Written Wonderland

Jaz worried she had made things worse when she felt Chris stiffen against her, but he squeezed her again and melted back in. She was really grateful he had had the confidence to do this. It seemed to be helping them both.

She listened to the heavy silence for a moment, which Nick broke with, "Yes?" Jaz laughed a little as Chris pulled out of the hug. It made sense that Nick would be the most comfortable with her suggestion.

Ren was already on his feet and heading toward them, and Jaz looked up at him with large, curious eyes. He had Chris' deck in hand.

"Before or after we draw cards?" Ren asked. Jaz lifted her eyebrows and squinted a little, anxious about returning to whatever loop they had gotten stuck in before. Chris let go of Jaz to accept the deck somewhat tenderly, almost as though it was a peace offering.

"Well, uh... Jaz did offer to make the next round of drinks," Chris said quietly, glancing at Jaz. She nodded, happy that they might actually be salvaging things. She turned to go to the kitchen, but Ren's voice stopped her.

"I'll make the drinks," he said, his voice a soothing litany to her nerves. She snapped around to look at him in surprise. "Maybe you three can go ahead and start getting comfortable, and we can draw cards once I join you?"

Chris blinked a couple times but nodded at Ren. "Uh... yeah. I mean, that's fine by me." Nick also stood up, ready to move into her small back bedroom. She was grateful she had a queen-size bed, but even that was about to get... cozy.

Jaz turned to Ren and gave him a soft, surprised smile with raised eyebrows. He really had saved them just now. Gods, she owed him for that, big time. Winking at him, she went to grab her drink off the table, finished it quickly, and handed the empty glass to Ren. She then cupped his cheek with her hand and slid it down his face affectionately, mouthing "thank you." Then, she turned around and gestured with her head for the other two to follow her.

She was grateful she had had the sense to clean her room beforehand, figuring they would end up in her bedroom one way or another. Her bed took up most of the room, and it was directly on the ground, pushed up against two of the four walls with pillows for back support. Better for horsing around that way. Several mounted wall shelves could serve as side tables if they needed them.

Jaz climbed onto the bed, practically in the center, if a little closer to the corner, and hugged a pillow to her chest for a minute, trusting Nick and Chris to settle in where they wanted. She worried a little about Ren in the kitchen, but she needed to trust him, too. He probably needed a breather as well.

((OOC: There's also, like, a pile of blankets about if Nick and Chris want them.))

Ren was relieved that Chris accepted his proposal, and even a little pleased to have set the stage for the next encounter. Granted, he was nervous as hell about all of them in a bedroom together, but honestly, it might actually simplify things, compared to the disparate seating arrangements available in the living room.

Plus, then Jaz tossed him a wink, before stepping past. He pivoted to see everyone again; Chris had walked over by Nick, and Jaz walked over to the coffee table to grab--and then finish--her drink, before returning to him to hand him her empty glass, and cup his cheek with her hand. He smiled warmly, something in his chest relaxing thanks to the gesture. And then, she mouthed "thank you", and his smile sharpened. He did like it when she owed him.

---

Nick was so very glad that things seemed to be smoothing out. Chris moved over by him, and he was tempted to make contact--a hand on his arm, maybe? Or perhaps just a brush of the backs of their fingers together? But, no, Chris was holding his Tarot deck to his chest with both hands, inaccessible. To be fair, though, Nick probably would have still been too shy, anyway. He wondered if he should at least offer Chris some kind of conversation, but, Jaz approached them before he thought of anything, and he gave her a warm smile.

She gestured for the two of them to follow her, and they did. Nick glanced back toward Ren; he was already stepping into the kitchen out of sight. Nick worried a little about Ren, but, the thing to do at this point seemed to just be to trust him.

Jaz made straight for the center of the bed, and Nick shared a check-in glance with Chris, both of them a little bit nervous. They each gave a shy, warm smile to the other, though, and then made their way onto the bed next to her. Chris made for the space between Jaz and the wall, settling in cross-legged at first before stretching one leg out behind Jaz, shyly rocking it against her back. Nick crawled onto the bed toward Jaz, making shy eye contact with her as she approached, hoping/intending to lay his head in her lap, or just on the pillow she held, assuming she didn't deflect him to just sit beside her.

Jaz watched Chris and Nick decide where they wanted to be. Chris moved first, coming behind her to sit cross-legged at first, though Jaz was happy when he stretched out a leg around her.

