Yukiko was nearly beaming by the end of Mizu's culminating speech. Oh, she was ecstatic to tell her troops about everything! She felt sorry for the captains who were more uncomfortable with the situation--Miller and Bronwen she'd certainly picked out--but she felt she'd done what she could for them in her brief theological debate with Miller. Everything else, she believed, would have to be between them and their own hearts--or gods, or whatever they needed to look to.
She looked to Evan before she left, but seemed he was done being the least bit open with her; he very stubbornly kept his gaze away. She sighed lightly, but didn't let it get to her. He was slow to get over things, that one, and honestly, much like his more prudish counterparts, whatever else he needed to do was between him and whatever parts of him still clung to their pain. Maybe he'd never get over it, which would be a shame, but not Yukiko's call, and she could respect that.
Yukiko went ahead and filed out with the rest of the captains, quickly turning her mind back to how best to start spreading word amongst her troops.
Evan was honestly lingering by Mizu, and not exactly being subtle about it, though he tossed a death glare at anyone who looked like they might be too curious about why he might be staying behind. Then again, he seemed to be having quite the internal debate about something, as once or twice he did turn to start to leave, but then huffed quietly and remained where he was. And even when the last of the other captains had left, Evan clearly hesitated speaking.
"The king stole her child." He finally mumbled, "I don't know that it's Ponderance, but if it is... that seemed too complicated to share widely right now, aside from it also honestly being a really fucking private thing she shared with me. But, I thought you should know."
He kept his gaze averted from Mizu, his face red and his expression clearly torn about having shared that information. But it was almost certainly going to come out sometime, and hell, especially having just been reminded of how much it fucking hurt to feel his loyalty questioned, he didn't want to have been someone who hid that information from his commander. He just really fucking hoped she'd agree that it was best handled real fucking carefully for the forseeable future to he didn't immediately look like a total ass.
Part 1 (Start Reading Here)
Moderator: On Dreams And Desire
Re: Part 1
Mizu expected Evan to have more to tell her after the meeting, but she was completely unprepared for what Evan said after the other captains filed out. Ponderance was the child of the king and the goddess? Or, at least, that was a possibility. And hadn't Evan said that the goddess had an interest in seeing Ponderance on the throne? Yes, that definitely made the most sense now. The pieces of this cosmic puzzle began to settle in Mizu's mind, and what had once seemed disconnected and arbitrary started to align itself into some pattern she could understand. This war they were fighting was, in some ways, just an extension of the king's mistreatment of the goddess--though Mizu doubted the goddess was faultless--and this made everything they were dealing with a lot more powerful.
Still... this did mean they had the son of a goddess in their camp with very little knowledge of what he might be capable of. But, he hadn't done anything supernatural yet... Surely he would have if he wanted to escape, right? Or did he not know his lineage either? Best to keep that information from him, at minimum.
Mizu took one step back from Evan but otherwise kept her neutral expression intact. She dropped her eyes from Evan when she registered his blush and fully believed that he resented giving up this piece of information. If she didn't know better, the commander might have assumed that he had more loyalty to the goddess than he did to her, but she reminded herself that he did still force himself to say this, although she wondered if there would soon come a time where he wouldn't--or couldn't--offer up similar information.
She was, however, grateful Evan did not say this to the captains during the meeting. Something of that nature, especially with things as precarious as they were, might send the army into an uproar and spur more doubt than they could stomach. No, it was better that this wasn't shared widely. At least, not yet.
"This is unexpected, but it makes sense," Mizu began, one finger curling under her lip as she thought. Dealing with Ponderance as he grew and became their figurehead was going to be even more complicated that she had originally thought. "I do think we should hold this information in confidence, but I'd like you to find and tell Captain Fujiwara. We have no idea what Ponderance could be capable of." That might also resolve the tension Mizu had picked up between the two captains. She had not wanted to speculate on it before, but perhaps it was time. While she did almost want an excuse to speak to Yukiko again herself, Evan needed to get comfortable with his role as ambassador in this situation, and this was part of it.
While the commander wanted to make some request for Evan to ask the goddess what being her child really entailed, she decided against it. If the child himself was a sensitive topic for her, Mizu couldn't imagine prying into it would go well, and Evan already came back with bandages this last time.
"That aside, how is the negotiation process going with her? Is it likely that she will continue to cooperate?"
Still... this did mean they had the son of a goddess in their camp with very little knowledge of what he might be capable of. But, he hadn't done anything supernatural yet... Surely he would have if he wanted to escape, right? Or did he not know his lineage either? Best to keep that information from him, at minimum.
