Written Wonderland

"Thank you," Ren said, and Jaz thought maybe, just maybe, she had done something right by him. She breathed a sigh of relief.

Jaz heard giggling up ahead then, and she couldn't help taking a step closer to Ren to be more directly behind him. But Ren turned around and gave her a full--possibly even happy--grin and then put a finger to his lips. Jaz walked slowly with a bit of a smirk as she watched Ren sneak up toward the bend in the road ahead. Before Jaz knew it, Ren had picked up--picked up--a young, light-skinned girl with short black hair by the waist and turned her upside down playfully. She giggled and squealed, and Jaz's stomach clenched and rolled such that Jaz thought the berries might very well come back up. But, she managed to swallow everything back down and look on, grateful she had managed not to double over.

A blonde boy, maybe only a little older and with the same light skin, followed the girl and fell backward in surprise at the scene but quickly recovered. Jaz struggled not to find it odd that all of them looked ill to her.

"Ren!!!" The girl yelled happily, and the familiarity sent another lurch through Jaz's stomach. Good gods, she wasn't sure she could stand watching this. She looked away for a moment, taking a deep breath, trying to reason with herself. Clearly, this little girl had known Ren far longer than Jaz had, but somehow Jaz had believed that maybe Ren didn't really touch at all, but that was clearly not the case. So, it was just... Jaz, then. Her strangeness, her need, maybe. Or just the lack of time together. Gods.

"And just where are you two off to?" Ren asked with as much happiness as she had ever heard in his voice. She looked back at the girl, managing to get past her physical and emotional turmoil enough to be curious, for a moment.

"T-the creek," the boy stuttered, straightening his clothes.

"And your parents know?" Ren said, sobering a little.

"Yes!" the boy said, a little indignant. Ren smiled again and swung the girl back and forth upside down. It didn't look like a particularly comfortable position, but... well, it had been more than two days since Jaz had... There was a lot she'd be willing to do.

"And you, missy?" Ren asked the girl.

"Y-yes, yes!" Her feet pushing against Ren's chest and shoulder. Finally, he let her down right side up, and Jaz was about to breathe a sigh of relief, but then the girl hugged Ren, wrapping her arms all the way around him. And Ren reciprocated. And though the girl was half his height, the gesture was tender in a way that made Jaz's feet go numb. Her eyes watered and her fists clenched and unclenched. Finally, she pulled her own arms around herself and looked off into the distance, trying to play it off like she might be cold, though the sun was well into the sky now.

The blond boy noticed Jaz then, and she tried to stand up a little straighter, refusing to look over at Ren and the girl, but then the boy stepped out of her line of sight, and there was little else to distract her. Gods, she didn't expect this to get worse so suddenly. Her stomach really was threatening violence. Maybe those berries weren't such a good idea after all.

She wasn't sure how to properly greet the children, but she tried to unclench at least, letting her arms fall to her sides. Children were rare enough among the djinn, and though she wasn't sure what the status of children was for humans, she imagined they still deserved to be treated with respect.

"Hello," she said with a half-hearted smile, her voice awkwardly aimed at the ground more than anything as her fingers rubbed against her thumbs, fidgeting, "we're heading to see the priestess." Jaz figured that was innocuous enough information, but she still could not look anywhere near Ren and the girl. It was everything she could do not to run away and empty the contents of her stomach, sobbing.

Gods, why?

She knew, logically, she couldn't begrudge Ren this intimacy. She couldn't. But logic, this far away from home, was very nearly beyond her.

But wait, would the girl try to hug Jaz next? The djinn grew hopeful at the thought enough to stop her fidgeting and look toward Ren, eyes wide with the realization.

Jaz wouldn't look at him. Her eyes gazed unfocused off into the distance, arms wrapped around herself as though she were suddenly cold. Ren knew better. He felt a swell of guilt, but it dispersed quickly--he knew he hadn't done anything wrong in greeting the children, not really. In its wake was a tug of compassion, though, and very nearly an impulse to reach out and invite Jaz to take his hand. But he didn't.

Jaz managed to collect herself, in any case, her arms unwinding as she shyly approached the boy on the other side of Ren, just enough to put him back in her line of sight.

