Written Wonderland

There seemed to be a moment of something like pensiveness in the silence that followed Ren's thank you, but then it dissipated, and Ren felt himself relax, his mind drifting into the night sky and its gentle haze of moonlight. The cool spray of a waterfall; the citrus scent of flowers... Ren felt puzzled for only a moment, until he realized that Jaz was sharing thoughts with him of her world. And then, she began to hum. A brief startle did jolt through him, but then he smiled. She wouldn't see, but perhaps she could feel it. He relaxed again and settled in, enjoying how her humming played with her strokes of the brush through his hair. This was quite nice, if he was being honest with himself. Her humming grew more full-bodied over time, exploring more of the soundscape. After some time, she began to fully sing.

Soothing sounds alight your brow
Tell me, do you feel better now?
Sweet time, deep time
Whispers across this heart of mine

She sang the refrain twice, and Ren dared to wonder about the nuance of intention behind the words. Some nervousness began to bloom again, but it settled as Jaz withdrew from his hair and walked around in front of him, placing the brush on the table and curiously searching his eyes. She was beautiful.

"Thank you," he said again, and offered Jaz a nod. He felt like he wanted to offer her more, but he wasn't sure what, exactly. Well, then he thought about tea.

"Will you set cups out?" He nodded to a set of shelves against the wall behind Jaz where she could find a small handful of dishes and other miscellaneous items, then he stood and collected the hairbrush, walking over to the drawer by his bed and returning it to its place. Then, he walked to the cabinet where he'd collected the jug of water earlier, and pulled out a jar and some strainers off a shelf.

"I haven't shared this tea with anyone before," he said as he set the jar down on the table and placed the strainers into the cups Jaz had fetched*. His chest tightened, surprised by his own impulse to share, but he tried to relax it. Sharing was the whole point, here. "Except Monica. Well, she shared it with me, really."

He was quiet with reverence as he opened the jar and pulled a spoon from within it to scoop some of the jar's contents into each of the strainers. Then, he returned the spoon to the jar, and the jar to the cabinet, and finally he brought the water from the stove over to pour it into the cups. As he went through this little ritual, he felt he began to understand something new about Monica's gentle chide that welcoming guests is a part of having a home.

((OOC: * obvs made an assumption here - it wasn't even a command, so Jaz didn't have to do it lol. Let us know if for whatever reason Jaz did not in fact set the cups out?))

Jaz felt content, light, airy--dare she say smoky, even. Her facial features were soft and delicate in the afterglow as she searched Ren's eyes, curious.

"Thank you," he said quietly and nodded to her. He seemed to search for something--whether inside himself or the cottage, she didn't know--before his eyes landed on the hot water. And then, still softly, he asked, "Will you set the cups out?" He nodded toward some shelves that held a few vessels, and Jaz followed his gesture, potently aware that he had not commanded her. Still, she felt... open. Gaping. Like she had made herself vulnerable and wasn't quite sure how it had landed. Had she been wrong to sing? She couldn't tell.

Unsure of herself, Jaz turned the cups in her hand, their rough earthenware much like the pottery her own people made, if somewhat less decorative. She smiled to herself. Maybe they weren't all that different, after all. She set the cups and their accompanying saucers on the table--the very same table where Ren had interrogated her earlier in the day. So much had happened. She had seen and learned a hundred different customs. She had traded away three of her stones. And she had gained tentative allies.

"I haven't shared this tea with anyone before," Ren said as he set a jar of dried leaves and flowers down on the table near her. He also placed strainers in the cups Jaz had set out. "Except Monica. Well, she shared it with me, really." Jaz tilted her head, wondering the full depth of what Monica and Ren had shared. They had probably been lovers, once, Jaz decided, but she didn't think that was still the case. A shame, really. Jaz enjoyed both of them very much. Perhaps there was an opportunity for repair or further deepening. Time would tell.

For now, Jaz was curious about the smells coming from the jar. Ren was carefully measuring out a portion into each of their cups, and the subtly sweet floral smell quickly filled the small cottage. Jaz was grateful for the steam and the warmth, the fire and the company. She glanced casually at her skin--a bright and healthy blue. Gods, she was happy. Far from home but happy all the same. What a wonder this day had been. What novelty she was encountering.

