Written Wonderland

Xavier tried to hold onto the fact that there was still something Evan's wasn't saying--and was prepared to blurt something out about it--but that intention got lost in Xavier's throat somewhere as he gasped at Evan's sudden lunge toward Xavier's wrist. In no time, Xavier was pinned beneath Evan, arms above his head with his captain--with Evan--above and on top of him. Years of army training made it difficult to not immediately throw him off, but the deeper cravings in Xavier's body won out, and his hips bucked wildly. All of this in spite of the fact that Xavier's mind suddenly flashed to the moment when Xavier thought Evan might really hit him.

Would Evan hurt him now?

Did Xavier care?

That was a little bit of a frightening thought, but it was immediately pulled away by Evan nibbling and sucking at his throat. He could not help but turn his head toward Evan, seeking lips, cheek, ear--anything. But Evan's head was moving down toward Xavier's collarbone, and the lieutenant couldn't even move his hands! Xavier yanked to try to get out of Evan's grip and failed, eliciting and new wave of wild hip movements and a whine Xavier hoped Evan didn't hear.

Xavier's legs kicked up halfheartedly at Evan's shins, then curled to touch as much of Evan's legs as they could. He moaned gently, quietly, his head thrown back in some agonizing bliss as Evan bit down, just quickly at first, then harder, more adamant, more urgent, and Xavier's eyes fluttered backward, the urge to become limp growing strong as energy dripped steadily out of him as though he were a kind of faucet of the stuff. Or something.

This seem to embolden Xavier, and he wanted to test Evan's balance, knowing he could shift quickly on the side where Evan was biting, the reflexive army training kicking in now. Still, there wasn't enough momentum behind even planning the motion to throw Evan, and still the bite continued deepening. Xavier started seeing black spots on the top of the tent, his lips reaching at air, his arms going limp again. Evan had him. There was no getting out of this; Evan had him. He couldn't get Evan off him if he tried. Xavier had tried, but there was some sabotaging part of him that preventing it all, demanded that there only be bliss. His hips spasmed a couple times, and the boy started losing his vision altogether, the edges of his vision flecked and almost burning away the sight he did have left with electric purple embers. Gods, where was he about to go? And why wasn't he trying to stop Evan from sending him there?

"Please," Xavier said, "please tell me. Tell me," Xavier said, completely unaware that words were still coming out of his mouth.

Evan purred through the lieutenant's movements, excitement pulsing through his gut and chest and groin as the boy cycled through fighting back and going limp. Some anxiety also pulsed in Evan's chest, worry about whether he was going too hard, whether Xavier fighting back wasn't just play, but it felt so good, and Evan thought--perhaps arrogantly, but confidently enough at the moment--that he'd be able to tell if the boy's fighting turned genuine. Each of the moments Evan's anxiety spiked highest, when Xavier's flails seemed just on the cusp of earnest, the boy went limp again, melting beneath Evan in a way that stroked deliciously at the captain's scalp and sent excited shivers through his lower back, dissipating his anxiety into smooth, rolling heat.

But then, the boy spoke, and anxiety spiked again, this time enough to loose Evan's teeth from the boy's neck and pull a single, silent, nervous breath from the captain's mouth against Xavier's skin.

Please tell me, the boy had said, and a lump of steel landed heavily in Evan's chest. Would Xavier feel disappointed? Amused? Blush colored Evan's cheeks, but he did his best to move gracefully forward so his lips brushed lightly against Xavier's ear, and he gave his answer in the most sultry, confident whisper he could muster.

"I can't cum."

He'd planned on doing something--anything--to sweep Xavier along after that, make the boy forget and cease to care what Evan's reply had been, but he found himself frozen instead, at least for a moment, his attention keen on picking up whatever minutia he could notice of Xavier's response.

((OOC: I don't think he will stay frozen long at all, but there's a lot of different ways this could go from here lol.))

Xavier could not have stopped Evan if he tried, but now when Evan's teeth withdrew from Xavier's neck, the lieutenant found himself whispering, "no, no," his fingers grasping at Evan's hands if only to press more surface area of his own skin onto Evan's.

But then Evan's breath was right next to Xavier's ear, and his eyes rolled back into his head, a quiet moan escaping his mouth. Oh, how dearly he still wanted to kiss his captain!

Then there were words coming out of Evan's mouth, and Xavier reeled himself in, trying to make sense of them beyond their seductive quality. Why was Evan talking again? Had Xavier said something? Oh, yes... it was coming back to him as he pulled himself up above the waters of bliss, the throbbing in his neck threatening constantly to pull him back down.