"Hello," Jaz said, prompting the girl clinging to Ren to realize there was someone she'd missed in all her excitement. She pulled out of the hug with Ren and looked at Jazz, but Ren moved his hand against her shoulder, gently pulling her back against him--a nonverbal warning that she heeded, though her expression looked rather puzzled about it.

Jaz's gaze was at the ground anyway, her fingers fidgeting with each other in front of her as she added, "we're heading to see the priestess."

"And we should get to that," Ren said before either of the kids could ask follow-up questions. "You two go on ahead to the creek." His voice was certainly more serious than it had been so far with the children, but still fairly light by comparison to the tone Jaz was used to.

"Okay," the kids both chimed in an off-beat chorus. Ren patted the girl's shoulder as she stepped away from him, and the boy shyly touched Ren's hand as he passed by the man. The children were both a little bit shier as they passed by Jaz; the boy only glanced briefly at her, but the girl did offer a shy smile and wave on her way past.

"Jaz," Ren said the djinn's name as soon as the kids were a few paces away, committed to their trajectory down the path. His voice was perhaps surprisingly full-bodied, but not a yell. It was commanding, maybe. He wanted to pull her attention to him... his hand stretched out toward her.

"I'd say we've reached the village, near enough."

"And we should get to that," Ren said, shaking the spark of hope from Jaz's eyes. "You two go on ahead to the creek." His voice left no room for argument, and the kids shuffled off, the boy clearly wary of Jaz. The girl did give a smile and a wave, which lifted Jaz's spirits somewhat. She returned the gesture on both accounts, though she didn't imagine her smile was very convincing. And, as the boy brushed past Ren, Jaz saw their hands brush shyly, sweetly, and Jaz closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath, embarrassment the only thing keeping her from crumpling toward the ground and holding onto herself.

She could not help looking for the kids again when she managed to open her eyes, but they had already disappeared down a path she couldn't quite make out.

"Jaz," Ren said, his voice intent enough to send shooting sparks from her throat to her stomach as her head immediately turned toward him. His hand lifted a little in her direction.

"I'd say we've reached the village, near enough," Ren said, and Jaz narrowed her eyes, confused. Then shouldn't they get on with it? Move past this little moment she was so thoroughly excluded from? He was just standing there with an outstretched hand... oh.

A whole new set of sparks shot through Jaz, and she took a step toward Ren before she could even think about it. She could practically feel his invitation, but... she was wary of it. Was it... intentional? Was she reading into something here? Did he still... want her to show him the... plants? Gods, somehow it seemed absurd to do that now while she was this jealous and uncomfortable and so deeply, deeply sad. Wouldn't he feel all of that from her?

And would she be able to stop with just his hand? Would she not want more of him, all of him? And what if touching him did hurt him?

Gods oh gods oh gods oh gods.

Jaz raised her eyebrows at Ren and finally took another step, moving slowly in case he wanted to pull away and to show him she could control herself. When she was close to Ren, close enough that their arms could brush if she wanted, Jaz tentatively reached her smallest finger toward his hand without touching him. She wanted him to close the distance if this was really what he wanted. She closed her eyes and mentally begged. And begged. And begged.

Please.

At first, Jaz looked skeptical and confused, maybe irate, even. Ren wasn't sure whether he felt amused or frustrated--he'd thought the gesture would have been clear, but maybe it wasn't.

Then again, Jaz seemed to realize something and take an eager step toward him. It tugged a slight smile back onto his lips, glad she'd figured it out. But, she was wary, hesitating. She raised her eyebrows at him, her next step toward him tentative and careful. He watched her, debating whether to reassure her or let this play out.

Could he reassure her, though? About the intention of his gesture, he supposed, but was that what she was actually worried about? The decision to finally do this was a risk, and he wasn't exactly confident in the wisdom of it. He supposed he figured, at worst someone would probably hear him if he yelled, or find him in not too long if Jaz incapacitated him somehow. Or, a little less extremely, she could go find help quickly if they needed it. But, maybe that was all entirely too pessimistic. Maybe nothing would happen. He was finally ready to find out.

But only if Jaz was ready, too.

