Written Wonderland

"I'm happy for you," Evan said, his smile muted, maybe shy. He certainly seemed more embarrassed than upset.

But the statement gave Mizu a feeling of emptiness. It was the kind of thing someone said when a person got married or got a promotion... but Mizu would be saying goodbye to Lance tonight. She'd have the memories, and she suspected she would return to them often, if she could keep guilt from discoloring them too badly, but...

"And..." he added carefully, "it would be rather hypocritical of me to judge." Mizu let out a breath that was almost a laugh but was more of a scoff. Evan, too, then. Who hadn't had an indiscretion? How many captains would be left if she took their positions from them over this? Just the dishonest ones?

It was an oversight that she hadn't addressed this possibility sooner. At the capital, suggesting people sleep outside the army was one thing. But here, camped out in the wilderness together with little but screams in the night to look forward to?

It was telling of Mizu's own inexperience with the whole matter that it had gone unmentioned so long, she imagined.

"I suppose I should have expected this. You'd think, with the war, people would have more on their minds." To be fair, it wasn't a matter Mizu suspected anyone to feel comfortable advising her own, lest they come across desperate themselves.

She contemplated an announcement she might make to either condone or reject the practice outwardly, but maybe it was better to let the matter sleep. Clearly, people had already made their own choices about it.

She did worry about the additional tensions it might cause. If people grew angry and refused to talk to each other...

And then Mizu remembered the mounting tensions between Yukiko and Evan and wondered if she were finally putting the pieces together. Granted, if she were correct, there wasn't as much of a rank issue to consider there as between herself and Lance.

But maybe Evan was talking about something else entirely.

"One of the downsides of not staying nearer a town, I suppose," Mizu said, staring dispassionately at the floor, unable to help from feeling like she had done something wrong. Not necessarily with Lance, but with the army as a whole.

Mizu let out what Evan could only describe as a soft scoff--maybe a bitter laugh--and he frowned, setting his palms down on his knees as he studied her expression. His chest tightened in preparation for a reprimand, but mostly the commander just seemed... sad. Overwhelmed, maybe. Evan couldn't really fault her for that, and waited quietly for her to, hopefully, share more of her thoughts.

"I suppose I should have expected this," she finally said. "You'd think, with the war, people would have more on their minds."

At that, it was Evan's turn to let out a soft huff of a laugh, though his was a little more good-natured.

"One of the downsides of not staying nearer a town, I suppose."

Mizu looked down at the floor as she spoke, downright dejected. Evan sighed, his brow furrowing nervously but his lips stuck in a crooked, hopeful smile. Still, all he could offer was a shrug while he thought of what else to say. It was hard to gauge what she was looking for--or open to, even. On some level this whole conversation seemed absurd--when had Evan ever even imagined talking with Mizu about this? But, it was real, and here, and he wanted to genuinely engage with it, if he could just figure out how.

"It's... not an oversight, to have not thought about your soldiers' sex lives," he offered tentatively. His crooked smile was genuinely amused, and trying to be reassuring, his brow raised with a nervous hope that Mizu wouldn't find his amusement patronizing. "The whole point of discouraging fraternization, as I understand it," he continued, "is to make sure we all take our ranks seriously, and don't abuse them. I, uh, am not too worried about either of those things with you."

His cheeks were hot as he thought about Xavier, wondered whether he should be worried about either of those things there. But he still felt respected by his lieutenant, even with everything, and... surely, they'd become involved despite Evan's rank, not because of it.

"Not that I'm an expert on decorum," he added after a moment with more humor, hopeful that Mizu would appreciate the absurdity of him of all people talking about this, at now of all times. He leaned back in his chair, spreading his arms in a lazy but effective re-display of his outfit to acknowledge the juxtaposition, his grin growing a little more confident in its amusement.

((OOC: Did a super brief google about military fraternization and in general it seems like it's fine to date within your rank, the problem is just fraternizing across ranks. Not that we have to stick to that, but I think it makes sense, and I suppose that's the direction I leaned for Evan's replies here.))

Mizu didn't look up from the ground. She couldn't afford to meet Evan's eyes.

"It's... not an oversight, to have not thought about your soldiers' sex lives," he offered tentatively.

Your eyes flicked up to him, her eyebrows pulled together in hope and gratitude. Evan was smiling, amused, and she couldn't blame him. The entire conversation was absurd in all regards.

"The whole point of discouraging fraternization, as I understand it," he continued, "is to make sure we all take our ranks seriously, and don't abuse them. I, uh, am not too worried about either of those things with you."

This comment warmed her, and she smiled a little, looking down at the ground for another moment. It had been a long time.

"Not that I'm an expert on decorum," Evan added, and Mizu looked at him long enough to see a far more characteristic grin on Evan's face as he again gestured toward his own outfit.

