Written Wonderland

By the time Ren finished taking off his boots, Jaz was looking at him with uncertainty. Fair enough, though he tensed with some embarassment. He moved smoothly enough from there, though, pushing himself to his feet and crossing past Jaz's blankets to his dresser by his bed. He was still careful not to step on the blankets, but he nonetheless took comfort that a socked misstep would feel less egregious than a booted one.

His mind stumbled through a few different ways to give her direction from there, trying not to make a command out of any of it. Would 'please' be enough to render something choosable for her? He wasn't sure, and, at present, he didn't really want to experiment.

"I will keep my back to you while I change," he said, "And I would appreciate if you'd keep your back to me and change at the same time. We can say when we're each done."

This felt some parts absurd, but he wanted to be clear in how he'd like this to go, while still offering her autonomy in the doing. He met her gaze with a softened expression, eyebrows gently furrowed, perhaps a light dash of pleading in his eyes. He would not enjoy if she teased him in this, and yet, the possibility for it felt enormous. Even so, he did not want to command her just for fear of how she might behave.

Ren recognized that she seemed to be waiting for him. He crossed the room toward his bed, careful to avoid her blanket pile, before he spoke.

"I will keep my back to you while I change," he said, "And I would appreciate if you'd keep your back to me and change at the same time. We can say when we're each done."

He looked unamused, though the furrow in Ren's brows did give Jaz the tiniest desire to laugh. She was too tired, however, and admittedly, still somewhat shaken by the quickly changing color of her own skin. And, she did not want to sleep outside.

She nodded and politely turned around, allowing a few seconds to elapse before she pulled the leggings out from under her dress and folded them neatly near her pack. She then slid the dress off, folded it, basked for a short moment in the firelight directly on her torso, and then pulled the fresh, thinner dress over herself. It was a soft, pastel linen that several elders had taught her to make, and she was proud of it. It hung closely to the curves of her body and managed to offer some warmth, though it was not nearly as warm as her other fur-lined dress.

Jaz almost looked over her shoulder out of simple forgetfulness before she caught herself, staunchly facing away.

"Okay," she said to the wall. "I'm finished."

How strange this procedure was. Did everyone do this before bed or was this specific to Ren? She hoped she would have the opportunity to find out.

Jaz nodded and turned around. Ren looked on for an awkward moment--waiting for something? He didn't know what. Then Jaz began to take off the leggings under her dress, and Ren turned himself right around, cheeks warming. He blinked at his dresser, and then opened drawers to fish out soft pants and a shirt to change into. He couldn't help pausing his movements as he went through them, taking time to listen intently to Jaz's. He wasn't sure what he was listening for exactly, but even so, his nerves demanded it, perhaps simply continually surprised to be hearing someone else rustle around in his cabin behind him.

"Okay," Jaz said, "I'm finished."

Ren was quiet--he almost said 'okay' in acknowledgement, but realized Jaz might construe that as 'done'. Which, wouldn't be the worst--he had at least gotten his pants on--but, he held his tongue long enough to also get his shirt slipped on over his head, first.

"Okay," he said a little haltingly after his brief pause, hands still smoothing out the fabric of his shirt as he pivoted around to face Jaz, perhaps a bit eager now to no longer have her at his back. His eyes couldn't help gving her new outfit a once-over--checking in on her skin, too. He felt really damn awkward, but also... well, maybe he didn't want to try to go to sleep in this awkwardness, especially not when he felt fairly confident there was a way out of it.

Tentatively, Ren stepped closer to Jaz, his hands outstretched slightly, palms up toward her in offering. She would likely feel his anxiety, he knew, but he would also offer gratitude, welcome, and trust. They had covered quite a lot of ground with each other today, and they both deserved a good night's sleep.

Jaz blinked, looking at the ground and listening to the way Ren moved, the soft slide of clothing over the skin of his chest. She closed her eyes, a deep ache forming and almost causing a shiver through her.

"Okay," he said, his voice breathy. She heard his hands move down his shirt, the fabric sliding off itself. Jaz inhaled quickly.

Slowly, Jaz turned back around, biting the inside of her lip slightly, eyes wide.

His clothing was plain, though it looked soft to the touch. Her fingers shuffled against the fabric of her own dress.

