Written Wonderland

Evan's expression softened again as Xavier spoke, but less out of nervousness than sympathy-- and then, when Xavier put on a Blake expression, amusement. He shook his head lightly, hoping to convey to Xavier that he really wasn't upset in the slightest. He would have gone on to verbally assure the lieutenant, too, but then Xavier went and asked about Evan's rank.

"Nah," he turned up another victorious grin, "She was definitely pissed, but she came around." That was... obviously a gross oversimplification of that conversation, but he wasn't terribly interested in rehashing all that again. Should he admit he was on shaky footing, though? He didn't want to lie to Xavier...

"As long as the situation keeps improving, she's willing to let me follow this course. Not sure exactly what happens if the situation stops improving, but I don't intend to let it." surely that was enough of an admission to keep this honest? Evan shrugged lightly, hoping Xavier would let him move on. Or, honestly, back again, because he really did want to make something clear.

"Anyway, I really am sorry you had to deal with Mizu and Blake. I'd intended to handle it without you and Seth needing to get involved. For what it's worth, no one blames you for following my lead. And, in case it needs to be said, I'm grateful you were by my side."

Xavier nodded while listening to Evan talk about his conversation with Mizu. He didn't have any doubts that Evan would succeed one way or another. He kept nodding all the way up to the point at which Evan said he was grateful, and then Xavier went right back to full blush, moving his hand in front of his mouth to partially obscure the wide grin that threatened to cover his face. 

"We could have done without Seth, though," Xavier said through his grin, and then, unbidden the image of seeing Evan in his tent with his hand in his pants flashed into his mind out of nowhere, and Xavier's eyes widened substantially as he buried his face into his arm.

He groaned lightly and attempted to change the subject. "So, you've been to the goddess' realm and back. How... How was it?" Xavier then finally took the opportunity to fully take in Evan's appearance. He definitely had a bite mark on his shoulder that Xavier could only assume was from the goddess, and fading scratch marks lit up parts of his skin that were visible. She certainly had done a number on Evan, and Xavier tried to push the image of the two of them coupled from his mind. The last thing he needed right now was a flare-up of jealousy.

The grin that lit up Xavier's face through his blush was contagious, despite Xavier's efforts to obscure it. Evan's own grin turned warmer, his cheeks gaining a bit of pink as well as he blinked his gaze away momentarily, suddenly feeling a bit overwhelmed. In hindsight, he supposed what he'd said had been a bit cheesy, and he was grateful Xavier was responding positively. Grateful, and just a tad scared.

Evan was also grateful for Xavier's playful jab about Seth, which elicited a soft chuckle from the captain and brought his eyes back to his lieutenant. ... Just in time to see Xavier bury his face into his arm, and let out a groan. Evan's face gained quite a bit more color, and he winced as his thoughts drifted to sinking his teeth into Xavier's neck and hearing him moan in response, and brought his attention back to the bulge in his pants. Obviously, he knew that had been the goddess, and not Xavier, but fuck if a part of him didn't want to interact with Xavier right here right now in all the same ways.

Evan cleared his throat and shifted his weight a little uncomfortably when Xavier asked about the goddess' realm, and turned his eyes back to Evan in a way that made Evan feel a bit... exposed? The captain suddenly felt antsy to sit down, but then hesitated about where. On Xavier's cot next to him? Ugh, fuck that certainly wouldn't help certain parts of his brain to shut up. He settled on the ground, hoping the elevation difference wouldn't be too weird. At first he sat cross-legged, but that didn't feel quite right, and he shifted about, drawing one knee up to rest his arm on, which felt a little better. Despite his face being red and his shoulders being visibly tense, Evan tried to respond to Xavier's question casually.

"It was... misty." Ha. Get it? Oh god fuck his brain was in such a weird state. Evan shook his head slightly and continued, trying to get into a more grounded headspace. "Like, at first, it was kind of like I was still in the clearing where we did the summoning, but like the woods were totally uninhabited, and the trees were black and bare. It was chilly, though. The sky was purple and cloudy."

