Written Wonderland

Ren returned Jaz's smile, sending a ricochet of excitement through her belly.

"Well, we're in no rush," Ren said, "and... I'm glad you're getting to know the gods who love this forest."

Jaz tried to accept Ren's words, but soon afterward, he sighed, and Jaz wasn't sure she could make sense of the contradiction. Was he upset with her? With himself? Why?

Her stomach twisted in a knot thinking about the image she had tried to send Ren from a distance. Maybe there was still repair to do there.

"Is there anything that you need?" he asked her.

She shook her head at first, her smile having faded toward neutrality, but then she looked up at Ren, hopeful and pleading. She was about to speak, to ask for reassurance, but she shook her head again, remembering the way he had touched her as she looked down at the fading blue pigment of her skin. Surely, they were all right.

At last, she said, "Will you tell me about your friend? While we walk?"

Jaz shook her head, but her smile had faded, her eyes taking on that pleading look again, which worried Ren a little. He watched quietly as she shook her head again and looked down at her arm where he'd touched her, the blue still lingering on her skin. Did she want more touch, maybe?

At last, she asked, "Will you tell me about your friend? While we walk?"

Ren offered a small smile and nodded.

"Of course."

He gestured with a nod and a slight pivot for Jaz to start following him, then, though he was patient in actually getting moving, waiting for her to look ready before he fully turned around. And, he didn't walk especially fast, content to be in stride with Jaz, to the extent that he could still lead the way.

He was quiet for a moment as they began to walk, contemplating what he wanted to say.

"She's lived here longer than me. I gather by quite a while. I'm not actually sure when she first came here. We haven't talked much about our pasts."

He let a small silence stand after that, giving him time to reflect on what he'd shared and what else he wanted to say.

"We trade gifts, mostly. She knows a lot about the forest, and has taught me a thing or two. We often carve or ... " he nearly said butcher, a matter-of-fact word for him when contemplating processing an animal into its component parts for food and tools and clothing, but with how Jaz had reacted to the eggs for breakfast, he thought better of it.

Instead, he said, "... prepare food together." He wondered if that made it sound like they often shared meals. He supposed they did on occasion, but it was more the long-term preparations that they did in each other's company, and work that two sets of hands made easier. Still, probably not worth clarifying.

"She's a bit less warm than Monica," he went on after a moment, "but she's always treated with me fairly and honestly."

Though, he did feel a small swell of warmth in his core when he thought about visiting her in the night. She could be warm. But, that wasn't exactly a detail he cared to share with Jaz.

He turned his gaze to Jaz, curious how his comments were landing, and leaving open a larger pause to invite her to ask questions.

Ren smiled a little and nodded, gesturing in the direction they should walk.

"Of course."

Jaz looked in the direction Ren had moved, at the new types of trees and a widening out that Jaz imagined was probably another meadow, though this one was maybe not as colorful as the one nearer to Ren's cabin. Still, the shimmering edges of her vision made Jaz smile as she took steps forward, falling in Ren's step.

After a while, Ren said, "She's lived here longer than me. I gather by quite a while. I'm not actually sure when she first came here. We haven't talked much about our pasts."

Jaz could see how that would be the case. If Ren hadn't accidentally commanded Jaz so many times, there would be little she knew about him right now. Yes, that seemed to be a theme with him. She doubted Monica knew very much about him either, though definitely more than Jaz did.

"We trade gifts, mostly. She knows a lot about the forest, and has taught me a thing or two. We often carve or... prepare food together." Though she had been looking at the path ahead and at Ren's feet, she brought her eyes up at Ren's hesitation. Why?

Ren didn't pause long enough for her to think very hard about it.

"She's a bit less warm than Monica," Ren added, "but she's always treated me fairly and honestly."

Jaz thought over the humans she had met so far, trying to make a comparison. Would she be like one of the shopkeepers, maybe?

There was a silent ripple through the air that made Jaz bite her lip, her breathing heavier for a moment. What was happening? Another effect of the sap?

When Ren looked at her, another ripple hit Jaz, and her lids momentarily got heavy. She was able to blink whatever it was away, though, as he was clearly looking for something from her.

"What kind of gifts?" Jaz asked a little breathlessly, her heartbeat quicker than it had been a moment ago.

Jaz's lids looked a little heavy, her voice breathy as she asked, "What kind of gifts?"