Mizu took one step back from Evan but otherwise kept her neutral expression intact. She dropped her eyes from Evan when she registered his blush and fully believed that he resented giving up this piece of information. If she didn't know better, the commander might have assumed that he had more loyalty to the goddess than he did to her, but she reminded herself that he did still force himself to say this, although she wondered if there would soon come a time where he wouldn't--or couldn't--offer up similar information.
She was, however, grateful Evan did not say this to the captains during the meeting. Something of that nature, especially with things as precarious as they were, might send the army into an uproar and spur more doubt than they could stomach. No, it was better that this wasn't shared widely. At least, not yet.
"This is unexpected, but it makes sense," Mizu began, one finger curling under her lip as she thought. Dealing with Ponderance as he grew and became their figurehead was going to be even more complicated that she had originally thought. "I do think we should hold this information in confidence, but I'd like you to find and tell Captain Fujiwara. We have no idea what Ponderance could be capable of." That might also resolve the tension Mizu had picked up between the two captains. She had not wanted to speculate on it before, but perhaps it was time. While she did almost want an excuse to speak to Yukiko again herself, Evan needed to get comfortable with his role as ambassador in this situation, and this was part of it.
While the commander wanted to make some request for Evan to ask the goddess what being her child really entailed, she decided against it. If the child himself was a sensitive topic for her, Mizu couldn't imagine prying into it would go well, and Evan already came back with bandages this last time.
"That aside, how is the negotiation process going with her? Is it likely that she will continue to cooperate?"
Re: Part 1
Evan nodded softly but kept his gaze aimed at the ground when Mizu said she wanted him to talk to Yukiko. He couldn't say he was surprised by the request; the thought that the captain looking after Ponderance should probably know had certainly crossed his mind too. Not that it was gonna be pleasant, but he also wasn't gonna be a baby about talking to her. As far as Mizu knew, Evan and Yukiko were merely co-captains in an army, though he was aware he hadn't exactly been subtle about his discomfort with her.
He was almost prepared to leave, but then Mizu asked him about the negotiations in more general terms, which prompted him to return his gaze to her, for some reason surprised. He thought about the question, though, and gave a slight shrug and nod in reply.
"I'm not sure what it'll take to get her to release the Shel'ti, but she is playing ball. She seems to be good for her word, and as far as I can tell she's mostly just seeing what she can get away with regarding me personally; she's not really pushing boundaries on agreements we've reached regarding tactics in the war."
He was almost prepared to leave, but then Mizu asked him about the negotiations in more general terms, which prompted him to return his gaze to her, for some reason surprised. He thought about the question, though, and gave a slight shrug and nod in reply.
"I'm not sure what it'll take to get her to release the Shel'ti, but she is playing ball. She seems to be good for her word, and as far as I can tell she's mostly just seeing what she can get away with regarding me personally; she's not really pushing boundaries on agreements we've reached regarding tactics in the war."
Re: Part 1
Mizu nodded once as her eyebrows came slightly closer together in something of a sympathetic expression. It only flickered, though, before returning to neutral.
"As surreal as all of this is," Mizu said, after a moment of staring off into the distance toward the tent flaps, "I am grateful that you are taking it seriously. I'm impressed at how personally meaningful it is to you, and I... respect your decision to summon the goddess."
She paused for a moment, allowing that to sink in before returning her gaze to Evan and letting it grow more intense as if to say, but seriously, don't pull that again.
"Is there anything else you need to tell me, Captain?" Mizu asked finally.
"As surreal as all of this is," Mizu said, after a moment of staring off into the distance toward the tent flaps, "I am grateful that you are taking it seriously. I'm impressed at how personally meaningful it is to you, and I... respect your decision to summon the goddess."
She paused for a moment, allowing that to sink in before returning her gaze to Evan and letting it grow more intense as if to say, but seriously, don't pull that again.
"Is there anything else you need to tell me, Captain?" Mizu asked finally.
Re: Part 1
Evan's first instinct was to snap back that of course he was taking this seriously, but he was glad he held his tongue. What followed was praise from Mizu, which caught him off-guard, and his expression absolutely showed it. He mentally fumbled for a second about how to appropriately respond, but Mizu cut him off with another question, this one open-ended and prompting Evan to scrape his brain for any last pieces he ought to convey.
He supposed there was one more thing...
