Written Wonderland

Chloe still felt torn. Captain Bronwen had given her leave to go, if reluctantly, but she hadn't told anyone other than Nathan of her intention to do so. She might've told Philip, if he wasn't still being so standoffish and evasive. Even Nathan had been somewhat confused--and, maybe it was fair of him to be; Chloe herself didn't really know what she expected from the goddess of dreams and desire. Maybe to be 'fixed', in some nebulous sense, or maybe just to find a spark of belonging that she'd never found anywhere else. Not that she was even decided on going yet, since Blake had told them there would be a ceremony to see them off tomorrow. But, she and Nathan had decided that it would be good to go see Captain Rutliff off tonight, if he'd have them. Nathan might not have decided that on his own, but Chloe was determined to become more involved, if she was seriously considering going to the goddess.

Her stomach leapt to her throat when they turned a corner and saw the collection of men around Rutliff's tent. Of course it was all men--she hadn't really expected differently, but even so, she supposed some part of her had hoped there would be more variety. It was all the worse, too, when Nathan let go of her hand, and walked a pace further away from her as they approached the group. Chloe bit her lip and pushed her hands into her jacket pockets, donning a steely expression.

---

Nathan was glad to be holding his friend's hand. He was grateful that they'd gone together to Captain Bronwen, and he was grateful that they were going together to Captain Rutliff now, even if he was a bit terrified. But, surely, if Rutliff was recruiting volunteers, he'd appreciate meeting them? Nathan wasn't so sure, but Chloe had been confident that it was the thing to do, and she was typically right about things like this.

He nearly froze when he saw a group of people gathered around Rutliff's tent, though. It was probably other volunteers, though he couldn't make out their faced from this distance, but he hadn't braced for a group. He supposed it made sense that others had had a similar idea, or maybe others still thought they were leaving tonight? A nervous buzzing started up in Nathan's stomach--what if Captain Bronwen had been misinformed, and they were actually leaving tonight after all?

Feeling jittery--and a little embarrassed--Nathan let go of Chloe's hand and stepped a little to the side. None of the other volunteers were holding hands with each other, and Nathan couldn't bear the thought of him and Chloe being ridiculed right as they arrived. It was scary enough that Chloe was a girl. Of course, not that Nathan hadn't had his own supposed disqualifications, which the goddess clearly hadn't cared about when she'd taken him. Maybe volunteering was another thing altogether, but... Nathan was sure she wouldn't send him away, and he hope that would be the case with Chloe, too.

When he was closer, Nathan recognized Ramanujan and Trevor, and he shyly approached Ramanujan and tried to catch his gaze, if only just to share a silent greeting. Mostly, he just wanted to be close to someone familiar, and Ramanujan felt a bit more approachable than Trevor, if only just.

---

Chloe also recognized Ramanujan, recalling how he'd raised his arm to call down the shimmer that morning. She waited patiently to meet his gaze, and when she did, she gave him a respectful nod, unable to help associating him with the feelings that had rained down from the sky. He'd helped bring that shimmer into this world, and didn't that make him at least a little divine? Chloe grasped tightly to that memory, reminding herself that that was really why she wanted to go. She may not be interested in lurid stories, but she was very interested in chasing that awe.

---

Evan watched quietly as his words sank in for those present, and yet more folks trickled in. Sure enough, Trevor showed up, and he was pretty sure that the smaller black-haired boy was one of Dod's soldiers. Then came the first soldier who had been attacked, and a girl who walked with him. Evan couldn't help raising his eyebrows, confused about who she was or why she was here.

Then again, he reminded himself, he'd told Moretti that anyone who wanted to volunteer should, man or woman. Saying that and actually seeing a woman show up were different experiences entirely, though, especially given that Evan was pretty sure that this girl wasn't Moretti's bunkmate--setting aside that he doubted that particular person existed, this girl was certainly not one of Evan's soldiers, and if he had to place her, he was fairly confident she was one of Bronwen's, like the boy she'd arrived with.

The girl caught him staring, and her cheeks reddened as she met his gaze. Her expression was soft save for her stiff eyebrows, pushing determination through her dark blue eyes. Evan nodded gently to her, deciding to welcome her without comment for the time being.