Ren instinctively tensed, closing himself off before he even fully realized why. In fact, he didn't dare to look at the reason. Instead, he just carried on as though nothing had changed, just a little more aloof, distant, hard to read, his eyes returned to the path ahead.

"Eggs, vegetables, ... other food. Things from town, sometimes. I go in more often than she does. Knowledge, labor." Ren shrugged, recognizing he wasn't sure how specific to get.

"I suppose today we're going to her hoping for some knowledge. I've got some vegetables and something I picked up for her from town recently, and I'll pick up some eggs when we stop by the chickens."

Beside her, Ren tensed, and that was the end of the ripples. Some of the headiness Jaz had felt dissipated and there were still colors around the edges of things, but it was easier to listen to Ren without being distracted.

"Eggs, vegetables... other food. Things from town, sometimes. I go in more often than she does. Knowledge, labor." Ren shrugged.

"I suppose today we're going to her hoping for some knowledge. I've got some vegetables and something I picked up for her from town recently, and I'll pick up some eggs when we stop by the chickens."

Jaz nodded, though she wasn't sure Ren could see her. She didn't know why Ren had tensed, and she looked around casually, looking for signs of danger, but the meadow and the trees kept their secrets.

Perhaps selfishly, Jaz was grateful that she wouldn't have to trade any more of her coins with Ren's friend. The idea of trading one thing for another made more sense to her. And, she found herself again feeling a bit sheepish that she didn't have many gifts to offer Ren in exchange.

She thought of some beautiful memories from her village that she might be able to share with him at some point, but now didn't seem like the right time, and it was so difficult to predict what would cause an uncomfortable reaction.

Then again, maybe Ren wanted his friend's information as much as Jaz did--it would certainly hasten her ability to leave if the knowledge was useful.

"If there is labor you might want me to do around your cabin or... food I could help you get, I would be happy to lend some help," Jaz said eventually. "And I have the coins and paper from the shop if you might want some of them." She paused, waiting to see if Ren might look back at her. "I would sing and brush your hair again, too, if that would be enjoyable. I hope you know I'm grateful for all this." She didn't fully understand the difference between a guest and a friend and when she might become one or the other, but there was clearly a culture of exchange here, and she didn't want to infringe on it.

"If there is labor you might want me to do around your cabin or... food I could help you get, I would be happy to lend some help. And I have the coins and paper from the shop if you might want some of them."

Jaz's words surprised Ren after the moment of quiet that had settled, and he shifted his gaze to her with his eyebrows slightly raised. She was... catching on, he supposed, to how most interactions in this world worked, which was good, and yet, he couldn't help a strange chagrined feeling, wishing he knew how to accurately impart to her what he had taken on in helping her.

Before he could think of a fitting reply, she continued.

"I would sing and brush your hair again, too, if that would be enjoyable. I hope you know I'm grateful for all this."

Ren grew warm again, softening and opening a little, his eyes darting to the side in a brief flush of bashfulness. He nodded, and was quiet for a moment, chewing on his words to move past a would-be command to advice that he wasn't even sure was true, trying to find what he actually wanted to say.

"I appreciated you cleaning the dishes this morning," he said with a small shrug as he brought his eyes back to Jaz, his chin a little more downturned than his usual posture. "And, I will teach you more ways to be helpful the longer you stay with me. I don't want you to feel anxious about paying me back for anything. I will let you know what I would like." Ren turned his gaze back toward the path that they walked, his posture straightening a little, but keeping a relaxed shape.

"You can rest very easy with that at the temple, too. Baer also, I'd say. She's not quite so generous--Monica sets a high bar for that--but, she's not likely to do anything for you she doesn't want to do." Ren drifted off for a moment, contemplating leaving things there, but he wanted to explain further.

"I did use the word 'trade', about the gifts that Baer and I exchange, but it's not the same as paying money at a shop. If we showed up today without anything, she might be slightly less inclined to help us, but she likely would still help regardless, unless she simply didn't want to either way. The gifts are not payment, but... just gestures of goodwill. Ways that I show that I think about her and enjoy contributing to her comfort. Sometimes we trade explicitly, this for that, but that's not what I'd call what we're doing today."

Ren frowned a little, worried he'd gotten too deep into an explanation that Jaz didn't actually need. But, for whatever reason, he very much wanted her to understand the difference, somehow. He turned to look at her again, his eyebrows drawn together earnestly.