"I did also learn that her control over people she possesses in our realm is tenuous. I... offered to have her speak to you through me, and-- ... it was a process, for her to possess me in her realm. We also discovered that that kind of possession isn't possible here, at least right now. As soon as I came back through the portal..." Evan's expression was hard and pained, and quite possibly sorrowful. He had to pause briefly and swallow down a lump in his throat as he pulled his mind away from the sensation of separating from the goddess and that indescribably beautiful flow.
"She was gone."
He couldn't help letting that ring in the air with every bit of reverence it deserved before continuing on.
"Her willingness to speak with you is there, but we don't know how, short of I guess another summoning; I didn't get the chance to ask her if that would be amenable. My only other idea right now is to try one of Xavier's charms. She--" Evan's cheeks suddenly reddened again, realizing that the goddess' intrusion on him and Xavier the other day was in fact relevant. Surely he didn't have to divulge details about that, though?
"I don't think she fully realizes the effect they have, but I believe the old woman was correct that they make possession both easier for the goddess and safer for the person she's possessing. With a charm she might be able to possess me for a short time to speak with you directly without the big to-do of a summoning, but I'm not sure."
He supposed there was one more thing...
"I did also learn that her control over people she possesses in our realm is tenuous. I... offered to have her speak to you through me, and-- ... it was a process, for her to possess me in her realm. We also discovered that that kind of possession isn't possible here, at least right now. As soon as I came back through the portal..." Evan's expression was hard and pained, and quite possibly sorrowful. He had to pause briefly and swallow down a lump in his throat as he pulled his mind away from the sensation of separating from the goddess and that indescribably beautiful flow.
"She was gone."
He couldn't help letting that ring in the air with every bit of reverence it deserved before continuing on.
"Her willingness to speak with you is there, but we don't know how, short of I guess another summoning; I didn't get the chance to ask her if that would be amenable. My only other idea right now is to try one of Xavier's charms. She--" Evan's cheeks suddenly reddened again, realizing that the goddess' intrusion on him and Xavier the other day was in fact relevant. Surely he didn't have to divulge details about that, though?
"I don't think she fully realizes the effect they have, but I believe the old woman was correct that they make possession both easier for the goddess and safer for the person she's possessing. With a charm she might be able to possess me for a short time to speak with you directly without the big to-do of a summoning, but I'm not sure."
Re: Part 1
Mizu listened to Evan's explanations, noting the places where he colored, his words only deepening her belief that this was genuinely what he wanted to be doing. A warmth filled her that she could not readily explain, even to herself. If she had to, she supposed she might say that she, too, felt like she was exactly where she needed to be and was grateful that Evan knew the feeling.
When Evan finished speaking, Mizu said, "While I would appreciate the ability to speak to the goddess directly, I trust your word currently, and there are more important matters at stake. If it would be difficult to have a direct audience with her now, perhaps we can wait until she is unbound. At the very least, I should like to strategize with her before we march." Mizu tried not to think too terribly hard about the absurdity of negotiating strategy with a goddess and moved past it quickly, looking to Evan to see if he had anything else to discuss.
((OOC: Evan's welcome to leave whenever; she doesn't have much else to say.
))
When Evan finished speaking, Mizu said, "While I would appreciate the ability to speak to the goddess directly, I trust your word currently, and there are more important matters at stake. If it would be difficult to have a direct audience with her now, perhaps we can wait until she is unbound. At the very least, I should like to strategize with her before we march." Mizu tried not to think too terribly hard about the absurdity of negotiating strategy with a goddess and moved past it quickly, looking to Evan to see if he had anything else to discuss.
((OOC: Evan's welcome to leave whenever; she doesn't have much else to say.
))Re: Part 1
Evan felt an uncoiling in his chest; a tight knot releasing that he hadn't realized had been there. Mizu trusted his word again, at least for now. Thank the fucking gods.
He collected himself from that warm unravelling, and then nodded to Mizu, relieved that she didn't consider speaking with the goddess to be a high priority right now.
"I'll go ahead and check in with Captain Fujiwara, then, and I'll focus on the Shel'ti soldiers tonight."
When it looked like Mizu was satisfied with their exchange, he went ahead and turned to head out and go get this next conversation fuckin over with.
---
It took some looking to track down Yukiko; she wasn't with Ponderance, nor in her own tent. In fact, turned out she was out and about on a stroll chatting with one of her lieutenants. Evan caught sight of them and met Yukiko's gaze, though promptly rolled his eyes when her smile turned entirely too bright. Ugh. He wanted her to know he was still fuckin pissed with her. Her expression chilled into more of its usual insufferable niceness, and she dismissed her lieutenant before practically godsdamned skipping over to where Evan had planted his feet when he saw her.