((OOC: I'm assuming that really that all happened fairly quickly; Evan'll prolly not feel comfortable leaving silence stand for much longer lol, but I figure Raccoon'll prolly have a chance to show up at least! And then Chris and Philip can roll in... and then we've got everyone, right???))

Trevor's stomach was in turmoil, and he was grateful that no one seemed much interested in interacting with him. He kept his distance somewhat, ready to get on with it. Were they going to leave or what? The sun was quickly disappearing, and Trevor was anxious. Some part of him had hoped that perhaps he would have been the only one to volunteer, but that was wishful thinking. Obviously, the army needed more than just him to get the Shel'ti back.

Seeing yet two more volunteers arrive threatened to make Trevor roll his eyes, and he did let out something of a scoff. The boy was understandable--he had been attacked as well and probably had about even less interest in withstanding the goddess' pull as Trevor himself did. The girl with him, though. Maybe she was just there for emotional support? Or maybe she genuinely wanted to go. Trevor wasn't sure what to make of her. It was fine, he guessed. One more to join the crowd. Were they ready now?

--

Novelty looked at the two new volunteers with interest, especially while they were holding hands. Somehow, Novelty did not expect a woman to volunteer, but there was really no reason why she couldn't. All sorts of questions bubbled up in Novelty's mind, but he felt like now was not the time, especially because the female soldier seemed keenly aware that nearly everyone present was at least surprised by her arrival. Novelty decided to make an effort to make her feel welcome, and when she looked his way, he gave her a warm smile.

Seeing Nathan was a good sign, Novelty supposed. Perhaps not all the attacked men had as much of a rough go of it as Philip had. Here was for hoping.

--

Ramanujan looked with interest at the incoming pair: Nathan and a female soldier. Some part of him rejoiced at seeing her walk up, though it didn't show on his face. He wasn't immediately certain why, but he soon realized he was hoping that the goddess would take them more seriously if they weren't all there for surface level reasons. It was reasonable to assume that the female soldier was interested in more than that, right? Surely most women weren't as sexually obsessed as Ramanujan knew men to be. Yes, Ramanujan was grateful that she would be along for this journey and nodded at her accordingly.

The soldier also noticed Nathan attempting to get Ramanujan's attention, some recognition that they had been through similar experiences together. Hell, they had even woken up this morning at the same time, albeit Ramanujan had not been just himself at the time. It was of some comfort to see a physical presence that reminded Ramanujan of how real his time with the goddess had been. Ramanujan looked at Nathan and offered a small smile but did not make any move closer.

--

After finishing the conversation with their captain, Raccoon spent most of the day wandering. They hopped, skipped, and jumped on over to a rocky area they had discovered a few days previous upstream near a small waterfall and climbed to a vantage point, overlooking the camp. They were going to leave all this, all of Asphodel, even, in favor of the goddess' realm. And, if it weren't for a nagging sensation that there was something wrong about exchanging one group of people for another, Raccoon would be fearless in their decision.

They decided they would need to ask Rutliff about it before they could really feel comfortable going, but they were definitely going to show up at sundown regardless. It would be interesting to see who else Rutliff had rounded up. Who was as batshit as Raccoon?

When they climbed down and made their way back to camp, they found themselves surprisingly mum about the whole going-to-the-goddess thing. Every urge to brag or boast was hampered by a territorial desire to keep the information to themselves. Did they really want others to get all excited about it? What if they decided to volunteer, too? And what would happen if people started trying to talk them out of it? Or, worse, gave a teary goodbye? Yeah, all things considered, it was better to stay silent. It was one thing if other soldiers found out on their own and another thing altogether for Raccoon to do the telling.

When the sun was getting low, Raccoon set out for Rutliff's tent. As soon as they saw the gathered crowd--damn, Evan had been busy--Raccoon decided to go the long way around and approach from the other side, closer to the open field. With one quick back-handspring where they thought no one could see, they ran and dashed in between the last few tents and snuck between a couple tall soldiers in the crowd, doing what they could to be noticed by as few people as possible. It wasn't that they were embarrassed or even that they had much of a concept that they might be late--they just didn't want to make a big deal out of their arrival.

