Written Wonderland

"No," Jaz said, admittedly confusing Ren, but her voice contained a playful lilt, complimenting her smile. So Ren just let a touch of skepticism enter his expression. Jaz looked down to the table, shrugging in a way that accentuated her collar bone before drawing her gaze back up to Ren. "Not until tonight." Satisfaction settled into Ren's chest, along with a fresh sort of hunger.

His lips started to form Tell me--for him, a playful interjection--but he stopped himself before accidentally issuing a command. He let out a near-silent airy chuckle at himself, and started again.

"What is different about tonight?"

He could certainly form guesses, but he didn't want to guess about something like this. He wanted to be sure, and besides, he wanted to hear the words on Jaz's lips.

Ren's expression softened and warmed once he'd heard her full response before his features sharpened subtly with what Jaz thought was intrigue. He was enjoying this as much as she was--she was certain of it.

Jaz thought Ren might outright command her again then and there, but he had more composure than she had given him credit for. Instead, he chuckled silently. Under the table, Jaz crossed her feet and slowly rubbed her ankles together to work out some of her tension and excitement.

"What is different about tonight?" The words fell soft on Jaz's ears, and she barely contained a shiver of excitement. This was going well, she thought.

She let go of her mug, opening her palms in gesture on the table.

There was so much she could say. He had made her feel safe and leveled the playing field. He had made a game out of what otherwise might have been an abuse of power. But Jaz knew that wasn't the whole of it, nor likely what Ren was fishing for now.

She wanted to touch him--words simply weren't going to do this justice. And yet...

"Trust," she said simply, looking down as the consonants lingering pleasantly in her ears. Softly, lazily, she drew a wavy line with her pointer finger across the table. "And curiosity," she added, meeting Ren's gaze seriously, though there was still a smile in the set of her eyes. Quietly, she spoke again, "The enormity of my relief when I stopped resisting was... unexpected."

If only you had seen that, too, she thought, somewhat conflicted.

Jaz let go of her mug, opening her palms in a gesture on the table as she thought.

"Trust," she finally said, disarming Ren a little. It made sense, of course, but somehow it was not the reply he'd expected. Perhaps, too, there was a degree of humor in it--would Sankera also approve of the game they were playing now? He wasn't sure, though he supposed he at least believed she would not find it altogether disagreeable.

Jaz's finger drew Ren's attention as it softly, lazily, drew a wavy line across the wood. "And curiosity," she added, and Ren returned his eyes to hers. Quietly, she spoke again, "The enormity of my relief when I stopped resisting was... unexpected."

Ren stopped playing with his mug, and set his own hand palm-up in the table, a mischievious grin lighting his expression.

"Touch my hand."

Of course, he hoped that she would resist, first, but that part didn't seem like something he could command--or, perhaps he didn't want to. He wanted to see what she would choose to do, within the command he had issued.

Ren placed his mug back down properly on its saucer and put his palm up in front of Jaz on the table with another one of his grins. A shock of excitement pulsed through Jaz's throat and belly.

"Touch my hand."

Another bolt of electricity shot through her scalp at the moment of Ren's command, startling her even though she felt it coming. She looked at him with wide-eyed, open-mouthed shock for a moment, her urge to do exactly that exacerbated dramatically. Her own hands tingled where they rested on the table, but she did not move them, closing her eyes to feel more deeply into the sensations of disobedience that quickly joined the cacophony.

Gods, it was so much harder to resist when she already wanted what he commanded her to do. Heat flared from the depths of her as she continued resisting anyway, causing her to shift more obviously in her stool. The ringing in her ears began, and she tilted her head back to meet it. Soon, the tugging at the base of her neck and her spine returned, causing her to straighten her posture. She swayed gently, trying to meet the discomfort as it increased, curious what it would feel like to push it further than she had the first time. How far could she go, she wondered? How far did he want her to go?

The resistance itself wasn't a command, she knew, and yet, his interest was plain. She didn't need to look at him to see it. He wasn't going to miss whatever happened afterward this time--she had made certain of that.

Her hand twitched and inched closer of its own accord, but she pushed it slightly into the table to prevent it from moving. She didn't think she would be able to hear Ren's voice if he were speaking now, through the ringing. And the tugging in both directions of her spine edged toward painful. Opening her eyes, Jaz stared at Ren's palm with obvious lust, lips parted as she breathed heavily. Finally, she brought her hand to hover just over Ren's, managing to hold it there through its own wavering just long enough to meet his gaze, a plea in her face. And then, as the ringing and the tugging kicked up another notch, Jaz closed her eyes and relented, allowing her hand to fall toward his, grasping around the meat of his palm and his thumb, squeezing and massaging fiercely as an outpour of sensations flooded through them both.

