Written Wonderland

Dehaljadrun watched Evan’s dreams for a very long time. It was one of the few times she stopped herself from interfering—well, much. She reveled in the ways Evan’s mind replayed the night they had spent together and even appreciated Xavier’s presence, though she certainly redirected Evan’s thoughts if she ever felt like he was spending too much time there. Evan’s—really there was no other way to put it—glee filled her with elation, and she could have stayed there for as long as Evan was asleep, but the goddess had matters to attend to.

After several hours of lying in her meditation circle, Dehaljadrun finally managed to extricate herself from Evan’s subconscious. When she opened her eyes, she was breathing very heavily and had an enormous craving for his body again. She thought about using one of her thralls again, but...
With a frustrated sigh, Dehaljadrun sat up and put her head in her hands. She tried to convince herself that she was only this interested in this captain because he was the best chance she had at getting to the upper realms, but it was difficult to be persuasive when it felt like every cell in her body wanted to touch him again. Really touch him. Here, in her realm.

That was all the king’s fault, too, though. She had been desperate for that kind of interaction and only had access to it every few years when the priestess found other unsuspecting candidates. Had she felt this way about them, though? She thought back to the two men who had been to her realm as the result of summonings over the past near-decade and shivered, remembering how both of them had fallen altogether too easily to her influence. One of them had at least made it nearly all the way through a second night with her, and she reminded herself there was no guarantee that Evan was going to make it that far. But, she wanted him to. She needed to hold herself back if she was going to make any headway at all, but she still needed to test him. The trip to the underworld wasn’t going to be easy.
Sighing again, she stood and put on pants and a travel cloak. It was time to visit the tree.
 
--
 
Her demons, which always grew more excited and agitated when an unenthralled human came into the realm, clung to the edges of her side of the forest and met her when she reached them. They gave her a wide berth, at least until she made eye contact with one or the other of them. One approached her, and she reached across its back to stroke it briefly before moving on. She interacted with several of them this way as she moved toward the heart of the forest. Many of them followed her, most from a ways behind her, but she didn’t mind. In fact, today, she appreciated the company.
It was a journey she had taken many times before, although the necessity to make the trip had lessened significantly over the past decade. Still, she wanted to be prepared.

Dehaljadrun reached the bottom of the valley where she saw the first glimpse of the tree up on its elevated plain. The trees here were much darker and yet more vibrant, black but almost fluid-looking at the edges of the leaves where the rest of the color of the forest—albeit primarily the red and purple glow of the mist and the demons—reflected. It was nothing short of beautiful, and though Dehaljadrun had been caretaker of this area for millennia, it never ceased to inspire awe in her. It was the one piece of the realm—other than the fae structures, she supposed begrudgingly—she hadn’t created herself. It had come with her.

The demons did not walk with her up the hill; they knew better than to approach the tree. Nonetheless, she knew they were watching from below, and the thought gave her comfort.

In walking up the slight incline, there was a point at which the trees grew sparse and then receded altogether except for a single tree at the top of a gradual incline. It was here that Dehaljadrun stopped and lowered her hood. The tree in the center of the inclined area was incredibly compelling. Though it was shorter than many of the other trees in the forest—its lowest boughs only barely tall enough for a person to stand under—it was obvious that there was a presence about this tree, a power. It was the one of the only places Dehaljadrun had ever approached with reverence.

Bowing her head, she waited until she received permission to come closer, until every inch of her body was listening and aware of the draw. Only then did she move forward, her steps far more guided by the pull of the tree than her own volition. As she came closer, she could see the small glowing red orbs hanging from it, some at eye level once she fully arrived. The goddess knelt before the trunk of the tree, around which was a circular shrine extending all the way around the base. She had added a lot to it over the years of coming here, and nothing had ever been moved except by her influence. If there were beings, whether inside or outside her realm, who knew of both the location and the purpose of the tree, they did not dare cross its sacred threshold. No, it was just her now and for nearly as far back as she could remember.
Dehaljadrun put her hands on two prominent and partly exposed roots that she had accentuated with the shrine and bowed her head yet again. Listening, waiting. The draw of the tree, its compelling nature, amplified Dehaljadrun’s own energy such that it felt as though it flowed from the top of her bowed head into the trunk only so she could be replenished by the roots. She stayed like this for some time, losing herself completely to the process of symbiotic circulation with the tree. She felt her anxieties about Evan fading away, the fear of being trapped here indefinitely loosen from her heart, and the sound of rushing water fill in the edges of her perception. If only it were possible to approach the upper realms this way; they felt so much closer while she was here.

