Written Wonderland

As the soft darkness remained between them, Jaz tried to be patient. She looked for glimmers that Ren was trying to show her something, but she couldn't see or feel anything in their connection besides his own desire to coax her back out. She wasn't hiding, but he clearly didn't know that.

Changes didn't happen in the flow between their skin but in the ways they touched. Ren cupped the back of her hand with his other hand gently, kindly, sending a warmth through their connection that soothed and comforted her. Then, he fully traded the hand holding hers, disentangling their fingers but reassuring her with the fact that they were still in contact. With her palm exposed, Jaz watched Ren with interest as he brought his other hand back over hers, tentatively touching his fingertips to the inside of her forearm and gently stroking them down toward her wrist and into her palm.

Jaz shivered pleasantly and closed her eyes, leaning forward toward Ren unconsciously. Through their mental connection, she couldn't help but broadcast her delight in little blue sparks that flew across her vision in all directions. Opening her eyes again, Jaz smiled down at his hands holding hers, stroking hers with such care that she dared to think he did actually want her to stay with him.

He did, didn't he?

Her arm was quickly turning blue in the places he touched, blue streaks beginning to blend together on her forearm. In a way, the splotches were beautiful--something to mark all the places where he had made her feel this way. She wished she could save this image of their marks forever.

"This is very soothing," Jaz said aloud, "Thank you."

Ren was happy--blissful, almost--that Jaz went along with this motions, entrusting her hand to him and opening to what he wanted to show her. He felt her delight sparkle into him, pulling a gentle smile to his lips. He watched his own fingers trace lightly over her skin, took in the shifting shades of her color.

It [i]was[/i] admittedly strange, a little, to be reminded in this very visual, physical, concrete way of their differences, while indulging in this gentle, serene exchange of sensation. It was good, he supposed. There was a beauty to the blue color that blossomed, and there was a celebration, too, in the spaciousness they had out here in the woods to simply let it happen, unconcerned about prying eyes. He wasn't sure how Baer would react, but... with a gentle, only slightly embarassed warmth, he allowed himself the suspicion that she would be welcoming.

"This is very soothing," Jaz said aloud, "Thank you."

Ren let out a slow, warm exhale in response, closing both of his hands over Jaz's to offer an extra boost of contact before he gently pulled away, feeling a sense of completion.

"I'm glad that you liked it." Ren answered with a small nod, his eyes not quite meeting Jaz's. Instead, they moved toward the stick that Jaz still held in her other hand, the sap from the tree still clinging on. He gestured lightly to it with one hand.

"I would be very surprised if a small taste of it harmed you, if you'd like to try it."

Only after he finished speaking did he raise his eyes to Jaz again, though his chin was still dipped subtly downward and a touch to the side, his expression gentle and perhaps a dash sheepish.

Jaz's breath caught when Ren exhaled in response to her words--she hadn't wanted to encourage him to stop--but she supposed it was reasonable for them to move on from this moment. It was only a step along their journey, after all. Still, he closed both hands over hers and sent a blessing through their connection before he let go, sending excited sparks all throughout her body, gently prickling in her feet.

"I'm glad that you liked it," Ren said, nodding. He was looking down now, and Jaz remembered that she was still holding the stick with the sap on it. She looked down at it, too, momentarily, while Ren added, "I would be very surprised if a small taste of it harmed you, if you'd like to try it."

He met Jaz's eyes again, and something of their touch interaction lingered there, though he wasn't meeting her head-on enough for her to decipher what it was he didn't want her to see.

So good at hiding, this one, Jaz thought with a momentary wry grin and a tilt of her head. But she did genuinely assess the sap-coated stick, rolling it around in her hand.

It felt silly now, tasting it, after all the awkwardness this had caused. But, maybe that was just going to be part of getting to know Ren. And, besides, hadn't they come to agreements that would make interacting easier going forward? Jaz hoped so. Some part of her felt guilty--as much as she had attempted to listen to her intuition about the tree, she hadn't listened to her intuition about Ren. She needed to slow down, feel him out, introduce him to things with caution.

And was he introducing her to things with caution?

Too much caution, Jaz thought with amusement, thinking for the first time that maybe there was reason to what that man on the street in front of the temple had done and said yesterday, whatever his other motives.

Granted, she had never been the most careful. Maybe she did need a reminder to pull back.

She looked from the stick to Ren, some tension still preventing her from the experiment.

Finally, she said, "Will you... turn around for a moment?" Her eyes held a genuine plea, attempting to impart a similar embarrassment that he imparted to her about changing clothing last night.