She felt a bloom of gratitude in her chest for Ren, and she brought her hands there, almost prepared to offer him a magical gesture of some kind. But, on second thought, she didn't want to startle him. She just wanted to share tea with this new companion for as long as he would allow her to stay.

Jaz waited and watched as Ren put the jar away in the cabinet and brought water from the stove, pouring it with a practiced hand. Taking a seat, Jaz waited only long enough for Ren to finish before she slid her own cup and saucer closer to herself. She grasped the heat of the earthen cup with a pleasant sigh, bringing the concoction to her lips and nostrils to fully take in the scent of the green leaves mixed with white and yellow flowers. It would need to steep still, she knew--that much likely did not change from realm to realm--but she was eager for the heat to warm the insides of her body, almost like fire itself.

Setting the cup down again to wait, Jaz looked over at Ren, her cheeks flushed with a deeper blue.

"I'm honored."

Ren hesitated briefly after he finished pouring the water. Normally he'd set the pot down on the table--the better to pour himself a refill--but the table was a bit small for that with two people sat at it. They could make it work, certainly, but he didn't want a crowded feeling while drinking tea. He frowned a little, feeling a bit sheepish about having not thought these logistics through.

Jaz seemed quite content, though--she placed her hands on her cup and even raised it to her lips, though she didn't drink--just enjoyed the warmth in her palms and her face and her lungs. That relaxed Ren to see. Finally, he turned to set the pot down on the counter by the stove, shaking his head a little at himself.

“I’m honored,” Jaz said as Ren returned to his stool at the table, her eyes meeting his. He smiled softly, his own eyes casting down to his tea, perhaps a touch bashful. Then he indulged in his own moment with the warmth and the aroma of the tea, letting the scent swirl within him as he contemplated what else he wanted to share with Jaz about it. After a moment, he set his cup back down and looked to Jaz, hesitating before he spoke.

“It was a housewarming gift, of sorts. Monica put it together with some help from others in the village. It…” he trailed off, snagging on something, but curled a bit of a sheepish grin. “Makes me feel at home.”

Jaz liked the way Ren smiled down into his cup of tea. He soon picked it up and enjoyed the steam himself, making Jaz wonder what the human relationship to steam and air and smoke was, exactly. She was grateful that humans, too, liked having fire around.

Not so foreign as she might have thought, it seemed.

Ren looked at Jaz, lingering on her face before he spoke.

“It was a housewarming gift, of sorts. Monica put it together with some help from others in the village. It…” he paused, his lips curling into what looked like a slightly apologetic grin, “...makes me feel at home.”

Jaz nodded, taking another smell of the steam. She wondered how long it would take a place like this to feel like home to her.

"She seems like a good friend," Jaz said, leaving the door open for him to elaborate. "She's holding quite a lot of the community together, it seems."

"She seems like a good friend," Jaz said. "She's holding quite a lot of the community together, it seems."

Ren let out a breath hinting at a chuckle.

"That does seem to be her calling." He was quiet for a moment, watching the subtle ripples in his tea and contemplating what else he wanted to say. "Sometimes, I'm not entirely convinced she's not Sankera herself."

His voice held some levity when he said it, but then he thought of the weight and warmth of the cloak he had felt earlier, echoed in the warmth of the tea through the glass in his hands. Maybe Monica just... wore that cloak, more often than not. Maybe anyone could--even Ren.

He lifted his eyes back to Jaz, his gaze gentle and contemplative. Then, a light, mischievous smile crossed his expression.

"Ask me something you'd like to know more about," he playfully commanded, chancing that Jaz would enjoy this use of the agreement they'd discussed.

Ren's long, occasionally clipped exhale sounded a little like a laugh, and Jaz was pleased.

"That does seem to be her calling." Ren looked down at his tea, and Jaz did similar, picking the cup up to taste it cautiously. Not too hot for her, she decided, as she swallowed some of the subtle sweetness of this realm's flowers. "Sometimes, I'm not entirely convinced she's not Sankera herself."

Jaz set her cup down, swallowing again with a lazy smile as she mulled over what Ren had said. What would it mean to be that fully the embodiment of a goddess? What would it mean to be that fully an embodiment of Dehaljadrun? Jaz did not fully understand the shiver that shook through her at the thought--she simply let it happen.

Refocusing on Ren, Jaz was startled to see an angled grin on his face, the expression almost sinister.

"Ask me something you'd like to know more about," he commanded, a playful tone in his voice.