... Xavier had been asking about the scenery, right? Obviously there was more to tell about Evan's experience there, but... how much would Xavier actually want to know? Surely it was obvious what Evan and the goddess did in that clearing. Gods, the things they did in that clearing... Evan knew he was starting to have trouble keeping his breathing from growing heavy, and the goddamn band on his cock certainly wasn't helping. His eyes flinched slightly and his muscles tensed as the band sparked nerves all over his body and compounded the heat in his pants, and he cast his gaze to the side, unsure what to do. Was it inappropriate to be around Xavier in this state? Should he leave? He really didn't want to. He wanted to tell Xavier about it. Well, to some extent. Fuck this was so fucking confusing. Part of his brain wanted to flee immediately, while part of it insisted he was being ridiculous for feeling embarrassed. Just fucking push Xavier down on the cot already, the boy would clearly fucking love it, that part insisted. But that wasn't... exactly what Evan wanted, either. He wanted Xavier to feel respected, and a part of things. He wanted to keep the trust between them strong, both for the sake of their unit and the cause, and also... ugh, fuck this was terrifying, but in spite of that - or maybe just a little bit because of it? - Evan remained glued to the spot, and finally the part of him that wanted to share with Xavier got control over his speech again.

"Interactions with the goddess were... about what you'd expect." More or less. Ish. When painting in broad strokes, anyway. "I saw one of the men she'd enthralled. They're like, servants, I guess. She sent me back through a portal like the one from the summoning, though now I know how to use the talisman next time."

Fuck, Evan's heart was racing. He hoped he was sharing enough with Xavier so the boy didn't feel like he was being stonewalled, but also not any more than Xavier was actually interested in hearing? Maybe he should leave it there and pause to let Xavier ask questions? Maybe he should just fucking push Xavier down on the cot? Fuck fuck fuck...

"Um..." Evan sighed and buried his face in his elbow, embarrassment radiating off his hot skin. There was no way Xavier wasn't picking up on his state at least to some extent. "Sorry if I'm..." Fuuuuuck this was awkward. Should he not have acknowledged it? Had he just made things worse? Should he have just shoved Xavier down on the fucking cot already? Evan felt paralyzed with all his mixed feelings, and just let that note hang awkwardly as fuck in the air for a moment while he tried desperately to gather coherence again.

Xavier had never seen Evan this uncomfortable. At first, he became worried and had an absurd desire to reach out to Evan and... pat him on the shoulder or touch his face or (his leg or) something. But then it became exceptionally obvious that Evan was embarrassed, maybe even more embarrassed than Xavier himself was. Had been. Was he nervous now? Maybe it was just the fact that Xavier was taller than Evan for once the way they were seated, but his nerves had dissipated as Evan became more... shy? Whoa. Did that mean...? Nah, probably Evan was just skirting details about the encounter with the goddess, and suddenly, based on the quality of Evan's red face, Xavier wanted to know it all in riveting detail. Jealousy be damned. 

Xavier let out a brief chuckle that was really more of a giggle and finally said, "That good, huh? Why don't you just kiss and tell already?" His expression erred just the slightest bit toward lewd. Surely they could joke like that? Surely they had built up enough mutual trust and friendship that this was acceptable and help Evan get on with it already. 

Xavier's chuckle and goading on pleasantly surprised Evan, and brought the captain's gaze up again, a crooked grin reforming on his face. Why didn't he just kiss and tell already? Fuck, he felt ridiculous, but at least seeing Xavier's expression filled him with confidence again - excitement, even.

"I mean, yeah it was fucking good. I just fucked a fucking god." A breath something like an astounded chuckle escaped Evan's lips at that, and he brought a hand up to rub at his hair again, his gaze drifting to the side almost in a show of disbelief. It was still fucking absurd to wrap his head around, and saying it out loud was just surreal.

He brought his gaze back to Xavier a little tentatively, gauging the boy's expression for signs of discomfort or continued interest. If Xavier was genuinely interested in the details... fuck propriety, Evan really did want to share. Anyway, propriety was for uptight shits like Blake. He and Xavier had rapport, and that was good, and fuck if this wouldn't just strengthen it, right?

"It was... terrifying, and exhausting, and thrilling, and pleasurable as fuck. I don't even really know where to start."

He supposed he could start at, y'know, the beginning. His mind went back over the moment the goddess had entered into the clearing with him, put that first restraint on his ankle...

"She had these... like, lightning bands she could make. Like, I've pinned people down before, and been pinned down, and that's fun, and the bands were like, being pinned with a heightened sense of danger? Cuz if you moved or struggled at all, they'd shock you. And of course she took steps to encourage me to struggle."

At first he smirked about that, but then started getting nervous again. Was this... was this weird? Was this entirely the wrong sort of information for Evan to be sharing with his lieutenant about himself? Would any of this hurt his relationship with Xavier? But if he couldn't tell Xavier, there really wasn't anyone else he could imagine divulging the details to, and the thought of keeping everything to himself throughout this felt.. heavy, to say the least. Wouldn't he start to feel crazy? Seth he was pretty sure would want to sweep everything under the rug, which Evan intended to respect. He supposed, maybe that other soldier who had woken up? But Evan didn't know him, and was more curious about that soldier's experiences than interested in sharing his own. He certainly wouldn't be opening with 'yeah I like being pinned down and shocked,' anyway.