"Captain Rutliff." She greeted entirely too warmly. Evan scoffed.
"We need to talk," he said sharply, "Privately."
Yukiko had to stop herself from grinning about the playful innuendos she wanted to make.
"Let's head to my tent," she offered, figuring Evan would have offered his tent if he very much cared, and honestly, she had a hunch she'd prefer to talk in hers. Not sensing any immediate objections, she turned to lead the way, and Evan followed. He wasn't especially tense, which seemed promising, though he was certainly guarded.
Yukiko had some cushions already laid out, and went ahead and lightly took a seat on one, gesturing for Evan to take another. He walked up next to it, and shifted his weight, feeling more comfortable remaining standing. He fixed his eyes on Yukiko with a frown, now suddenly unsure how he wanted to approach the information he needed to give her. She waited patiently as ever, which honestly kind of pissed him off. Her acting like everything was fine when it wasn't had always driven him fucking crazy. Quite frankly it was kind of tempting to just start with that, but Evan managed to swallow the impulse and get more to the point.
"What the king stole from the goddess... It was her child." he said, liking how the point-blank approach had worked with Mizu and hoping--figuring honestly--it'd go down with Yukiko just as well.
Sure enough, the captain's expression was unchanged as she sat on her cushion, waiting expectantly for Evan to go on. Or, at least, she did for a moment; when Evan's eyes blinked to the side and his frown hinted he might not know what to say next, Yukiko sat forward and prompted him.
"And you're telling me because Ponderance is the goddess' child?"
Evan's gaze returned to Yukiko sharply, irritated with how quickly and calmly she came to that conclusion. Not that it was unreasonable, but fuck, did anything phase her?
"He could be, yeah. I don't know for sure, but it'd make sense. I told Mizu, and she agreed you should know, but we want to keep that information contained, especially since it's uncertain."
"Yeah, for sure." Yukiko nodded, grateful to be in the loop. She tilted her head slightly, then, and really gave Evan a once-over. She wanted to ask a million questions, but knew her window with him would be short, or at least tenuous. She was kind of amazed he wasn't already storming out of her tent, now that he'd delivered what she assumed was the required information. Unless there was more? If so, he certainly wasn't jumping on it... nah, time to seize the opportunity, while she had it.
"How are you holding up?" she asked, doing her very best to leave lasciviousness out of her tone, even though a part of her brain really wanted to head that direction. Evan eyed her incredulously, so she added, "Seems like you're having to juggle a lot of things, here. I hope you know you don't have to do it all by yourself."
At that, Evan rolled his eyes pretty melodramatically. Ugh, he fucking knew she'd try to make friends again, which was exactly fucking why he never wanted to talk to her. A part of him wanted to just storm off to get it through her thick fucking skull that things couldn't just magically be better between them, but he found himself not wanting to. Truth told...
"I... appreciated you taking on Miller in the meeting. That's really the shit I can't handle right now."
Yukiko happily wrinkled her nose in a way that cut at Evan's chest. Ughhhh.
"Yeah, that one's a prude all right." She replied, almost giggly. "At least I didn't have to fend off Blake at the same time."
"Heh, yeah, she--" Evan started, but hesitated, though he wasn't sure why. He chalked it up to feeling torn about talking conversationally with Yukiko, but fuck it, he wanted to. "--Found out I summoned the goddess behind Mizu's back yesterday. I guess she got out all her objections then. Was a fuckin bitch about it, too."
"Gods, how was that, anyway?" Yukiko asked eagerly, "I mean, summoning a goddess. That goddess no less! I remember--" she cut herself off there, realizing she'd started to let some lasciviousness into her smirk just then. Evan probably wouldn't appreciate references to intimate moments in their past, which his glare just now certainly confirmed.
Glare delivered, Evan took his eyes from Yukiko, shifted his weight, and tapped his fingertips against his thigh as he thought. How the fuck should he even answer that question? He could go a million different ways with it, but what way did he want to go with Yukiko? Or did he not want to go any way and just fucking leave already? But, no, his feet were still glued to the spot. Ughhhh whyyyy?
"It was intense." He said after a moment, hoping that speaking one truth about it would inspire another that he actually wanted to say. Didn't he want to make Yukiko jealous, and wouldn't this be a perfect opportunity? He finally let himself smirk about it, and returned his gaze to Yukiko with a bit of a sideways tilt. "All the weight of a military negotiation, all the exhilaration of a mutual seduction."