Ren took a step closer to Jaz, his face impassive. Her chest flooded with excitement. He outstretched his hands in her direction, and she felt an invitation from him.

But what kind of invitation?

He had been so tentative with her before. One finger, a hand. But with both his palms outstretched her direction, a full embrace felt more natural. Jaz felt compelled in that direction, taking half a step toward him. She was still slow, though, still careful. She did not take her gaze off his face as she walked a little closer, not touching his arms or hands but still inside of his personal space. Then, relaxing into it, she closed her eyes, feeling the buzzing temptation of touch in all directions as she silently gave him permission to explore.

Ren's anxiety mounted when Jaz stepped forward, close enough he thought she might embrace him. That had not been the invitation he'd meant to issue, and he stiffened subtly, though he did not find it in himself to pull away. Perhaps…he might in fact enjoy a hug. It warmed his chest to think of it, but it also sent buzzing ripples through his stomach, like looking down over a cliff.

She did not touch him, though. She kept her gaze on his for a moment, and then closed her eyes... her whole body on offer, Ren thought. The heat in his chest bellowed through the rest of his body, and he swallowed to steady the sensation. He couldn't help remembering how it had felt when Jaz had resisted touching him before--resisted following his command--and then finally gave in. He couldn't help turning over thoughts in his mind of what command he might give her now to induce a similar experience for them both to relish in together.

But was that wise?

Ren closed his own eyes briefly as he quietly sighed out a deep breath, trying to empty his mind and seek clarity about what he actually wanted here. He wanted them both to feel draped in the warmth of Sankera's cloak, not... what, Dehaljadrun's presence?

Could you feel them both?

A shiver skurried down Ren's spine as the thought crossed his mind, almost not feeling like his own. It spooked him a little, and he glanced over his shoulder--just his dresser behind him, of course. He shook his head as he returned his gaze to Jaz, still standing right in front of him, skin literally hungry for touch. And, wasn't Ren's also, on some level, if he just let himself feel it?

Tentatively, Ren closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around Jaz, gently pressing against her back to guide her body against his. He had shared some precious hugs with Monica, and others throughout his life, and he summoned the open, grateful feeling he could remember in each of them. Oh, other thoughts were also present--the curious, sensual body pressed against his; the tenuous buzz of standing on the edge of a cliff; the subtle dizziness of circumstances feeling out of control. But he anchored himself like he had in the meadow, sighed a cleansing exhale, and hugged Jaz just a little tighter.

Jaz waited, eyes closed, uncertain of how Ren would respond. But he didn't step away. She kept waiting, and soon she began to suspect that he was intentionally torturing her. If he was going to say no, he should just tell her, right? Not let her hover near him?

But, no... it felt good to be in this proximity with him. Even if her skin hungered. Even if he wasn't going to touch her at all. It was so different than any of her fellow djinn had ever treated her, and she was fascinated.

She heard Ren moving--stepping closer, maybe. She heard the rustle of his clothing as his arms moved, his body heat shifting in her direction. Was he truly going to embrace her?

Ecstatic, she experienced a flurry of thought all at once, and suddenly became concerned about what he would see when he touched her. She didn't want to scare him away. She wanted to thank him.

Then think about nothing other the touch itself. The thought suddenly stilled all other activity in her mind. In the fresh internal silence, Jaz leaned in toward Ren slightly and quickly met his body as his arms wrapped around her. Instantaneously, she felt her stomach drop with immense excitement--mine or his?--as Ren connected with her. It didn't matter. Gently, she invited that excitement into the sensation of the touch itself--Ren's warm palms against the light fabric of her dress, the loamy smell of the forest they had walked through together, the press of her cheek against his collarbone, her head nestled under his chin.

He sighed, and with it, his torso relaxed, though his grip around her tightened. Jaz's gratitude and excitement flared again, and she welcomed that energy smoothly into the experience as well, weaving it pleasantly into the way her own hands had reached around Ren, subtly kneading the muscles of his lower back.

Jaz was radiating gratitude and excitement, her body warm and soft pressed against his. She wrapped her arms around him, fingers kneading into his back, and he felt gratitude, also. She thought of the forest between his cottage and the village--or he did, but in either case, he could feel her affection for it. Her cheek pressed against his collar bone, and his chin gently pressed into her hair.