Raccoon looked around at the faces around them and decided they were, everything considered, in good company. All right, then. Let's get this show on the road.

Evan turned his gaze over the rest of the soldiers again--noting as Raccoon slipped in, surprisingly subtly--and took a quick mental head-count. He couldn't help grinning broadly; they were only one short. Surely they could find another tomorrow, and even if not, surely this would be enough to appease the goddess, perhaps with something else he could throw in personally to make up the difference.

For now, though, the sun was getting low. It was tempting to peek into his tent to see if the portal had arrived, but he saw the restless faces on many of the soldiers before him. He felt a little silly repeating himself, but, they all needed to hear the update. Perhaps to add some variety, or perhaps just out of instinct now that he was standing before a small crowd, Evan projected his voice smoothly and confidently, carrying himself with as much stateliness as anyone ever really saw from him.

"Thank you all for your willingness to embark on this journey. The commander has decided to wait until tomorrow to send you to the goddess, so that you can be honored with a ceremony befitting the occasion. In the meantime, you are each tasked with conceiving a personal offering for the goddess. I'll be going to her presently for the night, but--"

Evan had started to turn his gaze towards another new arrival as the man slid into the back of the crowd, but once he placed the tall blond lieutenant, he couldn't help going a little pale, his stateliness escaping him as queasiness turned over in his stomach.

---

Philip had hesitated significantly. After his talk with Novelty, he'd felt lighter, but that still didn't make his choice easy. Chloe had tried to talk to him again, and he tried to tell her that he had talked to someone, but the words escaped him and he was left feeling that he'd disappointed her again. He couldn't imagine telling Blake that he wanted to return, especially given that he still didn't know what he actually wanted. He wanted to be forgiven. Cleansed, somehow, of the rot he felt in his heart. Some part of him absolutely wanted to believe that the goddess had only shone a light on what had been there all along, and that she could fix it. But was that wishful thinking? Was that falling for her spell? Would going back to her only damn him for eternity?

He never did talk to Blake. There hadn't been time. The sun was setting, and he had to decide today. With a lurch in his gut, Philip started pacing towards Evan's tent, terrified but unable to hold back now. Yes, he had to see the goddess again. He had to see Novelty again. The path forward in this world without either of them looked bleak beyond Philip's capacity to bear.

He'd hesitated again when he actually saw Rutliff, though. Would Evan try to block him from returning to her? Likely, he wanted nothing to do with Philip ever again, and Philip felt much the same, but if they both wanted to see the goddess... there were plenty of others present, surely he could just slip into the background, not even trouble Evan. Of course, as he took in the words Evan was saying during his approach, he considered turning back--if tonight wasn't about leaving, did he really need to be there? But Chloe had already seen him, her deep, soft gaze fixed on him. He didn't understand why she was there, but there she was, and he couldn't turn away from her.

Philip slid into the back corner of the crowd, slouching and trying desperately to look small, but of course he towered above many of the others present. Usually he didn't mind so much, but he envied the smaller soldiers terribly now when he felt Evan's gaze fix on him. He might have been able to bear it, if the captain didn't also suddenly stop talking, and Philip closed his eyes shut in a powerful wince as his stomach leapt to his throat, feeling as though the ground had disappeared from beneath him. He silently begged Evan to just keep talking, and each moment of silence was absolute agony.

---

Chris' heart stopped when Evan paused his speech.

The boy had been deeply relieved to see so many already gathered, their attentions hopefully thoroughly fixed on the captain as he spoke. Not only that, but Evan's words--of a ceremony to honor them--rang through Chris like a clear bell, almost making him want to cry. He held those feelings silently within him and slipped deftly up to the back of the crowd, optimistic that no one had really taken notice. But then Evan's voice stopped all at once, and attention shifted chaotically, and at first, Chris feared that somehow, it was about him.

