Written Wonderland

Novelty's breath remained caught in his throat while he watched Philip's motions near his hips--Philip's blonde hair falling into his eyes, the angles of the man's knees and his shoulders while nearly on all fours, the slip of Novelty's pants as they slid almost all the way off the curve of his backside. Philip was being more than methodical in the process; he weighed each motion with the exquisite attention he paid to Novelty's reactions. The soldier had never felt such a spotlight on his own sensations, a gentle tug on each of Novelty's already alert nerves.

Despite what he had said to Philip, some small, bliss-drowned part of Novelty thought, I should be afraid of this man. Despite the logic, despite the fact that Philip was just as much a victim, I should be afraid of this man. But Novelty couldn't bring himself to believe it. In fact, Novelty suddenly could not help but imagine how it all happened with the goddess and Evan. What shock had settled into Philip at the moment he had received such a devastating command? How long had it taken Evan to stop fighting it?

Novelty knew he should be disgusted, terrified, furious with himself for imagining such a thing, for bringing the thoughts into this encounter with Philip who had difficulty even talking about it, and yet...

As Philip's hand slid into Novelty's underwear and grasped around the whole of Novelty's length, the soldier couldn't stop the thoughts from bounding into his head, and worse, they only exaggerated the pulsations against Philip's palm. Novelty's arms struggled to continue holding his body up, and his eyes grew heavy with pleasure until he finally closed them, loosing a moan and pushing forward into Philip's hand. He couldn't help himself from looking at Philip for long, though, wanting to watch as the lieutenant explored Novelty's body. This was, likely, the first time Philip had explored a male figure on his own terms, and Novelty could see the awe, excitement, and delight in Philip's eyes at the realization.

Philip squeezed Novelty's length, firmly but not enough to cause pain, and another shudder went through Novelty as he began to feel the possibility of climax approach. He had no intentions of letting that occur so soon, but it warmed Novelty and freshly flushed his cheeks. Philip released Novelty's length, and in a flood, the pressure dissipated. Novelty allowed himself to exhale and inhale again, his hands unconsciously slowing their slide down Philip's musculature, his thumbs savoring the hardened curve of Philip's biceps on the way toward the elbow.

In Novelty's imagination of such a moment with Philip, nothing was ever quite so vivid or magnified in its nuance. This, this was better than the soldier ever could have imagined. It was such an act of respect, to be taking this much time with Novelty, to bring such curiosity to the experience. It was a great gift. And as such, albeit with some amorphous guilt lodged deep within his belly, Novelty allowed himself to enjoy everything about this moment. He calmed his anxieties with the knowledge that he could not possibly want what was happening with Philip more.

Whatever came next, there was no question of Novelty's consent now. Granted, Captain Rutliff was another issue entirely.

Philip continued a slow pulse of squeezing and releasing Novelty's length, and the soldier could no longer stay still. His hips bucked once into Philip's hand, eager and hungry for more. Novelty felt somewhat embarrassed by the gesture, but he decided to trust that Philip wanted his honest reactions and not a filtered version of what was true.

And then, before Novelty knew it was happening, Philip deftly cupped Novelty's length and drew it out of the soldier's underwear such that the moon touched yet more of his skin.

Novelty watched Philip's face with curiosity, but Philip was focused on the sight before him, allowing his eyes to drink in the experience. Novelty felt exposed, and yet Philip's eyes tenderly caressed everything they looked at as they rolled over the way Philip's hands were now on Novelty's thighs and traveled up to where Novelty's length rested, an erect line toward Novelty's navel. His tip was moist with anticipation, and Novelty imagined Philip licking exactly there, near the opening at the top of his shaft. Before long, he imagined what Philip's tongue might feel like pressed passionately along the rim of that opening, every taste bud lighting a nerve in Novelty's body.

The soldier let out a short, groaning yelp, but managed to keep his body still, other than the pulsation in his cock.

He wanted to beg Philip to do what he had imagined, but his mind and his tongue tripped over the words, and still, somewhere in the melting bliss, the island of Novelty's conscious mind still had an eagerness to see how Philip might act, now that all of Novelty was a playground, exposed under Philip's touch. He didn't manage to say anything, but Novelty's eyes pleaded with Philip even as the man did not look at Novelty's face. His cock lifted partway into the air of its own accord before settling down against his pubic bone again.

