Nick blinked, his muscles growing subtly but visibly tense under his jacket. Had Rav made this too awkward? Was it too private now? But Nick soon closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, his muscles relaxing. At last, Nick pulled his hands out of his pockets and stepped forward, palms out. The two of them mirrored each other now, though it seemed that Nick was not going to initiate further without additional encouragement from Rav.
Rav grinned crookedly, amused at how ridiculous he himself had been. It was just a hug. But here in the alleyway where Rav was decently sure that no one was watching, he felt braver, safer, even. He knew it didn't make rational sense. Rav took another breath himself, swaying a little side to side the way he might at the beginning of a contact improv song. And, really, how different was what they were trying to do anyway? They both needed to listen to their own bodies and each other's bodies.
A ache of longing met the anticipation Rav had felt from the moment Nick had asked for a hug, and rather than push it down or shut down entirely, Rav invited it into the dance. He began to close the rest of the distance between Nick and him, steadily but slowly wrapping his arms around Nick such that Nick could dodge if needed. And, if he didn't, Rav intended to pull him close, close enough for both of their bodies to relish in the mutually created pressure of the embrace.
Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
Rav grinned, which seemed good. Nick smiled gently himself as Rav took his own beath, his body beginning to sway softly. Nick swayed, too, his smile warming as he relaxed into the familarity of this little ritual. Where there was normally music, there was instead the soundscape of the city, muted behind the buildings around them. They felt safely cuccooned, in a way, and Nick felt affection for this place grow within him.
Rav stepped forward, and another wave of butterflies danced in Nick's chest. He opened his hands wider, inviting as Rav closed the distance, and he leaned happily against Rav as Rav closed his arms around him, Nick's own hands pressing with tentative curiosity against Rav's back. Relief washed through him as he let out a sigh, though some small tension lingered in his chest. When Nick turned his attention inward toward it, he thought of the angry expression on Rav's face in the cafe, the stiff briskness of his walk on the way here. He reminded himself of Rav's grin just before they hugged, brought his attention back out to Rav's arms around him, his body pressed against Nick's. Surely he wasn't angry. His body didn't feel angry.
Nick let out another soft sigh, and tried to relax further, simply trusting the moment that Rav had offered him. Rav would need to go to work, soon, and Nick would need to get on with his own day, too. He was grateful for this visit to intimacy together, this touch outside of work or class to solidify the interest that had been spoken of. There was caution, of course, and that was okay. Nick's fingers pressed shyly into Rav's back, rubbing lightly in gratitude.
Rav stepped forward, and another wave of butterflies danced in Nick's chest. He opened his hands wider, inviting as Rav closed the distance, and he leaned happily against Rav as Rav closed his arms around him, Nick's own hands pressing with tentative curiosity against Rav's back. Relief washed through him as he let out a sigh, though some small tension lingered in his chest. When Nick turned his attention inward toward it, he thought of the angry expression on Rav's face in the cafe, the stiff briskness of his walk on the way here. He reminded himself of Rav's grin just before they hugged, brought his attention back out to Rav's arms around him, his body pressed against Nick's. Surely he wasn't angry. His body didn't feel angry.
Nick let out another soft sigh, and tried to relax further, simply trusting the moment that Rav had offered him. Rav would need to go to work, soon, and Nick would need to get on with his own day, too. He was grateful for this visit to intimacy together, this touch outside of work or class to solidify the interest that had been spoken of. There was caution, of course, and that was okay. Nick's fingers pressed shyly into Rav's back, rubbing lightly in gratitude.
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
Nick felt good in Rav's arms, pressed up against Rav's chest. Nick let out a sweet sigh, and Rav squeezed him a little harder, enjoying Nick's fingers as they rubbed his back gently.
Rav had half a thought of pushing Nick up against the wall but managed to breathe through it and calm himself down before it escalated into another shutdown. Nick sighed again, softly, relaxing further. Maybe they could try to trust each other.
"Thank you, Nick," Rav said softly just past Nick's ear. "I'm glad you asked."
Eventually, though, the embrace began to feel indulgent, and some part of his brain was eager to check the time. He pulled away from Nick, half-smiled, and added, "One day I'll get better at all this."
Rav had half a thought of pushing Nick up against the wall but managed to breathe through it and calm himself down before it escalated into another shutdown. Nick sighed again, softly, relaxing further. Maybe they could try to trust each other.
"Thank you, Nick," Rav said softly just past Nick's ear. "I'm glad you asked."