Mizu gave Evan a long, slow, sad smile and stood up, her weariness showing a little in the wavering of her muscles.

"Thank you. That... helped."

She wanted to clasp his shoulder, reassure him that she still respected him, but she wasn't sure touch was appropriate, given everything.

Her smile waxing wistful, Mizu said, "It was beautiful, while it lasted. I hope you have more luck with the goddess."

Mizu did smile at least, but she still looked so incredibly sad. It tugged at Evan's smile, wavering his brow. Then she stood up, looking maybe the weakest he had ever seen her. He blinked in surprise, his expression fully back to concerned as he stood up as well.

"Thank you," she said. "That... helped. It was beautiful, while it lasted. I hope you have more luck with the goddess."

Evan gave a tentative nod. He felt like maybe that was her dismissing him, but he remained standing where he was, quiet for a long moment as he mulled over her words, searching for what he was missing. As eager as he was to lay his head down and rest, something felt almost painfully incomplete here. Finally, it landed heavy in his gut, and he gave Mizu his own sad smile. At least, he hoped he had this right.

"I count Lance a good friend, you know," he said lightly, then added with a freshly amused grin, "when he's not being an insuferable ass. I really am glad you got to know him in a moment of joy. I'm... really glad that you got to have a moment of joy. It's... important." His smile grew more earnest as he spoke, culminating with an almost boyishly resolved expression.

Evan nodded and looked for a moment like he might take his leave, which Mizu supposed was reasonable. He had been up all night, several nights in a row now.

But he didn't move much and instead said, "I count Lance a good friend, you know." Evan smiled, clearly amused. Mizu felt her face warming. But then he added, "when he's not being an insufferable ass." Mizu's eyes widened considerably, looking at Evan as a jolt of fear and discomfort shot down into her belly. Is that what the rest of camp thought of Lance? And what would that mean for her?

Evan continued, though. "I really am glad you got to know him in a moment of joy. I'm... really glad you got to have a moment of joy. It's... important." Mizu softened, hearing that and smiled a little, cradling the happiness she found last night close in her heart.

"Emissary of the goddess indeed," Mizu said, nodding at Evan. "Anything else you'd like me to know?" It was gentle and open-ended. She didn't want to preemptively close whatever window of vulnerability they had opened.

"Emissary of the goddess indeed," Mizu said with a soft smile. Evan's eyes widened, his face flashing red hot. There was an urge to deny something, though he wasn't exactly sure what. Instead, his hand reached up to touch the portal hanging around his neck. The gesture relaxed him, though he still felt a bit awkward, and his other hand rubbed nervously at his hair while his gaze drifted bashfully to the side.

"Anything else you'd like me to know?" Mizu asked gently, and Evan gave a bit of a melodramatic shrug as he returned his gaze to her and relaxed his arms back down to his sides, smile wide and sleepy.

"I think we hit all the critical points," he said with a light sigh. He realized after he said it that it felt a bit trite, though. "Thank you," he added, his brows drawn together earnestly and his smile a little crooked. "For your candor."

He did wonder if there was more candor he ought to give her. About Xaiver, or the goddess... gods, there were a million things he could share about the goddess. But if he was going to get any decent shut-eye before the ceremony tonight... it was a bit melancholy to leave this bubble of openness he and Mizu had entered together, but there just wasn't enough time to linger in it.

"I should probably get some sleep." He let his melancholy show in his eyes, though his smile held its ground. Here was hoping that there would be more opportunities to exchange candor in the future.

((OOC: So yeah from here, assuming Mizu dismisses him, he's gonna go zonk right tf out, unless anybody else is planning to intercept him. I'm guessing he'll probably sleep til about mid-afternoon if he can get away with it. Whenever he wakes up, he'll be hungry. Not sure where the best place is to go next once this scene wraps up.))

((OOC: Mizu doesn't strongly feel the need to post back. I think from this point, she would consult with Serio briefly to tell him that, yes, the king has Ponderance and that the goddess is okay. Unless he has qualms/suggestions about it, she would inform the captains with runner boys of what had occurred with the prince, sparing no details, and let them decide how to tell their troops, but she would likely make a casual public appearance in the mess tent to celebrate the alliance.

I guess, opportunity for Evan to have a dream. If he does, especially if he's sleeping while touching the scale, I suspect that will influence what Dehaljadrun does. Otherwise, we might want to start thinking about if Serio or any of the volunteers need to do anything before the ceremony starts.))

"I should probably get some sleep." Mizu looked up at Evan where he looked sad and tired again, the energy from his earlier amusement evaporated. Mizu's shoulders slid down a fraction. She lamented that they didn't have more time.

Nodding, she walked him to the tent door and said, "Thank you. Truly." Turning from him, she added, "I do hope the volunteers rotate out. Eventually," and let him go.