Finally, Dehaljadrun lifted her head and noticed that several additional red orbs had appeared on the tree near her while she had been kneeling. She stood and reached up toward one of them, delicately touching it with several of her fingers to lengthen the orb. It became a portal still attached to the tree, and she caressed the edges of it, silently lamenting that she could not use the portal to go anywhere outside of her own realm. But, she reminded herself, others might be able to use them on her behalf, sooner rather than later. After circling the edges of the portal, the goddess watched it shrink back into its original size and then smaller such that it was ready to be harvested. The goddess plucked it from the tree then and put it into her inner cloak pocket with the few others she still had. She repeated this process with the other orbs that had appeared during her stay such that she had collected a fair number.

When she was finished, Dehaljadrun bowed toward the tree and made her way back down the incline, feeling far more grounded than when she had first arrived.
 
--
 
It didn’t take long for her desire for Evan to return, however, and she took to replaying some of her favorite moments from the night previous. His sinister grin, the way he moved toward her after she removed his lightning bands, his ability to get her to offer even more to him just at the idea of him chanting her name again… Fuck. Fuck. She began to worry that she had given in too easily. What if he thought he could use her to get other things he wanted? Her mind wandered to thinking about the moment when her wrist gave out in the springs, when she allowed him to have access to her, when her knees practically gave out as he dug his nails into her… Fuck. When had she ever given into a man like that? Not since… No. She tried to assure herself that Evan was nothing like the king, that Evan wanted him dead just as much she did, but it didn’t help. She resolved that the next time she saw Evan, the goddess would not give in as easily.

She felt gratified that at least she had something of a plan now. She went back to the springs, took off her clothes, and retrieved the stone that Evan had thrown in the water, which had returned to its regular temperature. She stood there in the water, gleaming the way she always did after a visit to the tree, holding that stone between her two hands delicately, its flat sides comforting to her touch. She looked briefly at the pile of other almost-identical stones and took this one with her, dressing quickly and placing the stone with the portals under her cloak.

Dehaljadrun went back to her palace and looked over the soldiers she had left. There were three of them, and she chose the smallest one. She remembered how Philip had wanted to trade himself for this little one and smirked, glancing over at where Philip stood equally enthralled. At least Evan had the sense to negotiate with her properly. But she didn’t want to think about Evan right now.

Taking Nathan’s hand, she led him over to one corner of the palace filled with cushions and laid him down there. She stared at him for a moment, appreciating how helpless he looked. The goddess took her clothes off and laid behind Nathan, slipping the cloth off him in one smooth gesture. For a moment, she just held him, stroking his hair and listening to his whimpers, before her mind began to wander toward Evan again and her cock became hard. She pressed her length gently against Nathan’s ass, waiting for it to open further so she could fit herself all the way in. Regardless of the fact that she never meant to actually make a deal about Nathan with Philip, it was undeniable that she was at least a little gentler with Nathan than she was with her other thralls.

Except… she did enjoy his embarrassment immensely. Once she got him going, he could not help but wiggle into her body, craving more and more and more, and right now, she did want to give it to him, if only to get her mind off… Fuck. There the fantasies were again, spilling into her, her body begging for Evan’s body, not the body of this thin wraith of a boy. Still, as though to prove to herself that she didn’t actually need Evan, Dehaljadrun quickened her pace inside the boy, relishing in the way he trembled when she did so, until she climaxed within him. Afterward, without removing herself from his body, she continued holding him until his trembling stopped. Perhaps if she were human, she would have fallen asleep, but she just rested there with the boy, relishing in the feeling of release, even if it hadn’t compared to… Fuck. She had no idea how she was going to wait until he returned, but the goddess was determined not to give Evan any additional leverage on her than he already had.