"It was helpful that you cleaned the dishes this morning, but I would not have required it of you, and I would not count you in my debt had you declined."

Finally, a somber understanding sank in about the importance of this to him, and his eyes drifted down to the path before him, his posture stiffening and drawing tightly in on itself.

"There are some who would track every single interaction as a strict exchange. If you find yourself dealing with someone like that, I'd advise you to stay out of their debt as best you can and keep a good distance. They are parasites."

Ren's voice was sharp with vitriol as he spat that last word, his eyes glaring darkly down at the path as he walked. He felt embarrassed in the wake of it, heavy with a sensation like he'd said too much. Maybe he'd just confused Jaz, or scared her. How was she supposed to tell the difference? Even Ren struggled to more often than he cared to admit: flickering shadows and all that. Maybe Baer could also help him talk about this with Jaz, if that wasn't too much to ask.

Jaz looked at the back of Ren’s head as he walked ahead of her, though as the path began to open up, she made a point of coming to stand beside him. He nodded, his face somewhat flushed.

"I appreciated you cleaning the dishes this morning," he said with a shrug, meeting Jaz's gaze. Still, he looked stern as though he were about to chastise her. "And, I will teach you more ways to be helpful the longer you stay with me. I don't want you to feel anxious about paying me back for anything. I will let you know what I would like."

Ren turned his attention to the path again, and Jaz walked on with a new warmth in her belly. She liked the idea of Ren teaching her, and she was grateful that there were other ways she could be useful. Something about his last sentence, I will let you know what I like, sent a thrill through her chest every time she repeated it in her mind.

Her companion stood a little straighter as he added, "You can rest very easy with that at the temple, too. Baer also, I'd say. She's not quite so generous--Monica sets a high bar for that--but, she's not likely to do anything for you she doesn't want to do." Jaz nodded, believing that she understood.

Ren continued, "I did use the word 'trade', about the gifts that Baer and I exchange, but it's not the same as paying money at a shop. If we showed up today without anything, she might be slightly less inclined to help us, but she likely would still help regardless, unless she simply didn't want to either way. The gifts are not payment, but... just gestures of goodwill. Ways that I show that I think about her and enjoy contributing to her comfort. Sometimes we trade explicitly, this for that, but that's not what I'd call what we're doing today."

Ren frowned as Jaz considered this. The djinn had plenty of culture around gifts--they were often and freely given. It was confusing for there to be layers of gifting and payment, though, seemingly related to how well someone knew someone? Or how much they liked each other? Jaz thought back to the shopkeeper who had sold them the tent. There was plenty of warmth there, but perhaps it had been artificial. Jaz wasn't sure she could wrap her head around it fully without more examples. Maybe since Jaz's village was small, it was easier not to think about trades and payment--everything was based on relationship. Maybe in larger settlements that was less possible, though the thought made Jaz's stomach queasy.

Ren looked at her again, really wanting her to understand this, she supposed. She must have hit a nerve.

"It was helpful that you cleaned the dishes this morning, but I would not have required it of you, and I would not count you in my debt had you declined."

She thought about what it would have felt like if she had declined Ren's request about the dishes. He hadn't commanded her, but she did genuinely want to do it. At the very least, it had kept her hands busy while Ren finished other things in the cabin, and she had had a chance to visit the creek on her own. Not going... Maybe it would have been all right once, especially if there had been a reason for her refusal, but Jaz had a difficult time believing that Ren would stand for it happening repeatedly. Perhaps there was a limit to that kind of lenience.

Ren startled her from her thoughts when he spoke again, "There are some who would track every single interaction as a strict exchange. If you find yourself dealing with someone like that, I'd advise you to stay out of their debt as best you can and keep a good distance. They are parasites."

Somehow, Jaz had not expected Ren's tone to take such a turn. While she took solace in the fact that it seemed to have little to do with her, she did not envy the source of Ren's anger, and she briefly wondered if they fully deserved it. Surely they couldn't be all that bad?

But then Jaz remembered the stories and her own experience of the dark fae and the kinds of trades they offered--never fair to the person making them and often made out of desperation. Jaz shivered. But how was she supposed to respond to Ren now? There was a heavy silence between them.

"Sounds like there's a story there," Jaz said, daring some levity with a smirk in Ren's direction. "I take it not someone currently in town?" It would give her peace of mind to think that she wouldn't need to interact with that particular adventure just yet.