... He still couldn't believe he was opening that way with Xavier, even. Fuuuuck.

"...Is this weird?" he finally decided to just ask, doing his best to muster an amused grin at the ridiculousness of this whole situation. "We haven't exactly shot the shit about sexual conquests before."

Not that Evan had really had conquests worth talking about in quite some time. A part of him wondered if Xavier had, but he did his best to nip that train of thought in the bud before he went imagining things. Still, a certain part of his brain served up that memory of Xavier reaching out to touch his leg at the summoning. Whatever his previous experiences, the boy certainly wanted for something, though Evan also reminded himself that obviously the goddess had been playing a hand in everyone's state to some extent.

He breathed smoothly through the next shock in his pants, accepting that this conversation was absolutely going to come with a lot of those. And, y'know, given how he'd started the conversation, he wasn't exactly in a bad spot to enjoy the sensation. He also wondered if he should tell Xavier just what the situation currently was... but at the very least, that certainly required waiting for the boy to answer the question already posed, and even then, they probably had a few more layers to peel back before talking about the state of Evan's dick was realistically actually on the table.

Hoo boy, this was gonna be a process. Evan found himself really, really hoping that Xavier was in fact interested in seeing it through. ... Especially if it did in fact end with him and Xavier sharing space on that cot.

... If that wouldn't make things unbearably weird going forward?

Fuck.

Evan did his best to reel his thoughts back in, and just fucking wait to see what Xavier's actually reply was gonna be before projecting out into all the possibilities of how this could conceivably maybe possibly go.

Xavier laughed at Evan's initial comment, finding himself eager to enjoy Evan's excitement. There was no point in hiding his interest now as his body inched forward on the cot until Xavier was literally on the edge of his seat. As Evan mentioned the lightning bands, an image of the lightning that struck the clearing flashed through Xavier's mind. But... probably the lightning bands were much less than that since, you know, Evan was still in one piece. Still, Xavier found his mind turning over the possibility in his mind. Would he himself enjoy being shocked? He wondered what it would feel like and visibly shivered with pleasure at the thought. 

He did pull back slightly when Evan talked about having pinned other people down--and having been pinned himself--first because he didn't really want to think about the other sexual encounters Evan had had but then later because the image that the goddess had sent Xavier during the negotiation was absolutely of Evan pinning Xavier down and later of Xavier getting the upper hand with Evan underneath him, their lips touching after they had fallen off that horse... Xavier's mouth was watering. But, then, that meant that wasn't just something the goddess made up out of nowhere? Did Evan also experience that fantasy? Oh gods, Xavier did not know how to feel about that. Part of him wanted to believe that maybe that was why Evan had been so embarrassed, but maybe that had nothing to do with it. Besides, wasn't it a bit egotistical to think that Evan was into him? Or maybe Evan was just into everyone this much. Who knew?

Xavier's shoulders slumped a little bit, but his mood picked back up quickly when Evan grinned. Suddenly, he very much wished that he had encouraged Evan to sit on his cot beside him. 

"I mean, we might have if there were more going on around here. It's... complicated at best with all the..." Xavier paused and moved one hand in the air and raised his other hand above and beside it, moving them several times to make a gesture that gave the impression of a set of stairs. "And it's not like we've stayed in a town recently." Xavier leaned back slightly and scratched the back of his hair again, ruffling it up on accident this time. "Plus, I don't exactly..." Xavier started to say but then grew worried and blushed deeply. "I mean, I wasn't... Look, I was surprised as anyone that the goddess had a dick. I was completely in control of the situation until then."

Evan relaxed when Xavier implied he would've been down to discuss these sorts of things had there been anything worth discussing. He turned up a lightly amused grin at Xavier's gestures in the air, mostly guessing what the boy meant by them from context.

Then, Xavier started getting uncomfortable again, and Evan swallowed, wondering what the boy was trying to spit out. He, uh, couldn't say he was expecting a comment about the goddess' cock, and his skin gained another shade of red thinking back to the moment she revealed it. He could feel his mouth starting to water again, and a soft groan escaped his lips as his own cock twitched and swelled yet again beneath his pants, complete with yet another shock.

"I mean," some part of his brain spoke up before the rest of his mind quite got past the sensations between his legs, "I seem to recall you gasping before that particular reveal," and his grin turned just a slight shade more sinister, one eyebrow raised a little higher than the other as he met Xavier in the eye.