Eventually, though, the embrace began to feel indulgent, and some part of his brain was eager to check the time. He pulled away from Nick, half-smiled, and added, "One day I'll get better at all this."
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
"Thank you, Nick," Rav said softly just past Nick's ear, and a subtle shiver danced across Nick's skin. "I'm glad you asked." Nick smiled wide, nuzzling his cheek into Rav's chest and squeezing the man a little tigher.
Eventually, Rav pulled away from Nick, and Nick was sure to ease up in tandem, meeting Rav's gaze with a gentle smile as they disentangled. "One day," Rav said, "I'll get better at all this."
Nick let out a breath of a chuckle, his smile growing crooked and his eyes blinking to the side.
"Me, too."
Then, he drew his gaze back to Rav, his eyebrows sweet and hopeful.
"See you at my place."
Eventually, Rav pulled away from Nick, and Nick was sure to ease up in tandem, meeting Rav's gaze with a gentle smile as they disentangled. "One day," Rav said, "I'll get better at all this."
Nick let out a breath of a chuckle, his smile growing crooked and his eyes blinking to the side.
"Me, too."
Then, he drew his gaze back to Rav, his eyebrows sweet and hopeful.
"See you at my place."
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
At Nick's address stood a charming house across the street from an elementary school's open field, just a couple blocks from a lovely thoroughfare with restaurants and shops. Far enough from the thoroughfare for parking to go relatively smoothly; close enough for a bus stop to be a quick walk. Quite a nice location, really.
The front of the house sported various shrubbery decorating the hillside where a set of stairs led up to a porch prominently displaying the address numbers. Large windows were open on either side, lights on, but the angle from the sidewalk didn't offer a peek at much besides the ceiling inside.
The front of the house sported various shrubbery decorating the hillside where a set of stairs led up to a porch prominently displaying the address numbers. Large windows were open on either side, lights on, but the angle from the sidewalk didn't offer a peek at much besides the ceiling inside.
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
Rav opted to take the bus to Nick's house, the kneepads safely in a backpack. This way, he wouldn't have to mess with parking, and he would have a reason to leave at a reasonable hour--he needed to catch the bus back.
He arrived a couple blocks from Nick's address and walked the short distance, appreciating the neighborhood. He was grateful he hadn't invited Nick to his place--it was a lot more run down than this, and his bedroom was not much larger than a big closet. Granted, the roommate he shared the basement with wasn't bad, and the carpet would not have been terrible for contact improv.
Rav shook off his embarrassment and turned toward the house, preparing to walk up the stairs. He stopped briefly to check in with his body. How did he feel? Anxious? Nervous? Excited.
He was hopeful. A giddiness fluttered in his chest, though it didn't quite make it to his jaw.
Slow, Rav. Go slow, he thought to himself. With a deep breath, he ascended the stairs. When he had fully arrived, he rang the doorbell, examining the subtle places where the paint was chipping off the wood while he waited, his stomach doing flips.
He arrived a couple blocks from Nick's address and walked the short distance, appreciating the neighborhood. He was grateful he hadn't invited Nick to his place--it was a lot more run down than this, and his bedroom was not much larger than a big closet. Granted, the roommate he shared the basement with wasn't bad, and the carpet would not have been terrible for contact improv.
Rav shook off his embarrassment and turned toward the house, preparing to walk up the stairs. He stopped briefly to check in with his body. How did he feel? Anxious? Nervous? Excited.
He was hopeful. A giddiness fluttered in his chest, though it didn't quite make it to his jaw.
Slow, Rav. Go slow, he thought to himself. With a deep breath, he ascended the stairs. When he had fully arrived, he rang the doorbell, examining the subtle places where the paint was chipping off the wood while he waited, his stomach doing flips.
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
Nick jolted up to a seated position when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and then he quickly pushed himself to his feet and stretched out the strangeness of laying however briefly on the hardwood floor. He walked over to the door, his own footsteps light and sock-padded, and he very nearly went ahead and opened it, but stopped himself, catching the nervous frantic energy that nearly propelled the motion. Instead, he set both hands on his chest and closed his eyes, and took a deep, slow breath, his mind replaying the sound clip of Rav saying Slowwwwww in the cafe the other day.
Then, the doorbell rang.
Nick startled just a little bit kept still, taking in another deep breath and quietly letting it out. That done, he shook out his hands a little at his sides, and then finally set his hand on the doorknob--and took in yet another deep breath and let it out before opening the door with a smile.