Jaz gave Ren a wry grin that caught him a little off guard, but she shifted her attention down to the stick soon enough, and he let go of his momentary defensiveness. Perhaps it was just the mild absurdity of the tree sap having been a catalyst for all that followed. She rolled the stick around in her hand, assessing, thinking, and Ren watched with curiosity. He held some anxiety in his stomach--he'd feel [i]terrible[/i] if she did get sick from it--but, she was right that he couldn't be responsible for her choices. He'd given honest information, and she'd decide what to do with it.

Finally, she glanced from the stick to Ren and back and forth again, her eyes gaining a subtle, embarrassed plea. "Will you... turn around for a moment?"

Ren's eyebrows rose in surprise, some sheepishness tightening in his chest that he hadn't [i]realized[/i] she might want privacy in this process. He nodded, apology lightly entering his expression before he turned around as requested, his weight shifting to one foot a little nervously.

Admittedly, he didn't [i]love[/i] the feeling of Jaz behind him, in this moment. Maybe the shadow of the flower she had shown him still pricked a little at his scalp. But, he was glad she'd requested privacy when she wanted it, and she certainly deserved as much. For Ren's own nerves, he moved over toward a nearby tree, leaning his back against it and crossing his arms over his chest to soothe his body-level anxiety. He let out a deep breath, then, and settled his gaze on the forest before him, enjoying the sight and relaxing into the moment of quiet.

Ren looked genuinely surprised by her request, but he seemed to understand immediately and shifted his feet so he stood in the other direction. It seemed that he wasn't satisfied by that, though, as he soon moved behind a nearby tree, leaning against it and largely leaving Jaz's view. She hoped he didn't blame himself for not thinking of it first. Jaz would have eaten it in front of him--and had been most of the way there--before everything else. But now, after she had made it clear how intimate all this was, it would be difficult to show him her experience in real time. She didn't want to worry about whatever expressions she might make in the process.

Jaz looked back at the tree where she had collected the sap, visually inspecting the wound the sap leaked from. Perhaps an animal had rubbed up against the tree or something sharp had come through this area. Jaz wasn't sure, but she could see the ways the sap sealed the wound, as it did for trees of her realm as well. She would be tasting some of the tree's blood, if she went through with this, but that was so much of what eating was--consuming flesh and blood and muscle--whether plant or animal. The thought of it nearly soured Jaz's stomach, but she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

She would need to keep eating, and she needed to practice sensing into what foods were good for her. Everything here was going to be new. She had eaten Ren's breakfast just fine, hadn't she? Eggs, she thought incredulously, shaking her head. There would be no end to the wonders of this place, of that she was certain.

But, Jaz wanted to be right here, in this moment, if she was actually going to taste this. And, she did want it. Inspecting the sap on the stick more closely, there was something beautiful and tempting about the way its crystalline appearance caught the sparkle from the golden sun. Jaz found her mouth watering strangely.

What did she think it would do for her? Seal wounds? Wouldn't that require external application? She was not a healer, but she knew some tree sap did get applied topically. But others...

Maybe there was something internal that wanted soothing, that asked for this sap, that had called her attention here. How could she know? Would she recognize the change, if it happened? And what if it did harm her? She would be making Ren responsible for her care after the fact, maybe making him carry her out of this place--or worse.

No, she didn't think it would come to that--it was such a small amount, and she did feel good about it.

Tentatively, she stuck her tongue out and gently touched the sticky substance. Immediately, a fresh, clean air taste rushed into her mouth, making her shudder with happiness. She thought she felt the freedom of being a tree, of always reaching upward, of being able to stretch so many needle-fingers out into the world to feel the wind. Jaz giggled, delighted, and brought the rest of the sap on the stick into her mouth.

With her eyes closed, she rolled the stickiness around, testing what it felt like to chew it. There wasn't quite enough for that, and it stuck a little on her teeth, but Jaz didn't mind. The clean, fresh taste continued and became more potent, sending an airy sensation up the back of her throat and toward her nose. She shook her head when it arrived there, the potency intense as her eyes watered.

Cautiously, she swallowed the bead of sap, sensing into its travel down her throat and into her stomach. There was a warming sensation there--almost like a small fire. Jaz hummed quietly, allowing that warmth to suffuse her skin. She suddenly had the impulse to look down at her forearm where Ren had touched her. The blue of her skin had begun to fade, but it was slow, barely noticeable. Jaz touched it with her other hand, trying to mimic the ways Ren had touched her, dragging her fingertips softly from the crook of her elbow toward the palm of her hand. She shivered pleasantly.

It took some maneuvering and patience, but she was able to clear most of the stickiness out of her mouth by moving her tongue around, although the potency of the taste remained. Jaz could understand why humans didn't eat great quantities of it--one didn't need much. Her mouth felt a little too warm, and Jaz realized she could safely drink from the creek, if she wanted. She had gathered water for Ren from it earlier.