It wasn't, though. There was a taller man, trying to blend into the background as Chris had, but failing rather miserably. Chris averted his gaze as soon as he saw the man's expression, deeply uncomfortable with the tension in the air. He had a burning desire to know what in the hell it was about though, and so he turned his gaze back to Evan, hoping to make heads or tales of the captain's pale face and nauseous-looking expression.

((OOC: I think Evan's only going to miss like, a beat and a half, but, y'know, amidst this many people there's a lot of space for reactions in that beat and a half.))

Gavin's anxiety and capacity to deal with the large group of people was waning by the second, especially since Evan said they would not be leaving tonight. More and more people were joining them, and Gavin wondered if they would soon have more than they bargained for. What if the entire camp wanted to go? Who would be left to fight then? But surely the commander would not let that happen. Surely there would be some safeguard in place.

The soldier calmed down somewhat when he caught sight of not only the smallest of the attacked men but also a woman amongst the gathered group. If she was joining... then perhaps Gavin really didn't have anything to worry about. Gavin did feel for the girl, though; it couldn't be easy being the only obviously feminine person in the group. Evan didn't exactly give anyone time to heckle them, which Gavin appreciated, even if Rutliff himself did momentarily look confused.

Then, Evan repeated himself about the ceremony--reasonable since others had joined--adding new information about needing a personal offering. An offering? What did Gavin have to offer? He started to sweat and grew quite warm. He stepped to the edge of the group to get as much air as possible. Well, he had a full day to figure it out, gods help him. Maybe he could collaborate with some of the others.

Evan's speech did stop abruptly, however, and Gavin looked to where Evan was looking, trying to suss out what the cause had been. A tall blond man, another of the attacked men, Lieutenant Pemberley, if Gavin remembered correctly, had arrived. Interesting. Why did that make Evan lose his nerve? The lieutenant looked equally uncomfortable. Had something happened between them in the goddess' realm?

--

Having clocked and counted the volunteers several times now--Raccoon was here, but a second ago, they weren't--Novelty was bubbling with excitement when Evan began to speak. They had nine! Nine! Surely this would be enough for the goddess even if no one else was prepared to risk it.

When Evan mentioned the personal offering, Novelty was pleased that he had gotten quite a head start on that front and curiously gazed at the other volunteers, wondering if they had any ideas on what they would do or bring.

And then, while Novelty's attention was elsewhere, Evan stopped mid-thought, which seemed unusual. Novelty looked back at Evan to see that something had obviously shaken him, and the color drained from his face as though he had seen a ghost. When Novelty followed Evan's gaze, he inhaled sharply, audible but only just. It was Philip. And then it all made terrible, horrible sense.

Novelty's mind flew in a million different directions. Why had Philip come? Was he here because of Novelty? Was he here in spite of Novelty? Was he still trying to talk Novelty out of it? Did his actions have anything to do with Novelty at all? What was he doing here? Why would he...

On and on it went. Novelty turned red out of an emotion he could not name--too many at once. His stomach was queasy with the sudden certainty of understanding what had happened between the two men. He tried to parse what had previously been only a guess, but he knew that, any moment now, Rutliff would recover and begin speaking again, and besides, how did Novelty want to interact with Philip?

Philip was shrinking by the second, and it was heartbreaking to see the gentle giant reduced this way as everyone stared in his direction. Oh gods, why had Philip come? Had he truly given so deeply into his despair?

Novelty's body was moving before he really gave it license to, shifting himself out of the center of the crowd, slowly, methodically away from Lance through the other volunteers, to stand near Philip, flickering the smallest smile before brushing a pinky finger against Philip's hand for the briefest of moments. Then, he gave Evan a pointed look. Get on with it.

It wasn't that Novelty didn't feel empathy for Evan. He did. He absolutely did. Evan had clearly been affected by what Philip had done to him. But, Evan was a captain. He was leading this expedition of his own volition, and it was Novelty's understanding that, from the very beginning, Evan had opted in to whatever would happen with the goddess. That Evan had underestimated her was not Philip's fault, surely. And Philip... Philip had never gotten a choice. He had been taken in the night and told to do things that made Evan's blood run pale. As far as Novelty was concerned, Philip was the victim here, and Evan had a job to do.

