Written Wonderland

They were making music.

Xavier didn't know what else he could possibly call it. Evan hummed into his lips, and Xavier couldn't tell which of them was making the sound. Somehow, they both were.

Xavier assumed the music was only in his own mind, but then Evan started stroking his tailbone with light fingers to the same rhythm.

Evan felt this, too. Hell, his body was making most of it. Xavier leaned to move the kiss back toward Evan's neck and then lowered his head to press against Evan's chest. Though his eyes closed, he could not help but imagine that he was looking into Evan's and their gray-blue glaciers, and then, yes, he was fantasizing about the very thing presently happening to him--all the while ensuring that his length pressed and slid against Evan's at a constant, agonizingly slow speed.

For the music.

"Xavier..."

The soft whisper tumbled from Evan's lips the instant Xavier's kisses moved to his neck, and a full-body shudder cascaded down and ultimately lifted his hips from the floor, if only briefly. The fingers in Xavier's hair curled a bit more tightly, but not quite enough to tug; more, he simply hugged the boy's head to his chest, and drank in the warmth that radiated from that contact.

Gods, how many times had he fantasized about this? Granted, not exactly this. The throb of Evan's arousal echoed in his ears, caught in his breath, and increased his fingers' pressure against Xavier's skin as more shudders moved through Evan's body. Gods, he wanted to move faster. He wanted to push inside of Xavier, or for Xavier to push inside him. He wanted to roll the boy over, indulge in more animalistic urges, make the boy writhe. But he kept himself steady, breathing through the pulses that urged him to act and sublimating them into shivers and increasingly desperate circles on Xavier's spine and scalp.

But finally, he couldn't fucking take it. As fantastically, indescribably good as that humming, buzzing, shivering, undulating state had been, Evan found himself exploding out of it all at once. He growled and pushed Xavier over and grabbed at the boy's hips, frantically pulling the boy back against him to lay with his back against Evan's chest. It was fucking torture to feel his cock hot and hard against Xavier's backside, but he focused that energy into wrapping one arm under Xavier's neck and around the boy's chest, and sending the other eagerly over the boy's hip to grab Xavier's cock and start stroking.

"Xavier..."

He echoed by the boy's ear, his voice starting out as a growl but quieting hastily to a raspy whisper as he caught himself and realized they should still watch their noise. Gods, he felt pissed at all the different ways they had to hold themselves back, but at least there was one way in which they didn't--not that Evan wanted to put pressure on the boy, though.

Evan sank his teeth into Xavier's shoulder in no small part to shut himself up, and slowed down the motions of his hand, letting his own body undulate subtly as though he were inside Xavier, prompting his cock to twitch in frustration against the boy's back as his throat pushed out a soft groan against Xavier's skin. Oh, he absolutely wanted to get Xavier to climax, but it wouldn't do to just demand it as soon as he wanted it; he needed to listen to where Xavier's body actually was, first. So he focused his attention on that, on feeling how Xavier moved and listening to how he breathed, and slowly increased the speed of his hand (and decreased the pressure of his teeth, if needed) to truly harmonize with the state of Xavier's body.

And then Evan started shivering beneath him. It was delicious. Xavier could feel his body practically drinking in each of Evan's movements, a shock of excitement rushing through his whole body as Evan's hips lifted. Was Evan getting close? Did Xavier need to worry about that? Surely, he needed to help Evan obey the goddess here, right? That was the kind thing to do, the safe thing to do, but it wasn't at all what he wanted to do. But how much harder was Xavier willing to make this on Evan?

Evan's warm breath against Xavier's neck rhythmically eliciting shivers from Xavier's own body, waves of hums and quiet moans making their way out through Xavier's lips, the movements of Evan's fingers against his lower spine and scalp distractingly amazing. Had Xavier ever experienced something that felt this good? It didn't seem possible. On some level, Xavier was grateful that they were having to take their time with all this, even though Xavier wanted more more than he had ever thought possible.