Cupping her palms in the water, she brought a mouthful up to her lips and drank. It was its own kind of clean and fresh, but more neutral, more interested in collecting what was around it and carrying it forward than having its own potency. Jaz was grateful that water was something their two realms had in common. There were different tastes--if Jaz focused hard enough--but they were substantially the same. She was grateful to have a familiar companion on this journey.

Gently, Jaz placed the stick at the bottom of the tree and walked slowly over to Ren. Before she turned the corner of his tree, she checked in with her body once more. Did she feel any different?

Her belly was still warm, and she looked down at her arm again. The blue was still there--not fading as quickly as she had come to expect. Jaz placed a hand over her forearm, grateful.

At last, she rejoined Ren, fighting the urge to touch his fingertips gently in her approach. She smiled quietly in his direction and said, "Well, not dead yet."

Jaz was quiet for a long moment, and Ren tried not to listen too intently for rustles or the like, respecting her request for privacy. He closed his eyes for brief spells, feeling the forest air and taking in its smells as his mind began to wanter. It was good that Jaz was getting to know the forest on her own terms, too. He looked forward to introducing her to the chickens, and wondered if she'd want a moment alone with them, too. Would she want to visit them on her own sometime? Well, if she stayed long enough, probably, Ren thought. Just how long would she end up staying? What would her Sorala ultimately entail?

All at once, Jaz giggled, and for a brief moment it startled Ren. He instinctively looked over his shoulder, but only caught a brief glimpse of Jaz's shape--enough to assure his nerves that she was not in any danger, maybe--before he remembered himself and settled back against the tree, feeling a bit sheepish about having looked. He genuinely hadn't spotted much, though. The stick near her mouth, maybe. And, it certainly wasn't as though he'd done anything wrong in overhearing the giggle. Besides, the giggle was good, surely? He wondered what exactly had sparked it--something in the taste, the texture? He'd ask her later, when the time seemed right, if she'd be willing to share.

Another long stretch of quiet passed. For some of it, Ren wondered whether he ought to fess up to Jaz, later, that he had accidentally looked. He wasn't sure that he'd actually care to know, if their positions had been reversed. But, then again, he wouldn't want to wonder to what degree his wishes were followed. He sighed a little, lamenting his own instinctive paranoia putting him in this position. He'd tell her, probably, but he'd try to find the right time.

His ears pricked when he heard her walk, but not toward him--over toward the creek. He managed not to look, and to withdraw his attention, letting her walk where she would in peace.

At last, she began to walk toward him, though she paused not far from his tree. He was tense, his instincts wanting desperately to turn around and face who approached, but he held steady, committed to seeing this agreement through. There was surely a reason that Jaz had paused, and he didn't want to rush past whatever it was.

Finally, she came into his peripheral vision, smiling, and Ren relaxed, taking that as permission to have her in his sights again, to bring his attention back onto her. It was a relief, although some parts of that felt a little absurd.

"Well, not dead yet." She said.

Ren let out a soft huff of a chuckle, shaking his head a little. "I should hope not," he said with a suble playful smile. Then, gaining a light seriousness as he pushed himself gently from the tree, he asked, "How was it?"

Ren's muscles relaxed when he took her in fully, and Jaz crooked a smile. It must have been exhausting, holding all those muscles taut that whole time. Was he really so worried about her?

He gave a short ghost of a laugh, shaking his head. "I should hope not." But, his small smile was playful.

His expression fell quickly, though, as he pushed himself up off his own tree. Jaz gazed upward at it. They were a different one than the one she had tasted. She wondered if Ren knew their name.

"How was it?" he asked, pulling her attention back to him. She blinked, realizing her vision had changed. There was a slight, fractal glimmer to the outer edges of everything. Jaz blinked again and looked elsewhere, noticing those glimmers travelled with her eyes.

I'm doing that? Jaz thought.

Oh, but maybe the sap. Jaz smiled with one corner of her mouth and looked at Ren, allowing herself to see him in this new light--the light of the forest. He glittered at his edges, and she giggled.

"Potent," Jaz said, breathlessly and feeling slightly giddy, her smiles coming readily. She laughed earnestly then, realizing she wanted to share this experience with Ren, too, through touch. But, maybe, the forest was already doing that for her.

Jaz was beginning to feel the shape of the forest's magic, different than the magic she had tapped into at the meadow. It reminded her more of the smoke of djinn, the air heavy with sentience.

Beings of the air and dew, Jaz thought, blue sparkles blinking gently in the back of her eyes again, like they had when Ren had soothed her. Maybe he had noticed it, too, and had tried to communicate it to her.

A tiny rustle caught Jaz's attention, and she looked across the creek to a tiny burrow in the mud of the bank. She could have sworn that a pair of tiny eyes blinked at her. Jaz looked at Ren, her eyes watering with delight.