"Hi!" he said, a burst of nervous excitement bursting from him even despite his efforts at keeping calm. He smiled a little sheepishly and stepped back from the door, opening it wide to invite Rav in.
Behind Nick was a desk to the right of an odd entertainment center, scuffed-up 70's-era shelves angling a TV off to the left. It faced couches nestling that corner of the room, a coffee table in front of them bearing apple slices, cucumbers, and pieces of cheese on a plate. Beyond the coffee table and TV was an open archway leading to a dining room table, and a kitchen beyond that.
Nick gently closed the door once Rav had stepped inside, revealing a free-standing bench with shoe cubbies beneath and a wooden back that went nearly up to the ceiling, coat hooks fastened to it up above. Nick stepped back, gesturing to it proudly.
"If you'd like to take off your coat or shoes."
Beyond the bench/coat rack was the open hardwood floor space Nick had likely been talking about in the cafe, though it wasn't terribly large. Three bikes ran parallel the front wall in a rack in the far corner, and in the other corner was another coffee table against the wall, this one with a printer and miscellaneous office supplies. Two closed doors flanked the coffee table, one on either wall.
Then, the doorbell rang.
Nick startled just a little bit kept still, taking in another deep breath and quietly letting it out. That done, he shook out his hands a little at his sides, and then finally set his hand on the doorknob--and took in yet another deep breath and let it out before opening the door with a smile.
"Hi!" he said, a burst of nervous excitement bursting from him even despite his efforts at keeping calm. He smiled a little sheepishly and stepped back from the door, opening it wide to invite Rav in.
Behind Nick was a desk to the right of an odd entertainment center, scuffed-up 70's-era shelves angling a TV off to the left. It faced couches nestling that corner of the room, a coffee table in front of them bearing apple slices, cucumbers, and pieces of cheese on a plate. Beyond the coffee table and TV was an open archway leading to a dining room table, and a kitchen beyond that.
Nick gently closed the door once Rav had stepped inside, revealing a free-standing bench with shoe cubbies beneath and a wooden back that went nearly up to the ceiling, coat hooks fastened to it up above. Nick stepped back, gesturing to it proudly.
"If you'd like to take off your coat or shoes."
Beyond the bench/coat rack was the open hardwood floor space Nick had likely been talking about in the cafe, though it wasn't terribly large. Three bikes ran parallel the front wall in a rack in the far corner, and in the other corner was another coffee table against the wall, this one with a printer and miscellaneous office supplies. Two closed doors flanked the coffee table, one on either wall.
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
Rav stared mercilessly at the chipping paint for several agonizing moments, reprimanding himself for how tightly wound he was. It wasn't as though he hadn't been to someone's house before.
Sure, but not as a... date. Not lately. Was it a date? They had established a mutual interest, so it may as well be one, Rav thought.
The door swung open wide, revealing a grinning Nick. Rav smiled crookedly, his hair choosing that moment to fall in front of his eyes. He tilted his head briefly to move it aside again.
"Hi!" Nick said excitedly, inviting Rav in. Rav was grateful Nick seemed just as excited--maybe even more excited--than Nick had at the coffee shop. That boded well, Rav thought.
Rav looked around the room--a mismash of furniture from various eras that made him feel more at home, even in the swanky neighborhood, a TV, a few scattered pieces of artwork on the walls. On the coffee table in front of a couple of vinyl-looking couches, there were plates of apple slices, cucumbers, and cheese. Rav's smile deepened, realizing the trouble Nick had gone to on Rav's behalf.
Nick closed the door behind him, and Rav started a little, suddenly feeling the slightest bit trapped in the space. But he took a deep breath, reassuring himself that he wasn't the one in danger here. The sudden fear turned instead to knots in Rav's stomach. That sensation, at least, was familiar.
The door had been hiding an elaborate piece of hardwood furniture that was part bench, part shoe rack, and part coat rack. Rav raised his eyebrows. The thing had character. Nick gestured to it with a flourish it deserved.
"If you'd like to take off your coat or shoes."
First, Rav warily set the small black backpack he brought with him down on the bench. He was always a little reluctant to give up his faux leather jacket, but he shrugged it off, revealing his favorite t-shirt--a plain gray form-fitting v-neck--and what Rav imagined to be a pleasing amount of the curved lines of his biceps. He started in on untying his black, white-laced sneakers, looking around the room as he did so.
