Written Wonderland

Philip had assumed when he saw Novelty stand and approach the tent flap in his peripheral that the soldier was just going to quietly leave. Maybe wishful thinking, but then again, there had been something anxious in Philip's chest, wishing that something had gone differently but not knowing what. Yet, it wasn't strong enough to overpower the surprise and accompanying paralysis he felt when he realized Novelty had actually stepped closer to him, and now stood in front of him. Philip's eyes widened slightly, but remained aimed at the floor, relying on his leaned-over posture to somewhat obscure his expression.

The lieutenant breathed rather deliberately as Novelty spoke, trying to calm his body and assure himself that the soldier was giving him a kind courtesy. It was relieving to hear that Novelty intended to keep the details to himself, though Philip was somewhat glad that he'd managed to convey what he felt he needed to without getting into the gritty details to begin with, which made it easier to trust. He nodded once his body was relaxed enough to do so, and started to lift his head to give Novelty the respect of eye contact as a farewell, but he stopped and stiffened again when the man touched his shoulder.

A thousand memories rushed through his mind--of Miranda, of the goddess; of tenderness and lust; of hands touching, caressing, squeezing, scratching... --and a shaky gasp escaped from Philip's lips, a rush of color burning his cheeks in its wake. Panic scraped at his chest at what Novelty must think, but he tried to tell himself that it had been a subtle enough sound, plausibly innocent and nothing Novelty needed to pay mind to. With a great deal of resolve, Philip managed to finally pull his gaze back up to meet Novelty's--just in time for Novelty to turn his gaze away. But, Novelty had said he'd remember that Philip was a good man. That he'd miss Philip, even. Parts of Philip's mind felt bafflement and confusion and even disbelief, but he tried to focus on the parts that felt gratitude. This man had heard Philip's story, and judged him good, and surely that had to count for something.

"Thank you," Philip said softly, his expression genuine but uncertain. After a short pause he added, "I promise I'll eat," hoping something about the sentiment might help them feel more complete, somehow.

Philip's gasp hit Novelty hard in the chest, but he held still, wanting to hold as much space as possible for this man in his grieving, and Novelty had no doubt there was a lot to grieve.

Novelty was grateful when Philip did have the courage to meet his eyes and that, overall, his response to Novelty's proximity was positive, even if there still contained in his face some confusion and disbelief. It was all a lot to swallow at one time, and Novelty knew that.

When Philip said he would eat, Novelty laughed, bringing one curled index finger briefly up underneath his lower lip. He was absolutely helpless, this man, and yet with such ferocity. And, really, Novelty knew he would be all right. If his plan had been to starve or otherwise kill himself, he would have just gone to the goddess. But he didn't plan to. Philip would be all right.

Elated and yet pained to leave, Novelty retracted his hand from Philip's shoulder, and with a rash decision he was too beside himself to question, he leaned down and chastely, softly kissed Philip on the lips. Though he may have been embarrassed that he had done it after he pulled away, he smiled, reassuring himself that this would like be the last time he would see this man.

"Thank you, Philip," Novelty said quietly and turned away slowly, prepared to leave.

Philip was a bit uncomfortable and embarrassed by Novelty's laughter, but at the same time, something loosened inside of him as a result, and his lips even widened into a subtle smile.

Just when he thought he might be getting comfortable, Novelty was leaning down, and before Philip could even form guesses as to why, he felt the man's lips touch his own, leaving sparking tingles in their wake as the soldier stood up straight again and thanked Philip once more, with his first name. Philip's fingers rose to touch his lips as his eyes blinked after Novelty with wide surprise and fluster, his face now fully red from their encounter. Some part of him wanted to stop the soldier--to demand an explanation, or to touch their lips together again, or to push him down on his cot, he wasn't certain--but instead the lieutenant remained seated quietly, and pulled his fingers away from his lips to look at them, as though he might glean some understanding of what had just transpired from the sight.

He found himself hoping that he'd see the soldier again before he went to the goddess, though he wasn't sure what he hoped would transpire. He supposed he could likely seek the soldier out--he didn't recognize the name, but surely it wouldn't be too difficult to track down--but, there were probably other things he should do first. Perhaps Nathan deserved a more nuanced conversation, for instance. Captain Bronwen might deserve more of a debrief than he had given, too, especially considering this new development of sending back volunteers. Philip swallowed uncomfortably at the thought, but at least it didn't seem so impossible now as it had even earlier that day.

For now, Philip turned his attention to the food he'd set down beside him, and picked up the apple. He had promised Novelty that he would eat.

Some part of Novelty hoped that Philip would interrupt and prevent the soldier from leaving, but a cursory glance over the shoulder gave Novelty a glimpse of Philip's disbelief, of his brushing two fingers against his lips and pulling them away to look at them. Causing such strong expressions to cross Philip's face left Novelty in a state of elation as he left the tent, oscillating between his own disbelief about being brave enough to do that and extreme gratitude that he had. After all, Novelty would be leaving for the goddess this evening, and it was incredibly unlikely he would ever see Philip again. Having always appreciated the man's appearance and harbored immense curiosity about his stoicism, Novelty was pleased that he had finally found an opportunity to act. And, if he might be so bold as to assume, Novelty thought Philip had actually enjoyed it.

Now, to determine what all else was happening in camp. Novelty sincerely hoped his captain had met with the old woman and had some idea about an offering.