Before quite all of his mind had come back, Xavier turned his head as much toward Evan as he could, enjoying the ways this aggravated the throbbing, looking for Evan's eyes as he said, "Like, ever?" Xavier had never met anyone with a condition like that, but he supposed it was possible. Made sense, anyway. Was that a problem? Probably not if Evan was still doing all this and enjoying it. And he was enjoying it, right? Xavier certainly didn't need his partner to cum to enjoy himself. And them. Mmmm.

Was this part of why things with Evan had been so awkward before?

Xavier nipped at Evan's jaw, undeterred, and kissed the same place immediately afterward, hoping to reassure Evan that, whatever his dilemma, Xavier wanted more, whatever that meant.

When Evan felt Xavier turning towards him, he leaned back just enough to look the lieutenant in the eye, not exactly thrilled to show the boy his blush and sheepish expression, but preferring that to hiding at this point. Then the boy asked his question, and nipped and kissed at Evan's jaw, and the captain burst out laughing, releasing Xavier's wrists and sitting back on his knees as he did so.

"No, no," he said between chuckles as he recomposed himself, "I can, just..." he shot Xavier a wild, crooked grin as he brushed back his hair, though it grew a bit more sheepish as he searched for his next words.

"I promised the goddess I wouldn't."

He sobered pretty quickly once those words were out of his mouth. He had caught that Xavier didn't seem fazed by his first impression of Evan's declaration, but that didn't mean the boy wouldn't have feelings about this new framing of it. Evan could project into a million ways that the boy could see it as the goddess still interfering in their affairs, though in some ways he supposed he was the one who was letting it. His blush deepened a bit at that thought, embarrassment now bubbling up and tensing his shoulders and pulling his hands into fists on his thighs.

"In exchange she promised to leave you alone," he added on hastily, then realized Xavier lacked context for that. "I had to renegotiate with her from scratch last night. Everything's good now, though. Things are more solid. She's willing to release the Shel'ti for--well, you heard that part." Oh, gods, he knew he was babbling now. He wanted to say this was so unlike him, but that sounded just as embarrassing to do. Instead he clamped his jaw shut and searched Xavier's eyes, eager now to gauge how the boy was actually responding.

Xavier thought it strange that Evan was laughing, but he could not help but crack a smile at the same time. The laughter was contagious. But then Evan let go of his wrists, and Xavier found himself extremely disappointed, his smile falling and a veritable pouting frown appearing on his face, which looked ridiculous on his small face.

Evan's sheepish grin made up for it, though. It made it possible to believe that Evan really was just as awkward and embarrassed about all this as Xavier himself was, minus, perhaps, the devastation at the lack of touch.

I promised the goddess I wouldn't.

Oh. That's... so it was... Evan kept talking, and Xavier tried not to look sad, but of course, it wasn't working. He was appreciative that Evan was sharing details that felt important to their cause--it was good that things with the goddess were more stable now, even if it had meant completely renegotiating, but Evan had given up the ability to cum for Xavier's sake? For how long? Was Xavier's safety worth such a thing? Well, if Xavier was being honest, yes, probably. He would have done the same for someone else. The boy sat up, and his eyes fell to the ground for a few moments, contemplating.

Then, finally, he looked up at Evan, his wild, boyish grin flaring as he suddenly lunged forward and gently grasped Evan's exposed cock, stroking ever so slightly.

"So, you told her you would hold it back?" His smiled widened, if that was even possible. "For how long?" He stroked a few more times with his hand, crawling closer toward Evan, baffled by why they hadn't yet gotten to taking either of their shirts off yet. More pressing matters, he supposed.

Evan watched tensely as Xavier sat up and looked at the floor. His stomach sank down into his gut, heavy and spinning with worry that Xavier would be too disappointed and hurt to be interested in continuing.

The boy's wild grin when he looked back up caught Evan completely by surprise, and he hardly had time to make sense of it before the boy lunged towards him and stroked at his cock. Evan's whole body shuddered, and his awkwardness-softened cock re-hardened instantly under Xavier's touch. Before his mind was able to catch up, Evan's hands reached out to run over Xavier's shoulders, his neck, into his hair, beckoning him closer. He might have pulled the boy into a kiss, but words danced through the air again, and finally Evan was able to still his body, at least except for the twitches Xavier's hand elicited from his cock.

"I told her my next climax is hers." Evan answered through gritted teeth and a crooked grin as his fingers curled into Xavier's hair just enough to tug. Some annoyance certainly displayed in his narrowed eyes, but he hoped Xavier would understand it as part of the game it at least seemed to Evan the boy was initiating. Evan quickly moved his hands and lunged himself, pushing against Xavier's chest with one hand and pulling one of the boy's legs to the side with the other to help make sure he was successfully thrown off balance.

