Written Wonderland

A personal matter. That made sense, and surely that would be enough to go on to report back to Captain Miller. Daniel was prepared to obey the soldier, then--surely he did want to be left alone--but Daniel found himself watching as the man's shoulders tensed further as he said, "I'm thinking of volunteering."

Some sensation of nausea cycled through Daniel's stomach. The fact that the solider said it so matter-of-factly meant that it was something he expected Daniel to know. Daniel, who was, by all accounts, a stranger to him. Had Daniel missed something? He'd caught the word "volunteering" from a few of the soldiers under different captains, but he hadn't made much of it, thinking there was just some other task to do. Daniel had enough to deal with getting into shape to worry much about taking something else on. He was one of the newest recruits, still.

Daniel nodded even though the soldier couldn't see him and even though Daniel still had no idea what that meant. He weighed the value of pretending to know and decided it wasn't worth it unless he was genuinely prepared to walk off immediately afterward.

Without moving from his rooted position, Daniel asked, "Not to sound dense, but... volunteering for what?" If this was the reaction the thought of volunteering made this soldier have, then Daniel wasn't fully convinced he wanted to know, but then again, this wouldn't be the first time that Captain Miller had kept his soldiers in the dark about something.

Volunteering for what?

Great. Just great. Chris' nails dug into the ground again, his whole body reaching a new level of tense. He'd just stupidly assumed it was common knowledge now, what with the mess tent abuzz and Amy coming to find him about it. But, of course that hadn't been a safe assumption. And now Chris was going to have to explain himself. Or, not, he supposed. But that would mean running away again, and he could barely fucking move at this point.

"To secure our alliance with the Shel'ti." Chris said after a long, heavy moment. He swallowed a thick lump down in his throat afterwards, his mouth dry and sticky. Some ridiculous, desperate hope had him listening for any queue of recognition from the other soldier, like he'd just needed a clarification, or a single blank filled. But Chris heard no such sign, and he knew it'd been stupid to hope for one.

"By going to the goddess."

The boy's cheeks burned hot, his teeth somehow hurting after saying the words out loud. He worried he sounded crazy, especially if this soldier had no clue what was going on. For a second, Chris wondered if he was crazy--he had just talked with his captain, right? And, Captain Morris wouldn't just... make something like this up, right? Chris clamped his jaw shut tight, his whole body braced for... he didn't even know what, waiting to see how the other soldier would respond.

To secure our alliance with the Shel'ti.

Daniel pondered that for a moment, wondering if the commander meant for some of the soldiers to travel. Or perhaps some of the soldiers were going to stay with the Shel'ti? But why? And why would that make this soldier so upset?

By going to the goddess.

Oh. Yes, that did sound... treacherous, at best. But Daniel ran one hand through his shoulder-length hair and wondered what exactly that meant, going to the goddess, and why would that secure the alliance? Hadn't they already secured the alliance in working with the goddess? And hadn't they only just rescued the attacked men?

Daniel let his confusion show on his face, grateful that the soldier on the ground was facing away from him.

"Thank you for telling me," Daniel said, knowing that the soldier had, just moments before, told Daniel to leave, "my captain... he doesn't seem interested in the goddess and... dissuades us from the same. If it isn't too much trouble, do you know what you will face there? Or how your going will help?"

Daniel realized that many of the other soldiers in camp likely knew the answers to those questions, but he really didn't remember any mention, even in passing rumors, of the details. And now that this soldier was willing to talk... Captain Miller couldn't keep them from talking.

Somehow, 'thank you' had been about the last thing Chris had expected to hear, and it simultaneously relaxed his muscles a bit and left him feeling... empty, and exposed, somehow. He supposed it made sense, though; this soldier had come to inquire about the situation, so of course information about the situation was something he'd appreciate. He also seemed... cautiously curious? if Chris had to guess based on the soldier's tone as he inquired further.

"I have no fucking clue." Chris muttered. But, once the words were out of his mouth, he felt a guilty twinge in his stomach; he had some clue, anyway.

"My captain told me we're trading volunteers for the Shel'ti soldiers the goddess attacked. And..." that wasn't all that his captain had told him, but the rest of it was slippery. His mind turned over the way Captain Morris had spoken about the offerings: strong, courageous, honored. It felt absurd to talk about. Would this soldier even dream of honoring Chris for this? Sounded like his captain wouldn't.

"I don't know much about what I'll face. There's the stupid stories people tell, but..." Chris' mouth was dry and sticky, and he had to swallow before he continued. "She was worshiped once. People used to volunteer to go to her." Embarrassment flared in him, though, some paranoia pricking at his back that he or his captain had been mistaken, that the whole thing was still somehow made up.

"Or, so I've heard." Chris added with a hasty mutter, his eyes still glaring down at his hands, at that small cut that throbbed dully on his thumb.

Daniel scrunched his nose briefly when Chris said he didn't know. Captain Miller's soldier only entertained that idea for a half-second. The man had to know something to be that upset at the ground.

But Daniel relaxed when Chris continued talking, listening to what the man had to say. Trading soldiers. Stories. Worship. Justification.

For a moment, Daniel was quiet, weighing the information. It felt invasive to even be present, much less to say anything back to that confession, and yet, there was a tugging in Daniel's chest.

In the city Captain Miller picked him up in, Daniel had heard rumors of the gods, and obviously some of the people in the city worshipped in the temples, but Daniel's family had found all that talk superstitious, and Daniel hadn't been determined enough to seek it out himself. It would find him if it needed to, he had decided.

