Written Wonderland

"Of course. Thank you, XJ."

Jaz was grateful that the interaction seemed to be finishing up. She didn't hold anything against the shopkeeper, but the exchange left Jaz feeling tense. Surely there was some wisdom the elders had tried to impart to Jaz about not being too attached to objects, but she couldn't remember it now.

When she and Ren walked back out into the daylight, Jaz took a deep breath of fresh air, grateful to be out of there. Ren led them away from any vendors or buildings, for which Jaz was grateful.

"There are a few more supplies it would likely be wise to get you," Ren said. "If you're up for it, I can take you to the next stop I have in mind. Or, we could head back to the temple first. I'm sure Monica would be happy to store the tent there until we depart."

The idea of navigating another interaction with a shopkeeper was daunting, and the tent in Jaz's arms was going to weigh on her. Still, she rather preferred the idea of getting settled sooner rather than later. And if there were tears in the tent to mend, she wanted to get that done as soon as possible before the cold of night set in.

But, gods, more supplies? Maybe she should just stay in the temple. It sounded like something of an ordeal to stay out in the elements on her own. Still, Monica's apprehension about drawing attention tugged at her. She really would be safer in the woods. And with a tent and supplies, she could leave and go out on her own without help if she needed to.

"I'd rather we continue. I'm eager to get back to the meadow," Jaz said, smiling as much as she could. It was a good effort. And, honestly, remembering the flowers and wild grasses did make her happy.

"I'd rather we continue. I'm eager to get back to the meadow," Jaz said, smiling, but Ren was sure he still saw overwhelm in her eyes. He debated briefly whether they could leave the other supplies he had in mind for another day, but that made him nervous. He would rather feel that Jaz had what she needed to be self-sufficient in the woods before they left town. That would give them a lot more flexibility in the days to come.

"All right, this way." He said, gesturing in a direction before beginning to walk. He wondered too late whether that was too much like a command, but, surely it was just information? Guidance, at most? He eyed Jaz, trying to gauge her level of distress. She didn't seem to be grumpy at him, as best he could tell, so he hoped all was well on that front.

Once he felt comfortable that Jaz seemed stable for the moment, Ren told her some about the currency she now carried, offering to hold the tent so she could fish some out of her bag to look at. He told her what different coins were called, what they were worth--what they were made of and what was depicted on them, as well, if Jaz seemed to have the curiosity and capacity to take it all in. He was careful to share just one piece of information at a time before gauging her response, not wanting to overwhelm her.

As they approached the next shop he had in mind, he advised her to set her coins on the counter when it came time to pay, or to drop the coins into the other person's hand. He would advise her about what to get, he told her, but of course, the currency she carried was hers, and it was ultimately her choice what to do with it.

Inside the shop, Ren directed Jaz's attention to the wares he had in mind, and was happy to describe what they were for, and different considerations in making a selection. He traded with this shopkeep frequently, and while there wasn't necessarily a great deal of social trust, so to speak, there was plenty of goodwill in their business relationship. Ren even made his own small trade with the shopkeep once Jaz's transaction was finished, and then led Jaz back to the temple to get some food and rest in before their journey back to his cabin for the evening.

The temple was a little more lively -- more people present, more chatter by the fire, and someone playing a soft stringed instrument on a cushion near Sankera's altar. Sonya sat near that person, smiling and swaying quietly to the music.

On the table by the door where there had been tea that morning, there was now food. The stew that Sonya had been working on sat in a pot with bowls available, bread and cheese and fruit and vegetables laid out in a colorful array on a serving dish beside it. Only a few people had food, but it was early yet. Monica emerged from a curtained doorway across from the apothecary, holding a fresh pot of tea which she moved toward the table carrying. When she caught sight of Ren and Jaz, she offered them a warm smile, and walked toward them after setting down the teapot on the table.

"Successful day?" Monica asked, eyeing the items Ren and Jaz both carried with a hopefu gleam. Ren nodded.

"Yes, very. Hoping we could indulge in some dinner before heading on our way."

"Of course. Feel free to stow your items in the apothecary, if you would like. Make yourselves comfortable, and let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you," Ren nodded again to her, offering a soft, grateful smile, and then looked to Jaz, nonverbally checking in before heading toward the apothecary to lay down their load.

"All right," Ren said, "This way." Jaz felt a little prickle in her chest at the words, some sensation that he did intend to instruct her, but the words were open ended enough that she could have acted of her own accord, had she wanted to. She decided not to mention it. She still wasn't convinced that he understood what all that would mean.

As they walked to the next shop, Ren talked about the coins Jaz now had, taking the tent from her for the moment so she could look at them while he explained the various denominations, pictures on the coins, and how she should hand them over in a way that would avoid touching the shopkeeper. Jaz frowned at that, feeling somewhat chastised about their encounter to appraise the stones.

But, overall, she was grateful that Ren was being so patient with her. He probably hadn't ever had to explain this sort of thing to anyone and definitely didn't expect to need to do all this labor for her. She didn't really know how well she would have gotten on without him. She hurried up to keep pace with him as they walked.

