Nick laughed with Rav, and it felt... good. Nick shook his head then, moving his hands out in front of him as though utterly unsure about what to say to all that. Maybe Rav had given Nick too much to work with? It was difficult to know how to strike some kind of equilibrium between closing off entirely and saying everything that came to mind.
"I don't even know which thing to ask about next," he said, but he still sounded like he would burst again into a giggle at the slightest provocation. Rav found himself wanting another excuse to make him laugh. Before Rav could follow up with anything, though, Nick fired off a series of questions. "What is Burning Man like? What did you help build? What were you protesting? How did it go?" Gods, Rav felt giddy at the way Nick asked his waterfall of questions. But, then, Nick paused, and the silence was suddenly heavy with potential. Eventually, Nick took a breath and added, "What kinds of things do you like to carve?"
What had Nick been about to ask? Why had he changed his mind. Did he want Rav to carve him something? For the briefest of moments, Rav wondered what he might make Nick but tabled that decision for later.
Rav laughed a little again, wondering where to start. He supposed it was only fair that Nick overwhelmed him with questions after Rav had dumped all that information at his feet. Waiting until a woman with a stroller passed by and were out of earshot, Rav said, "I mean, Burning Man is kind of what you might expect. Lots of dust, loud music, throngs of people. It's gotten more commercial over the years. I've only been twice. I've always wanted to hit up one of the regional festivals instead, but I..." Rav faltered for a moment, frowning. He hadn't done much of anything social since his incident. But he shook it off quickly enough. "Well, I think there's one coming up a couple months from now. Could probably help you get a ticket if you wanted."
Rav paused, wondering if he had done Burning Man justice. He decided he hadn't. "The thing is, there's so much to explore. Going out into the edges of the playa at night where the sound starts to fade away and the art structures are interactive, understated, but delightful..." Rav wondered if it would be all right to talk to Nick about psychedelics being a part of the experience and ultimately decided there was no need to mention that just yet.
"I helped build this, like, algorithmic tree? It's kinda hard to explain. It was basically a tower that swayed in the wind but was safe to climb." Rav laughed. "I liked watching it burn. The flames were like... a canopy." Rav looked whimsically off into the distance for a moment, reminiscing, but soon enough, he brought his attention back to Nick's flurry of questions. Was it really okay to keep talking? Did Nick want to say anything? But Rav kept going, feeling unfinished with the questions still hanging in the air.
"The tree-sit was a protest against a resort complex in Central California. They were going to cut down a big swath of trees, some of them old growth. It was kind of a complex situation, though, because some of the trees were already sick with an invasive beetle and might have taken the others out. That was my dad's angle on it, at least. Me? I think I just wanted an excuse to climb and hang out with people older than me. But, I mean, yeah, the trees were pretty majestic. And there was no promise that taking that section of trees out would have stopped the spread." Rav shrugged. "The hippies lost the court case, though. Complex got built. Trees are gone. I don't know if it stopped the beetles. Haven't been back in a while." Rav paused and shrugged, letting the heaviness of that sit in the air a moment. He wished he felt comfortable smoking a cigarette in the park, but he figured there was some kind of rule against that with kids nearby and all.
Taking another breath, Rav said, "I carve lots of things. Mostly practical things. Spoons, knife handles, the occasional pendant." Rav thought about the wooden flower he had carved once but shook the memory off. Gods, was there anything Rav could say without the shadows of his past dogging him?
"Do you make anything?" Rav said, a glint in his eye. Maybe they could make a trade.
Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
Rav laughed, and Nick giggled again himself, delighted by the energy in the air. It felt like things were loosening, flowing more freely. Rav quieted, and seemed about to say something, but eyed a woman with a stroller approaching. Nick offered the woman a friendly smile, which she returned briefly, both of them nodding and moving past each other in polite city-folk fashion. Sometimes, Nick lamented that it wasn't easier to feel connected in those brief, passing-by moments, but at least tonight, he had a companion to eagerly return his own attention to.
