Written Wonderland

Jaz hesitated once they left the apothecary--no, not hesitated; she was looking for Monica's gaze. That was good, most likely. Monica was quick to notice Jaz's attention. She clocked the tent in Jaz's arms, the bag over Ren's shoulder, and looked a little sad, but offered them both warm smiles and nodded in understanding. Ren raised his hand by his shoulder, palm open in both thanks and farewell. Monica reflected the gesture. He felt sad about the sadness that tugged at Jaz and Monica's edges, but it seemed like they would both be okay--on their own, and with each other.

Once they were outside, Jaz took a deep breath, and that seemed to relax her a little. She looked back at Ren and smiled, a little more convincingly. Maybe she was relieved to be done with strangers for the day; that's certainly where he'd be in her shoes.

She started walking back in the direction of his cabin, and Ren followed suit. Then, she bumped against his hip, and smiled a little mischievously at him.

"You're kind of nice when you're not suspicious," she said, and Ren realized that he was quickly feeling very nervous. They were done dealing with strangers-to-Jaz today, but they were also leaving anyone else who might watch Ren's back. Granted, he really did want to believe Jaz's story overall, wanted to trust that she bore no ill intentions. Her behavior had all been in line with that today... but of course, that was while she needed him, while she was under the watchful eyes of everyone else in town.

Ren sighed, exhausted by this already. He knew this spiral well, and was so fucking tired of traversing it.

"I wouldn't say I'm not suspicious," he said, his eyes grumpy and looking off toward the sunset. "Just... choosing to trust anyway. Don't make me regret it."

He winced a little, practically hearing one of many gentle admonishments Monica had given him over the years, though the actual words were a little bit garbled. Still, the message came through loud and clear that his words here were the sort that only took him farther from Sankera's hearth. Fitting, perhaps, as they left the temple, but that wasn't how he wanted it to be.

"And... don't take it personally. I'm a little suspicious of everyone, if that wasn't obvious."

Ren sighed heavily, and Jaz smiled, already coming to enjoy his many sounds, even and perhaps especially the annoyed ones. She imagined, briefly, lying against his chest listening to his breathing and his heartbeat. Maybe... next to a fire. It was starting to get cold, and her light fur was not keeping her exceptionally warm. She pulled the tent bundle closer to herself.

"I wouldn't say I'm not suspicious," Ren said, looking toward the sunset. "Just... choosing to trust anyway." She thought that was a good sign, at least until he added. "Don't make me regret it." Jaz couldn't help it. Maybe it was the release of tension she felt moving back out into the open air or maybe she was tired--hard to say--but she laughed. It was a sweet, carefree sound. The sound fluttered into her soul with a soft awe, and she felt gently warmed from the inside. It made her remember that she, herself, was a being a fire. She could be her own warmth, even here.

"And... don't take it personally," Ren added, hedging. "I'm a little suspicious of everyone, if that wasn't obvious." Jaz quieted while he spoke and nodded, looking ahead of them on the main path they followed, passing again the creek. She didn't say anything for a few moments, listening to the chirping of what must be small insects as they traversed the area around the water. Their song was somewhat intoxicating. Yes, this place did have its own kind of beauty.

"It seems warranted." Her voice was quiet, sad, and thoughtful. Jaz thought of the man who approached them before they entered the temple and the short shopkeeper who was so close to touching Jaz's skin. She thought of the discomfort on Ren's and Sage's faces when she spoke of Dehaljadrun. But... then... there was also Monica and Sonya and all the smiling, happy people in the temple. How many of them would be amenable to Jaz's presence the way Monica had been? The way Ren had been? It was dizzying to think about. There was so much to risk. She missed the open trust within her village, at least of the fellow djinn. But, come to think of it, how kindly would her people have treated an outsider? Who would even dare to visit their mountain? The thought gave her some sympathy for Ren's position. Of course, he was wary of her. And she hadn't forgotten that, to some degree, he was somewhat resentful of needing to be the one to shelter her.

"You've done me a great service, Ren. Sincerely, thank you." She paused for a moment, thinking. "If I had wandered into town on my own..." She shivered. "I was lucky to have you as a guide."

Jaz... laughed. Ren wasn't entirely sure what to make of that. He brought his gaze back to her, shoulders a little tensed, but she looked...carefree, and that was relieving to see. He relaxed as she nodded quietly, paying more attention to the scenery around them as they walked than to Ren. He could tell she was listening to the world around them, and he let himself sink into the sounds of insects stirring in the coming dusk.

"It seems warranted," she said after a moment, her voice quiet and reverent. She looked thoughtful, and Ren simply nodded and let the silence stand as they continued walking.