She got close to him, maybe just too afraid to fully initiate the contact herself. Her arm could easily brush against his--her body could easily sway against his--but from there, the only gesture she made was her pinky finger, shyly reaching toward his. It was cute, if inexplicably heartbreaking.

"What are you afraid might happen?" He asked gently, his voice soft and inviting her ear close. He wanted to know if she was afraid of him or for him--or some combination of both.

She watched her finger and Ren's hand intently, but he didn't move any closer. Instead, he leaned toward her ear and said, softly, gently like a lover, "What are you afraid might happen?"

Her breath caught in her throat for a moment, her ache to touch him practically an electric current running along her ear, her jaw, her arm, her hand. There were a thousand things she could say, but what she uttered, a little breathlessly was, "I'm afraid I won't want to stop."

But his question made it clear now, didn't it? This was what he had intended? He would have pulled away by now if he didn't want this, right? And yet, her uncertainty made it extremely difficult to close the distance herself.

"Please," Jaz said in a voice to match how Ren had spoken to her, "Please... tell me to touch you. Tell me how you want me to touch you." Her breathing was almost ragged, and her body shivered slightly with anticipation.

Jaz' breath caught in her throat, and Ren couldn't help a sly smile. However nervous he might feel about whatever might happen if she touched him, he felt better knowing he could have an impact on her even before they touched.

"I'm afraid I won't want to stop," she said breathlessly.

Ren made a soft hum in response, contemplating the implications. He lamented a little that her response didn't really answer his underlying question, and more popped up in his mind to clarify - what was she afraid would happen if she didn't stop? Was it just worry about getting a taste of something, but not enough of it? Would that be more cruel than not touching her at all? Or was she afraid of overdoing something, of taking more than Ren could give of whatever nourishment she got from touch? Or... was she afraid of what Ren might do if she overstepped?

"Please," Jaz said, her voice soft and beckoning. "Please... tell me to touch you. Tell me how you want me to touch you."

Ren recalled the way she'd asked to move back in his cabin with a slow, parted-lip exhale as he watched her chest rise and fall, her body nearly tremble. Then after a breath, he let out a soft, amused little huff of air, as it occurred to him to be glad that he hadn't tried to start this interaction before the kids had come and gone. Finally, he gathered his resolve, settled on what he wanted to do next, and leaned even closer to her ear to murmur his first instruction.

"Touch your pinky finger to mine."

Jaz heard Ren's soft, gentle exhale out of his mouth from just above her head, his breath hot and close enough to feel against her hair, and she closed her eyes, trying to get something out of their proximity in the event he denied her. He huffed, then, a short sound that was almost a laugh, and Jaz prepared herself for the worst. She could do it--she could still pull away if she had to, but oh gods, it would hurt.

But then he leaned even closer to her ear somehow until his body was all she could see or think about, and said, "Touch your pinky finger to mine."

She let out her own breathy exhale, the relief flooding her mind and leaving her dazed even before she did anything. Far from wanting to give into the command immediately, she counted the beats between his words and the eventual disintegration of her restraint. One, two, three, four, five, six...

On the seventh, her resolve and ability to thwart the command wavered and collapsed entirely, and she moved her hand to grace his as she licked her lower lip. A small electric spark from static electricity shocked them both, causing Jaz to pull away the slightest bit momentarily before settling back in and sliding her smallest finger against his. Jaz closed her eyes and uttered a tiny moan at the small amount of friction, wishing so much to be smoke curled around and inside him. All of him. She knew she would want that, but she held herself steady. He had only told her to do this much.

Before long, though, it wasn't enough. Given only this, the tiniest of appetizers, her craving for touch crashed down around her, and quiet tears began rolling down her cheeks as she thought of the long, lonely walk down the mountain, the less than desirable encounter with the fae gatekeeper, the suspicion in Ren's voice that had cut her to the quick back in his cabin.

She didn't know how much was transferring to Ren. She hoped it wasn't more than was obvious from her outward display. But now that whatever floodgates existed between them were open--no matter how narrow--Jaz tried to focus on receiving from Ren. There was a trickle when she was used to roaring waters, and she made a small, impatient huff of a noise. But, she took a breath and calmed herself. She needed at least a second point of contact. One was too few.