"I mean, Burning Man is kind of what you might expect," Rav finally said. "Lots of dust, loud music, throngs of people. It's gotten more commercial over the years. I've only been twice. I've always wanted to hit up one of the regional festivals instead, but I..." A frown flickered back into Rav's expression, and a sadness settled briefly into Nick's chest, but the man recovered and finished his thought. "Well, I think there's one coming up a couple months from now. Could probably help you get a ticket if you wanted."
Nick tilted his head a little, his smile quite crooked. He wasn't sure he knew much more about Burning Man than when they'd started, and he knew even less about regional festivals. And... what exactly did help getting a ticket mean? Thankfully, Rav added more before Nick's brain set itself to formulating more questions.
"The thing is, there's so much to explore. Going out into the edges of the playa at night where the sound starts to fade away and the art structures are interactive, understated, but delightful... I helped build this, like, algorithmic tree? It's kinda hard to explain. It was basically a tower that swayed in the wind but was safe to climb." Rav laughed. "I liked watching it burn. The flames were like... a canopy."
Now that painted a picture. Nick's smile was wide, lips parted and eyes dreamy with awe. He'd been curious about Burning Man since it entered his consciousness - videos of people dancing with poi on social media, mostly - and he was delighted to now have a deeper understanding, however small a slice it might be. It was a slice of Rav's Burning Man in particular, which made it all the better. Nick liked imagining watching a fire by Rav's side. Rav was looking off into the distance, perhaps reliving the algorithmic tree burning. Nick very nearly felt called to touch Rav's arm, as if the contact might transport him to whatever scene Rav was seeing, but instead he slid his hands back into his jacket pockets. Perhaps he was concerned about whatever the brief flicker of a frown had been on Rav's face, or perhaps he was just still too shy for such gestures.
Then, all at once the air around them shifted, and somehow, it seemed clear it was time to move on, which Rav did with impressive ease.
"The tree-sit was a protest against a resort complex in Central California," he said. "They were going to cut down a big swath of trees, some of them old growth. It was kind of a complex situation, though, because some of the trees were already sick with an invasive beetle and might have taken the others out. That was my dad's angle on it, at least. Me? I think I just wanted an excuse to climb and hang out with people older than me. But, I mean, yeah, the trees were pretty majestic. And there was no promise that taking that section of trees out would have stopped the spread." Rav shrugged. "The hippies lost the court case, though. Complex got built. Trees are gone. I don't know if it stopped the beetles. Haven't been back in a while."
Nick nodded, his expression light but rather more grounded, perhaps just a bit somber. He liked imagining sitting up in a tree with Rav, too. And he found himself imagining touching his hand to a trunk, wordlessly expressing some serene sort of sorrow to the trees now gone.
Then, in a blink, he refocused on the trees around them. They were fairly tall for city trees, Nick thought, though probably nothing like an old growth forest. Still, tall enough that Nick could look up and not really see the tops. He liked that feeling.
Rav drew in a notable breath, and Nick brought his attention back, eyes landing on the man just as he began to speak again.
"I carve lots of things. Mostly practical things. Spoons, knife handles, the occasional pendant." Nick thought he might have caught another falter in Rav's expression, but he wasn't sure, and he didn't need to go looking for that, anyway. Besides, Rav followed up with a glint in his eye, and Nick forgot whatever flicker entirely. "Do you make anything?"
It genuinely took Nick a moment to fully realize he'd just been asked a question. He'd enjoyed this mode he'd fallen into of listening to Rav, letting Rav's words form images in his mind. So much so that when Rav first asked the question, Nick simply imagined making spoons, knife handles, the occasional pendant, but--thankfully--it didn't occur to him to say any of that. But then when he did fully realize he'd been asked a question, he felt utterly blank. Did he... make anything? The last thing he made was snacks, he supposed, but that didn't feel like a real answer.