When she finally got the will to move again, she gathered her cloak and pulled the purple stone from the springs out. She held it in one hand and used the other to touch electricity to it, causing a spark that reignited its flame. Dehaljadrun grinned greedily, hungrily, and though she was sorely tempted to make Evan wait a whole other night to see her—she had never promised that they would be consecutive nights, after all—it was obvious that she was not going to be able to wait. Especially not when the stone awakened and gave her some access to the state Evan was in. When she focused, she found him inches from Xavier in Xavier’s tent, and her smirk deepened. Oh, this was going to be good.

After Dehaljadrun's Third Night with Evan

Dehaljadrun's eyes blinked open slowly, her awareness returning to the airy chill of her palace's open layout. She had one hand on her chest and one had over her lower belly, and everything ached. She took a deep breath and rolled to her side, groaning as she did so. Gods, her realm felt empty, especially after experiencing all the emotions of all the people under her dome. The silence here was deafening, broken only by the rustling of leaves outside and the occasional crackle of the goddess' electric flames.

Standing up finally from the cold ground, the goddess ran her hands over her body in a half-hearted attempt at warming her naked body.

Walking deeper into the palace, behind the throne, the goddess buried herself in the blankets there, hungry for any lingering scent of Evan in them. She buried her face, aching as her eyes started to water.

Some woman Evan had fucked was taking care of her child. The king's child.

And she had given Evan all his men back.

Her freedom depended on him.

And soon she would give up the Shel'ti.

The goddess rolled over, silent tears running down toward her ear now.

Humans were just as treacherous as gods. Fuck.

How easy she was manipulated by them.

She thought about having the Shel'ti come to keep her company, but that felt hollow, empty. It would only intensify her loneliness.

The image she had seen of Evan's hands on Yukiko's throat, the way they had melted into bliss. But Dehaljadrun was a goddess. Why did any of that matter?

Dehaljadrun wasn't prepared to answer that question. She just wanted Evan back, wanted him to keep all his promises, wanted him to bring actual volunteers to her realm.

And he would. Or there was no deal. No killing the king for them. All attacks allowed.

The goddess briefly smiled as she imagined the havoc she could have caused in camp. She did hope Ramanujan would come back. She imagined he wouldn't be able to stop himself. And really, how many of them could?

Her mouth fell again, at least until she remembered the sensations of Evan's hands against her body, the vibrations of his groans against her, the withdrawal of his climax. The goddess' body shivered, aching all over again as her cock filled with blood.

She should have asked him to stay. It was unbearable here without him.

Again, she wondered about demanding that the Shel'ti come to soothe her, but she was disgusted by the idea. Hell, what if she just let them go now? What use were they to her now that she could barely look at them?

The goddess sat up in bed, the blankets falling around her hips as she raised herself up with her arms, arching her body up and expanding her awareness such that she felt everything in her vicinity. Twenty-eight Shel'ti, all of them located.

Return, she said inside each of their minds simultaneously.

And then, she was truly and completely alone.

The goddess lay among her crumpled blankets for a long while, shifting regularly as she attempted to replay memories from her nights with Evan: the thrill of moving against him in the heat of the hot springs, the exhilaration of their flight together, the sensation of sharing a body while he touched the gates to the underworld... But, she kept getting interrupted by other nagging thoughts and insecurities. She simply couldn't shake the idea that he was playing her. And really, could she blame herself for that? After all, the king had played a perfect game, pulling all the strings just outside of her awareness...

And then she was plunged into a memory of the king that Ramanujan had absolutely seen when she had enthralled him... the two of them coupled together, entwined as he stroked her forehead, an actual smile alighting her features as she gazed up at him, and he asked her... Don't make me leave you, please. Turn me into a...

De... Dehal... Dehalllllllljadrunnnnnnnnn. The goddess snapped out of the thought and opened her eyes. Where was that voice coming from? All the thralls had been returned and the demons didn't sound like...