"This place is very well loved. By everything nearby," Jaz said, aware that Ren might not follow her line of thought. Attempting to offer a bridge, she added, "I wasn't sure the other gods were more than stories." She nodded, the grief of that loss creeping into the edges of her awareness.

Returning to meet Ren's eyes, Jaz said, "Something about this place feels... admired... in that sort of way."

Jaz blinked and looked around, surprised by something. It set Ren on edge a little again, and he tried to follow her gaze to figure out what was catching her attention. A bug, maybe?

But then Jaz met his eyes again, her lips curled to a smile at one corner, and he relaxed again. She wasn't in distress. In fact, she let out a light giggle.

"Potent," she said, a little breathless, her smile growing. And then she laughed in earnest, and Ren finally smiled again himself, shaking his head a little. Had the sap intoxicated her?

Her gaze seemed to drift into the air again, more serene this time, but tracking something that Ren's senses just couldn't grasp. He relaxed into letting her explore that experience on her own, at least until she shifted her attention a little more suddenly across the creek. Ren glanced that direction as well then, his eyes landing on a small burrow. Perhaps Jaz had spotted its creator scampering into it.

Jaz brought her gaze back to Ren's again, her eyes watering with delight.

"This place is very well loved. By everything nearby," Jaz said. "I wasn't sure the other gods were more than stories. Something about this place feels... admired... in that sort of way."

Ren smiled gently to her, but his brows were drawn up a little--he wasn't sure that he was following, exactly. Maybe he could find his way there, though, he just needed a moment to connect the dots.

"Like, admired by the gods? Or... admired as the gods?" Ren could probably see some truth in it either way, but he wanted to try to figure out what Jaz was specifically trying to express.

Ren gave her a pitying smile, his brows pulled up and together in mild confusion.

"Like, admired by the gods? Or... admired as the gods?" he asked. At least he was genuinely trying to understand her.

She couldn't look at Ren for long or she might never stop looking. Was she seeing something inherent to him that was not usually visible or was this a projection of how she felt toward him? She might never know.

"Admired by the gods," Jaz said, hoping he would follow. "Other gods than mine. I'm enjoying getting to know them."

Jaz looked down at the ground, then, noticing the patchwork patterns of dried moss and little scurrying bugs, each of them with their own little shimmer outline. She blinked in wonder.

But, all at once, she felt a little overwhelmed, fatigued, maybe. It was all so achingly beautiful, but they had further to go and chickens to see and a whole other person to meet. How long would this effect last? She didn't want to wish it away, but she also felt far away from Ren. She felt lonely in the experience, and so soon after what had just happened, she didn't think Ren would appreciate sharing touch with her again.

Maybe she could be more descriptive about what was happening.

"There's a... glowing, crystalline outline on... everything. Plants, rocks, trees... you," Jaz said a little shyly. "It's gorgeous and brilliant and sort of too clear, too sharp." She laughed a little at herself--she had invited this in. She had made this choice and would need to bear the consequences. Well, at least she could still walk.

Bending down and pulling her bag around, Jaz sought out her canteen and took another swig of water, which cleared some of the sap's taste from her mouth. That helped, and she took a deep breath, closing her eyes a moment to calm herself. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked at Ren, the glowing outline around him a little easier to look at.

"I don't get the impression this will last long--I just feel a little dazed and... grateful. Overwhelmingly grateful to be here." With you, she added silently to herself. Her brows pulled up, and tears threatened, but she was smiling.

"Admired by the gods," Jaz said. "Other gods than mine. I'm enjoying getting to know them."

Ren smiled at that. He liked the idea that Jaz was getting to know his gods just by being here. He felt a gentle warmth in his chest, and a cool refreshing tingle on his arms, his feet comfortably solid against the ground.

"There's a... glowing, crystalline outline on... everything," Jaz said, and Ren refocused his gaze on her. "Plants, rocks, trees... you. It's gorgeous and brilliant and sort of too clear, too sharp." She laughed a little at herself, and Ren shook his head again, still smiling. She really was intoxicated, wasn't she?

Jaz dug around for her canteen and took a drink--probably wise. Ren dug out his own, too--some impulse to partake of something with her, maybe, or maybe just an impulse to make sure he himself was also hydrated. Maybe a little bit of both.

"I don't get the impression this will last long," Jaz said after. "I just feel a little dazed and... grateful. Overwhelmingly grateful to be here."

Jaz looked at Ren with a teary smile, and he offered a smile in return.

"Well, we're in no rush," he offered. He supposed, he didn't want her to feel like she had to try to shake off whatever was happening for her. "And... I'm glad you're getting to know the gods who love this forest." He worried, after the fact, that he might sound a little mawkish, but he resolved to let it stand. It was true. Sighing lightly at himself, he added, "Is there anything that you need?"