Novelty couldn't stop thinking about why Philip was here, though. He worried that he might actually have persuaded Philip into it, and that definitely had not been his intention. Novelty had only wanted information. The kiss was... well... it wasn't coercion of any sort. That would have been too devious even for Captain Kade to have come up with.

And if Philip was here of his own accord... Why? Did he really miss the goddess that badly? Was he being compelled? Was he throwing everything away? Novelty could not see a path through that was not extremely painful to bear.

But what of Novelty's own feelings? Selfishly, deep below all the questions and concerns, he was thrilled at the possibility of going to the goddess with Philip. And, surely, he could spend time with Philip without jeopardizing the "secondary" reason Captain Kade wanted Novelty to go. He could do reconnaissance and have a good time, right?

Assuming Philip was going for the right reasons.

Which would be what, exactly? Novelty sighed, more than prepared to just keep listening to Evan at this point.

--

Evan's uncharacteristic pause shook Ramanujan somewhat. He considered Captain Rutliff rather unshakable. When Ramanujan looked in the direction Rutliff was staring, he saw Philip, and Ramanujan shifted from foot to foot with discomfort. So, Evan wasn't all right with what had transpired. And still Philip wanted to go back? That was surprisingly bold of him.

Ramanujan looked back to Rutliff with concern on his face. Would Evan be able to do this? Could someone more suitable be found? No, he supposed not. However confused and uncomfortable Evan was right now, the goddess would not stand for someone going in Evan's place. Ramanujan shuddered to think of how ferocious her fury would be. No, for whatever end, the goddess wanted Evan in the exact state he was in, and Rutliff was going to need to push through it regardless.

((OOC: I'm assuming that people are starting to take notice now that there's a crowd gathering, and I'm imagining that Xavier and maybe Katrina are arriving around now?))

Philip gasped softly when someone touched him, and he stepped to the side reflexively before opening his eyes to see who it was. He was glad to see Novelty--or at least, he thought he was--but he couldn't stop himself from looking away, a faint redness coloring his cheeks as his heart thumped loudly in his ears. He didn't have any idea what to do.

---

Evan wasn't entirely sure what to make of the look from Kade's soldier, or his brief interaction with Philip, but he decided not to dwell. Instead he simply cleared his throat to shake off his fluster, and moved his eyes to another part of the crowd. It seemed that yet another young soldier had joined the group, which helped stoke confidence in his chest again--they had more than enough, now. He wasn't sure how that would shake out, but at least they wouldn't be left wanting, where their deal with the goddess was concerned.

Some other soldiers were also starting to gather a little farther away, taking an interest in the goings-on. Evan caught sight of Katrina and Xavier there and gained a hint of red, his stomach doing another flip as he worried Xavier might have seen his response to Philip and put two and two together. Well, best way to run interference on that was to push forward.

"Captain Kade is leading the charge on the ceremony, in coordination with a priestess who lives here in the woods." His voice and his posture were back to smooth confidence once he continued, despite the lingering unease in his stomach. "He and the commander will ensure that details about the ceremony are disseminated through camp."

He paused briefly there, weighing what else he should say. His promise to Katrina nagged at him, especially with her red face watching him from the onlookers, but now didn't really seem like the time to make an announcement about the goddess' cock. Besides, of the men who had already been with her, all but Seth were volunteering to return--surely they could share that information with the others? Or, worst-case, Evan could always tell them tomorrow afternoon... but would that be too late? It wouldn't change anyone's mind, would it? Much as that possibility was hard to believe, Evan decided he should probably at least allude to it now, prompt them to ask questions sooner rather than later if it would truly make a difference.

"The goddess will be much of what you likely expect, but also so much more. Do not expect a mere woman looking to tumble; she is a shapeshifter, a force of nature, and a fierce deity. She will humble you, surprise you, push your limits, and change how you think about pleasure."

Evan could feel his cheeks warming, his last words surprising himself and bringing to mind the column of light, and the river, and then with an aching throb, the powerful longing that still gnawed at his core. Gods, he wanted to get to her.

"I have to go to her before her portal closes tonight. I'll be back tomorrow and can talk to you all more then."