"You've done me a great service, Ren," Jaz added after another pause. "Sincerely, thank you. If I had wandered into town on my own... I was lucky to have you as a guide."

Ren felt hot in his chest, though tiny shivers trickled over his skin as the chill of the evening began to set in. He felt awkward, but grateful for the recognition. And, he supposed... he felt like Monica was proud of him--that Sankera even might be. That was a good feeling. He let out a soft sigh, relaxing into it. This was why he had settled here, why he had finally built a home. Not that he ever could have imagined playing guide for a visitor from another realm, but... in some strange way, it made some kind of sense. Almost like Sankera was testing him, maybe.

"I'm glad I've been helpful," Ren finally said. "Thank you for taking my lead today. And for tolerating my... retreats. You did well navigating all of that."

In the silence that followed Ren's reply, Jaz felt her sadness return. Sadness that she had left her village, sadness at the foreignness of this place, sadness that Ren and she needed to be so guarded. But, she tried again to represence herself to the experience of this place, this moment, and of all the creatures stirring now in the dimness of the evening light. She enjoyed watching through the foliage and trees for glimpses of movement. It stirred delight in her chest even if it also stoked some fear. She didn't have any idea of the types of entities that might spring from the woods, and yet, she didn't want to be afraid until she had a concrete reason to. After all, Ren did not seem concerned.

"I'm glad I've been helpful," Ren finally said. "Thank you for taking my lead today. And for tolerating my... retreats. You did well navigating all of that."

Jaz was grateful she was still walking slightly ahead of Ren as he spoke because her face lit up entirely, proud and happy to be praised. They had already come a long way from their interactions this morning, and she was starting to feel secure, at least when compared with any other human she had yet met.

"...thank you," Jaz said, a little breathless.

When they came to the small path that led the way back to Ren's cabin, Jaz clocked the rock she had made note of earlier and turned to look at Ren to confirm she had navigated correctly. The tent she carried suddenly felt bulky and clunky in her arms, and she readjusted it with the help of her knee.

"Thank you," Jaz said--a bit breathless, if Ren wasn't mistaken. He felt warm in his chest, and cast his attention off into the wilderness around them, determined to let a long silence stand. Jaz seemed amenable, and Ren relaxed a bit as they walked, bringing his gaze back after a few moments to watch her take in the scenery.

To his surprise and relief, that moment stretched out throughout the rest of the walk down the main road, allowing Ren to relax further into the always-welcome, sometimes-melancholy familiarity of this walk back toward his home. It was a rare thing for him to bring someone else with him, and he marveled a little at the novelty of it--though, he supposed this was a return journey for her, too; how strange.

To wit, Jaz paused as they approached the turn-off, glancing from a landmark rock back to Ren. Ren nodded, a strange mixture of pride and discomfort swirling in his chest. Gods, this hosting business felt terribly weird, but Ren closed his eyes and recentered himself toward Sankera’s hearth, as best as he could envision it--or really, more accurately, the feeling he associated with it, and attempted to navigate toward, when he was doing that particular goddess justice. When he opened his eyes again, he clocked Jaz readjusting her grip on the tent in her arms, and he began to feel self-conscious about the relatively light and compact load in his pack.

“Would you like to trade off carrying that?” he asked, holding out his arms in offer.

Ren nodded, but then closed his eyes, and she was uncertain whether he was pleased or disappointed with her. The mystery made her shift uncomfortably. She felt restless all of a sudden, like she had been in this body too long. She wanted a place where she could just... relax. Maybe the tent would be that for her, eventually. Or maybe she would try to settle down somewhere. In the village, maybe, once everyone knew what she was.

"Would you like to trade off carrying that?" Ren asked, holding his hands out toward the tent. She looked at the bundle. She was fairly certain she could carry it back on her own, but she also would genuinely appreciate the chance to stretch her arms.

"If you're amenable," she said, "yes. Thank you." A thrill sparked in her stomach as she said it and handed the tent off. She was careful not to touch Ren, not wanting to start another one of his... retreats. Still, the proximity was heavy in the air, and her breath caught in her throat. Gods, some part of her wanted to lunge at him and... pin him down or maybe smother him in sweet kisses, but she had a profound sense that that would be wildly unwelcome. And she wasn't about to let her touch starvation get the better of her. She, of course, still needed to respect the agency of all beings. If nothing else, the elders had drilled that into her.

To wit, she pulled her pack around and pulled out a piece of the dried food they had procured. It was leathery, chewy, and strange, but Jaz tried to enjoy it as they started walking again, this time off the path.