Nick crawled over toward Jaz and made a motion like he wanted his head in her lap. She turned back to Chris, snuggling back into him and coaxing his other leg around her to support her back if nothing else. Then, she laid the pillow she held down in her lap and gestured for Nick to lay on it.

Once he was settled, Jaz pet Nick's hair, running her fingers through. With her other hand, she placed a hand on Chris' thigh just above his knee and squeezed. Yes, this was absolutely delightful.

Jaz wasn't altogether sure where Ren would fit into the picture, but he had said he was interested in watching. They could readjust again if needed. And, honestly, she liked the thought of him lying within reach, too.

Chris' heart pounded as Jaz leaned against him, coaxing both his legs around her. He set the deck of cards down on the bed beside him and shyly played with the tips of her hair against her back, while he watched her and Nick figure out their positioning, Nick ultimately settling his head into Jaz' lap. This felt so strange. But... really not bad, he supposed? Besides the strangeness of it? He felt a little jealous when he craned his neck to see Jaz's fingers running through Nick's hair, but then her other hand gently squeezed Chris' thigh, and he relaxed. It was more physically comfortable not to even bother seeing Nick right now, anyway; maybe he could just let that be. Chris settled into the pillows behind him, gathering an extra one to further support his back, and gave Jaz a gentle squeeze between his legs.

Just when he was contemplating suggesting some music, he was surprised by another hand on his leg--down by his ankle, gently wrapping around the outside of his calf.

"Is this okay, Chris?" Nick asked shyly. Chris blinked silently for a moment before craning his neck again to the side, first looking at Nick's fingers over his jeans, and then spotting Nick's face on the pillow in Jaz's lap, looking up shyly but hopefully in Chris' direction. They both got shy when they actually made eye contact, blushing and blinking away.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, it's okay." Chris said, a little astonished, but relaxing into it as he settled back against his pillows again. Nick gave his leg a gentle squeeze, and Chris willed himself toward his previous intention. "Um, should we put some music on?"

Chris seemed to have a little trouble getting comfortable, but he was settling in, and Jaz thought she felt his muscles relax by degrees behind her. He was even playing with the ends of her hair, which tingled pleasantly. His legs squeezed around her, and she felt more and more like everything was going to be okay.

With interest and surprise, Jaz watched Nick reach toward Chris' ankle, securing a light grip around the outside of his calf.

"Is this okay, Chris?" Jaz stiffened a little, worried.

Chris took a moment to answer, looking around her to see Nick's face where it rested on the pillow in her lap. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, it's okay."

After another moment, Chris asked, "Um, should we put some music on?"

Tabling her previous thought, Jaz nodded and said, "Oh, yes," digging around in her pocket for her phone. She was grateful she had made this part easy as the Bluetooth connected quickly to her speakers so that she didn't need to get up. She put on an instrumental playlist with a few electronic crescendos. Good for playing with touch.

That done, she set her phone on a nearby shelf, reaching past Chris and leaning back on him pleasantly, before she turned back to Nick and said, "You know better than to ask permission after the fact." She tapped his nose in reprimand, but it was playful, and her fingers then caressed his neck in forgiveness. Ultimately, she had hoped they would each enjoy each other's company, and the fact that Chris was amenable did make Jaz happy.

She couldn't help it, then, though--she looked at the door, starting to pine for Ren.

Nick sighed happily and nuzzled his cheek against the pillow, relieved that Chris was okay with the contact. It just... would have felt so stiff, if contact between them wasn't on the table. He settled in to feeling Jaz's subtle shifts as she dug out her phone, relaxed in the music that began to play from her speaker.

"You know better than to ask permission after the fact," Jaz said, and it admittedly took her tapping Nick on the nose to fully take in the statement and grok that she was gently reprimanding him. He tensed and blinked up to her, worried, but then she caressed her fingers against his neck, and he relaxed, content that the reprimand was gentle. Still, he felt bad, and worried about Chris.

"Oh, that's okay." Chris chimed in, and Nick chewed a small frown before finally sitting up so he could face both of them.

"Do we want to, like... talk about boundaries?"

Nick blinked up at her, clearly taking a moment to register what she had said. She didn't mind, and she tried to stay soft--no point in making Nick feel bad about it.