De... Dehal... Dehalllllljadrunnnnnnnn. Okay, yes, that voice was starting to get on the goddess' nerves, but she couldn't possibly ignore it. Pulling the blankets off to one side, the goddess stood and dressed herself in a long, dark travelling cloak and tight black pants, boots lacing themselves up her calves.

Reaching out with her awareness, the goddess' brow furrowed because it seemed like the voice was coming from several places at once, but how was that...

"Hello!" The goddess opened her eyes to find a short, white-haired girl with one brown eye and one blue eye staring up at her uncomfortably close. The goddess fell back a step or two before having to sit down on the foot of the bed to catch her balance.

The goddess looked the girl over with some level of guarded confusion. She was certain she had no memory of her... right? Although, there was certainly an energy about her that was familiar... was she someone's pawn? She didn't look fae, what with the mismatched colors in her patchwork clothing. The dark fae had much more pompous outfits, even among their lowliest imps. And the girl definitely wasn't from among the djinn; no smell of smoke. Who had sent her, then?

The goddess raised her eyebrow, refusing to answer the girl but staring pointedly at her. When the goddess tried to reach out mentally to the girl, there was only a blankness like thick fog. What kind of spell would prevent the touch of the goddess' awareness?

"I bet you're wondering who I am. And why I'm here," the girl said in a sing-song voice, gently stubbing one toe down on the intricate rugs that criss-crossed the floor. "Well, I'll tell you. You sent me." The girl smiled at this, and Dehaljadrun decided all at once that the girl made her deeply uncomfortable. She didn't like the sounds of this at all.

"You told me not to let you be alone, so here I'm to keep you company!"

Finally, the goddess spoke, "I don't know who you are, and what you're saying doesn't make any sense. Now, leave this place before I have to tell you again."

The girl's smile widened, and her eyes closed happily. "No."

The goddess did little to hide her anger, her fingers twitching with electricity, partly as reaction, partly in threat. "You have some audacity, girl. Where did you come from?"

"The Underworld," the girl said simply, her eyes meeting the goddess' once again, and Dehaljadrun inhaled sharply. She knew the girl wasn't lying, but... The goddess' angered flared, now partly motivated by fear, and she stood, rushing to grab the shoulders of the girl, but the girl disappeared and reappeared leaning against the far wall before the goddess could touch her, smiling back pleasantly.

"You... you know, then? What's keeping me here?" the goddess finally asked, exasperated.

"Yep!" the girl said, and the way she crossed her arms with amusement told the goddess that the girl wasn't going to elaborate beyond that. How to manipulate her, then? But the blankness in the girl's mind gave Dehaljadrun nothing to go on, nothing to tempt her with. Gods damnit.

"And this is because I sent the Shel'ti off?"

The girl nodded, and the goddess sighed, running her fingers through her hair in frustration. Maybe she could enthrall someone quickly just to make this thing go away? But Dehaljadrun had a feeling that the girl would watch the whole time, and the goddess shivered at the thought.

"You said I sent you. What do you mean by that?" In response, the girl drug a pinched thumb and forefinger across her mouth and smiled. Not making any headway there, then. Fuck.

"So, when Evan returns... you'll leave?" the goddess asked, wondering if even that was too much to hope for. But, again, the girl nodded and smiled pleasantly.

"And until then...?" the goddess asked, wondering if the girl was just going to smile and nod at her the whole day.

"Why don't you show me around?" the girl asked, smile dropping a little as she uncrossed her arms.

"What will you give me in return?" the goddess asked, not accustomed to giving favors away for nothing.

"I won't do this," the girl said, and suddenly the blank wall of fog of girl's mind lifted and a horrifying flash of garish images flooded the goddess' mind and burned her inner eyes, flashing faces and colors flying and swerving and making expressions like all the worst kinds of comically graphic nightmares. The goddess fell to the ground grasping at her head as the sound of panes of glass breaking one at a time in a stack flooded her ears.

"Stop! Stop!" the goddess cried uncontrollably, and then it did.