Beyond the coat rack contraption was an opening into another adjoined space, which contained a bike rack and another coffee table with a printer and office supplies on top. Otherwise, the open floorspace was big enough that Rav and Nick could comfortable lay down without touching each other--snug but workable for their purpose. The two closed doors on the far wall did set Rav's nerves on edge, but he supposed one of them was probably the roommate Nick mentioned. At first, Rav wanted to explore the basement for contact improv--concrete floor be damned--but maybe it was better that someone could walk in on them. It would keep them from getting too carried away, right?
When Rav was down to his socks, t-shirt, and sweatpants, he turned to Nick with a smile, at least until he remembered the kneepads. Turning back to his backpack, he unzipped the bag and pulled out a purple and a blue pair of cloth kneepads. He handed the blue pair to Nick.
"These ones will probably fit you better," Rav said, waiting for Nick to take them before strapping on his own.
Sure, but not as a... date. Not lately. Was it a date? They had established a mutual interest, so it may as well be one, Rav thought.
The door swung open wide, revealing a grinning Nick. Rav smiled crookedly, his hair choosing that moment to fall in front of his eyes. He tilted his head briefly to move it aside again.
"Hi!" Nick said excitedly, inviting Rav in. Rav was grateful Nick seemed just as excited--maybe even more excited--than Nick had at the coffee shop. That boded well, Rav thought.
Rav looked around the room--a mismash of furniture from various eras that made him feel more at home, even in the swanky neighborhood, a TV, a few scattered pieces of artwork on the walls. On the coffee table in front of a couple of vinyl-looking couches, there were plates of apple slices, cucumbers, and cheese. Rav's smile deepened, realizing the trouble Nick had gone to on Rav's behalf.
Nick closed the door behind him, and Rav started a little, suddenly feeling the slightest bit trapped in the space. But he took a deep breath, reassuring himself that he wasn't the one in danger here. The sudden fear turned instead to knots in Rav's stomach. That sensation, at least, was familiar.
The door had been hiding an elaborate piece of hardwood furniture that was part bench, part shoe rack, and part coat rack. Rav raised his eyebrows. The thing had character. Nick gestured to it with a flourish it deserved.
"If you'd like to take off your coat or shoes."
First, Rav warily set the small black backpack he brought with him down on the bench. He was always a little reluctant to give up his faux leather jacket, but he shrugged it off, revealing his favorite t-shirt--a plain gray form-fitting v-neck--and what Rav imagined to be a pleasing amount of the curved lines of his biceps. He started in on untying his black, white-laced sneakers, looking around the room as he did so.
Beyond the coat rack contraption was an opening into another adjoined space, which contained a bike rack and another coffee table with a printer and office supplies on top. Otherwise, the open floorspace was big enough that Rav and Nick could comfortable lay down without touching each other--snug but workable for their purpose. The two closed doors on the far wall did set Rav's nerves on edge, but he supposed one of them was probably the roommate Nick mentioned. At first, Rav wanted to explore the basement for contact improv--concrete floor be damned--but maybe it was better that someone could walk in on them. It would keep them from getting too carried away, right?
When Rav was down to his socks, t-shirt, and sweatpants, he turned to Nick with a smile, at least until he remembered the kneepads. Turning back to his backpack, he unzipped the bag and pulled out a purple and a blue pair of cloth kneepads. He handed the blue pair to Nick.
"These ones will probably fit you better," Rav said, waiting for Nick to take them before strapping on his own.
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
Nick rocked a little on his heels, antsy but trying to let the energy out non-disruptively as Rav set his backpack down and began to shrug off his leather jacket. It was only when Nick's eyes grazed Rav's bicep that he realized he was just awkwardly staring, and he hastily cast his eyes about the room to try to figure out what else he should be doing. This was always something that tripped him up about hosting--how should he occupy himself while his guest got comfortable?
Lacking other inspiration, Nick shuffled over to the coffee table and picked up an apply slice to nibble on. Then, he pivoted around slowly. Rav was untying his shoes, looking at the hardwood space as he did so, and Nick continued contemplating it himself, as well. He still felt undecided on which space to nudge them toward; both had their pros and cons.
Rav finished with his shoes and stood, turning to face Nick with a smile as Nick finished the last bite of his apple slice. Excitement cascaded through him, warm and fluttery, as he took in the sight of Rav in his form-fitting v-neck and sweatpants. Nick wondered, then, about his own outfit in Rav's eyes. He hadn't seen Rav wear this shirt to contact improv before, but Nick was sure he'd worn his own top to class before; it was one of his favorites. A little bit loose-fitting, with a wide collar line that made for a nice feeling of openness and flow. Most importantly, though, the fabric was smooth and light and soft and glided very pleasantly over his skin. It was a soft grey-blue color, with suble white graphic texturing. Nick himself thought it very pleasant to look at, and extremely pleasant to touch.