"And she didn't let me cum last night... " He continued with a soft growl beneath his voice, "nor the night before that..." His grin grew more sinister as he crawled over Xavier and found the boy's wrists to pin again. "So you can imagine..." By now his mouth grazed softly against Xavier's ear again, his voice fading to a raspy murmur. "I'm pretty fucking worked up."

And with that comment delivered, Evan withdrew, scooting backwards just enough to grasp at Xavier's hips and take the boy's cock into his mouth again, eager to get Xavier worked back up as well.

Xavier relished the ways that Evan pulled him closer, granting again all the touch that Xavier so desperately wanted back, sighing into Evan's cheek even as his own words were barely out of his mouth. As Evan tugged at Xavier's hair, Xavier had the impulse to look up at Evan, his captain's expression a mixture of frustration and exasperation and desire. Xavier felt like he understood what it meant, and for some reason, it widened his smile, which had left momentarily in the rush of Evan's movement. The fact that Xavier's hand still stroked at Evan's cock only further lit up Xavier's excitement, the sensation of it pinging off the insides of his body in every direction.

They weren't just gambling with their ranks--they were now gambling with Xavier's own safety and the potential wrath of the goddess.

And still, Xavier couldn't bring himself to pull his hand away.

Relieved from making that decision himself, Evan moved quickly and maneuvered his legs so that Xavier had little choice but to fall backward again, landing with a quick and heavy exhale on the hard ground. Xavier was almost in tears with how much he wanted Evan's body--everything about it--as all the pent-up desire he had felt for this man culminated within him.

All at once, he felt a flash of anger that he had to share Evan with the goddess at all. Even now, she was interfering. But Xavier's desire swallowed that, too, knowing deep down that Evan was doing exactly what was right for the cause and had offered such a thing for Xavier's own sake. Evan wanted to protect him. Xavier blushed profusely at that realization, his whole body gaining a deeper shade of red.

That blush only grew deeper when Evan talked through his gritted teeth about how the goddess had worked him up and left him wanting--twice now. Evan had been with the goddess of desire for gods' sake and hadn't orgasmed? Gods, Evan was right, he must be pretty worked up.

And that was the man, that was the cock, that was the desire that Evan was holding back now right in front of Xavier, and Xavier had to appreciate the complicated nature of it all--not to mention the fact that Evan had clearly wanted to tempt himself regardless. Let's go for a walk, indeed.

All this made Xavier heady with desire such that, when Evan took Xavier's hand away from his cock to pin his wrists again, this time with one hand, Xavier looked up with such a pleading expression, actual tears welling in his eyes from sheer amazement at it all. This was surely as exciting a tumble as anyone had ever had. Whether it was Xavier's begging expression or something else altogether that did it, Evan gasped Xavier's hips with his spare hand and used it to leverage Xavier's cock right back into his captain's mouth.

Hungrily, Xavier gasped and nearly shrieked with delight but held himself back at the last moment, remembering they needed to be quiet and frustrated that he couldn't even cover his mouth. His hips bucked of their own accord to press himself deeper into Evan's mouth, craving the sensation of the back of his captain's throat.

"Evan... Evan..." Xavier whispered, his head shaking slowly from side to side as the tears that had been threatening began spilling out now. The boy knew what he wanted now. It was plain as day all over his body, and yet, was it completely unfair to ask of Evan in his current state?

"Please, I need skin. I don't care about anything else. I need to feel your skin." Xavier's words were watery and just above a whisper. As though to demonstrate--or perhaps just to more thoroughly torture himself--he thrust several more frustrated times into Evan's mouth while simultaneously shifting his hips in the hopes that his underwear would come a little further down in the process.

Evan hummed against Xavier's cock, pleasure undulating through his own body at the feeling of the boy's desperate thrusts. He had to admit, it was deeply gratifying to get someone else's hips bucking uncontrollably. It made the ache in his own cock easier to bear, even pleasurable in the way it throbbed in time with the boy's hapless movements.

He heard his name on Xavier's lips, and it sent sweet tingles down his back. He wondered if the boy was getting close again, and began to plan when he'd pull away--there was absolutely no way he was ready to get the boy off just after all that. But then the boy murmured about skin, and Evan was struck rather suddenly by two very strong conflicting impulses to deny Xavier and oblige him. Gods, skin contact actually sounded really fucking good, now that he mentioned it, but Evan also wanted--yearned--to keep Xavier squirming.

The captain sat back on his knees, releasing all contact with the lieutenant. He met the boy's gaze with a wicked smirk as he contemplated how he wanted to torture him next, but that expression faltered almost immediately on taking in Xavier's expression. No, torturing the poor boy wasn't actually what he wanted--at least, not if it was going to be that kind of torture. For an instant, Evan's expression looked a bit scared, but he reeled it in and replaced it with a sheepish smile, before he got right down to business taking off and discarding his shirt.