"I bake sometimes," he finally said, his smile crooked and nervous. Even that answer felt... incomplete. But it bought him time while he searched for what he was actually looking for. "I draw a little.... dabble in writing." He shrugged, more because he needed to expel a little bit of physical energy than anything else. He could say more, probably, but he felt aimless about it, and a little bit overwhelmed with trying to figure out a direction. Finally, he added, "I remember carving things like clay and plaster of paris in school, and I really enjoyed it. Paper mache stuff was fun, too." He shrugged again, unsure if he was giving Rav anything interesting, but he decided to hope that that was enough for now, lest he start babbling.
"I mean, Burning Man is kind of what you might expect," Rav finally said. "Lots of dust, loud music, throngs of people. It's gotten more commercial over the years. I've only been twice. I've always wanted to hit up one of the regional festivals instead, but I..." A frown flickered back into Rav's expression, and a sadness settled briefly into Nick's chest, but the man recovered and finished his thought. "Well, I think there's one coming up a couple months from now. Could probably help you get a ticket if you wanted."
Nick tilted his head a little, his smile quite crooked. He wasn't sure he knew much more about Burning Man than when they'd started, and he knew even less about regional festivals. And... what exactly did help getting a ticket mean? Thankfully, Rav added more before Nick's brain set itself to formulating more questions.
"The thing is, there's so much to explore. Going out into the edges of the playa at night where the sound starts to fade away and the art structures are interactive, understated, but delightful... I helped build this, like, algorithmic tree? It's kinda hard to explain. It was basically a tower that swayed in the wind but was safe to climb." Rav laughed. "I liked watching it burn. The flames were like... a canopy."
Now that painted a picture. Nick's smile was wide, lips parted and eyes dreamy with awe. He'd been curious about Burning Man since it entered his consciousness - videos of people dancing with poi on social media, mostly - and he was delighted to now have a deeper understanding, however small a slice it might be. It was a slice of Rav's Burning Man in particular, which made it all the better. Nick liked imagining watching a fire by Rav's side. Rav was looking off into the distance, perhaps reliving the algorithmic tree burning. Nick very nearly felt called to touch Rav's arm, as if the contact might transport him to whatever scene Rav was seeing, but instead he slid his hands back into his jacket pockets. Perhaps he was concerned about whatever the brief flicker of a frown had been on Rav's face, or perhaps he was just still too shy for such gestures.
Then, all at once the air around them shifted, and somehow, it seemed clear it was time to move on, which Rav did with impressive ease.
"The tree-sit was a protest against a resort complex in Central California," he said. "They were going to cut down a big swath of trees, some of them old growth. It was kind of a complex situation, though, because some of the trees were already sick with an invasive beetle and might have taken the others out. That was my dad's angle on it, at least. Me? I think I just wanted an excuse to climb and hang out with people older than me. But, I mean, yeah, the trees were pretty majestic. And there was no promise that taking that section of trees out would have stopped the spread." Rav shrugged. "The hippies lost the court case, though. Complex got built. Trees are gone. I don't know if it stopped the beetles. Haven't been back in a while."
Nick nodded, his expression light but rather more grounded, perhaps just a bit somber. He liked imagining sitting up in a tree with Rav, too. And he found himself imagining touching his hand to a trunk, wordlessly expressing some serene sort of sorrow to the trees now gone.
Then, in a blink, he refocused on the trees around them. They were fairly tall for city trees, Nick thought, though probably nothing like an old growth forest. Still, tall enough that Nick could look up and not really see the tops. He liked that feeling.
Rav drew in a notable breath, and Nick brought his attention back, eyes landing on the man just as he began to speak again.
"I carve lots of things. Mostly practical things. Spoons, knife handles, the occasional pendant." Nick thought he might have caught another falter in Rav's expression, but he wasn't sure, and he didn't need to go looking for that, anyway. Besides, Rav followed up with a glint in his eye, and Nick forgot whatever flicker entirely. "Do you make anything?"
It genuinely took Nick a moment to fully realize he'd just been asked a question. He'd enjoyed this mode he'd fallen into of listening to Rav, letting Rav's words form images in his mind. So much so that when Rav first asked the question, Nick simply imagined making spoons, knife handles, the occasional pendant, but--thankfully--it didn't occur to him to say any of that. But then when he did fully realize he'd been asked a question, he felt utterly blank. Did he... make anything? The last thing he made was snacks, he supposed, but that didn't feel like a real answer.