Hell, in a way, he had to admit, he'd been kinda dying to brag to someone besides Xavier about it. He had mixed feelings about the fact that Yukiko looked delighted with what he'd just said, but he decided he was just as glad to be talking about with someone who wasn't making it weird one way or another. Not that his feelings about Yukiko and how they related to the situation with the goddess were really any less complicated than his feelings about Xavier, but they were different, at the very least, and he had to admit that was refreshing.
"That all you gonna give me, you tease?" Yukiko asked giddily, and the refreshing tone to the conversation melted. She was calling him a tease? Evan knew she meant it playfully but damn. Sometimes he couldn't tell if Yukiko punched buttons on purpose or if she really was that godsdamned oblivious.
"I really should go rest up," he said a little stiffly, his grin fading back into a guarded frown. Yukiko sat back on her cushion slightly, disappointed but trying to contain it.
"Good luck tonight." She offered. Evan nodded a bit gruffly, and then slipped out of her tent.
---
He'd been planning to go see Xavier after getting all that over with, but now he wasn't so sure that was the best idea. On top of feeling a bit emotionally scrambled, he should probably actually eat something, maybe see about getting fresh bandages before going back to the goddess... ideally, he supposed, come up with an offering for her, whatever the fuck that meant.
He sighed, put on his 'do not approach' face, and went about camp doing the relatively boring but necessary chore of taking care of his body as best he could. He even decided to take a dip into the woods after he ate to freshen up a bit in the stream the camp had been using. Once all that was done, he wondered again on if he wanted to go track Xavier down; he probably had enough time before sundown to be worth it. But, gods, his body ached, and while some good ole solitary time in the woods made for a decent enough mood, he could tell his emotions were just a tick away from being a fucking mess. Maybe it would be best to just not? But, guh, that felt shitty. Then again, he'd also given Xavier an invitation to his tent... maybe the lieutenant would come by again if he wanted to, and if not... well, Evan couldn't deny he'd be disappointed, but maybe that really would be for the best.
Finally some semblance of resolved on that question, Evan started heading back towards his tent, but looked much more approachable this stroll through the camp, now that he felt he'd checked off all the boxes he needed to before seeing the goddess tonight.
He collected himself from that warm unravelling, and then nodded to Mizu, relieved that she didn't consider speaking with the goddess to be a high priority right now.
"I'll go ahead and check in with Captain Fujiwara, then, and I'll focus on the Shel'ti soldiers tonight."
When it looked like Mizu was satisfied with their exchange, he went ahead and turned to head out and go get this next conversation fuckin over with.
---
It took some looking to track down Yukiko; she wasn't with Ponderance, nor in her own tent. In fact, turned out she was out and about on a stroll chatting with one of her lieutenants. Evan caught sight of them and met Yukiko's gaze, though promptly rolled his eyes when her smile turned entirely too bright. Ugh. He wanted her to know he was still fuckin pissed with her. Her expression chilled into more of its usual insufferable niceness, and she dismissed her lieutenant before practically godsdamned skipping over to where Evan had planted his feet when he saw her.
"Captain Rutliff." She greeted entirely too warmly. Evan scoffed.
"We need to talk," he said sharply, "Privately."
Yukiko had to stop herself from grinning about the playful innuendos she wanted to make.
"Let's head to my tent," she offered, figuring Evan would have offered his tent if he very much cared, and honestly, she had a hunch she'd prefer to talk in hers. Not sensing any immediate objections, she turned to lead the way, and Evan followed. He wasn't especially tense, which seemed promising, though he was certainly guarded.
Yukiko had some cushions already laid out, and went ahead and lightly took a seat on one, gesturing for Evan to take another. He walked up next to it, and shifted his weight, feeling more comfortable remaining standing. He fixed his eyes on Yukiko with a frown, now suddenly unsure how he wanted to approach the information he needed to give her. She waited patiently as ever, which honestly kind of pissed him off. Her acting like everything was fine when it wasn't had always driven him fucking crazy. Quite frankly it was kind of tempting to just start with that, but Evan managed to swallow the impulse and get more to the point.
"What the king stole from the goddess... It was her child." he said, liking how the point-blank approach had worked with Mizu and hoping--figuring honestly--it'd go down with Yukiko just as well.
Sure enough, the captain's expression was unchanged as she sat on her cushion, waiting expectantly for Evan to go on. Or, at least, she did for a moment; when Evan's eyes blinked to the side and his frown hinted he might not know what to say next, Yukiko sat forward and prompted him.
"And you're telling me because Ponderance is the goddess' child?"
