Evan shook his head softly, saying, "I asked her about him. She knew of him, and I think we could ask her more details if any are relevant, but she..." Evan swallowed as he thought back to the moment the crone had asked him what he was really asking, when he'd been inquiring about Samael. How should he describe that? It wasn't quite dodgy--it genuinely seemed more like she just wasn't sure what Samael had to do with anything, he supposed.
"Didn't imagine he'd have caused any real damage," is what he went with, though his tone likely hinted at more uncertainty on this part than others. He was starting to get nervous that he'd overlooked important details--again.
Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Moderator: On Dreams And Desire
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
The commander narrowed her gaze slightly when Evan spoke next, starting to feel like he was repeating himself. It made her nervous that there was something he was not telling her, and she was anxious enough about everything else such that she had an exceptionally low tolerance for that sort of thing.
Mizu sighed, more audibly that usual, trying to collect herself. She reminded herself that Evan cared about the goddess and was likely genuinely worried for her sake. She couldn't fault him for that. Still, the commander needed some reassurances.
Standing and coming to stand nearer to Evan, using her height to her advantage.
"Captain Rutliff," she began, "it has never been more important that you are forthcoming and straightforward." She paused for a moment, looking away before looking back at him. "I need to trust you." Her eyes became almost pleading then, her eyebrows somewhat raised. Quieter, she added, "You are at the center of everything that hangs in the balance."
Mizu sighed, more audibly that usual, trying to collect herself. She reminded herself that Evan cared about the goddess and was likely genuinely worried for her sake. She couldn't fault him for that. Still, the commander needed some reassurances.
Standing and coming to stand nearer to Evan, using her height to her advantage.
"Captain Rutliff," she began, "it has never been more important that you are forthcoming and straightforward." She paused for a moment, looking away before looking back at him. "I need to trust you." Her eyes became almost pleading then, her eyebrows somewhat raised. Quieter, she added, "You are at the center of everything that hangs in the balance."
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Evan clenched his jaw when Mizu sighed, and his whole body tensed as she stood and walked towards him. Anxiety bubbled in his chest over what exactly she was about to call him on, and he couldn't help glaring at her as she started lecturing him about being forthcoming.
He managed to soften a little when her gaze turned to pleading, though. She wasn't angry--or at least, if she was, she was holding it at bay. He held onto that tightly, assuring himself that Mizu wasn't trying to speak down to him here; on the contrary, she was trying to ask for something important from him.
"She didn't seem to understand what I was asking," Evan said a little exasperatedly, "when I asked about Samael. She said something like, he's got a long walk back to paradise, and then asked me, 'what are you really asking about?' So, that's when I told her we were worried the goddess might be injured. And to that, she said that whatever the goddess' state..." blush started forming on Evan's cheeks, and he grit his teeth momentarily, wishing he'd just stopped a sentence sooner. But, he'd gone and started now.
"I'll be able to bolster her tonight." That was his answer to buy him some time while he thought about what more to say. Gods, he wanted to just leave it at that, but he couldn't, not with Mizu's pleading eyes so close by.
"There are more details about that in particular," the captain said softly, his gaze aimed flusteredly off to the side. "But it's... y'know..." surely, the state of his expression was plenty for Mizu to understand the nature of his hesitance here.
He managed to soften a little when her gaze turned to pleading, though. She wasn't angry--or at least, if she was, she was holding it at bay. He held onto that tightly, assuring himself that Mizu wasn't trying to speak down to him here; on the contrary, she was trying to ask for something important from him.
"She didn't seem to understand what I was asking," Evan said a little exasperatedly, "when I asked about Samael. She said something like, he's got a long walk back to paradise, and then asked me, 'what are you really asking about?' So, that's when I told her we were worried the goddess might be injured. And to that, she said that whatever the goddess' state..." blush started forming on Evan's cheeks, and he grit his teeth momentarily, wishing he'd just stopped a sentence sooner. But, he'd gone and started now.
"I'll be able to bolster her tonight." That was his answer to buy him some time while he thought about what more to say. Gods, he wanted to just leave it at that, but he couldn't, not with Mizu's pleading eyes so close by.
"There are more details about that in particular," the captain said softly, his gaze aimed flusteredly off to the side. "But it's... y'know..." surely, the state of his expression was plenty for Mizu to understand the nature of his hesitance here.
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Mizu was grateful that Evan didn't try to push back too hard against her plea, and he was more forthcoming. At first, Mizu didn't know what to make of what the old woman said about Samael, but after a moment, she decided that the crone must have a low opinion of him, or at least far lower than the woman had of the goddess, to say he was far from salvation. The commander idly wondered where the old woman thought the goddess was on that spectrum--surely not at salvation--but Evan's exasperated tone and the way that he began fumbling for words again pulled her back to the present.