Novelty's length rested against the soldier's skin, erect yet serene, its tip glistening in the moonlight. It was breathtakingly beautiful, and Philip was grateful that Novelty allowed him to simply take the sight in. He did get curious about what the soldier was thinking or experiencing, though, especially when Novelty let out a short, groaning yelp.

Philip briefly moved his gaze up to Novelty's face; it had seemed like a good sound--had sent an excited jolt up his core--but he wanted to make sure. Novelty's eyes were warm and pleading, and sent such gratification washing through Philip, his own brow lifting and wavering with an unexpected pleasure.

Then movement brought Philip's attention back to Novelty's navel, where his length bobbed up into the air, and Philip exhaled a delighted shudder. His hands on Novelty's thighs squeezed where they were at, and then he released one to gingerly caress two fingers under the base of Novelty's length and press it once more into the air. Philip's tongue swished saliva absent-mindedly in his mouth, and then he leaned down, his mouth opening and his tongue venturing out to caress over the soldier's tip before withdrawing, taking in the taste of Novelty as the soldier had done to him.

At first there were notes that unsettled him--reminded him of the goddess, of the confusion and embarrassment and humiliation he'd felt when he had tasted her. But he squeezed tight to Novelty's thigh with the hand that still rested there, and reminded himself of who he was with. There was nothing humiliating about this, no need to be embarrassed. Re-grounded in that, Philip was able to find aspects to the taste that were different from the goddess, and he savored them.

Only once the taste of Novelty coated his tongue did Philip swallow and lean back down, his tongue caressing up from the base of Novelty to the tip, slow and languorous and exploratory. He liked taking in the minutia of Novelty's shape, where veins pulsed beneath the skin and where folds of skin greeted him, as well as heeding how Novelty reacted to each and every inch. When he reached the tip he swirled around it and began at the base of Novelty again, shifted just slightly to the side, and repeated the journey, taking in the next strip of skin just as meticulously.

Novelty watched Philip's face intently, beginning to grow concerned that his outcry had given Philip the wrong impression. But, when Philip met Novelty's eyes again, an elated pleasure softened Philip's features as his eyebrows seemed to lose their hold.

Then, all at once, Novelty felt Philip squeeze his thighs, and Novelty loosed a quiet moan. The pressure on his thighs was exquisite--with all their training, Novelty's thighs had built up a considerable amount of tension, which Philip eased with a knowing hand. The motion had the side effect of hardening Philip's arm muscles, and Novelty's fingers ran greedily over them, savoring every valley and peak of chiseled flesh.

Novelty was momentarily disappointed when Philip released one of his thighs, but he caught movements of Philip's mouth and quickly anticipated the man's trajectory, banishing the disappointment. Philip's fingers propped up Novelty's length such that Novelty could feel the slight breeze on all parts of it. Then, Philip leaned down and allowed his tongue to reach toward Novelty's tip, only enough to taste. The lieutenant seemed curious as he considered the experience, his brows twitching for a moment with what seemed like distaste. Novelty's first impulse was to tense up and become self-conscious--he hadn't tasted himself in a while and had little idea of what it was like--but he reminded himself that Philip was exploring, and this dissipated the tension in his muscles. This was an experiment for Philip, and Novelty just needed to let it happen.

As though to reassure them both, Philip squeezed Novelty's thigh again before leaning back over him, his tongue traveling slowly up from Novelty's pubic bone up toward his tip. Philip's tongue pressed against the thin veins in Novelty's cock and accommodated them, and Novelty shifted slightly to mask somewhat how much his hips wanted to hurry Philip on. Despite his body's desperate pleas, Novelty wanted Philip to take his time. Still, Novelty couldn't help the pulsations his length kept emitting, especially every time Philip's tongue neared the tip. The urge for Philip to put pressure there only mounted as Philip started again at the base of Novelty's cock and took in a slightly different section of it, pausing once more at Novelty's tip before starting a new journey.

As a brief, chill wind blew, the places where Philip's saliva graced Novelty grew impressively cold and hardened further, the incredible pleasure of the moment sending a deep, deep ache down into Novelty's testicles, which also swelled with excitement. Novelty's fingernails bit casually into Philip's upper arms, having stopped any other movement to focus on the wild sensations occurring elsewhere.