Evan's gaze returned to Yukiko sharply, irritated with how quickly and calmly she came to that conclusion. Not that it was unreasonable, but fuck, did anything phase her?
"He could be, yeah. I don't know for sure, but it'd make sense. I told Mizu, and she agreed you should know, but we want to keep that information contained, especially since it's uncertain."
"Yeah, for sure." Yukiko nodded, grateful to be in the loop. She tilted her head slightly, then, and really gave Evan a once-over. She wanted to ask a million questions, but knew her window with him would be short, or at least tenuous. She was kind of amazed he wasn't already storming out of her tent, now that he'd delivered what she assumed was the required information. Unless there was more? If so, he certainly wasn't jumping on it... nah, time to seize the opportunity, while she had it.
"How are you holding up?" she asked, doing her very best to leave lasciviousness out of her tone, even though a part of her brain really wanted to head that direction. Evan eyed her incredulously, so she added, "Seems like you're having to juggle a lot of things, here. I hope you know you don't have to do it all by yourself."
At that, Evan rolled his eyes pretty melodramatically. Ugh, he fucking knew she'd try to make friends again, which was exactly fucking why he never wanted to talk to her. A part of him wanted to just storm off to get it through her thick fucking skull that things couldn't just magically be better between them, but he found himself not wanting to. Truth told...
"I... appreciated you taking on Miller in the meeting. That's really the shit I can't handle right now."
Yukiko happily wrinkled her nose in a way that cut at Evan's chest. Ughhhh.
"Yeah, that one's a prude all right." She replied, almost giggly. "At least I didn't have to fend off Blake at the same time."
"Heh, yeah, she--" Evan started, but hesitated, though he wasn't sure why. He chalked it up to feeling torn about talking conversationally with Yukiko, but fuck it, he wanted to. "--Found out I summoned the goddess behind Mizu's back yesterday. I guess she got out all her objections then. Was a fuckin bitch about it, too."
"Gods, how was that, anyway?" Yukiko asked eagerly, "I mean, summoning a goddess. That goddess no less! I remember--" she cut herself off there, realizing she'd started to let some lasciviousness into her smirk just then. Evan probably wouldn't appreciate references to intimate moments in their past, which his glare just now certainly confirmed.
Glare delivered, Evan took his eyes from Yukiko, shifted his weight, and tapped his fingertips against his thigh as he thought. How the fuck should he even answer that question? He could go a million different ways with it, but what way did he want to go with Yukiko? Or did he not want to go any way and just fucking leave already? But, no, his feet were still glued to the spot. Ughhhh whyyyy?
"It was intense." He said after a moment, hoping that speaking one truth about it would inspire another that he actually wanted to say. Didn't he want to make Yukiko jealous, and wouldn't this be a perfect opportunity? He finally let himself smirk about it, and returned his gaze to Yukiko with a bit of a sideways tilt. "All the weight of a military negotiation, all the exhilaration of a mutual seduction."
Hell, in a way, he had to admit, he'd been kinda dying to brag to someone besides Xavier about it. He had mixed feelings about the fact that Yukiko looked delighted with what he'd just said, but he decided he was just as glad to be talking about with someone who wasn't making it weird one way or another. Not that his feelings about Yukiko and how they related to the situation with the goddess were really any less complicated than his feelings about Xavier, but they were different, at the very least, and he had to admit that was refreshing.
"That all you gonna give me, you tease?" Yukiko asked giddily, and the refreshing tone to the conversation melted. She was calling him a tease? Evan knew she meant it playfully but damn. Sometimes he couldn't tell if Yukiko punched buttons on purpose or if she really was that godsdamned oblivious.
"I really should go rest up," he said a little stiffly, his grin fading back into a guarded frown. Yukiko sat back on her cushion slightly, disappointed but trying to contain it.
"Good luck tonight." She offered. Evan nodded a bit gruffly, and then slipped out of her tent.
---
He'd been planning to go see Xavier after getting all that over with, but now he wasn't so sure that was the best idea. On top of feeling a bit emotionally scrambled, he should probably actually eat something, maybe see about getting fresh bandages before going back to the goddess... ideally, he supposed, come up with an offering for her, whatever the fuck that meant.