She was grateful when she finally caught wind of why Evan was having such difficulty. Of course there was something to that effect. She should have expected it. For a moment, she had an absurd moment of jealousy, frustrated that Evan had clearly spoken openly about such matters with the old woman--why couldn't he be similarly forward with her? But, she understood. Mizu held a position of authority over him, and they all had reputations to uphold. Still...
She knew that she could force it out of Evan if she wanted to, but that felt entirely selfish. Fine then, what did she actually need to know here?
Mizu took a step back--Evan had done as she had asked, after all.
"Are you bringing the goddess an offering?" Surely that question was open ended enough.
She was grateful when she finally caught wind of why Evan was having such difficulty. Of course there was something to that effect. She should have expected it. For a moment, she had an absurd moment of jealousy, frustrated that Evan had clearly spoken openly about such matters with the old woman--why couldn't he be similarly forward with her? But, she understood. Mizu held a position of authority over him, and they all had reputations to uphold. Still...
She knew that she could force it out of Evan if she wanted to, but that felt entirely selfish. Fine then, what did she actually need to know here?
Mizu took a step back--Evan had done as she had asked, after all.
"Are you bringing the goddess an offering?" Surely that question was open ended enough.
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Evan's gaze returned to Mizu as she stepped back, his expression still flustered and nervous but gaining a bit more comfort.
"Yeah," he nodded in response to her question, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Essentially."
He hadn't thought of it as an offering before--after all, it had been a trade, in certain ways--but, he liked thinking of it that way now. It made the ache between his legs considerably more pleasant to bear.
Evan tugged his mind back to the present with Mizu, though, lest he start falling into memories or fantasies he'd rather not indulge in in front of his commander. He wondered if that was all she needed, and for a moment he was excited to take his leave, but the pleading in her eyes from before tugged the sensation that he was about to get away with something to his attention, and guilt twisted in his gut. Fine, then.
"The priestess did recommend I return in the morning. Said that it might help the goddess to have me through a whole day, but that it could endanger me. The mission to free her, even. I guess that long with her, I might lose sight of why I'm there."
Evan felt... sad, as he spoke. Sad, and desperate to get back to the goddess. Obviously he knew it'd only been hours since he was last with her--hell, since he and the goddess were last in the same body together, even--but gods damn it he missed her. Which... well, maybe the gravity of that was precisely what the priestess was warning him about. Evan frowned and narrowed his eyes a bit, frustrated at the thought, but ultimately yielding to it.
"I'll plan to return in the morning regardless of whether Ponderance's toy works or not."
Some voice in his mind was screaming in anger, absolutely fucking pissed at throwing away the option to stay with her preemptively. He might've looked angry at Mizu because of it, but his glare was more distant than times when he'd definitely been angry with her. He was angry at the situation, pissed that the universe seemed to be conspiring to keep him from falling asleep skin to skin with the goddess. Maybe he'd never have the opportunity to experience that, and that thought was fucking killing him.
But he had to free her.
Evan refocused his eyes on Mizu, determined and present. He would bear the longing in his chest and the ache between his legs, for her.
"Yeah," he nodded in response to her question, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Essentially."
He hadn't thought of it as an offering before--after all, it had been a trade, in certain ways--but, he liked thinking of it that way now. It made the ache between his legs considerably more pleasant to bear.
Evan tugged his mind back to the present with Mizu, though, lest he start falling into memories or fantasies he'd rather not indulge in in front of his commander. He wondered if that was all she needed, and for a moment he was excited to take his leave, but the pleading in her eyes from before tugged the sensation that he was about to get away with something to his attention, and guilt twisted in his gut. Fine, then.
"The priestess did recommend I return in the morning. Said that it might help the goddess to have me through a whole day, but that it could endanger me. The mission to free her, even. I guess that long with her, I might lose sight of why I'm there."
Evan felt... sad, as he spoke. Sad, and desperate to get back to the goddess. Obviously he knew it'd only been hours since he was last with her--hell, since he and the goddess were last in the same body together, even--but gods damn it he missed her. Which... well, maybe the gravity of that was precisely what the priestess was warning him about. Evan frowned and narrowed his eyes a bit, frustrated at the thought, but ultimately yielding to it.
"I'll plan to return in the morning regardless of whether Ponderance's toy works or not."