Ren's patience continued as they picked out some blankets, a few tools, and some dried fruits. Jaz put what she could of their purchases in her satchel and split the rest between herself and Ren to carry.

Jaz was tired of all the counting and consideration by the time they came upon the temple doors again, but the smells, sights, and happiness of the people within immediately shored up her spirits.

There was someone playing some kind of instrument near the altar, there were people laughing and talking, and there were so maybe different foods on display. Most of them looked like some kind of fruit or vegetable. There was also a substance that looked something like a thicker version of the wafers Jaz had brought from home. And then, of course, Sonya's stew.

Monica came out looking radiant carrying a container full of steam, which made Jaz buzz happily with excitement.

"Successful day?" Monica asked.

Jaz was grateful Ren responded before she could because she didn't altogether know how she felt about all the shopping.

"Yes, very. Hoping we could indulge in some dinner before heading on our way."

"Of course. Feel free to stow your items in the apothecary, if you would like. Make yourselves comfortable, and let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you," Ren said, even offering a small smile to her. Jaz was grateful that it seemed the awkwardness they had encountered earlier had dissipated.

Jaz followed Ren as he headed into the apothecary, and she was happy to lay down the bundle she had been carrying, though she decided to keep her satchel close. She wouldn't know what to do if she was ever wholly separated from it, and she didn't like thinking about the possibility.

She looked up at Ren, full of hunger again. She wanted to reach for him--take this moment when there was no one around to embrace him and cling to him--but the way he left so suddenly when Jaz had imagined climbing into his lap hung heavy here. She sighed and looked down at her feet, wondering if she should spend some time here on the floor before she tried to go back out there among so many other people she couldn't touch.

Jaz wanted to stop feeling like an outsider, but she wasn't sure that was going to happen anytime soon.

Jaz quietly followed Ren to the apothecary where they laid down their purchases from the day. Ren even took off the pack he'd been carrying since they'd left his cabin that morning. Jaz kept on her satchel, though, and he didn't make any comment about it. This step was all about comfort, and it made perfect sense that she'd feel most comfortable with her personal items held close. It was more than wise for her to keep those stones on her at all times, anyhow.

Once their burdens were laid down, though, Jaz didn't look ready to go get food just yet. She looked at Ren intently, and he grew very aware of their interactions with Monica in the meditation room earlier that day. He'd largely put it out of mind, having settled fairly comfortably into being sort of a guide for Jaz through the day. She wanted something else from him, though, and he debated whether he could safely give it to her.

She sighed and looked down to her feet, and Ren sighed as well, and extended his hand.

"We can stay in here for a little bit, or move to the inner chamber. I don't know how much I can give you, but now is a good time..." To do what, exactly? "... to touch." For lack of a better word. "We could see if Monica can step away for a few moments, too, if you like."

Before she had a chance to fully decide what to do, Ren said, "We can stay in here for a little bit, or move to the inner chamber. I don't know how much I can give you, but now is a good time... to touch. We could see if Monica can step away for a few moments, too, if you like."

Jaz looked up hopefully, noticing Ren's hand outstretched toward her. Tentatively, she took it, intwining her fingers in his and breathing happily as a trickle of sustenance passed between them. But, she couldn't hold off her trepidation at the thought of pushing past what Ren was willing to offer her. Those lines seemed difficult to navigate, and she suspected he would be much less forthcoming about it than Jaz herself was even able to be, especially while they were touching.

She leaned down to momentarily touch their grasped hands with her forehead in a gesture of respect before standing up again to answer Ren.

"I'll go ask Monica," Jaz said, having decided. With her free hand, she waved to where there was likely an absurd blue spot on her forehead. "Once this is gone again. You should go enjoy yourself out there. Have a break from... all this. You'll be seeing plenty of me."

Oh, yes, in her perfect world, she wanted to touch Ren as well as Monica, and maybe Sonya, too, but... she didn't want to worry about Ren. Not right now.

Jaz took Ren's hand, and for a moment it felt pleasantly warm, relief plain in both their experiences. Fear trickled in, though - worry about that looming memory of what had happened earlier that day. Ren tried to keep his mind away from it, to just focus on the soft entwinement of their fingers now.

He watched as Jaz leaned forward, briefly touching her forehead to their grasped hands.

"I'll go ask Monica," she said resolutely when she stood back up, almost comical given the blue spot she'd just created on her forehead. But before Ren could protest, she gestured with her free hand to it, acknowledging she was aware. "Once this is gone again. You should go enjoy yourself out there. Have a break from... all this. You'll be seeing plenty of me."

Ren felt a little bit stunned for a moment, the realization only slowly sinking in that she meant to spend time with Monica and not him. He withdrew his hand, nodding a bit absently.

"All right."

His mind instinctively searched for the edges of this agreement--that he might ask her to not leave the temple, or to make sure she found him by some certain time--but, for one, he didn't want to accidentally give her any commands, and besides... he found that he simply wanted to trust her in this. So, Ren let out a soft sigh, letting something go, and offered Jaz a tentative smile.