---

Lance was thoroughly incapable of keeping a grin off his face as his eyebrows shot up at the sight of Philip and Evan's response to him. Holy shit, something juicy had happened there. His gut twisted though, a little embarrassed of his smile--he was keenly aware of what Novelty had said about something unpleasant, and Lance knew Evan wasn't one to flinch lightly. Moreover, Evan's own warnings echoed, but still, all Lance could do was grin wider, especially when Novelty started moving.

All told, Lance was about ready to burst by the time Evan finished talking. He hadn't really learned anything new from Evan--though he was glad to be gathered with the other volunteers. Regardless, that energy had to go somewhere. Lance immediately piped up once it was clear that Evan was done talking.

"Can we see the portal?"

---

Evan blinked at Lance, his gut response a defensive 'no', but he remained silent for a moment instead, contemplating. Why not show them the portal? Because it felt private, apparently, but now that Evan was looking at that impulse, he had to admit that a lot of what felt 'private' about his interactions with the goddess soon wouldn't be, with ten--maybe eleven--other soldiers going to her in full view of the entire camp.

"No one else goes through tonight under any circumstances." Evan said seriously, and then casually stepped closer to his tent with a slight smirk. "And I'm not sure all of you can fit in my tent."

He didn't like this--prickling jealousy and irritation stabbed at his core and his back--but, he did feel like he owed these soldiers something along these lines. He'd be sharing the goddess with them all soon enough, and probably, for most of them who hadn't already been with her, she wasn't even quite real yet; for them, maybe seeing the portal would indeed be helpful, even if he doubted Lance's request was a thoughtful as all that.

"But yeah, alright."

((OOC: How many people do you think can fit in Evan's tent at once? lol. I think we've been imagining that three was somewhat cozy, and with the portal there too maybe three would really be a crowd? But maybe we're still under-imagining what a captain's tent would be? Idk, I'm open to whatever is most interesting right now lol. But I guess I figured that 12 would definitely be pushing it.))

Raccoon listened to Evan talk, noticing briefly when Evan seemed to miss a beat, which was weird, but the captain seemed to shake it off quickly. The soldier might have gotten bored hearing the captain talk--it was all things Raccoon expected for the most part--but then Evan sounded as though he was going to close down the conversation altogether already. No, that was not going to fly. Raccoon wouldn't want to wait another entire day with their question unanswered.

But, before Raccoon could think of some way to interject, Lance asked to see the goddess' portal, and fuck if that wasn't intriguing. They didn't think that Evan would allow it, but the captain smirked and surprised the soldier with an affirmative response.

"I want in the first group," Raccoon said with a measure of confidence, "but first, I have a question I think we'd all like answered." They were making assumptions, but if people hadn't been thinking about it, they should be. "Why are we more valuable to the goddess than the Shel'ti?"

Raccoon put their hands on their hips and looked with smugness at Evan, proud of themselves for bringing something that felt useful to the table.

((OOC: In the event that Evan pauses or stutters, Ramanujan would pipe up fairly quickly with: "Captain, I have information to offer on that front."))

Evan didn't care much when Raccoon said they wanted to see the portal first. He went ahead and started dipping into his tent, figuring the volunteers would sort it out smoothly enough, when Raccoon went on to demand a question answered. That pulled Evan's expression towards grumpy as he turned back around to look at the soldier, but he softened when he heard the question. For half a moment, he wasn't sure he had an answer, and was starting to dip into his memory of his renegotiation with the goddess--how had he gotten ten for twenty-eight?--but then all at once, the words were there on his tongue, and he answered with a calm certainty.

"You're volunteering." He let stand just a brief pause as he regarded the larger group. "That is another thing I should make clear. Neither the commander nor the goddess want anyone to go who don't genuinely want to be there, so if you're here as a martyr, relieve yourself with the knowledge that we have what we need without anyone resigning themselves to a fate they don't desire."

Evan couldn't help looking at Philip, though he flicked his eyes away just as quickly. He realized that he'd hoped for some sudden movement on the lieutenant's part--some recognition that he didn't belong here, given what Evan had just said. He saw no such movement from Philip, though, and clenched his jaw briefly before flicking his eyes to the sun touching down on the horizon.