Some voice in his mind was screaming in anger, absolutely fucking pissed at throwing away the option to stay with her preemptively. He might've looked angry at Mizu because of it, but his glare was more distant than times when he'd definitely been angry with her. He was angry at the situation, pissed that the universe seemed to be conspiring to keep him from falling asleep skin to skin with the goddess. Maybe he'd never have the opportunity to experience that, and that thought was fucking killing him.
But he had to free her.
Evan refocused his eyes on Mizu, determined and present. He would bear the longing in his chest and the ache between his legs, for her.
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Yeah, essentially.
Gods, it hurt. It probably shouldn't have, but it did. More secrets. More evidence that it was likely always going to be this way. A captain speaking to his commander. She couldn't really imagine that changing, even after the war was over and they became, essentially, equals.
Still, it was a small price to pay for revolution. She could set her personal desires aside for that. She had done it plenty of times before.
When Evan spoke next, Mizu was grateful to be pulled from her thoughts, even if it became painfully obvious how difficult it was for Evan to say that he shouldn't stay a full day will the goddess. This worried Mizu somewhat. Would he be able to keep a level head with the goddess this evening? Was Evan at risk? Not if he came back in the morning, she told herself. But, would he be able to? Would he want to?
Mizu consoled herself with the fact that Evan was telling her this, albeit after intimidation. He had done well so far, for the most part, and she did need to continue to trust him. If Evan at any point determined that their cause was not worth what he was putting himself through... gods help them all. She needed him to feel just as appreciated--more appreciated--than the volunteers going to the goddess tomorrow night. Fuck. She hadn't exactly done a great job at that thus far.
"Thank you," the commander said, staring at the floor for a moment before looking up at Evan. "Genuinely, thank you. I know that, even if some of this is pleasurable, the rest must be--" she remembered what Serio had said about Evan's discomfort in the mess tent "--more difficult than anyone could imagine. And, I'm..." Mizu took a deep breath, fully committing to what she was about to say. "I'm proud of you. And forever grateful. Please do come back in the morning."
She looked away, then, not wanting to see, at least at first, whatever emotions her statement might have brought up for Evan. Then, looking back his direction, she said, "And, when all this is over, I really would like to hear some of the... ' y'know. ' " She smiled slightly at that, poking a small bit of fun at Evan's previous word choice.
Gods, it hurt. It probably shouldn't have, but it did. More secrets. More evidence that it was likely always going to be this way. A captain speaking to his commander. She couldn't really imagine that changing, even after the war was over and they became, essentially, equals.
Still, it was a small price to pay for revolution. She could set her personal desires aside for that. She had done it plenty of times before.
When Evan spoke next, Mizu was grateful to be pulled from her thoughts, even if it became painfully obvious how difficult it was for Evan to say that he shouldn't stay a full day will the goddess. This worried Mizu somewhat. Would he be able to keep a level head with the goddess this evening? Was Evan at risk? Not if he came back in the morning, she told herself. But, would he be able to? Would he want to?
Mizu consoled herself with the fact that Evan was telling her this, albeit after intimidation. He had done well so far, for the most part, and she did need to continue to trust him. If Evan at any point determined that their cause was not worth what he was putting himself through... gods help them all. She needed him to feel just as appreciated--more appreciated--than the volunteers going to the goddess tomorrow night. Fuck. She hadn't exactly done a great job at that thus far.
"Thank you," the commander said, staring at the floor for a moment before looking up at Evan. "Genuinely, thank you. I know that, even if some of this is pleasurable, the rest must be--" she remembered what Serio had said about Evan's discomfort in the mess tent "--more difficult than anyone could imagine. And, I'm..." Mizu took a deep breath, fully committing to what she was about to say. "I'm proud of you. And forever grateful. Please do come back in the morning."
She looked away, then, not wanting to see, at least at first, whatever emotions her statement might have brought up for Evan. Then, looking back his direction, she said, "And, when all this is over, I really would like to hear some of the... ' y'know. ' " She smiled slightly at that, poking a small bit of fun at Evan's previous word choice.
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
When Mizu first said thank you, Evan assumed it was because it put her mind at ease to know he planned to return, which was fine. It made sense, really--the more he was here in camp, the better she knew what he and the goddess were up to. It did admittedly make some part of him bristle, like she preferred keeping him on a shorter leash, but then Mizu went on to thank him in a different way, which opened his expression a bit as he refocused on what she was actually saying. She was trying to give him acknowledgement, he realized. She wanted to tell him she was proud of him.