He sighed, put on his 'do not approach' face, and went about camp doing the relatively boring but necessary chore of taking care of his body as best he could. He even decided to take a dip into the woods after he ate to freshen up a bit in the stream the camp had been using. Once all that was done, he wondered again on if he wanted to go track Xavier down; he probably had enough time before sundown to be worth it. But, gods, his body ached, and while some good ole solitary time in the woods made for a decent enough mood, he could tell his emotions were just a tick away from being a fucking mess. Maybe it would be best to just not? But, guh, that felt shitty. Then again, he'd also given Xavier an invitation to his tent... maybe the lieutenant would come by again if he wanted to, and if not... well, Evan couldn't deny he'd be disappointed, but maybe that really would be for the best.
Finally some semblance of resolved on that question, Evan started heading back towards his tent, but looked much more approachable this stroll through the camp, now that he felt he'd checked off all the boxes he needed to before seeing the goddess tonight.
Re: Part 1
Trevor had kept to himself more than was typical after waking up from being with the goddess. He had, of course, sought out the stream to wash off rather immediately after the conversation with Mizu the previous day, and though there certainly was plenty to talk about, he wasn't sure he could stomach saying any of it, especially not to the other soldiers in his rank. He barely got along with them on a good day, and he hadn't exactly returned to normal yet. He was beginning to wonder if he ever would.
The goddess was on his mind almost every waking moment, and his dreams were flooded with resurfacing memories of time he spent with her. It had only been a few days, but... shit. If he had to have spent the rest of his life there with her, he might not have complained. Seemed like a pretty fucking good way to go out, all things considered.
He contemplated seeking Evan out again after the conversation with Mizu the previous day, but he didn't seem to be around, and given that Evan was solely responsible for being the army's mouthpiece to the goddess--since the other thralls couldn't speak for shit--Trevor figured he was busy. No time to debrief with someone outside his own unit.
But everything started getting worse as word got around about what was actually happening. While it had been entertaining to listen to the wild rumors flying before--which gave Trevor the sensation that he was in on some big secret--the fact that the conversations he was overhearing were getting closer and closer to the truth put him on edge. While he hadn't out and out heard anyone talking about him directly, he figured it would be the next thing to fly out of their mouths at any moment, and the last thing he wanted was anyone speculating on his condition or... sexuality. Gods, it was like having the whole fucking world know your most intimate secret. No, it was exactly that thing. Fuck.
Still, though, he knew with his whole body that he wouldn't have traded the experience for anything, and if he was being honest with himself, there were few things he wouldn't do to get back there again. She could do whatever she wanted to him, and Trevor couldn't possibly imagine being anything but content.
Sitting alone in the mess hall begrudgingly feeding his body, Trevor overheard two soldiers talking.
"...can't believe we're negotiating with the Queen of Demons now. I remember reading the stories about her..."
"Oh, I know. Can't imagine the shit Captain Rutliff's getting up to. I'm almost jealous. Been too long since..."
"For me, too. Wish she would have attacked me in my sleep, gods."
That was all Trevor could handle. He turned around and stood to face the two soldiers sitting at the table behind him and said in a loud, near-shouting voice, "it was fucking terrifying, you idiots. Shut up about shit around people who know better." With that, he grabbed his food off the table and threw it into the closest fire before storming off in no particular direction. He was well aware that it had grow silent in the mess tent, and he couldn't be bothered to care.
Outside of the tent, Trevor looked around for anything to take his attention off the burning sensation in the corners of his eyes. He made a fist and dug his nails into his own palm, trying to steady himself, and that's when he saw Evan. Fuck if now wasn't a good time to talk to the guy, but what other chance was he going to get? Evan was probably off to see the goddess here soon, anyway.
Casually, Trevor intercepted Evan and matched his walking pace, his hands in his pockets as he said, "I heard you got another soldier back. Congrats." It suddenly occurred to Trevor that it was, technically speaking, Evan's fault that Trevor wasn't still with the goddess right now, but he couldn't really begrudge the guy. That would, of course, mean putting his own desire above the army's cause as a whole, and while Trevor wished desperately that he was still in the goddess' realm, he wasn't stupid enough to say that it was worth risking the well-being of a whole kingdom to get it. That's just selfish.
The goddess was on his mind almost every waking moment, and his dreams were flooded with resurfacing memories of time he spent with her. It had only been a few days, but... shit. If he had to have spent the rest of his life there with her, he might not have complained. Seemed like a pretty fucking good way to go out, all things considered.
He contemplated seeking Evan out again after the conversation with Mizu the previous day, but he didn't seem to be around, and given that Evan was solely responsible for being the army's mouthpiece to the goddess--since the other thralls couldn't speak for shit--Trevor figured he was busy. No time to debrief with someone outside his own unit.