((OOC: And if in that time Xavier doesn't get his shirt off, Evan would help with that next lol))

Evan hummed. He hummed. Xavier thought he was going to explode right then and there. Xavier's ears were greedy for the sound of it, wanting to record the exact tone of it so he could replay it in his dreams later. His blood felt like it was already choregraphing itself to the sound. But it still wasn't enough. Xavier wanted their skin to sing together, and it was too much being this far away!

Or was it?

Xavier squirmed against Evan's grip on his wrists, his eyes momentarily rolling back in his head as waves of pleasure settled over Xavier every time Evan's mouth changed direction.

But then Evan wasn't just changing direction--he was pulling away.

Xavier looked up at Evan immediately with an enormous gasp, sitting up lightning fast as soon as Evan released his hands. He needed to see Evan's face before he made a last-second decision on what to do next.

And there was Evan's smirk in its full glory, trained on Xavier and not just some secret plan Evan wanted Xavier in on. Evan was enjoying how difficult pulling away was on him!

With saltwater still on his cheeks, Xavier watched as Evan's expression changed, maybe even softened a little. And then, as though giving in, Evan reached to the hem of his shirt and began pulling it on over his head. Xavier's breath caught in his throat again, and now he really couldn't prevent his hands from launching him in Evan's direction, kissing the top of one of Evan's hipbones, the first place to be exposed. Xavier had seen Evan hundreds of times with his shirt off, but it was an altogether different experience inside Evan's tent with his length outside of his army-issue pants. Xavier grasped Evan's cock again as he kissed a diagonal line up Evan's torso, following the trail of Evan's shirt--oh, right, bandage--and then let go of Evan as his captain pulled the lieutenant's own shirt over his head, Xavier having to raise his arms to do so.

Ugh! It was, admittedly, a little frustrating that Xavier needed to worry about not getting Evan off, but the hunger for skin contact was too much for Xavier to care for long. As soon as his own shirt was off, Xavier launched into Evan, knocking him to the ground and planting kisses all over Evan's neck, their bodies pressed together from shoulders to knees. Xavier gasped a little between kisses, his hands moving to grasp and pull at Evan's upper arms as Xavier found Evan's lips and squeezed harder. He slid himself up and down Evan's body--and Evan's cock--slowly, the stimulation making it very difficult to concentrate on anything else. Xavier ran his hands down Evan's torso, reaching for his cock, and snagged a little on the bandage. He pulled his hand away and interrupted the kiss looked at Evan, worried he might have hurt him. But, no, it was a light snag, surely that wasn't enough to bother, and so Xavier continued reaching down to again grasp at Evan's cock, pressing it against his own while he continued with slow slides up and down the length of Evan's torso.

Evan hummed again, softly and absent-mindedly this time, when Xavier dove in to kiss his hip and grab his cock again. Honestly, he might've needed to hum to successfully propel his arms to continue getting his shirt off, rather than stopping dead to run his fingers through Xavier's hair and encourage more kisses. Blissfully, the boy kept on kissing without Evan's encouragement. Evan smiled in a rather pleased-with-himself sort of way, but was too intent on getting Xavier's shirt off now to bother trying to meet the boy's gaze about it. Xavier cooperated, sitting up and raising his arms just long enough for Evan to slip the fabric off, and then he practically dive-bombed the captain down to the ground.

Evan groaned softly but sharply, the sudden change in position reminding him of the injury at his side. He recovered quickly, though, that groan shifting effortlessly into yet another hum as Evan wrapped his arms around Xavier and soaked in the contact of their skin. The boy's barrage of kisses sent warm tingles splashing all over Evan's body, and he eagerly met Xavier's lips with his own once the boy came searching. One hand moved up to run through Xavier's hair, and the other ran lightly up and down the boy's spine in time with his movements. The boy withdrew slightly, and Evan met Xavier's gaze with blush and breathlessness, worry creeping subtly in to his expression the longer the boy paused.

As soon as Xavier reached for Evan's cock again--oh, gods, and his own; Evan could feel the delicious pressure of Xavier's length pressing against his in Xavier's grasp--he took that as a sign that whatever Xavier had snagged on he was past, and he eagerly pulled the boy back into another kiss. Some part of him thought he might go mad from the slowness of the boy's movements, but then again, even if he did, the pleasure of it all would be worth it. His hand stroked down the boy's spine again, and started making slow circles just above Xavier's tailbone, one more hum vibrating softly against the boy's lips.