"Oh, that's okay," Chris said, and Jaz nuzzled her back into him, moving her hand a little higher up his thigh. Gods, she liked him--liked them all, really. Despite feeling a little ganged-up on earlier, it was really exciting to have three people she loved in her apartment.

Nick frowned a little and eventually sat up from his place in Jaz's lap, looking toward Jaz and Chris.

"Do we want to, like... talk about boundaries?"

Jaz raised the hand that wasn't squeezing Chris' leg and said, "Personally, I'm comfortable with just about anything," Jaz said with a mischievous smile, "but I feel very capable today of letting you know in the moment if that changes." Gods, touching Chris' leg felt so good. She squeezed and let go of it rhythmically a few more times.

"Do we want to, like... talk about boundaries?"

Chris blinked a little blankly at Nick for a moment, his heart pounding as it felt like something was slipping away from him, though he couldn't for the life of him say what.

"Personally," Jaz spoke up, raising one hand in the air as though volunteering for something, "I'm comfortable with just about anything, but I feel very capable today of letting you know in the moment if that changes."

Jaz squeezed his thigh with her other hand, and Chris realized she had moved her hand rather high on his leg. Nick's eyes tracked from Jaz to him, and he swallowed.

"Um... cuddling is okay...?" He said tentatively. "I'll, um... I mean, I can, uh, yeah, I'll let you know, if that's... not the case."

Gods, he must be absolutely beat-red. Nick rubbed a little bit at his hair, maybe contemplating. Chris was terrified that Nick was disappointed, or even upset, maybe. It seemed like there was some kind of ettiquette, at least between Nick and Jaz, that Chris felt very outside of. And, admittedly, Jaz's hand, while on some level wonderful, wasn't exactly helping his nerves.

"Don't let them intimidate you," Ren said as he calmly sidled through the doorway, one hand practicedly balancing a plate with four drinks on it and the other carrying the snack plate with fruit and cheese from the coffee table. He deftly knelt down on one knee to slide the fruit and cheese plate onto the edge of the bed, freeing up that hand to lift one of the glasses from the other plate and hold it out toward Nick, offering him a friendly smile.

Nick shyly accepted the drink from Ren, looking a little sheepish. Then Ren turned his gaze to Jaz and then Chris, and Chris gulped.

"Come grab your drinks and then let's draw cards, yeah?"

He picked up another glass from the plate and held it close to his chest, holding the plate out toward Jaz and Chris to offer them the other two.

Nick seemed to notice Jaz's hand on Chris' leg, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She would squeeze Nick's thigh, too, if it came to it.

"Um... cuddling is okay...?" Chris said, heavy with hesitation. "I'll, um... I mean, I can, uh, yeah, I'll let you know, if that's... not the case."

Jaz snuck a look back at Chris, and he was as red as could be. Maybe she was a little too hard on Nick. Forcing this conversation didn't seem to be going well. They had all agreed to come back here and cuddle already, right? Awfully vague. But, her time as a professional cuddler made consent feel... Gods, this didn't need to be so formal, right? It was just... how many times had another guy done that to her at a club? Ask after he had already done the fucking thing?

She shook it off. Surely no one could get mad at her for asking for a little more conscious consent, right?

"Don't let them intimidate you," Ren said. Jaz's head whipped around. She hadn't even heard Ren come in. That, and he was carrying not just the four drinks on a platter but had also brought in the cheese and fruit plate. Gods, Jaz had never realized Ren could be such a good host. And putting Chris at ease at the same time. Gods damn. She had really lucked out with him. He could call her a slut anytime.

Ren set the fruit and cheese plate on the edge of the bed, and Jaz clocked it. They were probably going to knock that right off before too long.

Jaz heard Chris gulp behind her.

"Come grab your drinks and then let's draw cards, yeah?" Jaz got up enough to grab a drink for each Chris and herself, settling back down between Chris' legs. Handing him a drink, she took a long sip and then looked at Ren.

"You know I'm already in love with you, right?" Jaz told him playfully with a glittering smile. Was she getting a little tipsy? The drink was delicious. "You keep outdoing yourself." She was beaming at him. Gods, she was so grateful. She was really going to pay for this later, wasn't she? Damn. And fuck yes.

"You know I'm already in love with you, right?" Jaz asked playfully, her smile glittering as she settled back in to snuggling against Chris. "You keep outdoing yourself."