"I bake sometimes," he finally said, his smile crooked and nervous. Even that answer felt... incomplete. But it bought him time while he searched for what he was actually looking for. "I draw a little.... dabble in writing." He shrugged, more because he needed to expel a little bit of physical energy than anything else. He could say more, probably, but he felt aimless about it, and a little bit overwhelmed with trying to figure out a direction. Finally, he added, "I remember carving things like clay and plaster of paris in school, and I really enjoyed it. Paper mache stuff was fun, too." He shrugged again, unsure if he was giving Rav anything interesting, but he decided to hope that that was enough for now, lest he start babbling.
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
Rav's self-consciousness crept back in as Nick thought about his answer. Had he said too much? Had he intimidated Nick? Better to get that out of the way at the beginning if that was going to be the case, Rav supposed. Then again, if Nick hadn't run away from Rav's confession at the beginning of all this, then Rav doubted that talking about a tree-sit or Burning Man would do it.
"I bake sometimes," Nick finally said with his crooked smile that Rav understood by now as nerves. "I draw a little.... dabble in writing." Nick shrugged, and Rav looked away, staring out onto the path. For the briefest of moments, Rav wondered what he was doing with Nick. Nick seemed like a nice kid, probably didn't have a record, maybe hadn't ever even been to a protest. But then Rav reminded exiling himself from all those circles. He was starting over, and Nick was the first person Rav had even remotely wanted to try with. And, besides, it had been fun to introduce Nick to contact improv. The thought made Rav's grin resurface.
Later, Nick added, "I remember carving things like clay and plaster of paris in school, and I really enjoyed it. Paper mache stuff was fun, too." Nick shrugged again, and Rav felt the impulse bubble up to ask Nick to carve with him. He imagined bringing Nick to the coast and grabbing a piece of driftwood, hanging out in one of those driftwood shelters while the wind blew relentlessly...
But, what would Nick do? Stay the night? Sleep in Rav's car? Rav shook his head. Maybe they could just stay local.
"Wood is definitely a different beast," Rav said, enjoying the split second where he got to feel wise about something. "It's unpredictable and unforgiving, but that's part of the fun." And then Rav winked at Nick, sending a flurry of butterflies through his own stomach as he did so.
"I bake sometimes," Nick finally said with his crooked smile that Rav understood by now as nerves. "I draw a little.... dabble in writing." Nick shrugged, and Rav looked away, staring out onto the path. For the briefest of moments, Rav wondered what he was doing with Nick. Nick seemed like a nice kid, probably didn't have a record, maybe hadn't ever even been to a protest. But then Rav reminded exiling himself from all those circles. He was starting over, and Nick was the first person Rav had even remotely wanted to try with. And, besides, it had been fun to introduce Nick to contact improv. The thought made Rav's grin resurface.
Later, Nick added, "I remember carving things like clay and plaster of paris in school, and I really enjoyed it. Paper mache stuff was fun, too." Nick shrugged again, and Rav felt the impulse bubble up to ask Nick to carve with him. He imagined bringing Nick to the coast and grabbing a piece of driftwood, hanging out in one of those driftwood shelters while the wind blew relentlessly...
But, what would Nick do? Stay the night? Sleep in Rav's car? Rav shook his head. Maybe they could just stay local.
"Wood is definitely a different beast," Rav said, enjoying the split second where he got to feel wise about something. "It's unpredictable and unforgiving, but that's part of the fun." And then Rav winked at Nick, sending a flurry of butterflies through his own stomach as he did so.
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
Nick thought he saw an imagination of something in Rav's eyes, which gave him hope that he had, in fact, offered something at least a little bit inspiring.
"Wood is definitely a different beast," Rav said, and competing reactions rippled through Nick - some parts defensive, but some parts eager, hungry and yearning to learn more. "It's unpredictable and unforgiving," Rav continued, "but that's part of the fun." He winked at Nick after he spoke, and butterflies altogether erupted over whatever else Nick had been feeling.