A subtle melancholy gently weighed down Mizu's shoulders as she nodded to Evan in understanding. They turned toward the tent's exit together, Evan's body finding a quiet joy and comfort in the ease of walking alongside her.

"Thank you. Truly," she said as they reached the threshold. Evan gave her a warm, respectful nod and reached for the tent flap as she turned away, though he paused when she added, "I do hope the volunteers rotate out. Eventually."

He blinked at her over his shoulder, surprised by the comment. The weight of it settled in soon enough, though. He thought about reassuring her--that he had every intention of pursuing that outcome as he'd said he would. But, that didn't seem like why she'd actually said it.

"Me, too," he offered instead, and then took his leave.

((OOC: And I'll post more for Evan later but wanted to go ahead and get this out and then do other posts before coming back to this lol))

Xavier had been even more restless than usual after Evan went through the portal. He found the amount of energy in his body difficult to contend with. He was... really, really happy with everything that had happened between Evan and him on their walk, but Evan always had to leave again, every time becoming more of a person Xavier wasn't sure he recognized.

Then again, he liked this version of Evan, too. The one the goddess had... chosen. Was continuing to choose.

And, in turn, Evan was choosing Xavier.

Which was about the time in Xavier's thought cycle when he started squirming in his chair and was grateful he had a tent to himself. One of the perks of being a lieutenant. Sometimes, he had to rush in there just to in some way contain his giggles. And then there was always the temptation to lean in to reimagining Evan's mouth around...

Oh gods. Oh gods. Oh gods!

But Xavier took a few deep breaths and went back outside. He tended the fires, ran around the perimeter of camp, and enjoyed the river, but finally, Xavier needed to tell somebody.

Lieutenant Allegre lamented that he couldn't just go pal around with Gavin anymore. They had been close before Xavier became a lieutenant, but now... Xavier wasn't sure he should be quite so frank. Still, Gavin was planning to leave to the goddess' realm... surely it wouldn't matter if Xavier told Gavin?

It was only seconds after the thought to tell Gavin was in his head that Xavier began rushing--as casually as possible--in that direction.

After some looking, he caught his friend, gestured wildly at Gavin to come with him, and ran off in the direction of the woods. Gavin laughed but followed Xavier, albeit refraining from running.

Once Gavin caught up, during which Xavier was practically jumping from foot to foot, Xavier blurted, "I know you probably have a lot on your mind, but I really, really need to tell you something, and it's kinda, I don't know, but like, you're going to the the goddess and like, please?"

Gavin laughed again, a little blush coming onto his face.

"Yeah, of course." And Gavin's smile turned a little sad, but Xavier couldn't stop himself from saying.

"Evan and I had sex earlier today." It all came back in a rush, all the words jammed into each other, and Xavier's couldn't help but cover his mouth after all of it came out.

Gavin's eyes widened, and he looked confused for a second, but then he broke back into a smile and gave Xavier a huge hug.

"Xavier, that's... that's amazing!" And Gavin launched into a hug around Xavier, who promptly started jumping up and down. Then Gavin joined in until they were both giggling. After a moment, they separated, and Gavin said, "I'm really so happy for you. I know how long you've been crushing."

"I mean, we were all crushing," Xavier said, his cheeks getting red.

"You more than most," Gavin said with a little smile. Xavier pulled his shoulders up to his ears and giggled again. "Was it good, then?"

"So good!" Xavier screamed and jumped again. But then stopped suddenly. "But, I miss him, and he's going to the goddess an awful lot, and now you are and..."

The two of them discussed Gavin's decision, both of them ultimately happy and hopeful for the other. It was one of the sweetest goodbyes Xavier could have hoped for. He hoped the shadow goddess would go easy on Gavin.

The rest of the night and well into the morning, Xavier couldn't stop thinking about Evan but also Raccoon. Were they safe? Would they come back? Did they count as a volunteer?

The waiting was the hardest part in all this.

Xavier might have slept in, but he heard some murmuring around camp in the early morning, and Xavier got dressed and out of his bedroll to see what the commotion was.

Listening in casually to two soldiers' conversation around the campfire, Xavier caught them talking about Evan. Evan's new armor, especially. The goddess gave him armor to go with his sword. Oh boy.

Xavier held himself back from ducking back into his tent. But, had Evan gone to sleep already? Had he gone to talk to Mizu? Xavier decided to wait near Evan's tent, trying to discern if he could hear Evan inside. Nothing. Well, he could wait here for a bit.

He hopped on one foot and then the other and then caught sight of Evan from across the way, walking toward him in a black and purple spiked jacket cropped high on his hips with pants that showed off every inch of the legs Xavier had admired with such audacity just yesterday. The grin on Xavier's face was open and enormous, and while he kept his distance enough to not intrude, Xavier gestured to his own chest and pointed at Evan, putting his thumbs up afterward as though to compliment the outfit.