Mirrah stopped and waited patiently for the goddess to recover, coming over briefly to put her hand on Dehaljadrun's shoulder before returning in a shimmer across the room. The girl met the goddess' gaze with confidence.

"It's not..." the goddess said, her chest heaving but momentarily lighter somehow. "...in the Underworld?" She didn't know how she knew that based on the mess the girl--Mirrah--had rolling around in her mind. Her mind never could fully keep her secrets.

Still, the girl looked genuinely surprised for a few moments, and the goddess could hear in the girl's breath that she had struck a chord. But... fuck. That meant...

But Mirrah recovered, saying, "You did make an assumption."

Dehaljadrun stood slowly, gracefully, having waited until she had the energy to do it in one smooth, slick motion. "So he managed to ascend..." the goddess said, momentarily in shock, "with an agenda."

The girl shrugged. "To be fair, they locked you out of the Underworld, too. Something about motivation." Suddenly, all the aches in Dehaljadrun's chest deepened at once, but she fought flinch she felt.

"I'm not taking you anywhere," the goddess said pointedly to the girl. The girl's shoulders moved up and down uncaringly.

"Think he can make it?" Mirrah said, "The army captain?" and smirked.

"You came here to tell me this. Why?" the goddess said, ignoring her question.

The girl shrugged her gaudy, mismatched sleeves again and then said, "You've tried this before. We're saving you some time." Mirrah took a breath and continued, looking away from the goddess for a moment. "There was some concern when you started hedging bets."

Evan. And releasing the Shel'ti, the goddess thought. And sighed.

"How did he do it. Get someone to ascend?" Dehaljadrun asked, placing a hand on her hip, a furrow coming over her brow.

The girl covered her mouth dramatically and smiled, and Dehaljadrun let out another heavy breath. She hated the idea. The king would have had to have known it would be harder for her to break a spell in the upper realms. That he had planned it exactly how it would hurt the most, achieving ascension. And for personal gain in a lower realm.

She wondered for the thousandth time why she had loved him. Something about audacity? The thought wormed into her mind, and the goddess shot a look at the white-haired girl.

And then, past that, the fact that the other gods had let him keep her trapped. In all their divine wisdom. Fuck, no, it had to be a trick. He had to have tricked them. But, trick perfection?

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. She hated every option. Except maybe that this girl, Mirrah, was lying. Gah, the goddess hated her.

"You don't really have to stay, do you?" Dehaljadrun said, taking a step closer to the girl in unconscious intimidation.

"Nope," the girl said with an intolerable smile on her face. "I lied." And disappeared.

The goddess seated herself on the bed when she realized Mirrah had gone and rubbed the side of her cheeks for a few moments. Gods, she was tired. Losing all the thralls at once? That would do it. Not to mention how fucking much she already wanted Evan back. So she could tear him to pieces over that captain who is guarding her son. Fuck.

And then there was the actual mess with Mirrah to sort out. The girl had lied at least once, but the idea that the trap the king laid wasn't in the Underworld also resonated. Quietly.

The goddess let herself fall back on the bed, and she stroked her own hair as it lay across the lush tapestries and closed her eyes to focus.

How was it that I came to believe the trap was in the Underworld?

The question resounded in her mind, and soon it was very much like she was somewhere else, in-between dreams, perhaps, nearly.

Falling potently into meditation, she sorted through memories, realizing why she hadn't done this yet. They were full of thorns and Rorrim.

And she never could help but remember them vividly, as they were to her when they happened.

Don't make me leave you... the king said as she pressed her forehead gently against his cheek.

"Why are you so afraid of death?" the goddess asked.

"Not death. Omission," the king said. The goddess smiled.

"Pride, then?" she asked, and her smile grew. The king gripped his fingers around behind the goddess' neck and pulled her toward him.

"Fear," he said, blatantly, and the goddess shivered. She was hungry for him again.

"That's where I'd hide it from you, then," the goddess said, craning her neck to nip gently at his lip.

"And what else are you hiding from me?" the king said, gruffly rolling the goddess flat on her back and leaning over top of her, a playful grin alighting his features. The goddess smiled, and ridiculously, blushed.