All at once, Rav turned to shuffle through his bag, and produced a couple pairs of knee pads.
"These ones will probably fit you better," Rav said, handing the blue pair to Nick before strapping the purple on himself. Nick hesitated as he contemplated the knee pads. He had asked Rav to bring them, of course, but, he supposed, he didn't feel quire ready to put them on.
"Thanks. Um, snacks or anything? Water?"
Nick gestured toward the snacks on the coffee table, looking at Rav with a bit of nervous hopefulness. Again, he reminded himself of how Rav had said Slowwwww in the coffee shop. Surely it would serve them both to make sure they didn't dive ahead too eagerly.
Lacking other inspiration, Nick shuffled over to the coffee table and picked up an apply slice to nibble on. Then, he pivoted around slowly. Rav was untying his shoes, looking at the hardwood space as he did so, and Nick continued contemplating it himself, as well. He still felt undecided on which space to nudge them toward; both had their pros and cons.
Rav finished with his shoes and stood, turning to face Nick with a smile as Nick finished the last bite of his apple slice. Excitement cascaded through him, warm and fluttery, as he took in the sight of Rav in his form-fitting v-neck and sweatpants. Nick wondered, then, about his own outfit in Rav's eyes. He hadn't seen Rav wear this shirt to contact improv before, but Nick was sure he'd worn his own top to class before; it was one of his favorites. A little bit loose-fitting, with a wide collar line that made for a nice feeling of openness and flow. Most importantly, though, the fabric was smooth and light and soft and glided very pleasantly over his skin. It was a soft grey-blue color, with suble white graphic texturing. Nick himself thought it very pleasant to look at, and extremely pleasant to touch.
All at once, Rav turned to shuffle through his bag, and produced a couple pairs of knee pads.
"These ones will probably fit you better," Rav said, handing the blue pair to Nick before strapping the purple on himself. Nick hesitated as he contemplated the knee pads. He had asked Rav to bring them, of course, but, he supposed, he didn't feel quire ready to put them on.
"Thanks. Um, snacks or anything? Water?"
Nick gestured toward the snacks on the coffee table, looking at Rav with a bit of nervous hopefulness. Again, he reminded himself of how Rav had said Slowwwww in the coffee shop. Surely it would serve them both to make sure they didn't dive ahead too eagerly.
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
"Thanks. Um, snacks or anything? Water?"
Rav looked up at Nick after he had already put his kneepads on as Nick gestured toward the table with raised eyebrows. Rav straightened and smiled, laughing a little at himself. He had a habit of gunning toward the agreed-upon activity when he was nervous or anxious. Or both. He scratched the back of his head absently, nodding at Nick.
"Yeah," he said, taking a couple steps toward the table and sitting down on one edge of the couch. "I wasn't expecting all this," Rav said, picking up a cucumber. In truth, he'd eaten ahead of time--he didn't want Nick to feel responsible for food--but the gesture was really nice.
Rav looked around at the house from this angle, still a little daunted. No ants in sight, not like his place, not this time of year. Rav popped the cucumber slice in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. When he finished, he looked over to Nick, Rav's stare impassive. He draped one arm over the middle cushion of the couch, making himself comfortable.
"So, your roommate's here, I take it?" Rav asked, nodding in the direction of the far doors.
Rav looked up at Nick after he had already put his kneepads on as Nick gestured toward the table with raised eyebrows. Rav straightened and smiled, laughing a little at himself. He had a habit of gunning toward the agreed-upon activity when he was nervous or anxious. Or both. He scratched the back of his head absently, nodding at Nick.
"Yeah," he said, taking a couple steps toward the table and sitting down on one edge of the couch. "I wasn't expecting all this," Rav said, picking up a cucumber. In truth, he'd eaten ahead of time--he didn't want Nick to feel responsible for food--but the gesture was really nice.
Rav looked around at the house from this angle, still a little daunted. No ants in sight, not like his place, not this time of year. Rav popped the cucumber slice in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. When he finished, he looked over to Nick, Rav's stare impassive. He draped one arm over the middle cushion of the couch, making himself comfortable.
"So, your roommate's here, I take it?" Rav asked, nodding in the direction of the far doors.