It settled a warmth in his chest and a softer sort of blush across his cheeks, his eyes flicking away as he tried to stifle the stupid grin that tugged at his expression. He was happy to hear it, but there was also something absolutely absurd about it. He'd disobeyed orders to summon what many consider a demon, had some of the most confusing sex of his life, fucked his lieutenant, and now could barely make it two sentences without remembering how godsdamned horny he still was... and his commander was proud of him.
She even, then, went so far as to say that she wanted to hear at least some of what he'd been holding back. Evan's expression opened further, his eyebrows high and that stupid grin finally forming in earnest. He couldn't help it. He was surprised, and downright fucking giddy, even as embarrassment and nervousness bubbled excitedly in his stomach.
"Really?" the word escaped him in a full, nearly sing-song tone, high and hopeful down to low and sultry, one eyebrow dipping to be a little more mischievous. But then, perhaps catching himself, Evan grew a bit sheepish again, his hand reaching up to rub at his neck. Just, suddenly he found himself wondering, why had he been so tight-lipped about certain details with Mizu?
"I guess it just... seemed disrespectful to go into."
Not that he hadn't crossed that line with Xavier... but, he'd also fucked Xavier. Even if Mizu was interested in hearing about Evan's more lurid exploits this past while, outright fucking still didn't seem on the table. Maybe he was wrong about that, but that was far too much to contemplate with his body in the state it was in.
Now he felt rather awkward, though. Should he go ahead and share some details? He kind of wanted to--oh, gods, yes, the desire to boast was bubbling up rapidly--but, he also kind of didn't want to get into it. They both probably had other shit they needed to get on with, and Mizu had said 'when this is all over'. Still, he couldn't quite bring himself to close out the conversation, instead his eyebrows raising to Mizu in a bashful inquiry that he couldn't quite put words to.
It settled a warmth in his chest and a softer sort of blush across his cheeks, his eyes flicking away as he tried to stifle the stupid grin that tugged at his expression. He was happy to hear it, but there was also something absolutely absurd about it. He'd disobeyed orders to summon what many consider a demon, had some of the most confusing sex of his life, fucked his lieutenant, and now could barely make it two sentences without remembering how godsdamned horny he still was... and his commander was proud of him.
She even, then, went so far as to say that she wanted to hear at least some of what he'd been holding back. Evan's expression opened further, his eyebrows high and that stupid grin finally forming in earnest. He couldn't help it. He was surprised, and downright fucking giddy, even as embarrassment and nervousness bubbled excitedly in his stomach.
"Really?" the word escaped him in a full, nearly sing-song tone, high and hopeful down to low and sultry, one eyebrow dipping to be a little more mischievous. But then, perhaps catching himself, Evan grew a bit sheepish again, his hand reaching up to rub at his neck. Just, suddenly he found himself wondering, why had he been so tight-lipped about certain details with Mizu?
"I guess it just... seemed disrespectful to go into."
Not that he hadn't crossed that line with Xavier... but, he'd also fucked Xavier. Even if Mizu was interested in hearing about Evan's more lurid exploits this past while, outright fucking still didn't seem on the table. Maybe he was wrong about that, but that was far too much to contemplate with his body in the state it was in.
Now he felt rather awkward, though. Should he go ahead and share some details? He kind of wanted to--oh, gods, yes, the desire to boast was bubbling up rapidly--but, he also kind of didn't want to get into it. They both probably had other shit they needed to get on with, and Mizu had said 'when this is all over'. Still, he couldn't quite bring himself to close out the conversation, instead his eyebrows raising to Mizu in a bashful inquiry that he couldn't quite put words to.
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Once Mizu's gaze settled back on Evan's face, she saw the smile begin to emerge, which only became more ridiculous when both corners of his mouth and his eyebrows rose. Somehow, his initial reaction felt less like disbelief and more like relief. It was a reaction Mizu hadn't braced for, and her smile widened momentarily before she was able to get herself back under control enough to listen to what he said next.
His embarrassment had caught up with him.
Mizu let out a small scoff at the word, disrespectful. While she understood the reasoning, it felt foreign to her. She was a commander. She had witnessed terrible things in battle. She had been the right hand of a malevolent king. The last thing she was going to feel disrespected by was learning about how a goddess was treating her own captain. She needed to know what the situation was, and in this case, that absolutely included whatever fanned Evan's embarrassment.
"In the future, there's no reason to hold it back on my account." Her voice was serious and almost grave as she said it, her eyes harder than she knew. "I may need to know."
After a moment, she lowered her gaze and assessed if they had discussed everything. Evan had the offering covered and would be returning in the morning. He would give the goddess the gift from Ponderance and request to use it to inform the rest of them about the goddess' condition. They would have a ceremony set up for the volunteers tomorrow.