Of course at that point the rest of his brain caught up, and kind of fucking panicked about whether that was completely out of line. Still, it was hard at this point to wrench control of his expression away from the part of him that wanted to watch Xavier squirm at least a little bit. Fuck, Evan had enjoyed hearing that gasp hit his ears when it had happened, and he did wonder just what sorts of thoughts the goddess had sent the boy to elicit that response.

Xavier balked and shuffled back onto the bed in playful defense, though the enormous grin on his face wasn't fooling anyone. "What? No, that was... I was worried about Seth! Yeah, he was not doing well." Xavier said the last part with a ridiculously exaggerated frown as he sliced the air with one hand. "Seth was not a good choice but I guess I don't really fault you for that even though he was a jerk after you left and I'm still really grateful that you brought me even though I maybe did lose a little bit of control of the situation when the goddess made images pop into my head of... well, you were very distracting that whole time, do you know that?" Xavier started to become embarrassed about having let himself blurt out so much, but it was a side effect of being flustered. Compulsive honesty, as his grandmother used to call it. But then, Xavier got worried about something else that distracted him. 

"Wait, you didn't... um... talk to Seth first, right?" Xavier didn't think that Seth would be the type of person to revisit the fact that Xavier had wanted to pounce Evan that entire time, but after the stunt Seth pulled, Xavier would rather not worry about that as a variable. Much better to hope that Evan had been far too distracted with the goddess to notice (except the leg thing, which, uggghhh, made Xavier want to bury his face in his arm all over again).

Heh, Evan's grin widened considerably as he watched Xavier shuffle back and verbally trip all over himself. Oh, gods this was great.

As long as Xavier wasn't... actually uncomfortable? The boy had started out with a stupid big grin, and Evan was fairly confident the exaggerated frown about Seth was all in good fun, so... hopefully this was fine?

Besides, the charge of having been 'very distracting that whole time' was... mmm. While some part of his brain was mortified to be rehashing this, most of his brain, right now at least, was gratified as fuck.

He felt a bit derailed by Xavier asking about Seth, though, and let his expression shift a little more towards confusion rather than the smug grin he'd been wearing. He supposed he'd assumed Xavier would've also picked up on the fact that Seth probably wouldn't want to talk about what had happened, though now Evan suddenly questioned that. Should he have talked to Seth first?

He couldn't imagine that he should have, though. Especially not really knowing how much time he had, debriefing with Xavier was definitely higher priority, even if he also planned on debriefing with Seth.

Evan debated briefly, part of him wanting to back off a bit and give Xavier an honest reply to answer the boy's inquiry, while part of him wanted to prod at Xavier to figure out why he cared whether Evan had spoken to Seth.

Maybe he could do both.

"No, I didn't figure Seth would really want to talk about what happened, honestly." Evan shrugged lightly, momentarily back in his usual countenance, before widening his grin and raising his eyebrow again.

"Just what do you worry he might've had to say?"

Xavier mentally cursed himself for giving Evan fodder. Ughhhhh, Evan was enjoying this... and Xavier wanted so badly to be frustrated about it, but it was just too hotttttttttt. He sincerely enjoyed the playful interrogation they had going, and Evan's eyebrow made Xavier feel like Evan might come over toward him in that same strut he used for the goddess, place one hand on either side of Xavier's body, lean in, and... Gah! How was he supposed to answer that question? 

Looking down, Xavier's expression attempted to appear serious with limited success.

"Look, we were all under a lot of... pressure in that situation. We all made...choices...that we couldn't have anticipated the consequences of. You didn't tie Seth up, Seth crossed the line... I grabbed your leg..." Xavier said the last bit in a low and strained voice. "I may have chewed Seth out after the goddess took you, and he scolded me for... well..." Xavier put his hand to his head, which looked comical given the fact that he could not keep the grin from his face.

"Okay, you must know how appealing you looked in that negotiation, right? Like, you're not totally oblivious that you were more enticing than the goddess in a lot of ways?" Xavier realized only after he said it that he had basically insinuated that Evan ranked above a goddess, which made him, what, like, a super-god? A meta-god? God of gods? Ughhhh, no. Not what he meant; that just put Evan further out of Xavier's reach. And, in all reality, it was just plumb ridiculous to think that his captain would be within his reach at all! Gods! Why did they have to be having this conversation in Xavier's tent? Xavier felt vulnerable and sheepish and exposed and excited and aroused and terrified all at once and could do nothing but put his head in his hands for a moment.