But maybe she could make two points of contact with just their two fingers. She curved her finger so the fingertip of hers met the base of his, and his finger naturally mirrored hers so there was a ovular gap between them. Yes, that would do.

And then they were flowing. It was still not what she was accustomed to, but her body was responding and recovering. Her finger pulsed gently against Ren's until relief and pleasure flooded in from her finger and up through her hand into her arm. She was certain that she was giving Ren something, too, although she couldn't tell exactly what he would feel. She let out an excited breath, her mind still racing toward possibilities of more touch, more interactions, but maybe not out here on the road. This already felt so intimate, but gods she did not want to let him go.

Then, she remembered that he had asked about the plants. While her body soaked up the contact, she concentrated hard on the image of the leafy canopy she had reimagined earlier, staring up at the twin moons through the purple-black leaves. And then she thought of her favorite flower, as tall as she was, purple and blue with its yellow pollen reaching for the breeze and the sky; its six soft curving, conical petals swaying with the movement of the air; its blooms full and lush as they bushed from their base; their leafy tendrils kissing the ground.

She imagined sending both images down her arm and into her smallest finger toward and into Ren's. She sent them again and again hoping maybe, just maybe, one of them would get through. It was so little contact, but even this was divine, and Jaz was determined to make the most of it.

((OOC: Jaz's hand will be slowly turning blue again, and it will start creeping up her arm the longer they stay like this.))

Jaz exhaled, the sound of it caressing Ren's ears, but she didn't move. Not immediately, anyway. A few breathless heartbeats, waiting in the silence to see what would happen once she gave in to whatever it was she was resisting. Finally, Ren watched as Jaz licked her lower lip and moved her pinky to touch his--sending a brief shock through the both of them. He couldn't help startling slightly, though he was in some ways relieved that Jaz also pulled away, at least a hint of surprise in the gesture.

After a beat, she slid her finger against his again, this time with a soft caress instead of a sharp surprise. She moaned softly, and a chill of pleasure danced its way up into Ren's arm. He held himself steady, though, fairly determined to remain as unaffected as possible given how little he knew here. Instead, he kept his focus on her, watching intently as tears began to roll silently down her cheeks. An impulse rose to invite more touch at the sight -- to wrap his arm around her and pull her to him, offer what comfort he could for whatever she was feeling. Loneliness, among other things -- he couldn't necessarily say why, but he felt certain of that.

He steeled himself against the impulse, especially when Jaz let out a soft, impatient huff. He wasn't sure what it was about, but his first guess was that it was something of a pout, frustrated that this was the extent of their touch. Even if that wasn't it, the mere thought of that made it easy discard his brief impulse toward generosity, and refocus on just paying attention to what this present touch was doing.

To her credit, Jaz took a breath and calmed herself, getting over whatever the huff had been about. Then she curved her pinky finger slightly, touching just the tip and base of it to the tip and base of his, and it was like something clicked into place. There was a sudden pulse, gentle but startling. Ren almost pulled away, but the reflex dissipated before it reached his muscles, and instead, he found himself pulled to close his eyes--and he did. He heard her breathe excitedly, vividly imagined touching more of her--her waist, her neck, her heaving chest as she breathed. He let out a soft gasp of a breath, but then pushed out a slow and purposeful exhale in its wake, calming himself as he refocused on just the simple touch of their fingers.

Then, to his surprise, he found himself imagining the plants that Jaz had described to him earlier -- black-purple trees and a flower blooming in moonlight. It was so vivid, complete with twin moons in the sky. His attention focused on the flower, realizing it was much larger than he'd initially thought - near as tall as he was, in fact. It shone purple and blue with its yellow pollen reaching for the breeze and the sky; its six soft curving, conical petals swaying with the movement of the air; its blooms full and lush as they bushed from their base; their leafy tendrils kissing the ground.

It was beautiful, but so strange--even moreso when he remembered that Jaz had said she might be able to show him, that that might not have been his own imagination, so to speak. He opened his eyes, eager to refocus on the world he was used to, and he saw that Jaz's hand was blue where she touched him, the color slowly flushing through her skin.

Finally, Ren pulled his hand away from Jaz, and on the first hint that she might move to re-establish contact, he said firmly, "Stop."