Gods damn it, the goddess thought as she snapped herself back to the present. There was nothing useful there, only, maybe, an insinuation on her own part. But there must be more to it than that, and Dehaljadrun was eager to forget about how much she disliked looking at how happy she was in that memory. The happiest ones were always the most painful, landmines any time she wanted to sort through her memories.

This was going to be agony. If she was going to do this, at least she could be warm, settled. The chill of the room urged her toward the hot pools, and Dehaljadrun's skin tingled at the thought. Yes, that would make this more bearable, and then she could sit and think for a moment on what to do next.

But as she walked through the large receiving room of the palace, she caught sight of the scale Evan had given back to her lying on a cushion, and she sighed. She paused and stared down at it, unsure of whether now was the right time to use it. Without much thought, she decided to pick it up and held it close to her chest. Vaguely, ever so vaguely, she could feel the outlines of Evan, and she held the scale tighter, unsure of where he was or what he was doing, but hopeful that he might feel something of her.

If she was going to keep digging through her memories, though, the scale was going to be more a distraction than a comfort. With a sigh, she set it down on a shelf to the left of her throne and appreciated it for a moment before she left.

As she walked there, she idly picked up one thought on the matter and then another.

What if she told Evan she wasn't sure? What if she allowed him to help her through the decision? But, no, and besides, there was some reason Evan needed to go to the Underworld, she just wasn't certain exactly why. And how much of what Mirrah said played into it.

Was Mirrah sent by Rorrim to confuse me? Or are the upper gods genuinely sending a neutral party to help? Why not just speak with me directly if that were the case?

Her head ached, and her body writhed at how long the day would feel without company here.

And then she noticed the air wasn't quite right as she approached the hot pools. The mist was bluing in places and growing thick with something that brought pins and needles to the goddess' skin. As she got closer, the pain increased such that she felt something between an itch and tiny stab everywhere in contact with the air. Her lungs ached. Something was definitely wrong.

Pausing, the goddess braced herself, closed her eyes, sent her awareness ahead of her, and checked immediately for other presences. There was nothing for a long way off. The demons had been avoiding the place for some time now, and there was little wildlife about. Reaching her awareness further toward the hot pools, sensitivity to the air around her finally made the goddess realize what must have happened.

The area was poisoned. Samael.

Gods, he should know better than to mess with her. She already agreed to make the fucking cloak. But she could already hearing him tell her, it's to remind you who you're playing with, sister. This was going to take her forever to clean up.

There was a massive chunk of selenite in the center of one of the hot pools, quickly dissolving in the hot temperature such that the water carried molecules of pain to the goddess in every drop. The stinging back in her body increased.

She wanted to cry. This was an unreasonably bad day, and things were happened faster than she knew how to deal with. Somehow, if Evan were there, she felt certain she would know how to keep up with all this, but her confidence was flagging. She sank to her knees, knowing exactly how much this was going to make her reliant on him this evening. She would desperately need him to recharge her after this, especially without any thralls here. Dehaljadrun was hungry, and loneliness was creeping up over her. Fuck.

Closing her eyes again, the goddess took several deep breaths to settle herself. Slowly, the fear faded away, and peace settled over her features. Her spine straightened, and she pressed her palms together in front of her before opening them slowly and expanding her arms outward. Then upward. The goddess stood, though she kept her eyes closed, and focused on each individual molecule of selenite where it appeared. She located each one in her mind--her awareness in an infinite number of places at once--and encircled each particle with a tiny shield of electricity to move it up and out of the water collecting in a fine, swirling dust across the other side of the hot pools where the ground was soft but dry.

This process took an immense amount of time and effort as the goddess borrowed time as energy and continued wrapping herself around and carrying each particle with her awareness. Idly, she smiled as she thought about how much Ramanujan would have enjoying seeing this. This was certainly a time when a soft chorus of thralls gently chanting her name would have gone a long way, but she settled for naming each of the Shel'ti she had let go, remembering exactly the way they had each succumbed to her, and sensation built in the goddess' chest.