((OOC: Evan's got another comment on the tip of his tongue, but as ever, figured there's plenty of reactions that might be worth having in that moment.))

Novelty looked around after Evan told everyone not to go as a martyr to the goddess , expecting that someone would move, but no one made a move to leave. The soldier couldn't help but glance at Philip--Novelty had told Philip something to that effect only a few hours before--but Philip seemed stalwart in his decision. Well, that was a good sign, at least. Still, Novelty wondered about what Philip pulling away from Novelty's earlier gesture meant. Had Philip decided he hadn't enjoyed their kiss? Probably not; it was likely more that Philip was in no way prepared for a public display of affection, no matter how subtle. Yes, Novelty would go with that.

--

Raccoon felt unsatisfied with Evan's response. What did them volunteering have anything to do with it? Did Evan want them to believe that the goddess was that put out by taking people unwillingly? Then why did she still take them? Something wasn't clear.

"Fine, then what makes volunteers different?" Raccoon said, rolling their eyes.

Evan pulled his gaze from the sky back to Raccoon, grumpiness returning. He couldn't tell whether Raccoon was being earnest or just a troll, and he didn't have much time to suss it out. He narrowed his eyes at Raccoon, deciding to allow himself to be snippy.

"You wouldn't rather tumble with someone who actually wants to than someone you forced into it? C'mon in if you want to see the portal; I have to go through by sundown."

He nodded at the sun disappearing on the horizon, and then gruffly turned and entered his tent.

((OOC: And, uh, I guess, if the portal is indeed not there, then Evan would proceed to groan loudly and frustratedly say "Fuck". Not totally sure what after that just yet. Otherwise, he'll stand next to the portal in a way that makes room for others to file in.))

Ramanujan watched the captain's expression turn somewhat sour, and the soldier was somewhat frustrated that Evan wasn't treating these questions with more sobriety. Maybe the captain genuinely did need to go to the goddess right that moment, but the volunteers had a right to understand what they were getting into, especially the ones who had not been there before. Ramanujan had been holding his tongue before, but now he could not allow Evan's non-descript comment to stand. There was simply so much more to it than that.

Raccoon was prepared to follow Evan into the tent and perhaps keep nagging at him, but Ramanujan grabbed the back of his shirt to get Raccoon's attention, and the wild-eyed soldier snapped around to see who had done it. Primarily unfazed though he dropped the soldier's shirt immediately, Ramanujan said, loud enough for at least the small group of assembled volunteers to hear, "The goddess shared some of her thoughts with me, and I understand the difference. Those she takes in the night are mere shadows of themselves, unable to act without a command, unable to disobey. Those who come to her of their own accord are there in flesh and blood. They are agents in their own right, free and unrestricted." Ramanujan felt like there was more detail that he might reach, but it required digging through the facets of the goddess' memories that he hadn't seen directly, and time was clearly of the essence. But, there was one detail he felt the need to add, though he said it quieter, "At least, at first."

Raccoon nodded but quickly dismissed the words of the soldier who had grabbed them and rather immediately followed Evan into the tent.

--

The red portal in the tent flared and flickered soundlessly in its swirling oval mass, as tall as any man who might have stepped through the tent flap and as wide as one as well. Staring into the depths, it was possible to make out only the slightest of shapes, shapes that certainly weren't playing out against the back wall of Evan's tent, but they were obscured and difficult to make out unless one knew already what they were looking at.

Raccoon stared at it with awe and wonder. Here, finally, was some tangible proof that what Evan was saying wasn't just all a load of bull. Here, finally, was the passageway to the goddess' realm, and Raccoon almost felt humbled in its presence. This really was real--this really was happening. Good gods, Raccoon was going to the goddess of dreams and desire. They were going to an entirely different realm.

With jumbled haste and without turning their head or gaze from the portal, Raccoon said to Evan, "I was wrong to ever doubt you."

((OOC: Evan might recognize the hot pools in the portal in the event that that's relevant, but he wouldn't see the goddess well enough to recognize her or even realize that anyone is there.))