And, well, here it was, in a way. Granted, Daniel knew enough about the goddess they were dealing with to know that she had been shamed by the king for one reason or another and didn't exactly have a comforting reputation, but Daniel wasn't going to take a human's word for it, especially the word of the very human they were waging a war against.

After another moment of thought, something sparked in Daniel, and he decided that, if the goddess had anything to do with the purple shimmer earlier that morning (or if the shimmer was a direct result of working with her in some way), then she was... good. There was goodness in the magic Daniel had felt as it passed through his body. He was certain of it.

All that to say, Daniel wasn't here to judge Chris, even if the tone of Chris' voice anticipated that he would.

"Is there anything I can do to help you?" Daniel asked, his voice unwavering.

Chris' ears rang loudly while he waited for the soldier's reply. Was he going to call Chris stupid? Naive? Brainwashed? Desperate, lusty, or mad?

No, ultimately, the soldier simply asked if he could help. A fresh lump swelled in Chris' throat, and tears welled up in his eyes. He stopped himself from sobbing with re-strengthened tension through his body, his shoulders trembling with the effort. Gods, what did he need?

"I don't know." The words tumbled out of Chris' mouth, his voice wobbling with the sob he held back. He tried to breathe through the enormous emotions in his body, and get a new look at the situation. He was engaging with this soldier for a reason, so what was it? Was it just because the soldier had insisted? No, he hadn't actually seemed all that insistent. Chris wanted something from him. He wanted something... what did he want?

"How--" Chris started, but a sob followed the word despite his effort. He clenched his eyes and his jaw both shut tight, his whole body now trembling.

Daniel watched the soldier and recognized the trembles of held-back sobs. The sounds the man made shortly after he started to ask a question further confirmed Daniel's suspicions. How... what? Daniel wasn't sure, and some part of him thought it would be better to back away and out of this, but it didn't feel right to leave this man on his own, at least not before the soldier told Daniel to leave again. The man was trying to say something, after all.

Against his better judgment, Daniel gave the soldier a wide berth as he walked around the man until Daniel was between the soldier and the river. The sound of the rushing water soothed Daniel, and he took a deep breath before getting down on all fours like the man in front of him, though he didn't try to meet him in the eye and there were still a few feet between them.

"I don't know how either," Daniel started to say, a smile creeping into his voice, "but I've got nothing better to do."

Chris bristled at the sound of the other soldier moving closer. He let his long hair hide his face as the man started to come into view, and he kept his gaze firmly on the ground below him. Even so, he caught sight in his periphery of the soldier... getting down onto all fours, and a loud sound suddenly bellowed from Chris, half chuckle half sob. Then, Chris finally eased his hands off the ground and slowly, carefully sat back on his knees. His narrow, pinkened eyes settled on the soldier before him, his brow furrowed with guarded emotion, but his mouth surprisingly loose... perhaps even curled in the slightest of grins.

"You better not be making fun." Chris snapped, but his heart wasn't in it, and that showed in his tone. Somehow, it didn't seem like this soldier was making fun, even though that seemed like the sanest explanation for the man's new posture. Obviously, Chris had just been in that position himself, but, well, he wasn't about to argue that he'd been sane, anyway. Maybe this soldier was a little off, too.

Chris wasn't sure where he wanted to go next, though. The sobs he'd been holding back were still there, curled tight in his muscles and his gut and exhausting him, but--at least for now--they seemed content to lay in wait, perhaps a bit disarmed by the sudden chuckle. The boy wiped his hands a bit absent-mindedly on his pants, his eyes flicking briefly to the water. He thought about going to wash off now, but, alas, it seemed shifting positions was all the movement he really had in him. Instead, he just balled his hands up on his knees for now, aching scratch and uncomfortable fingernails be damned, and returned his gaze to the other soldier, his expression shifting to something more contemplative--which, granted, on Chris, was a bit of a scowl.

((OOC: And, he'll eventually say something, but apparently, it might be an awkwardly long moment))

Daniel stared at the ground, his smile fading when the soldier let out another sound of distress. No, this was no laughing matter; Daniel knew that. And, though he felt obligated to return to his captain soon (ish) to report that everything was all right--or at least, that the king was not, in fact, attacking--Daniel wanted to take his time with this soldier.

"No, no," Daniel said, "not making fun." And Daniel meant it. He continued staring at the ground. Though, soon, Daniel became aware that the other man's posture was shifting, and he supposed that must be a good sign, so Daniel also gently and slowly lifted himself up to sit on his feet, knees in front, casually keeping his gaze on the tree in the distance just to the right of Chris' head, lest Chris get scared off by direct eye contact.

"Well, how 'bout we start with some names? I'm Daniel." He thought about offering his hand for a shake but thought that might well pull this delicate balance out of place, so he decided not to risk it.

Chris' amused barely-grin curled again, his eyebrow lifting subtly. His eyes narrowed at the same time, though.

"Chris." he said after a short silence, and then let another stand. Truthfully, he was glad to know the soldier's name--had even thought of asking for it before the man had spoken up--but, it didn't quite scratch whatever itch was tingling inside his stomach.

"I know you only just heard about it, but... would it ever cross your mind to volunteer, to go to the goddess?" Chris' mouth twisted briefly, and his eyes flicked towards some grass off to the side, his posture shrinking a bit again, "Or, does that just seem batshit crazy to you?"