Immense satisfaction, a deep inhale of breath, a crashing wave of blood released into previously constricted veins.

Jaz didn't want to stop at his hand--she wanted more of him as tangled up with her as they could be, and she couldn't hide it, not now while they were touching. She looked up at him, still massaging and pressing into his thumb and the back of his hand, and brought her other hand to join in, kneading and sharing everything she felt.

Warmth in the depth of her belly, pleasure in the rolling back of her eyes, excitement as dizziness made her feel giddy and playful.

With an effort, Jaz offered a few lingering strokes to Ren's fingers with each of her own and finally, slowly, withdrew, chest heaving. She looked up at him, eyes wide and slightly afraid. She wanted him to know she still had control of herself.

Jaz gaped at Ren in the wake of his command, her eyes wide and mouth ajar with shock. Ren was amused; was she really so surprised?

She closed her eyes a moment later, and a moment after that she shifted subtly in her stool. Ren felt warmth spark in his belly. He watched enrapt as Jaz tilted her head back, her posture straightening. He was hungry to know what she felt, his open palm tingling with anticipation.

Jaz swayed, and for a single jolt, the worry crossed Ren's mind that she might pass out--but, surey she would give in to the command before something like that happened? He supposed he could release her, if he got worried, but for the time being Jaz still seemed stable enough, and he was resolved to see it through at least a little bit further.

He was rewarded with the sight of her fingers twitching forward, perhaps of their own accord, before Jaz pressed them defiantly down on the table. She even managed to open her eyes, her gaze falling on Ren's hand. Gods, Ren could confidently say that no one had ever looked at his hand with such lust. He had never felt so powerful--and that both elated, and scared him.

Jaz breathed heavily, and finally lifted a hand to hover above Ren's, and he could nearly swear he felt tiny pricks of connection, almost like they were touching through the air. A bit of wryness entered his grin as he wondered how Veil might feel about all this, but he pushed the thought aside, growing tired of bringing gods into this. Perhaps it was just his own anticipation, anyway. Jaz met his eyes with what looked like a plea, though he didn't know what for--she had her command, and she was the one resisting it. Surely she didn't want him to release her from it now.

At last, Jaz closed her eyes and pressed her palm down over Ren's, and sensation flooded through him, anticipation and longing overtaken by a crashing wave of satisfaction and flowing relief. He shuddered, his own breath trembling as Jaz's fingers massaged around his thumb and the back of his hand, yearning for yet more of his skin, for limbs to be tangled up in one other. He felt fire rise in both of their bellies, relished in the ways that Jaz let her eyes roll back, and then, just as Ren was beginning to worry about his own fantasies and impulses that he tried to hold at bay, Jaz began to withdraw, softening the sensations that he felt through her as her fingers stroked gently down his, and then broke contact.

Ren looked at Jaz with some surprise--he felt impressed, to be honest. And grateful. Her chest heaved, her eyes wide and--afraid?

Ren realized he was a little short of breath himself, his cheeks warm--his groin, pulsing. Embarrassment bloomed, but he reminded himself that Jaz couldn't presently see that last bit, and he could probably calm himself in short order. He returned both hands to his mug and offered Jaz a somewhat sheepish smile as he gently caught his breath along with her.

After a long enough moment had passed that he felt confident they both hand at least a little bit of grounding, he asked, "Would you like to ask me a question?"

For a moment, they just looked at each other, both of them--absurdly--breathing heavily. Ren's cheeks were flushed, and eventually he returned his hands to his mug. She didn't think she had ever been so envious of an inanimate object. Ren smiled subtly at Jaz in an expression she wasn't sure she recognized. Gods, she could do without the table in the way right now.

It was a long while before she could calm her breathing and tear her eyes from Ren, but at last, she did, grasping her own tea and taking a long swallow, nearly finishing it. When else had she felt so exerted by touching someone's hand? She could not help but think of earlier in the day when she and Ren had only touched their smallest fingers together. Quickly, though, she had to banish the thought lest her breathing quicken again.

Setting her mug back down, she braved another look at Ren, wondering what came next after all that.

"Would you like to ask me a question?"

Jaz couldn't help it--she looked toward the stove and laughed, a quiet, airy giggle, her eyebrows raised momentarily in amusement. She had forgotten.