Immediately, a quiet but unmistakable ringing began in Jaz's ears, something she knew would only continue to grow louder the longer she resisted. He had commanded her. But that meant... that she could ask him a question.

Gods damn him--she should get to ask two, then. She tucked that thought in the back of her mind, knowing she needed to come up with a decent question before the ringing in her ears got louder and led to other consequences. Once that started happening, she would miss what was otherwise an opportunity, even if it was a twisted sort of offering.

Jaz unconsciously gripped the edges of the table with her fingers, closed her eyes, and set her jaw, beginning already to feel lightheaded. She wondered briefly what would happen if she continued to disobey and delay--would it drain her magic again? She spared a quick glance down at her hands--no, they were still fully blue and did not appear to be fading. Perhaps this worked on some other mechanism.

A question, damn you, she reminded herself as the ringing did, indeed, grow louder. Now, too, the dizziness was met with a tugging sensation at the base of her neck and spine. It wasn't painful, not yet, but she suspected it would soon become so.

She allowed her mind to flail over what Ren had offered her of his story so far. Not much, she thought, and she had the sensation that she was traversing a minefield in trying to choose the right thread to tug at.

As the dizziness mounted, as the ringing and tugging intensified, Jaz gripped the wood of the table more tightly, finally dropping any pretense of strategy and just letting whatever words form as they would.

Quietly, slowly, she said, with eyes still closed, "You said... most touch." Not a question, Jaz, she scolded herself, and indeed, the sensations did not let up. "Most touch felt wrong, where you came from." She opened her eyes, looking at Ren, wondering how much he could see of the turmoil he had caused within her. At least she knew where she was going now. "What touch feels right?"

Immediately, the sensations stopped. The dizziness and ringing and tugging gone as though something had suddenly released her. The relief she felt was immense, coursing through her body and her blood, deepening her color. Her fingers loosened on the table, and she blinked slowly, eyes rolling slightly from the sudden change, trying and failing to hide the pleasure that came with finally obeying his command.

((OOC: We are imagining that she's only resisting for a minute or so, but it has an effect.))

Ren grew a little worried as Jaz gripped at the edge of the table, setting her jaw. Was this... painful for her, then? She opened her eyes briefly to look down at her hands, perhaps checking their color. Maybe she was just seeing what resisting a command would do? Ren hoped that was the case; he hadn't intended to harm her with this, quite the opposite. When she closed her eyes again and gripped the table tighter, Ren began to contemplate releasing her from the command, but he held out long enough for her to begin to speak.

"You said... most touch. Most touch felt wrong, where you came from." She opened her eyes, looking at Ren, her expression more full of turmoil than he'd wished. He drew together his brows, hoping she could see compassion and regret in his expression. He would be more careful with this from now on. "What touch feels right?"

He swallowed, his eyes looking back down to his tea as memories danced through his mind. He knew he could not be angry with her for the question, and truly he wasn't, but that didn't mean it was easy to answer.

"It's easier when... things are clear," he finally spoke. "When expectations are plain. One person simply brushing another's hair," he offered a brief glance up toward Jaz, eyebrows hopeful, but he felt too bashful to hold the gaze. "Or, even... two people climbing into bed together, knowing that one will leave after, and the other will stay behind. It's more difficult when..." His eyebrows drew together with a hint of consternation as he stumbled over conflicting examples that came to mind. "... there is ambiguity. Uncertainty around the edges."

Jaz was breathing more heavily than she would have liked, but it was quickly slowing to a more natural pace. Ren seemed utterly oblivious, however. Her question must have hit him hard. He looked down at his tea, swallowing as though he was nervous. But not angry, she noted.

"It's easier when... things are clear," he said when he finally spoke. "When expectations are plain. One person simply brushing another's hair..." At this, he looked up at Jaz, eyebrows raised in what looked like a plea, but he didn't hold it for long. "Or, even... two people climbing into bed together, knowing that one will leave after, and the other will stay behind. It's more difficult when..." His eyebrows drew together, and she was moved by how much honest thought he was putting into this. At least his offer had been genuine. "...there is ambiguity. Uncertainty around the edges."

Jaz didn't know what to say. Had brushing Ren's hair been clear? simple? contained? Not really, if she understood his definition. Not to her, at least. Her shoulders dropped slightly, sagging a little, and she looked down and to one corner of the table. Other than that, it was difficult for her to make heads or tails of what Ren said. The djinn were a close-knit people. There was nowhere to leave, unless they were leaving for their sorala, and no one wanted to touch someone about to leave on their sorala. And, up until and after that point, everything the djinn did was part of the community.