"Will you be able to tell when that goes away?" he asked, gesturing vaguely toward her forehead.

Jaz felt Ren slowly understanding what Jaz meant--essentially excluding him--and grew worried that he might be taking it a little harder than she had anticipated. But whatever further emotion she might have sensed from his touch was interrupted when he pulled away and rather stoically said, "All right."

She watched, subconsciously massaging her hand where he had touched her, as he looked for something to say. But, ultimately, he sighed a little and offered Jaz a half smile.

"Will you be able to tell when that goes away?" he asked, gesturing at her forehead.

She smiled brightly in return, grateful for the humor for the moment, even if it was at her expense. Holding up her mottled blue and beige hand, she said, "you were touching me longer here. I'll wait until my hand is clear." She wanted to kiss his cheek for reassurance, but she wasn't sure if that would cross some boundary, not to mention that she would then have to wait longer to see Monica. So, she just tried to wait patiently until Ren was ready to go.

Jaz smiled brightly. Ren was glad she'd taken his question in good humor, relieved that it seemed they would move into the next phase of the day smoothly.

Holding up her mottled blue and beige hand, she said, "you were touching me longer here. I'll wait until my hand is clear."

Ren nodded in understanding; that made sense. He was still hesitant to leave - worried about leaving her altogether alone while looking a different color, he supposed - but she truly was fairly safe here. Maybe one of Monica's apprentices might pop in, but it seemed unlikely. Monica knew he and Jaz had come in here and would likely be keeping an eye out. He let out another light sigh, letting that worry go.

"Okay. I'll go ahead and get some food then. Come find--I mean, whenever you need..." Ren frowned, looking away with some embarrassment. He really wasn't used to stumbling over his words in this way. "I'll make sure I'm easy to find."

It was tempting to turn and leave at that, lest he sit and stew in the sudden awkwardness, but he didn't want to risk leaving Jaz on any kind of sour note if he could help it.

"You should enjoy yourself, too." There was unfortunately more grumpiness in his words than he'd intended, and more awkwardness settling over him as he thought of what enjoyment might mean in the context of her pending interaction with Monica. Again his mind trailed toward his sudden departure from the inner chamber earlier; toward the moment that Jaz had shared the thought of climbing into his lap. He shook his head, trying to ground himself in his prayers to Sankera that had come after. He returned his gaze to Jaz, taking a genuinely good look at her, reminding himself of the many small interactions they had had today in which she showed respect and thoughtfulness. He reminded himself again that he wanted to trust her.

"Is there anything else you need?" He asked, his voice soft again, though his brows were drawn together in a hint of worry.

Ren nodded, but it seemed that he was still hesitating. Jaz's heart ached to include him--she did really want to, and if she was not mistaken, he wanted that, too--but she did not want a repeat of what had happened earlier. Quite honestly, she couldn't risk it. If Ren weren't going to touch her much at his cottage tonight, she really wanted to take anything she could get, at least that Monica would freely offer. And, jeopardizing that felt foolish.

"Okay. I'll go ahead and get some food then. Come find--" Ren started, and Jaz jolted, nervous, but Ren stopped and rephrased. "I mean, whenever you need..." He frowned and looked away quickly. Finally, he said, "I'll make sure I'm easy to find." Jaz exhaled at that, wondering if they would part now, but still, he lingered.

"You should enjoy yourself, too." Jaz thought she detected notes of bitterness in his words, but she nodded all the same. She was ensuring that she would. "Is there anything else you need?" he asked.

At that, Jaz genuinely laughed, her face alight. "Ren," she said, her smile still strong in her voice, "you've already hung the moon for me today." The statement was out before she considered whether such a phrase would land here in the same way as it did in her village. But they had moons here, right? Ren had mentioned as much.

"I'll be fine. I'll come find you soon."

((OOC: Jaz almost told Ren to "go on" as a command playfully on purpose, but she ultimately decided against it.))

Jaz laughed, and Ren frowned, defensiveness curling in his chest. But then she looked at him with a genuine smile, her face alight with happiness, and he relaxed.

"Ren, you've already hung the moon for me today."

Ren looked puzzled for just a moment as he parsed the phrase, but he felt he understood what she was saying. It made him happy, that she saw and appreciated what he had done for her today, even if he was stingy with touch in particular.

"I'll be fine," she said. "I'll come find you soon."

Ren nodded, feeling a little bit silly to very nearly need to be dismissed. He still felt pulled to stay, but with one final exhale and a mental reminder that she should be safe here, he let it go, and turned to leave.

((OOC: I'm thinking he'll probably give Monica a quick debrief, grab some food, and then go sit by someone he's open to catching up with. Maybe Cory??? Idk. Anyway, Monica will probably be kind of on the lookout for Jaz when she comes out and come to meet Jaz pretty readily. Def interested in brainstorming who all is at the temple tonight, but maybe that will not be important until after Jaz and Monica interact.))