When she returned her gaze to Ren, Jaz had her lips pressed together, one corner of her bottom lip between her teeth.

Absently, as she thought about her options, she pulled on a lock of hair near the back of her scalp, twisting it hard enough to help her get a grip on herself. She closed her eyes and opened them again.

She searched Ren's face, trying to gage him. Oh, she wanted to push her luck, desperately. But she also wasn't planning on leaving tomorrow.

At last, she said, quietly, still a little breathless, "that command wasn't an accident." If they were going to keep experimenting with this, she didn't want him to feel like he owed her every time he did it. In her mind, he was already doing her a favor.

But also...

"Is there... more hot water?"

Jaz turned her head aside and laughed, and Ren hoped that was a good sign. Certainly, it reassured whatever part of himself couldn't fully trust the strangeness of feeling her emotions through touch, that she was not upset about being issued another command.

She returned her gaze to Ren, biting her lip and rubbing her hair in thought, and Ren wondered what questions she mulled over. His money was on a flirtation, which he was nervous about, but cautiously open to, certainly where simple questions and answers were concerned at this point.

"That command wasn't an accident," she finally said, still a bit breathless. Ren was confused for a moment--was that her question? But, no, it was a statement, as though--as though she didn't want him to owe her. At least, not this time. Interesting. He appreciated that, as the understanding sank in--it was one thing when he issued commands without thinking, or even when he pushed his luck, but perhaps another altogether when they were running good-faith experiments together. He was glad that that's how she felt.

She waited just long enough for his comprehension to sink in, and then asked, "Is there... more hot water?"

Ren let out a soft chuckle and rose from the table, downing the rest of his tea while standing before setting his cup back down. Then he collected the pot from the counter and brought it back to the table, pausing just long enough to share a glance with Jaz--a quick, nonverbal check-in that she did indeed want more hot water, and wasn't just oddly asking about it--before he began to pour.

Ren looked puzzled and then mildly surprised at her answer, but Jaz trusted that he would come to understand her reasoning and appreciate it. She wanted to set a good foundation for their interactions here--she honestly had no idea how long she would be staying for. If she gave him the space he needed, perhaps he would still come around eventually.

It certainly wasn't Jaz's typical approach to indicating interest, but she was here to have an adventure, and that meant trying a great many new things.

Ren chuckled before he rose from the table and downed the rest of his tea. Setting his mug down, he retrieved the pot and brought it near Jaz's mug, pausing to look at her before he poured. She nodded and said, "Thank you."

He then poured some for himself and returned the pot to the counter, coming shortly afterward to sit back down. Jaz looked down and grasped her freshly warm mug in both hands, trying to control her smile, but it was flooding onto her face.

"I have quite a lot to thank you for," she finally added, warmth still diffuse throughout her body.

Jaz thanked him, and Ren nodded as he poured more water into his cup as well. When he sat back down, she was smiling ear to ear into her cup, and Ren was glad to see it.

"I have quite a lot to thank you for," she added.

Ren was quiet for a moment, not entirely sure how to respond.

"You're welcome," he said at last, though it felt... flimsy. "I've just done what I've felt was right." That felt better, but even that was perhaps not entirely true. Was it 'right' of him to play with his ability to command her? He allowed himself a small, sheepish grin, and added, "Or fun, I guess."

Ren was quiet, contemplative, and at last said, "You're welcome."

She nodded, her smile becoming more manageable, but he kept talking. "I've just done what I've felt was right." After a moment, he gave her half a grin and added, "Or fun, I guess."

While Jaz was fair to confident that Ren had been enjoying himself, his statement allayed any remaining fears she might have.

She nodded, smiling, taking a sip of her newly warmed tea. Jaz didn't want to leave. She looked at the window where she could just make out the tent and the way the wind blew through the trees, and her expression leveled out, back to neutral. The warmth of the fire called to her, and going out there alone without it sounded miserable no matter how many blankets she had. But she didn't want to make Ren feel trapped with her here. They were going to have to make this work long term, or at least until she figured out where to go next.

Jaz looked at Ren, her features warming again. She would like to come around the table and massage his shoulders to properly thank him for all he'd done, but he had seemed so nervous even letting her brush his hair. No, she thought she had better let Ren make the next escalation if he was going to.

She fiddled with her fingers as they touched each other around her mug, looking down at them a moment.

"Did you say there were other people who lived out here who might... know about... other beings who might have come out from this part of the forest?"