Ren flashed her a cavalier smirk before setting the now empty drink plate down on the floor and scooping the cheese plate up, and then making his way onto the bed. While he'd contemplated keeping his boots on and stubbornly not joining the others on the bed, he wasn't sure he actually wanted to be that standoffish tonight. Instead, what he did was settle against some pillows next to Chris -- leaving a small but respectable distance between them, of course -- and stretch his legs out in front of him, crossing his ankles and resting the snack plate on his lap. Then, he took a sip of his drink, set it on a nearby mounted shelf, and popped a grape in his mouth, before finally turning his gaze back to Chris. The poor guy's face was red, his expression like a deer in headlights. On some level, Ren couldn't help feeling amused, maybe even gratified, by Chris' discombobulation, but, he was really trying to lean in to this polyamory thing. In that frame, tonight wasn't a competition for Jaz; it was a bonding exercise for all of them.

"What does it usually mean to you," he asked Chris gently, leaning in a little as though inviting Chris in on something, "to draw cards?"

---

Chris didn't know what to think of Ren sitting down next to him. He stared awkwardly at Ren, one hand holding the drink Jaz had passed to him, and the other resting against his leg on the other side of Jaz, gently running its thumb back and forth agaisnt her hip. She'd said out loud in front of everyone that she was in love with Ren, and he couldn't help the fact that his chest hurt about it. He was really fucking grateful that he and Jaz had said they loved each other before now, or it would have been even more painful to hear. Childishly, he wanted to somehow ask Jaz if she would proclaim being in love with him in front of Ren, but, he knew that wasn't helpful to any of them, so, he tried to just be okay with the pain in his chest. Surely it would pass.

"What does it usually mean to you, to draw cards?" Ren surprised Chris a little with the question, but, in a good way, probably. It was hard to tell, exactly, what felt good or bad right now... there was just, a lot, swirling around. Chris wondered if it would ever get less disorienting.

... Maybe he didn't need to drink more right this moment, come to think of it.

Gathering himself a bit, Chris reached to set his drink down on a nearby shelf, and then collected his deck of cards from the bed beside him, his eyes contemplating it along with his answer.

"I guess... it's sort of like... a touchpoint?" The pain in his chest shifted into a small, fluttering fear as he spoke. But, he tried to tell himself, even if Ren ultimately made fun of him for this... surely Jaz would have his back? "Like, it's something I put into play for the evening. If I'm not sure about something, I can return to it. Maybe it's kind of meditative, in some ways, I guess. I haven't really put any of this into words before, to be honest."

Mustering some courage, he lifted his eyes to Ren, who looked maybe a little uncertain, but overall attentive--curious, maybe, if with a shadow of worry.

"Have you... I mean... is this weird to you?" Chris asked.

Ren chuckled, a hint of surprise alighting his face, but bitterness darkened the tone of it. Chris furrowed his brow, the fear in his chest growing to a sharp buzz.

"It's not unfamiliar." Ren lowered his gaze to the fruit plate as he crossed his arms over his chest, though he kept a subtle smile on his face. Chris suspected it was a mask right now, but he tried not to begrudge Ren that. He waited patiently through the silent beat that Ren had left open, eager for him to finish the thought he'd left hanging in the air. "But it is uncomfortable, I'll be honest."

Chris's eyes studied the deck and Ren in turn, contemplating what to say. Some part of him wanted to ask why, but he suspected that would be intrusive. Instead, he settled on an offering.

"Well, it's okay with me if you don't want to draw a card. Or if you just want to share a memory and like, not have it in play, I guess? I definitely didn't mean to make anyone uncomfortable."

Ren pulled his eyes back up to Chris and offered a softer smile. "How about I go last and decide what I feel comfortable with then? I'd genuinely like the rest of you to do what you feel called to do." Then he touched eyes with Jaz and Nick before adding, "Sound good?"

Chris nodded, and also looked to Jaz and Nick, eager now to invite their thoughts.

((OOC: Nick would be very amenable to getting snuggly with Jaz again while Chris and Ren talk, but we weren't sure how he'd end up now that he's got a drink He'd be pretty suggestable if Jaz encourages him into any particular position, even just sitting close and touching knees or something. He's also happy to share his response pretty readily, but we figured Jaz might be even faster on the draw there.))