"Ph... Phillip..." Novelty's lips struggled to find the syllables as sensations of ache and pleasure shot up from Novelty's groin toward his throat, and his whole body shivered and swayed into Philip's tongue. Tears started to flow soundlessly out of Novelty's eyes again as a relief to have this much ache made itself known. It was a strangely comforting sensation once it had reached this level, almost like a long-held and well-integrated grief, a friend, even. It brought a peace over Novelty's mind, and his eyes closed as his feet wrapped around whatever purchase they could find of Philip's legs to pull him closer.

Philip's tongue savored every minute detail of Novelty's length, every twitch and pulse and change of texture. It didn't occur to him until Novelty's nails started biting into his arms that the soldier might be getting impatient.

"Ph... Phillip..." Novelty stammered, and his whole body shivered and swayed. Philip instinctively withdrew slightly, to look up at Novelty, his expression a bit sheepish. It was cold out, and Philip was taking his sweet time with this; was it cruel of him? He saw a glint of tears trickling down Novelty's cheek, and felt a terrible knot of guilt in his stomach. He looked back down to Novelty's cock, and contemplated fully taking it into his mouth as Novelty had done for him, but he swallowed uneasily at the thought, his body growing a little stiff. He was able to relax some when he felt Novelty's feet wrapping around Philip's legs, holding onto him and pulling him closer; it was a warm and welcoming gesture, one which helped him anchor himself again back in what was actually happening with Novelty, rather than drifting towards memories with the goddess that tried to tug at him.

Still, he wasn't sure he could give Novelty exactly what he was looking for. But, perhaps he could do something close.

Philip let Novelty's cock rest against his navel again, and lifted his hand to his mouth, his tongue gathering saliva to wet his thumb and palm and forefingers. Then, he reached back down again, gently grasping Novelty's cock and stroking up and down the length of it--slowly at first, but steadily speeding up. Meanwhile, he leaned himself forward, moving his other hand from Novelty's thigh up to the ground by his head, his lips gently pressing against Novelty's cheek where tears had run. This soldier had been so kind to him; he wanted to reflect that kindness back. After he'd placed his tender kiss, he gently nudged his own cheek against Novelty's, his body sighing with a soft hum. Redirecting his attention slightly then, his thumb circled affectionately over Novelty's tip before his next stroke, and he sank into the feeling of the soldier's length in his warm grasp.

Novelty internally begged, hoped, pleaded for more of what Philip was doing, but despite the shivering, Novelty was genuinely content with letting Philip explore the way he wanted to. It was rare that someone really took their time with Novelty's body, and the soldier could not bring himself to complain. Still, he could not deny he ached for the warmth of Philip's mouth--of filling Philip's mouth. Just as it seemed that moment might be approaching, Philip withdrew and sat more upright. Novelty stole a look at him through wet lashes, and he looked concerned. Before Novelty could think or do much of anything, Philip let go of Novelty's cock, and the chill air greeted him, the ache undeniable. Novelty made a sound that was almost a whimper, about to get up onto his elbows again, but then Philip's hand came back down around Novelty's length, slick with warm saliva.

It felt good. Philip's hand was large and comforting, even if the calluses did catch once or twice. And Philip leaned over him, too, this exceedingly tall, gorgeous man above him, stroking him, kissing his tears away then circled his thumb around Novelty's tip, and Novelty's body jerked in excitement. Novelty listened carefully to Philip's breathing to enjoy the ways the man exerted himself. For Novelty's sake. And, slowly, Philip's hand sped up.

Gods, it was wonderful. Would anything in the goddess' realm be as wonderful?

The answer was so close. Yes. Yes, this and a hundred times more. Novelty's mind jumped erratically from one fantasy to the next as Philip continued stroking. Philip with the goddess, both of them nude and tangled, beckoning Novelty to join them. Philip naked but for purple flowers. Novelty pressing Philip up against a tree. Philip grabbing Novelty by the hair. The goddess telling Philip to... to...

Novelty's climax came all in a rush, unexpected and forceful, and the soldier yelped as though himself surprised. But the pleasure was immense and filled his body with warmth. He took a number of deep breaths, gathering himself and his bearings before trying to find where Philip was at. Novelty reached toward where Philip had pressed his hand to the ground beside Novelty's head and stroked the man's warm fingers a number of times.

Novelty whimpered and jerked under Philip's touch, and while some fear tugged at Philip again that he must be doing something wrong, he pushed past it, trusting in their interactions up til now and the intuition that if he truly was doing something wrong, it would be more clear than the cloudy anxiety that plagued him. And with that trust, he relished the ways that Novelty bucked and reacted, a pleasant hum vibrating his chest and his throat as he sped the motions of his hand, excitement building in his own body as he soaked in the signs of it building in Novelty's.