But then Evan broke contact before Xavier knew what was happening, his face full of shock and desperation as Evan moved him. Xavier assumed that Evan was going to push him away, that things would need to end here, and a knot of grief began to form in Xavier's stomach, but Evan's hands were on the lieutenant's hips, and Evan was rolling him over and once again pressing against Xavier, this time with Xavier's back against Evan's chest. The tears that had filled Xavier's eyes on account of the grief came out anyway on account of this newest wave of pleasure. Had he ever been positioned on top of someone like this? No, and the lack of control was exhilarating. Evan's cock pressed against the very beginning of the crevasse of Xavier's ass and light spasms wracked Xavier's body, making it impossible to prevent himself from arching his back to grind on Evan in that place, inching Evan closer to being inside him, nudging his own underwear further down. This, of course, only made Evan's grip around Xavier's neck a little tighter, but he didn't mind in the slightest. He wanted all the physical contact he could possibly have in this moment.

And, in the midst of all that, Evan grabbed Xavier's cock and said his name tantalizingly into the back of his neck, by his ear, making his back arch again and again in desperation, now both encouraging Evan's cock lower and thrusting further into Evan's hand. Xavier continued this motion, biting his lips to prevent any sounds from escaping, though his breath was very heavy now, and his body had a glisten of well-earned sweat, especially where their bodies touched. As Evan's body undulated in time with his, it almost felt as though Evan were really inside, but his mind couldn't quite let himself believe that.

"Please, please," Xavier found himself saying despite his better judgment. What exactly was he asking for? All of it, everything, more than this, more of this... and perhaps if he were lucky, just a taste of what it would feel like to truly have Evan inside him.

Gods, Evan relished the way Xavier squirmed in his arms, even the way the boy's movements kept Evan's cock throbbing. It would be so easy to push inside; just a light tug of that lingering underwear, a gentle guiding of Xavier's ass, and...

Then the boy started pleading for it, his soft "Please, please..." dripping from his lips and fanning the flame in Evan's groin. The captain's grip tightened around Xavier's length, and he dug his teeth into the boy's neck a little deeper as his hips pushed up against the boy's back and wavered. Did he dare? Fuck, he wanted to. His hand released Xavier's cock to slip its thumb into the waistband of the boy's underwear and start to slide it down, though that motion wavered and stalled as well. Evan growled into Xavier's skin in frustration. Then, finally, he forced his jaw to release, and he pressed his palm flatly against Xavier's backside as he stiffened his body and murmured into the boy's ear.

"It's risky." He said softly, his voice a rich whisper. He took in a breath and managed to summon an impressive amount of stillness with it, and his arm around Xavier's chest gave the boy a subtle squeeze. He exhaled smoothly, and then drew in another breath more sharply as if to say something else, but instead he exhaled a soft, frustrated groan. Gods fucking damnit, indecision was not usually something that afflicted Evan, but it weighed on him heavily now, and he honestly wasn't sure how he wanted to proceed.

Evan hand squeezed tighter around Xavier's cock, and all at once, the lieutenant was worried he might not make it long enough for Evan to explore further... if that was what Evan was about to do. It was a good thing that Evan distracted him by deepening the bite on his neck. It pulled Xavier far enough out of the pleasure radiating from his back and hips to stave his orgasm off. In fact, Evan's bite was starting to get uncomfortable. Would Xavier need to say something?

But then Evan's hand left Xavier's cock and went instead toward pushing down Xavier's underwear, and he gasped with excitement, a jolt of shock running the length of him. But then Evan stopped, and Xavier almost cried again. The growl, at least, and the fact that Xavier knew what Evan was frustrated about, made it easy to disbelieve that something was wrong between them. As though unsure where else to put his hand, Evan slid it down and pressed it against Xavier's backside, and the motion couldn't help but convince Xavier that it might be time to sit up.

Before he could manage it, though, Evan's whisper came hot and alluring behind his ear.