"Sounds like there's a story there. I take it not someone currently in town?"

Jaz's tone was lighthearted, which Ren supposed was good, though he wasn't sure how to match it. Perhaps it was fine not to; he still felt tense and heavy, deep in a shell he didn't want to emerge from. He could at least answer her, though.

"Yeah, no one in town. No one who's shown themself to be that way yet, anyway." He sighed a little, recognizing that hedging in that way probably wasn't very helpful to Jaz right now. He was quiet for a moment after, unsteady in where he wanted to go next.

"I certainly trust Baer and Monica on that front," He finally said with a small shrug, trying to at least start loosening something. "And.... I guess, I would like you to trust me on that front as well. I'm helping you because you need help, and you came to my doorstep, and I can help you. I'd..." he winced a little as his next thought arose, and he chewed on his words for a moment before sighing again.

"I suppose you don't owe me that trust yet, though."

One hand reached up to rub absent-mindedly at his chest, perhaps trying to soothe something there.

((OOC: Feeling like we're probably getting close to the chickens? lol. But brain def isn't gonna get to that shift tonight. I suppose, if inspired, feel free to hear clucking next post or spot one a little ways ahead or something? Or leave it, whatever flows lol.))

Ren was impassive beside her. Eventually, he answered.

"Yeah, no one in town. No one who's shown themself to be that way yet, anyway."

I will let you know what I like. Ren's phrase from earlier still ricocheted through Jaz's mind. She couldn't pin down quite why the phrase lit up all the nerves in her spine. Ren hadn't been especially forthcoming about his preferences, unless you counted the commands.

Ah, but maybe that was it. There was an anticipation that he might continue experimenting with her.

Parasites. Jaz frowned as that also ricocheted through her mind, curbing her fantasy.

Ren sighed and said, "I certainly trust Baer and Monica on that front." After a shrug, which seemed to shift some of his stony demeanor, he added, "And.... I guess, I would like you to trust me on that front as well. I'm helping you because you need help, and you came to my doorstep, and I can help you. I'd..."

He named exactly what she had been afraid of before she had even put words to it. Somehow, she had a hard time believing that someone who was trying to take advantage of her would be stumbling over their words so much.

"I suppose you don't owe me that trust yet, though," he finally said, his hand coming to rub at his chest as he walked. Jaz nodded, looking at the barely visible path ahead of them.

"If you were a parasite," Jaz said, speaking slowly and carefully, "you would have commanded me to do far worse by now." She looked at Ren and offered a solemn smile. Some part of her was, admittedly, still a little afraid of Ren, but the logic was sound. That is, as long as Ren wasn't somehow playing a long game that Jaz couldn't see. But, she couldn't see any incentive for that. At least for now, she was inclined to trust him.

((OOC: I think she probably has seen and/or heard the chickens, but I think they are so foreign to her that she hasn't quite registered them yet.))

"If you were a parasite," Jaz said, her voice slow and careful, "you would have commanded me to do far worse by now."

Ren let out a soft, breathy scoff of a chuckle, but fell somber in the silence that followed. He looked to Jaz, who was looking at him with her own somber smile, and he nodded tentatively. He appreciated that that was her current stance toward him, though he grimly wondered how true that assessment was in the larger scheme of things. No, while he did want Jaz's trust, the more he looked at the situation from her point of view... the more sure he was that he would not be trustful in her position, not yet.

In any case, the soft clucks of chickens were starting to enter his awareness -- had been for a moment, but now in the silence they really came into relief, pulling his attention forward again on the path. Then, he spotted one of the roosters down the way, pecking around for bugs, and he found his way back to a soft smile.

"Up ahead," he nodded in the direction, "that's one of the chickens."

Ren paused, then, taking off his pack to fish out a small cloth sack. By the time he was standing back up, though, the rooster had noticed them and run off.

"They're pretty skittish creatures--that's actually one of the braver ones of the flock. Some might come investigate once I spread the grain, though, especially if we give them space." He lifted the bag in his hand briefly, and continued walking a little ways further down the path before turning off, parting long grassy brush and pausing to ensure that Jaz was following.

One they came to a slightly more open area, Ren opened the small sack of grain and held it out so that Jaz could easily reach inside.

"Would you like to do the honors? I just scatter it around on the ground, they like to forage."

((OOC: Never did I ever think an rp with Ren would have me googling wild fowl behavior but here we are lol.))