Ah, the volunteers.
"I know you don't have much time left, but whatever you can do to find out how many volunteers we have confirmed tonight would be greatly appreciated. If nothing else, we will have spread word about the ceremony by tomorrow morning, and that should garner a few more interested parties."
His embarrassment had caught up with him.
Mizu let out a small scoff at the word, disrespectful. While she understood the reasoning, it felt foreign to her. She was a commander. She had witnessed terrible things in battle. She had been the right hand of a malevolent king. The last thing she was going to feel disrespected by was learning about how a goddess was treating her own captain. She needed to know what the situation was, and in this case, that absolutely included whatever fanned Evan's embarrassment.
"In the future, there's no reason to hold it back on my account." Her voice was serious and almost grave as she said it, her eyes harder than she knew. "I may need to know."
After a moment, she lowered her gaze and assessed if they had discussed everything. Evan had the offering covered and would be returning in the morning. He would give the goddess the gift from Ponderance and request to use it to inform the rest of them about the goddess' condition. They would have a ceremony set up for the volunteers tomorrow.
Ah, the volunteers.
"I know you don't have much time left, but whatever you can do to find out how many volunteers we have confirmed tonight would be greatly appreciated. If nothing else, we will have spread word about the ceremony by tomorrow morning, and that should garner a few more interested parties."
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Evan nodded to Mizu with some seriousness, acknowledging that he'd recalibrate his hesitancy to share certain details--or at least, he'd try. Anxiety still bounced around in his gut at the thought of it, but the quality of it was different now; less concern about getting in some sort of trouble, and more just bashfulness about how the commander--how Mizu--would respond.
He'd just started digging into whether this meant she'd appreciate details about his offering for tonight, when she got back to business talking about volunteers. Evan relaxed into a more typical, captain-y stance, turning his mind back to those logistics. Come to think of it, he might've told Idel and Racoon to check in before sundown--and check in where, he hadn't exactly specified. Ugh. Maybe folks would naturally migrate towards his tent? If nothing else, surely people would be starting to look for him, then. So, maybe the best thing he could do was to go make himself accessible.
"Anyone who wants to volunteer and hasn't heard they're not leaving til tomorrow will probably be trying to check in with me soon. I'll send some runners around to try and gather interested soldiers by my tent."
There was just a soft up-tick there at the end, inviting Mizu's approval or objections to the plan before he set to it.
He'd just started digging into whether this meant she'd appreciate details about his offering for tonight, when she got back to business talking about volunteers. Evan relaxed into a more typical, captain-y stance, turning his mind back to those logistics. Come to think of it, he might've told Idel and Racoon to check in before sundown--and check in where, he hadn't exactly specified. Ugh. Maybe folks would naturally migrate towards his tent? If nothing else, surely people would be starting to look for him, then. So, maybe the best thing he could do was to go make himself accessible.
"Anyone who wants to volunteer and hasn't heard they're not leaving til tomorrow will probably be trying to check in with me soon. I'll send some runners around to try and gather interested soldiers by my tent."
There was just a soft up-tick there at the end, inviting Mizu's approval or objections to the plan before he set to it.
Re: Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Mizu nodded thoughtfully.
"Yes, that sounds reasonable. Send one of your runners back to give me the count when you have it."
She was prepared to let him go then but suddenly had a thought. What if there were more than ten people looking for Evan? What would it mean if so many of their soldiers didn't want to be here? Weren't they all prepared to give their lives anyway?
Mizu nearly winced, and it was barely audible. She wasn't sure she wanted to negotiate the finer points of that possibility with Evan, though. As far as they knew, they still needed more, and if there were too many come tomorrow, she could sort it out then.
Recovering her expression, she nodded at Evan again.
"Be on your guard tonight, Captain. Whatever injured the goddess might still be at large."
((OOC: happy to end scene here or whatever.))
"Yes, that sounds reasonable. Send one of your runners back to give me the count when you have it."
She was prepared to let him go then but suddenly had a thought. What if there were more than ten people looking for Evan? What would it mean if so many of their soldiers didn't want to be here? Weren't they all prepared to give their lives anyway?
Mizu nearly winced, and it was barely audible. She wasn't sure she wanted to negotiate the finer points of that possibility with Evan, though. As far as they knew, they still needed more, and if there were too many come tomorrow, she could sort it out then.
Recovering her expression, she nodded at Evan again.
"Be on your guard tonight, Captain. Whatever injured the goddess might still be at large."
((OOC: happy to end scene here or whatever.))