It's risky, Evan said, lighting up all of Xavier's nerves and sending a few quick spasms through his body, and his eyes momentarily rolled back. How many times had Evan said something similar before launching the two of them into battle or adventure with his irresistible smirk?

Was Evan trying to talk him into it or warn him against it? Xavier seemed to know what the right answer was. Take the risk! That's what Evan was known for, after all, and Xavier had done everything he could to go along with his captain, not that Xavier had ever not wanted to.

But now...

They had the cause to think about. And Xavier's own safety. Was Xavier willing to let Evan risk that because Xavier wanted all of this now? Was it fair to make Evan responsible for that decision? Xavier wanted to say yes, to fall back into bliss with Evan, but the lingering chill of doubt clung around the muscular walls of his heart and persuaded him into motion.

Finally, Xavier rolled halfway over on top of Evan, twisting somewhat awkwardly but nevertheless adorably, in order to meet Evan's eyes and the unease the boy knew he would find there.

"Is it... just my safety? Nothing else?" Realizing how that sounded, Xavier added quickly, "I mean, if it's just... if she would only... I mean it wasn't that bad. And, it's not like it would catch you off guard in the same way..." He hoped Evan understood what he was getting at. But then all at once, Xavier blushed and turned away, sitting up fully between Evan's legs and refusing to look at him. Was he really trying to convince Evan to penetrate him? Now Evan would know, for sure, how much Xavier really wanted it. Ughhhhh.

"But, I mean, this has been really nice. I don't... I don't need..." Xavier voice was shaking, but he took a breath and pulled his socks off, preparing to say more though he was still unable to look at Evan.

((OOC: If Evan would not interrupt Xavier, we can continue.))

Evan swallowed nervously as Xavier rolled over to face him, though the way the boy twisted was adorable enough to also solicit a timid smirk at the corner of the captain's lips--and send a splash of warmth through his chest.

Xavier's question caught him by surprise, though, and that played plainly across his face, along with a ripple of confusion. The boy kept rambling, and Evan's cheeks colored more and more hotly as he thought back to the goddess' little intrusion other day. In a way it was relieving--exciting, even--that Xavier seemed to be giving Evan permission to drop that particular issue with the goddess, at least in exchange for throwing restraint to the wind for now. Gods, Evan would be lying if he said that wasn't appealing on multiple levels, even if he still felt something giving him pause.

The captain propped himself up on his elbows as Xavier withdrew, worry washing through his body as he watched the boy's back for signs of his mood. His blush re-reddened, though, at the sudden and deep realization that Evan had never looked at Xavier's bare back this way before. Seen it, sure, but not looked at. It was a beautiful sight, though Evan wasn't sure he'd be able to read it accurately.

For better or for worse, it wasn't necessary; the boy spoke up, and the warble in his voice nearly cut through Evan's heart. Before Xavier even finished speaking, Evan pushed himself up to sit on his knees behind Xavier and wrap his arms around the boy to pull him into a firm hug.

"I don't think I should push the agreement tonight," he said softly and with a note of apology, tightening his hug just a little bit more as he did so. He cycled through breathing in like he was going to say something else and then exhaling instead again, but this time recovered on a second try.

"I'd-- like to continue, just--" Evan tightened the hug once more, and then released it with a sigh and scooted over next to Xavier, taking a moment to pause and try to catch the boy's eye before continuing.

"I might hurt you... if we get too out of hand." His hands balled into fists on his knees, and he watched Xavier's expression (or whatever the boy would let him see of it) with a mixture of worry and somberness--and quite a deep shade of blush.

Xavier tried to force words out past the block forming in his throat, but he was firmly caught now, exasperated, waiting for Evan to say or do something and terrified that he would.

When Evan's arms wrapped around Xavier's ribs, an exhale he didn't realize he had been holding in escaped his lips as he sank subtly into the hug. Goodness, it was good to feel the warmth of Evan's body against his naked back. He was so grateful for the skin contact once more.