By the time she was finished, the goddess was so thoroughly exhausted that she could no longer keep her human-like form intact. Instead, she stretched out across the pools as an opalescent ooze, shapeless but connected in a long line to itself. The ooze lifted slightly and stretched as the goddess breathed and pressed the selenite tightly into a dense block, solid and ten feet tall, that sharpened at the bottom to a point. Checking again that no one was anywhere in the area, the goddess used her awareness to throw the giant crystal miles away toward the gates to the kingdom of the dark fae and lodge it deeply into the ground, wincing as it punctured through.

Taking another deep breath, the goddess' essence settled into the hot pools, knowing with a great satisfaction that she truly had collected all of them.

With her awareness, the goddess established a sense of the time and realized it was already darkening toward sunset in the human realm. With a sigh, the goddess sent her awareness back toward her palace to collect one of the portal spheres, and brought it to where the ooze that was the goddess continued to darken. Her awareness pushed the portal up into the air such that it would move down to touch the edge of one of the hot pools and connect to the human realm inside Evan's tent.

And that was all. She needed to save every ounce of energy she had left.

It would be days before she could fully recover herself if Evan didn't come through tonight, she shuddered at the thought.

In the meantime, she went into a stasis, her consciousness slowly coalescing into a more coherent shape as she condensed back into form. Before long, one could make out the wide lines of her hips and the thin lines of her hair in an opalescent purple shimmer that was thicker and more substantial than fog. But her eyes were closed, and her hair floated behind her in the water as she lay curled against the side of one pool wall.

In her stasis--the not-quite-sleep state the goddess used to conserve her strength, power, magic--she dreamed. Or, rather, she remembered.

Dehaljadrun stroked a line down the chest of a man who had only recently been sent to her, the two of them thoroughly naked and satiated with each other's presence. The goddess closed her eyes, a somewhat less hollow happiness settling over her for a short time. But then she raised her head suddenly as a new presence approached. The dark fae? The djinn? No, it was a human presence. What was a human she didn't know about doing here? A fae trick?

Standing long before man entered, the goddess dressed herself in a jeweled gown littered with black diamonds. As the man came closer, she knew for certain that had been the right choice. The king of Asphodel approached. He had been one of the few kings she hadn't yet sought out. She had something of a habit of meeting with royalty. Perhaps it had something to do with intervening in the human realm, but perhaps not. She had left the king of Asphodel alone, though, since so many of her temples were in his lands. Better to work magic on the kings of the world who knew nothing of her, she had determined.

But now, he was here, in her realm, uninvited. What magic was this? When he did finally enter the goddess' open air palace, his stature would have given his royalty away, even if his mind had not, and Dehaljadrun watched as he made his way toward the throne, grateful she had already sent off the men she had been keeping around.

"Didn't your mother tell you it's rude to show up uninvited?" the goddess asked. The king smirked.

"My mother was a mute," the king said, and immediately the goddess knew it for a lie. Why lie about something like that? Still, she nodded, though she could not help but narrow her eyes. What was this human man playing at? "My father, though, he told me you would visit once I became king. You missed the coronation." He smiled as he said this, an almost predatory smile. The goddess lifted an eyebrow.

"It's not my fault humans perish so quickly. My condolences for your father," the goddess said dismissively.

The king shook his head. "I'm perhaps the only person who won't miss him." Truth. What a strange thing to say, the goddess thought.

"How did you get here?"

"We all have secrets," the king said, stepping forward with a measured grace, and the goddess was furious that she could not find the answer in the sudden haze of the king's mind. It had suddenly clouded over completely, offering her no more indications of the realities brewing in his mind. What magic was this? "You most of all."

The goddess stood and slowly walked down the stairs in front of her throne, the curves of her breasts nearly baring themselves from the deeply plunging neckline of her dress as it trailed long up the stairs behind her.

"And why shouldn't I strike you down with lightning where you stand?"

