your service to both Captain Bronwen and the commander, and I have to imagine that is offering enough. So, maybe talk to her and tell her that you appreciated being held at your best, but... well, other adventures are waiting." Novelty shrugged and grinned at the end of his comment, full of the lightness and excitement he had felt back when Lance and he had been walking toward Evan's tent and was very nearly tempted to physically skip ahead, but he kept his body, at least, in check.

Not even Philip's lingering melancholy was going to bring Novelty's elation down.

Philip was genuinely surprised by Novelty's response, and his pace faltered a moment while he took it in. Novelty made it all sound so easy. And, much to Philip's amazement, he imagined things going that simply with Blake, which he didn't think he could have imagined before. Maybe... maybe it really could be that simple? Philip wasn't sure he was ready to believe it, but... he seemed ready to contemplate it, at least.

For now he wanted to set that aside, though, and tend to the newly-bubbling feeling of duty towards Novelty. He'd done Philip two immense favors already today. Philip was ready enough to believe that they weren't hardships for Novelty--the soldier seemed genuinely light and mirthful, which echoed warmly in Philip's chest--but he still wanted to ensure that he wasn't taking this for granted. He watched the soldier with fresh eyes and curiosity, now that some of his anxiety had dissipated, and he realized that Novelty's eyes seemed to be searching.

"Are you looking for something?" he asked, hoping the soldier would simply decline to answer if it was intrusive. If Novelty was willing to tell him, perhaps he could help.

With his eyes searching deep in the underbrush, Novelty didn't notice at first when Philip slowed behind him. Once he did, though, he looked around for the lieutenant, who had become quite contemplative, and the air rushed out of Novelty's lungs. Philip really was beautiful in the dimming light and the dense trees, his furrowed brows ridiculous against the softness of his innocent face.

Are you looking for something?

Novelty blushed deeply, somewhat surprised that Philip hadn't put two and two together yet. But then again, Philip hadn't exactly been with it when Novelty had made the anti-climactic proclamation about his offering. Maybe that was something to be grateful for.

"It's probably too dark to find much of anything," Novelty said, finding difficulty turning away from gazing directly at Philip, "but I'll need to know where to find the vining flowers for tomorrow." Perhaps it was too much to hope for that Philip wouldn't remember anything Novelty had said back near Rutliff's tent, but the idea of surprising Philip with his display at the ceremony tomorrow pulled a deep sense of gratification and arousal from Novelty's thighs and hips, depositing it squarely in his stomach before it rushed all the way up his shoulders such that it was difficult to stand, let alone control the wave as it moved through his body. He had to close his eyes to do it.

When he opened them, Novelty wanted desperately to kiss Philip again, to entwine his limbs with the lieutenant's here where no one could see. But, he had to control himself. Philip had enough confusion in his own body for Novelty to carelessly add to it, and he had likely already done enough to convince Philip to volunteer. What was even fair in this situation?

"Philip... uh... lieutenant... if it's all right, will you tell me... what changed your mind?" Novelty was hoping against hope that it had nothing to do with him. It was one thing to go off on a potentially suicidal mission on his own, but it was another thing entirely to have convinced someone else to go as well on account of Novelty's tendency toward reckless and spontaneous affection.

But, maybe, just maybe, Novelty was far too full of himself and he wasn't, as he sometimes seemed to believe, the center of all the action.

Vining flowers for tomorrow. Right. It took Philip a moment, but he did remember Novelty saying something about that being his offering, now that he looked for it, though he still felt he was missing something. His stomach was a little uncomfortably warm despite the encroaching nighttime, and then butterflies erupted as he suddenly thought back to Novelty's kiss. Was it ridiculous to be talking as though that hadn't happened? But... even if they were to acknowledge it, Philip wasn't sure what that would even mean. His own cheeks blushed as he watched Novelty process something through his body--something that made Philip think of the way the goddess had touched his back in his dream. He shivered silently, grateful that he was confident Novelty hadn't seen.

But then, when Novelty opened his eyes again, he stammered about how to address Philip, and asked him about his decision to go to the goddess. Philip felt heavy and nervous, his body growing stiff again, but an answer moved smoothly from his lips, almost as though it was already prepared.

"I couldn't not see her again." His blush deepened as his own words rang in his ears. Shame bubbled up again, and he swallowed heavily before adding, "and... Philip is fine. Rank won't matter much longer. I'm barely a lieutenant as-is."

Novelty couldn't help his expressing from falling as he heard Philip say that he couldn't help but go back to the goddess. While Novelty was grateful that it wasn't because of him, he was a little disappointed that he had nothing to do with it. What if Philip didn't actually have a thing for... well, him? But, then again, Novelty hadn't cared whether that was the case when he had kissed Philip. It was something Novelty wanted.

The soldier tried to breeze past his emotions, though, paying more attention to what Philip said about rank and giving the lieutenant a playfully incredulous expression, almost a mischievous smirk.

"Just because you needed a few down days doesn't mean you're not still a lieutenant. No one would think Commander Miyamoto was less deserving of respect if she caught an illness for a couple days." Novelty continued walking and resumed his search then, grateful that he had something else to focus on. He felt a little embarrassed that the two of them had stopped for a moment, and Novelty's confidence about the situation was slipping, at least internally.

"But, I like the sound of your name, Philip," Novelty said quietly, eyes scanning the underbrush.

For a brief moment, a flash of fear hit Novelty's chest as he realized he had made a rather rash decision to go alone with a man who had all but admitted to raping someone--raping Evan, of all people--and Novelty hadn't even stopped a moment to think about whether that was actually a good idea.

Glancing with a somewhat worried expression at Philip, Novelty looked for any sign that Philip meant him harm but couldn't find anything but innocence in the lieutenant's open face. Novelty sighed and relaxed, reassured somewhat, and smiled before walking on. Maybe Philip had just needed to get it out of his system, and the goddess had obliged.

Philip had caught Novelty's expression dip, but the cadet was much faster on the uptake than he was, and was moving along cheerfully long before Philip had conjured any sensible response to whatever it was that had muted Novelty's smile.

The lieutenant sighed softly and rubbed a little at his neck as Novelty playfully chided him for his comments about rank. He was right, of course; Philip would have been just as useless to his soldiers if he'd been bedridden from illness, and no one would have blinked. He knew that some had blinked, though, and he didn't think they were wrong to. Still, it was hardly worth debating Novelty about--it was hardly worth debate at all, really. Especially not when Novelty went on to say that he liked the sound of Philip's name.

The butterflies erupted again, and Philip felt his cheeks warm as his thoughts returned once more to that kiss. He still didn't know what he wanted in light of it, but he seemed to be getting more and more uncomfortable with not acknowledging it. If they went to the goddess' realm without doing so... well, Philip wasn't sure what would happen.

Novelty glanced back to Philip, and Philip took in what nuances of the soldier's expression he could in the fading light. He seemed pensive, maybe, and Philip swallowed heavily. Maybe... maybe Novelty was also nervous about what was going unsaid. Philip wasn't historically good at saying things, but... maybe that was something he needed to change.

"Earlier," he started tentatively, "in my tent..." and then, he couldn't help trailing off, vigilantly watching for changes in Novelty's posture that were less likely flower-related. He pushed himself to continue after a moment, though. "Why did... you kiss me?"