"You've done so much today," he said after a moment, the words soft as they spilled from his lips. He felt a flare of embarassment once he'd said them--what had possessed him to? But, what he said was true. He felt for all she had been through, and she really had done quite well in this new place with new people and customs. On some level, he was glad to have her under his wing. He hesitated a moment, but ultimately added, "You should be proud." Here was hoping it wouldn't be out of line for him to say.

It was peaceful, being with Ren this way, with his chin gently pressed against the top of her head. Jaz was grateful that he didn't make any move to disentangle just yet, and she kept pressing on his low back, slowly pulling his muscles away from where they bunched and tensed against his spine.

"You've done so much today," Ren said, and behind her eyes, she felt a flush of color--embarrassment, maybe, although she didn't fully understand why. But she could also feel the truth of his words--he was impressed with her. "You should be proud," he ultimately added. A thrill made its way through her chest.

Without much thought, she looked up at him, smiled with many teeth, and said, "I had a good guide." At the very edges of her conscious awareness, she felt the darker possibilities of how today could have gone for her if she had revealed herself to the wrong person, but she gently pushed all that away. Getting a little braver, her fingers travelled further up Ren's spine, massaging his mid-back now as she again pressed her cheek against her collarbone and hummed the song she had spontaneously created while brushing his hair.

Ren felt a thrill in the wake of his words--almost alarming, but then Jaz looked up at him, her smile wide and easy.

"I had a good guide."

Darkness pressed in around them--from a distance, but noticeable. Or maybe it was the same darkness that was always there, just more perceptible in this moment, where he and Jaz really saw each other and the landscape around them, complete with dangers that Jaz could have run into but didn't, today.

She pressed her cheek against his collar bone again, her fingers massaging further up his spine as she began to hum the song she'd sung while brushing his hair. He felt almost unbearably warm, but he didn't want to back away. He re-anchored himself in place, feeling the roots of the forest beneath them, and he kept a hold of Jaz, and the warmth gently radiated through the both of them. He felt happy. Relieved that Jaz had happened upon his cabin. It even crossed his mind that perhaps the gods had meant for them to cross paths, though there were a million different things that could mean.

He let that thought go and listened serenely while Jaz hummed her way through her song, his mind replaying Jaz's pleasant strokes of the brush through his hair earlier alongside the relaxing motions of her fingers in the muscles of his back now. Tentatively, Ren lightly kneaded the muscles of her back, too. He wasn't able to do much before awkwardness gummed up his motions, but he felt content that even without massage, surely his arms around Jaz were offering enough. For good measure, he thought about gratitude emanating from the simple steady touch of his palms against her back, carrying echoes of the relaxation he felt in his own muscles under Jaz's touch.

((OOC: I think Ren will probably start to pull away once Jaz finishes humming))

Her hum seemed to keep the external thoughts at bay as the image of dark forests and thick roots steadied them both. There was a bubbling up in Jaz's chest--an excitement, an awe--and she wondered if Ren felt it, too. They had shared what they knew of their gods with each other, and here they each were now, basking and comfortable with each other and the disparate world each of them represented.

Behind her eyes, she saw glimpses of the experience of brushing Ren's hair earlier--both from his perspective and hers--and she had the impression it would become a well-worn memory for her, something she might use to anchor herself. Ren played with kneading the muscles of her back, and Jaz relaxed into the sensation, but he soon stopped as some tension knotted around his hands. It gave way quickly, however, in favor of warmth, and Jaz relaxed again, enjoying being held. It had been far too many days since she had experienced this kind of comfort.

She had hummed the little verse she made up twice before she stopped, and whatever spell they had woven together began to release the two of them soon after. Ren's hands grew light and dropped to his sides, and Jaz took the cue to disengage as well, her eyes wide and grateful despite the increased physical distance.

Jaz smiled with one side of her mouth and dropped her gaze, looking back toward her blankets and the fire. There was another flare of gratitude as she looked out toward her tent again, her chest aching at the thought of being there instead. Smiling back at Ren over her shoulder momentarily, she freshly examined the reality of getting to sleep with her clothes on, even something as light as the dress she wore, but eventually settled into the blankets, basking in the light and the warmth of the fire.

((OOC: I think Jaz's skin is mostly blue, maybe a little splotch to one side of her forehead is still beige.))