But... then... a much less sultry whisper at his ear, telling him exactly what Xavier feared the most. That this would end, here, now.

At least the hug was tight. And getter tighter. Yep, those muscles felt exactly the way Xavier thought they would--and better. His face flushed, his body radiated warmth. At least there was something to stave off the feeling of separation Xavier would need to push himself through.

Then Evan broke contact, and it was all Xavier could do not to fall backward, but as it was, he hardly leaned while Evan resituated himself in front of the lieutenant. Good grief, the captain was beautiful, even and especially when he looked utterly exasperated and energized in that way he had. Maybe it was the color of his cheeks or the icy blaze in his eyes, but...

Yes, captivating, to be sure.

I might hurt you... Somehow, that was not at all what Xavier expected Evan to say. Wasn't the issue that the goddess would hurt Xavier? Evan didn't think himself accountable for her actions, did he? No, that didn't seem right. The almost-slap, then? But Xavier could handle that, couldn't he? For what he might get in return?

Which was what, exactly? If Evan was uncomfortable going back on the agreement, what could they do?

Xavier finally giggled a little, realizing the goddess hadn't said Xavier couldn't come. But... was that fair? To orgasm in front of Evan even would Evan couldn't?

The lieutenant looked up through his hair and smiled sheepishly, looking from one of Evan's eyes to the other. And then he leaned forward dramatically--hopping a little forward on his butt if he had to--and snuck a quick peck of a kiss from Evan's lips.

"You worry too much about me," Xavier said, knocking Evan lightly in the arm with his loosely held fist. He then looked up and away from Evan as though there were something interesting in the top corner of the tent, thinking, wondering.

Xavier's sudden peck of a kiss sent a splash of warmth over Evan's entire body, and the captain couldn't help the airy chuckle-gasp that escaped his lips as the lieutenant pulled away. Then, a playful punch on his arm, and the lieutenant telling Evan he worried about him too much...

A smirk curled on the captain's lips, and a low, soft growl rumbled in his chest. All right, then.

All at once, the captain lurched forward, grabbing at Xavier's shoulder and hip to twist the boy face-down onto the ground, ass up. The hand on Xavier's hip pulled the boy's underwear down, and Evan situated himself swiftly to press his length between the boy's cheeks and put pressure on his opening. The motion was so strong and hasty, it might've seemed that the captain's intention was to push inside full-force, but he stopped short of breaching, although his length twitched in frustration against the boy, and a deep growl-groan reverberated into his throat.

The captain only lingered there for a moment, though, before shifting back just enough to spit on his hand and rub it down the length of his cock. His whole body repressed a shiver, and he finally started to push slowly inside. As he did so he pressed his chest against Xavier's back, and released the boy's shoulder to brace himself against the ground and allow Xavier a small bit more movement. His breath fell heavy beside Xavier's ear, and his free hand caressed up Xavier's hip and around to grasp the boy's length, gently for now, and beginning to stroke in slow, languorous time along with the movement of his hips.

It was going to be difficult as fuck to hold himself back doing this, but when did the captain ever take the easy way out, anyway?

Xavier was grateful to hear Evan's chuckle, although it sent another spike of disappointment through Xavier's chest. They were going back to banter now, huh? Just back to business. Captain and lieutentant, playful friends... may as well start putting his clothes back on. Damn the goddess! Whoa, did he really just think that?

The boy was in the middle of mentally apologizing to her when Evan's hands took hold of Xavier's hip and shoulder, catching Xavier completely off guard and sending him tumbling rather ungracefully face down to the ground. And then in one fluid movement, Evan's hand pulled down Xavier's underwear, and the boy gasped as his knees took a little of his weight, his body thrumming again and bursting with internal fireworks of excitement. Was it happening? What was happening?

And then, all at once, Xavier felt the tip of Evan's cock press against the crevasse of his ass, and Xavier pushed his face into his arm to keep himself from making further noises. A flash of memory of a particularly painful sexual encounter came to mind, and Xavier suddenly wondered if that's why Evan was afraid of hurting him. Xavier buried his face further, his breath heavy as he told himself to relax, relax, relax.