Then, all at once, Novelty tensed and yelped, and Philip himself let out a soft gasp as Novelty's pleasure spilled over, coating Philip's hand and dripping down onto Novelty's skin. Philip reveled for a moment, a warm, steady wash of satisfaction lilting through his body, but fluster started to creep in quickly. They were both a little bit of a mess now--in a way they wouldn't have been if Philip had gotten over his squeamishness and taken Novelty into his mouth instead. It helped when Novelty reached for the hand Philip held against the ground, stroking his fingers. Philip smiled lightly, reassured that Novelty was far too blissed out at the moment to care about the mess.

With a soft sigh, Philip laid himself down on his back next to Novelty, his clean hand gently brushing the backs of its fingers against Novelty's hip--and his sticky hand resting in the grass on the other side of him, out of mind. A melancholy tugged at his edges, muting what small smile had graced his expression, but he tried to keep it at bay. He listened closely to Novelty's breathing, and it helped to soothe him, his own breath slow and deep and satisfied.

The sensation of Philip's fingers calmed and steadied Novelty, although the man above him shifted soon afterward and Philip soon lay on his back beside Novelty in the grass. Novelty's eyes remained closed, determined not to rush his own bliss on Philip's account. Or on account of the cold, even. His length still pulsed and was certainly a mess around his pants, but he trusted that his future self, the one who would do laundry, would find all this worth it, if only to reminisce about later. Getting back to camp discretely, however... But, Novelty need not entertain those thoughts now. For now, he was lying in the grass with a man who had gone to so much trouble for him. The backs of Philip's fingers brushed against Novelty's closest hip, and the man shivered with delight but also chill as his body demanded that he finally fully register the temperature.

Novelty opened his eyes and looked for Philip's, finding uncertainty in the small, sad smile on Philip's face. Did he regret what had just happened? Novelty did his best to keep those fears at bay and instead rolled on his side to face Philip, tucking an arm under his head for support and curling his knees to brush against Philip's leg. Reaching down toward his still-open pants, he moved some of the sperm that had landed on his belly around with one finger, idly tracing slick circles around his lower navel below his belly button. He wondered what it did taste like and if Philip would be repulsed to see Novelty try it. And then he imagined Philip tasting it...

A curious melancholy came over Novelty then as his mind retraced the ways Philip's tongue had caressed Novelty's length. Had Philip not wanted to experience Novelty inside his mouth? Or had Novelty simply been too impatient for that? He would probably never know.

Blinking slowly at Philip, his mind and body still foggy from bliss, Novelty smiled and said, "You're good at listening."

Philip first sensed Novelty's gaze on his face, though he couldn't be sure that wasn't just nervousness; he somewhat stubbornly kept his eyes closed for a moment, though he was sure he did a decent job of keeping it relaxed. He just wasn't ready to meet Novelty's gaze, not yet.

Then he heard Novelty starting to shift onto his elbow in the grass, and finally felt the soldier's knees brush against his legs. Both pleasure and anxiety pulsed through him; he enjoyed the contact, but was starting to feel afraid of... of what?

He heard another soft sound, subtle enough he almost missed it, and couldn't quite place it even after a moment of listening. He finally opened his eyes and tilted his head towards Novelty, surprised and a little bit flustered to see the soldier tracing circles below his navel, his skin glistening in the moonlight, the sound Philip had heard the soft, slick displacement of ejaculate as Novelty's finger swirled.

Philip blinked his eyes up to Novelty's gaze with an apology on the tip of his tongue, but before he found his voice, the undeniable calm and bliss in Novelty's eyes preemptively hushed him.

"You're good at listening," Novelty said with a smile, and at first Philip's own smile brightened a little, but his brows also drew together, and all at once, tears spilled onto his cheeks, and he didn't know why-- at least, other than that it related to the melancholy that sat heavily in his stomach. Instinctively, his hand in the grass started to move towards his stomach, but then it stopped, remembering that it was sticky, and Philip swallowed heavily, terrified that he might let out a sob if he wasn't careful, and he'd subjected Novelty to so much of that already tonight.

He drew his hand up to look at it instead, to face down the sight his own actions had created. He closed his hand into a fist quickly, though, as he felt swirls of guilt and shame and regret closing in. Surely that's not what this situation called for.