And yet, there had been times when groups of lovers had been splintered or jostled by disagreements or miscommunications, even if most of them did get worked back out. Perhaps these were far more likely amongst the humans when they were all so spread out. All too easy for them to leave each other. Plenty of places for them to go. The thought saddened Jaz. It felt lonely. But then again, here Ren was, living somewhat happily alone, all by himself.

She did not have to like his answer, she reasoned, he just needed to be honest. And she was trying to get to know him, even if her question had been somewhat under duress.

Jaz nearly reached across the table to comfort Ren, but she stopped herself a quarter of the way there, realizing that might be the exact kind of complicated he didn't want. Withdrawing her hand back to her tea, she raised her eyebrows briefly, looking out toward the window, and said, "Second question." At this, she snapped her head in Ren's direction, her own smile mischievous this time. "What do you have against the goddess Dehaljadrun?"

It was a gamble in more ways than one. Their agreement had been touch, an answer to a question, or release if he had accidentally commanded her. Jaz didn't think his recent command had been an accident, but she wasn't about to let him off the hook on a technicality. He'd have to figure that much out for himself. Touch seemed off the table at the moment, and he couldn't release her from the command now, so... this only felt fair.

Jaz was quiet for a moment, and Ren nervously raised his gaze to her, uncertain what her silence meant. She started to reach toward him, and he tensed instinctively, but she drew her hand back quickly to her tea. Which, absolutely confoundingly, Ren found that he lamented. Should he reach his hand out to her, then?

"Second question." Jaz interrupted the thought, meeting Ren's gaze with her own mischievous grin. Well, fair enough, he supposed. In fact, he was grateful--it eased something about the turmoil he had seen in her eyes--though he swallowed nervously about the next question, given where the first had started.

"What do you have against the goddess Dehaljadrun?"

Ren blinked, at first surprised by the direction. This time, he did not lower his eyes to his tea, but kept his gaze on Jaz as he contemplated. He wanted to be honest with her, but not harsh, if he could help it. She was a guest in his home, and to some degree, that meant that her goddess was, also, however much the thought chilled him.

"The kindest stories I have heard about her are lustful tales--fantasies. That she would visit to bring pleasure in the night." At that, Ren's eyes did flicker away, over toward the stove, absently, his expression flinching subtly. He was not prepared to explain to Jaz why he in particular did not take kindly to visits in the night. He brought his eyes back to Jaz, hoping to move past the moment quickly.

"Most stories are not so kind. She is regarded by most as dangerous, if they know of her at all."

He watched Jaz with a somber expression, attentive to how that landed.

Ren blinked quickly--one of the first expressions of explicit surprise she had seen in him--but he kept his gaze on her. Her grin softened as she enjoyed his attention.

"The kindest stories I have heard about her are lustful tales--fantasies. That she would visit to bring pleasure in the night." Finally, Ren did break eye contact with her, much to her dismay. That he flinched fully alerted her to his darkening mood. This wasn't a comfortable subject for him either.

His gaze returned quickly, though, and her eyes widened.

"Most stories are not so kind. She is regarded by most as dangerous, if they know of her at all."

Stoically, Ren searched her face. Jaz took a deep breath, thinking. To buy time, she took another sweet swallow from her tea, closing her eyes as she did so. Not her goddess' flowers, but beautiful all the same.

She wanted to ask a follow-up question, but she thought she had already exceeded her limit, at least as much as it related to prying into Ren's personal life.

Then, Jaz giggled a little, thinking to herself that humans seemed largely afraid of having fun, of enjoying each other. No wonder Ren had left the temple room in such a hurry.

Most touch, for humans, is... extremely intimate, she remembered Ren saying. She felt like she had a better sense of why now, or at least, the degree. Then again, if two people climbed into bed together...

So maybe, at least for Ren, it wasn't exactly the touch itself, just the... relationship implied by the touch.

But he didn't want the goddess of dreams to visit him? Even if she would leave him afterward?

There was still much she didn't understand.

Quietly, recovering quickly from her earlier laughter with a soft, sober expression, she looked back up to Ren and asked, "Would you like to know what I know of her?"