He wasn't angry - she'd done exactly as he'd bid her to do - but he was just... uncomfortable. He needed some space again, to ensure his head was clear maybe, or just to assess his own body. That had been a risk--an experiment--and he wanted to assess the results. He held his hand out in front of him, curiously inspecting his own pinky. It was its usual color, perhaps a bit red with warmth and blood flow. He felt... unsteady, maybe, his heart beating like he'd just hiked up a steep hill. But he couldn't deny it was a pleasant exertion--if exertion was even the right word, exactly. His breath didn't match his heartbeat in that sense--it was subtle and weighty, and as he paid attention to it, he thought again of the brief fantasy he'd had of touching Jaz's chest while she breathed.

Ren lowered his hand to his side and turned his gaze back to Jaz again, ready to assess whatever state she was in.

((OOC: We assumed 'stop' would work the way he expected, at least for the few moments he spends assessing himself, but if you think Jaz would have touched him during that time, we can rework it.))

Deciding that, if he was able to see the images she sent, it would have happened for him by now, she set to simply enjoying the touch, soaking as much of it in as possible from this tiny amount of contact, but just as she thought she was getting comfortable and heading toward contentment, Ren pulled his hand away. She opened her eyes and looked at him, panicked, searching. Out of sheer impulse, she started to raise a hand to his face, wanting to comfort him.

"Stop," he said before she even remotely realized she had been moving. Her hand stilled halfway between them, and she winced, her body fully catching up to how much touching two fingers together was not enough. A wave and jolt of longing coursed through her visibly, and she squeezed her eyes shut, stepping back to try to play off her body's involuntarily movements.

She opened her eyes again, looking down, and was surprised to see her hand up to her wrist was blue again. She marveled at it a moment and then cradled it in the other arm, placing the warmth of it to her face lovingly with a gentle sigh.

Suddenly embarrassed and tempted to hide her hand behind herself, Jaz looked again at Ren where he was certainly watching her. She dropped her hand, shrugging a little. "I guess that's going to happen. My skin would normally all be..." Her eyes began to water again, and she furiously wiped the previously tears off her face as though angry at them.

Meanwhile, she kept seeing in her mind's eyes the gentle caress of Ren's hand against the back of the young girl's head as they embraced. She blinked, trying without success to clear the image.

((OOC: she'd probably say something to try to distract him right quick here, but we thought we would give him a chance to interject.))

Ren watched as Jaz held her blue hand against her cheek, clearly finding warmth and comfort in it. There was a tug to comfort her again, but he remained still. She realized he was looking and quickly dropped her hand, hiding it momentarily behind her back before shrugging a little and letting it fall to her side again.

"I guess that's going to happen," she said. "My skin would normally all be..." She trailed off at that, her eyes beginning to water before she furiously wiped the tears away. Ren frowned and averted his gaze; if he wasn't going to give her comfort, the tug in his chest demanded he at least afford her a moment of privacy.

"I see," he said, feeling the need to fill the space with something, useless though it may be. It was awfully odd to imagine a person with blue skin--unnatural... much like black-purple trees and moon-blooming flowers. He didn't want to begrudge her simply being different, though. It just would take some time to get used to.

He drew his gaze back to her, his eyebrows furrowing slightly, perhaps with a note of apology.

"Well, it doesn't seem to have harmed me at all..." he said, offering a light shrug of his own. He briefly contemplated offering her more touch--it seemed so painfully obvious that she wanted it, especially if her skin was discolored by its lack. But, while apparently harmless, it had been rather intimate, and in the very least, he wasn't keen to sink back into it there on the road where more kids might pass by to join the first two at the creek.

"Let's get you to the priestess," he said, nodding down the road and beginning to take a step that way, but then he paused, the tug in his chest still pulling strong. He sighed, and then pivoted back toward Jaz, looking at her seriously... if with a subtle blush starting to bloom on his cheeks

"Would you be able to... walk, and hold hands? Would you want that?"

Maybe the initial touch was so intimate precisely because of how big of a deal they had made it. If she could benefit from something more casual right now, he wanted to at least offer that, instead of assuming it wasn't possible.