He did want this. Oh boy, did he ever want this.

Evan's growl and pause made waves of thrill swim through Xavier, making the relaxation worlds easier as he settled his weight more comfortably on his elbows as well as keeping a slight pressure on his knees, which he used to press Evan in just the tiniest bit further. And then, reading Xavier's body, Evan pushed even further in, and further, igniting every sensation Xavier had access to all along the way--shame, desire, fear, arousal, pain, pleasure, embarrassment. But, more than anything, there was an overwhelming sensation of awe. This was really happening.

Xavier could not help the noises that issued out of him now, a soft grunt followed by a lengthy moan as his eyes rolled and he arched his backed to allow Evan the last little way inside. And then the warmth of Evan's chest lay smoothly against Xavier's back and Evan's hand wound around Xavier's now very erect cock, making Xavier very much enveloped by this man he had spent so much of his army career fantasizing about. Hot breath washed Xavier's ear, and he shuddered and vibrated pleasantly, rocking his hips in the same slow rhythm Evan used.

"Grrrrrrraaaahh..." Xavier said in what he hoped was his quiet voice, though it was already unlikely that he could properly tell. His body was already beginning to lurch with that divine sensation of so close. "Evan... Evan..." Xavier said in just above a whisper.

The tears were threatening again as a sensation of hunger amplified everything Xavier was feeling. It had been altogether too long since he'd felt this and... well... the other times weren't... were barely worth remembering, really. But this...

"Evan... Evan..." Xavier's voice was quiet and nearly prayer-like as he pushed back onto Evan's cock, hoping he could hold himself off just a little... just a little longer...

Evan relished the way Xavier's body vibrated around and pushed against him. The captain could hardly help how quickly his hips sped up, though he did his best to keep an eye on it. Gods, his cock ached and throbbed at the thought of pulling out, but Evan made peace with the idea that he might have to at some point, if he couldn't even fucking keep his pace steady. Here was just hoping he could last long enough for Xavier's sake, at least.

The boy was grunting and moaning fucking beautifully, and Evan tried to channel at least some of his desire to speed up further into his hand, letting its motions on Xavier's cock outpace those of his hips. The boy had started vocalizing, delicious nonsense spilling from his lips between chants of Evan's name that stroked the captain's back and chest and scalp with pride and pleasure. Some distant worry about their volume floated far away in the air behind Evan, too removed to have any impact on the captain's enjoyment of what was happening.

"Xavier..." he groaned, and then bit into the boy's shoulder, and then released it and groaned the boy's name again, his hand and hips both gaining yet more speed and firmness. He could feel a buzz of panic starting to pick up in his gut as he wondered if he'd be able to stop, but that sure as fuck wasn't enough to make him stop prematurely. He just had to fucking hope that he'd manage when the time came, and in the meantime, he desperately hoped that Xavier at least could make the most of this.

To that end, the captain experimented with his grip on the lieutenant's cock, his thumb and his palm taking turns at rubbing over the tip and his grasp trying out different positions and pressures. Gauging the lieutenant's responses was not only delicious, but also, mercifully, gave Evan something constructive to focus on, even enough that he was able to let up on his hips' speed a little. Which, was a double-edged sword; the buzzing in his gut relaxed slightly, but gods his cock ached and throbbed in protest, and the captain grit his teeth and groaned in frustration.

Without even thinking, Evan pushed himself upright to free his braced hand, which promptly tangled its fingers in Xavier's hair and closed its grip just tightly enough to pull light stings from Xavier's scalp. Infuriatingly, that angle didn't work well for what Evan's other hand wanted to do, though, and so with another growl he released Xavier's hair, slapped the boy's ass--just hard enough for a sting to splash across the skin--and then leaned back down, so his hand on Xavier's cock could focus on the gestures he'd tried before that had seemed to get the most delicious responses from the boy's body.