Jaz considered the bundle in her arms, and Ren wondered for a moment if it had somehow been rude to offer. Surely not?

"If you're amenable," she said, "yes. Thank you." Ren was still skeptical for a moment, but he did reach out to shift the bundle into his care, and he accepted it, deciding to dismiss his doubt as simply more hypervigilance, eternally making everything harder than it needed to be. He did briefly have a spike of very different worry as he and Jaz navigated the hand-off, some strange sense of touch echoing through the tent between each of their hands. She made sure not to directly touch him, though, and for that, he was grateful. Maybe once they got her set up for the evening, he could chance another encounter with her, but while they still had walking to do and the tent to set up, he didn't want to risk it.

He nodded for her to continue walking--she'd remembered the turn-off, and he was curious to see if she'd successfully navigate the rest of the way back, too. He could always speak up and redirect her if she started taking them off-course.

((OOC: Apparently Ren is content to stay quiet the rest of the way. We can post again if Jaz is, too, but figured we'd pause in case anything comes up for her along the way.))

As she walked--ahead of Ren--and ate, she felt the edge of her touch starvation lessen, for which she was grateful. She was chagrined about it, though. She would much have rathered to touch Ren... or Monica... or maybe even Sonya. But she would need to get used to managing with a substitute. It would come in handy when touch was not readily available.

Jaz walked, retracing the line they had traveled to get to the main path. She stretched her arms across her body once she had finished eating but kept walking. Once she was done, she paid more earnest attention to the path--it was getting thicker, and she had to look more earnestly for the ways the plants were a little trodden from their earlier excursion. She had to stop a few times to examine the plants, uncertain for a few moments, but she was confident that they were on the right path back to Ren's cottage without his help and were very nearly there before too long, for which she felt proud of herself.

And to think, the fae portal had dropped her just a stone's throw away from here. Gods, did that make this place sacred? Sacred or full of mischief, Jaz wasn't entirely sure.

"Am I... Well..." Jaz said, unsure how to word her question. "Has anything else from my realm or another realm made itself known to you here?" The question was genuinely curious, and she hoped Ren would understand what she was asking.

Jaz navigated well, and Ren felt simultaneously proud of her, pleased that he wouldn't need to worry too much about her getting lost, and also terribly exposed. How many people knew how to find him, even among the village? Not many, he ventured to guess, but this relative stranger now counted among them. It was a strange feeling, indeed.

Still, he did his best to relax into it, appreciating Jaz's contentment to walk in silence as Ren admired the scenery and allowed himself to get lost in thought. He prayed, for parts of it - that Sankera might bless this fledgeling alliance of sorts; that Veil might help him keep harmony in the space that he tended. He reached for prayers to Ressen and Inora also, but faltered, and found his mind tugged toward dreams he couldn't quite remember; worry rising again as he began to anticipate another fitful night.

"Am I... Well..." Jaz said, startling Ren out of his thoughts. He froze for a split second, mid-step, breath silently paused, before he realized himself and carried on, awkwardly grateful that Jaz hadn't seen, and hopefully hadn't even noticed.

"Has anything else from my realm or another realm made itself known to you here?"

"No," Ren replied, though he felt a fresh wave of nervousness and uncertainty about his recent restlessness, and about tales certain folk liked to tell about this area of the woods. He'd dismissed it--there were stories of some sort or another everywhere--but now it was harder to. He reached for something lighter, though.

"There are a couple others who live farther from the village like I do," he offered matter-of-factly. "Who've been here longer. They might also know more." Some, he'd be happier to visit than others, but it would be a reasonable course of action. At some point, anyway, while they tried to figure this all out. For now, they were running low on daylight to get this tent set up, and Ren gladly started in on that project once they made their way into the clearing by his home.

"No," Ren said, and a wave of dismay washed over Jaz, her face falling. She looked staunchly forward, continuing on into Ren's meadow. No one fully understood how the fae gates worked, but there was some hope that, on occasion, they sent a person to the same place twice. It wasn't just random, right?

But, no one here had ever seen something like her. Then again, they might be hiding who they are.

"There are a couple others who live farther from the village like I do," he added, "who've been here longer. They might also know more."

Jaz shrugged and let her shoulders fall a little dramatically, not feeling very optimistic about that possibility.

When they had come fully into the clearing, Jaz turned around, surveying the area for a good place for the tent. She wanted to be close to Ren, or at least his cabin, but she didn't know if he would much appreciate that. In the end, she said, "Any advice on where to put that thing?"

She tried not to show her defeatism, but none of the djinn were much good at hiding anything.