Nick trailed his eyes away to look at the trees around them, grin wide with giddy nervousness. It took that long for him to even process the second set of words that Rav had spoken. Unpredictable and unforgiving - fun. The words and the wink echoed in Nick's mind as he walked, an unreasonable amount of excitement heavy and buzzing deep in his belly. Finally, with a deep breath, Nick mustered a bit of bravery.
"I'd love to try it."
He was not brave enough to look at Rav - he certainly didn't want to impose any pressure or obligation onto the man - and so he kept his gaze on the trees, his imagination starting to feel into how the different layers of wood might be different textures, might lend to ripples or splitting in interesting ways. He resolved that, one way or another, he would find out for himself what it was like.
"Wood is definitely a different beast," Rav said, and competing reactions rippled through Nick - some parts defensive, but some parts eager, hungry and yearning to learn more. "It's unpredictable and unforgiving," Rav continued, "but that's part of the fun." He winked at Nick after he spoke, and butterflies altogether erupted over whatever else Nick had been feeling.
Nick trailed his eyes away to look at the trees around them, grin wide with giddy nervousness. It took that long for him to even process the second set of words that Rav had spoken. Unpredictable and unforgiving - fun. The words and the wink echoed in Nick's mind as he walked, an unreasonable amount of excitement heavy and buzzing deep in his belly. Finally, with a deep breath, Nick mustered a bit of bravery.
"I'd love to try it."
He was not brave enough to look at Rav - he certainly didn't want to impose any pressure or obligation onto the man - and so he kept his gaze on the trees, his imagination starting to feel into how the different layers of wood might be different textures, might lend to ripples or splitting in interesting ways. He resolved that, one way or another, he would find out for himself what it was like.
Re: Road to Repair: Rav and Nick
Looking at Nick after he winked, Rav enjoyed the wave of excitement that passed over his companion--Nick's pointed toes lifted him lightly from the ground and forced him to turn away to grin in the direction of the trees--and the arousal Rav had been feeling earlier returned. He breathed through it, reminding himself that he was in public and there was nothing to do about it here. Still, he could enjoy the pressure at the front of his pants and the way Nick could barely look at him. Rav found himself intentionally walking closer to Nick, bumping into him mildly.
"I'd love to try it," Nick said. It took Rav a moment to remember what Nick was talking about. Yes, carving, Rav thought.
Nick still wouldn't look at him, and it made Rav want to do something rash. Tackle Nick, maybe. But that was not exactly appropriate upscale park behavior, especially not without a football or some other excuse.
Rav's grin was wide, thinking about carving beside Nick, both of their hands and attentions focused on the wood while the tension between them built and built. Rav closed his eyes so he could let them roll behind his lids with pleasure.
Before Rav even opened his eyes, he said quietly, "I have a few extra knives." Was it insane for an ex-rapist to offer to play with knives with a new romantic interest? Well, he wasn't a murderer. Rav did become sheepish, though, uncertain if Nick had meant that he wanted to learn with Rav--that hadn't exactly been what Nick said. Rav opened his eyes and looked at Nick with some concern, trying to gage his reaction.
"I'd love to try it," Nick said. It took Rav a moment to remember what Nick was talking about. Yes, carving, Rav thought.
Nick still wouldn't look at him, and it made Rav want to do something rash. Tackle Nick, maybe. But that was not exactly appropriate upscale park behavior, especially not without a football or some other excuse.
Rav's grin was wide, thinking about carving beside Nick, both of their hands and attentions focused on the wood while the tension between them built and built. Rav closed his eyes so he could let them roll behind his lids with pleasure.
Before Rav even opened his eyes, he said quietly, "I have a few extra knives." Was it insane for an ex-rapist to offer to play with knives with a new romantic interest? Well, he wasn't a murderer. Rav did become sheepish, though, uncertain if Nick had meant that he wanted to learn with Rav--that hadn't exactly been what Nick said. Rav opened his eyes and looked at Nick with some concern, trying to gage his reaction.