But everything started getting worse as word got around about what was actually happening. While it had been entertaining to listen to the wild rumors flying before--which gave Trevor the sensation that he was in on some big secret--the fact that the conversations he was overhearing were getting closer and closer to the truth put him on edge. While he hadn't out and out heard anyone talking about him directly, he figured it would be the next thing to fly out of their mouths at any moment, and the last thing he wanted was anyone speculating on his condition or... sexuality. Gods, it was like having the whole fucking world know your most intimate secret. No, it was exactly that thing. Fuck.
Still, though, he knew with his whole body that he wouldn't have traded the experience for anything, and if he was being honest with himself, there were few things he wouldn't do to get back there again. She could do whatever she wanted to him, and Trevor couldn't possibly imagine being anything but content.
Sitting alone in the mess hall begrudgingly feeding his body, Trevor overheard two soldiers talking.
"...can't believe we're negotiating with the Queen of Demons now. I remember reading the stories about her..."
"Oh, I know. Can't imagine the shit Captain Rutliff's getting up to. I'm almost jealous. Been too long since..."
"For me, too. Wish she would have attacked me in my sleep, gods."
That was all Trevor could handle. He turned around and stood to face the two soldiers sitting at the table behind him and said in a loud, near-shouting voice, "it was fucking terrifying, you idiots. Shut up about shit around people who know better." With that, he grabbed his food off the table and threw it into the closest fire before storming off in no particular direction. He was well aware that it had grow silent in the mess tent, and he couldn't be bothered to care.
Outside of the tent, Trevor looked around for anything to take his attention off the burning sensation in the corners of his eyes. He made a fist and dug his nails into his own palm, trying to steady himself, and that's when he saw Evan. Fuck if now wasn't a good time to talk to the guy, but what other chance was he going to get? Evan was probably off to see the goddess here soon, anyway.
Casually, Trevor intercepted Evan and matched his walking pace, his hands in his pockets as he said, "I heard you got another soldier back. Congrats." It suddenly occurred to Trevor that it was, technically speaking, Evan's fault that Trevor wasn't still with the goddess right now, but he couldn't really begrudge the guy. That would, of course, mean putting his own desire above the army's cause as a whole, and while Trevor wished desperately that he was still in the goddess' realm, he wasn't stupid enough to say that it was worth risking the well-being of a whole kingdom to get it. That's just selfish.
Re: Part 1
At first Evan was nervous about Trevor's approach, but he realized quickly enough that the nervousness was coming from what had happened with Philip, and reminding himself that Trevor shouldn't know anything about that helped him relax about it. He didn't bother to much acknowledge Trevor's presence until the soldier actually addressed him--congratulations, eh? Yeah, seemed like a good start. Evan nodded.
"Thanks. How you holding up?"
He thought about stopping to chat, but decided to keep walking. If Trevor was anything like him, walking while talking would be good, provided they steered away from more populated areas of camp.
"Thanks. How you holding up?"
He thought about stopping to chat, but decided to keep walking. If Trevor was anything like him, walking while talking would be good, provided they steered away from more populated areas of camp.
Re: Part 1
Trevor furrowed his brows for a moment and chastised himself for being surprised at the question. Of course people were going to ask him that. In fact, he was a little surprised few people had. Though, Trevor wasn't exactly giving off come-near-me signals, and it wasn't like he was in close with anyone here before.
Regardless, Trevor was grateful that Evan's tone didn't sound like pity. It was casual and seemed genuine, like Evan knew exactly what there was to be confused and perhaps even hurt about.
"Readjusting has been difficult...sir." Trevor still didn't quite know how casual he should be around Evan. While Captain Rutliff certainly seemed less formal than Mizu, Trevor didn't want to offend Evan. Still, Evan seemed like he would be reasonable, if their conversation earlier was any indication. "But I'm managing. How go the negotiations? I heard Lieutenant Pemberley's awake, so it must be going well?" Trevor couldn't help but crack a crooked smile at his own last remark.
Regardless, Trevor was grateful that Evan's tone didn't sound like pity. It was casual and seemed genuine, like Evan knew exactly what there was to be confused and perhaps even hurt about.
"Readjusting has been difficult...sir." Trevor still didn't quite know how casual he should be around Evan. While Captain Rutliff certainly seemed less formal than Mizu, Trevor didn't want to offend Evan. Still, Evan seemed like he would be reasonable, if their conversation earlier was any indication. "But I'm managing. How go the negotiations? I heard Lieutenant Pemberley's awake, so it must be going well?" Trevor couldn't help but crack a crooked smile at his own last remark.