With a sigh, Philip let his hand rest back down into the grass again, and he returned his gaze to Novelty, trying to recenter on the soldier's undeniable bliss.

"Thank you," he said, glad that he found something to say that didn't get stuck in his throat. He wasn't sure that much else would make it at the moment, though, and regret for that tugged at his brow.

Novelty's entire face fell and his mouth dropped open slightly when tears started spilling from Philip's eyes. Gods, Novelty really had pushed him too far, hadn't he? Novelty shook his head and looked toward the ground, his finger stopping in its tracks, at least until he had the wherewithal to put his length fully back into his pants. Granted, from this position, buttoning them up was near to impossible, but that could wait. Novelty then watched as Philip tried to bring a hand to his own stomach, but then he seemed to realize that it was... moist, and Novelty cringed. But, Philip had opted into that experience, right? Well, maybe Philip hadn't. Novelty had orgasmed rather suddenly, and he hadn't given Philip any warning at all.

As Philip closed his hand into a fist above himself, a lump equally as heavy sank deep into Novelty's stomach, and he swallowed, his own eyes tearing up. He really should have known better. Philip was still... injured and not in his right mind and... Gods, Novelty really had been selfish in leading them in this direction. Philip had just asked for a walk, not... all this. Gods be damned. Novelty shook his head again, furious with himself and deeply, deeply sorry.

"Thank you," Philip said, but his voice was choked, and Novelty was tired of talking around their emotions. It was like they had been carrying on two different conversations all this while. Sitting up abruptly, Novelty wiped his finger onto the grass, feeling sheepish that he hadn't offered to clean Philip's hand up with his mouth earlier. It had crossed his mind. Now it felt... well, less than romantic.

With his arms around his knees, Novelty tried to figure out what should come next. An apology, probably, and then?

"I didn't..." Novelty started, waiting to be clear and concise. "This was selfish of me. I... I don't think I've been listening to you. Or at least, not completely. You're... A lot has happened to you, Philip, and I'm afraid I've... overlooked that. I shouldn't have... I'm sorry." He stared at the ground with a longing to make things right, but he didn't entirely know how.

He had, however, been considering just how he might get himself clean, and despite the chill, the river did sound good. Spontaneous and irrational in many ways, but good. Surely enough to get a clear head. Maybe they were even far enough from camp that they could still have some privacy. But was that yet more selfishness on Novelty's part?

"It will be freezing, probably, but a dip in the river actually sounds refreshing right now," Novelty said, "If it would make you feel better..." He shook his head again, frustrated with his sudden difficulty with words. "I am happy to give you whatever space you might need, but if my company is at all comforting, I'm happy to offer it."

Gods, Philip's heart broke to see Novelty's bliss gone, just like that. The soldier gathered his length back into his underwear and sat up abruptly, arms hugging his knees. Philip closed his eyes and swallowed down another silent sob, a fresh swell of tears spilling over.

"I didn't..." Novelty said, "This was selfish of me. I... I don't think I've been listening to you."

Philip softly sighed out the remainder of his held-back sob and pushed himself to sit up. He brought his hands both into his lap, his dirty hand cradled in the other, and he looked down at it, trying again to face the sight while Novelty continued speaking.

"Or at least, not completely. You're... A lot has happened to you, Philip, and I'm afraid I've... overlooked that. I shouldn't have... I'm sorry."

Philip's head slowly shook, his expression heavy with sorrow and regret. He hated that he'd burdened Novelty with all this, and wished he could just see the bliss in Novelty's eyes again. None of this felt like the soldier's fault. In some ways, it didn't even feel like the goddess'; this particular cloud was old, and wordless, and horrifyingly familiar.

"It will be freezing, probably, but a dip in the river actually sounds refreshing right now." Novelty added, and Philip turned his gaze to Novelty with some surprise. "If it would make you feel better..." Novelty continued, but shook his head. "I am happy to give you whatever space you might need, but if my company is at all comforting, I'm happy to offer it."

"Yes," Philip said emphatically, the word full-bodied and without reservation. He didn't want to part ways. That much he knew. "But..." he looked back down to his hand, the next words more difficult to find. "I'm not... ready, to clean up... I--" He glanced back to Novelty again, his eyes growing wider with some kind of pleading, but his gaze returned quickly to his hand, tugged by a powerful and growing gravity.

He was quiet for a moment, before finally, quietly adding, “I don’t want to go back to who I was before.”