"Because you would do anything to know the answers," the king said with an infuriating amount of confidence. Without hesitation, the goddess closed her eyes and launched her consciousness toward the king's mind, fighting and thrashing against that haze for any kind of clarity. Outwardly, she winced and pulled her eyebrows together before she opened her eyes again, purple fire flashing angrily behind them. Before the goddess said anything, the king said, "you didn't think I would come to a goddess such as yourself unprepared, did you?" And he flashed his predatory smile once again, taking several more steps forward.

Seeing him again, seeing the moment that they met, hurt painfully, but the goddess in her stasis was in no place to redirect what was coming to mind, and she had been shoving these memories into the back of her mind for some time now; of course they would show up while she was vulnerable.

The goddess lay on the chest of the king, her fingers trailing circles over the smooth skin between his ribs. She was pleased, blissful, happy even, and she had little intention of breaking the silence. If she could only have access to the sensations in Rorrim's mind... they wouldn't need words. She thought about asking for it again, but she knew he would likely pull away and leave like he had previous times she had requested it. So, she simply continued playing with the skin she knew would soon been oversensitive, a burning curiosity for what lay beyond Rorrim's mental shields within her.

"Dehaljadrun," Rorrim said, using her name casually in a way that still gave her chills. He smiled as he watched them move subtly through her body. "I'd like to ask for something." The king adjusted such that the goddess rolled gently off him, and he propped himself up on one elbow, looking, by all accounts, delicious with his unlined features and ethereal grace. Gods, it was so difficult to deny him when he was like this. What would it be this time?

"Am I correct in believing that you could take any form?" the king asked, and the goddess could not help the look of confusion that passed over her face.

Tentatively, she said, "yes, to an extent," mostly just to hedge against whatever the king might say next.

"I want you to take on my form."

--

"I can't show you what I can do, I can't even fully be with you without seeing and feeling what's in your mind," the goddess said.

"Dehaljadrun, we've talked about this. I have nothing else to give you once you cross that threshold," the king answered.

"It's been an entire year since you came. You have to give me something."

"Get on your knees, then," the king said. The goddess glared at him angrily. He repeated himself, "Get on your knees, and I'll show you a portion of my mind."

--

Thank you, my goddess. I love you. The goddess heard Evan’s voice resounding around her. She turned from him, at first not wanting to watch the moment that his feet crossed the threshold, but she turned around just in time, her arms folded again around her breasts, almost as if comforting them.

There was the red of the portal, the swirling light, and then… he was gone.

And her palace was empty, silent again.

The goddess pulled at her hair and sat down on the bed Evan and she had cavorted on earlier. Gods, each night with Evan had felt like a century. Even just the past few hours.

Pulling Evan’s bandage off. Tearing those disgusting stitches out with my teeth. Threatening his life in the pools. Raccoon. What lay under the waterfall. The hunt for the demon. Her lightning storm and Evan’s dragon. The tree’s acceptance. Her panther. The hole in the wall. Ponderance.

Ponderance.

She had tried so hard to put her son out of her mind. She had resigned herself that there was nothing she could do for the boy from here. Was it not better for her to consolidate her strength?

Standing, the goddess picked up the carved wooden falcon and pet the thing once, gently. It might expose Ponderance if she were careless with it. She did not need to speak with him—his predicament was clear.

And yet… if there were any small comfort she could provide…

Moving her fingers over the communication rune, the goddess whispered the boy’s name.

After a long silence, the boy answered. “Mother.”

The goddess winced slightly. The title never quite felt like it suited her, and somehow, from Ponderance, it felt like a slap in the face. A step down from “goddess,” perhaps.

She wanted to ask again if he was all right, but they both knew the answer to that. She wanted to ask if he resented her, if she had harmed him in her forced absence, but she suspected she knew the answer to that, too.

“I’m here with you again,” she said quietly to the falcon.

“You left.” Dehaljadrun could not deny that. She had purposefully left the falcon behind.

“Weren’t you asleep?” the goddess asked, trying to change the subject. Ponderance did not answer. She decided to try something different. “You knew to reach me. You wanted to reach me. After everything your father has likely told you about me, why?”

The goddess thought she heard a softening on the other side of the wooden falcon, and a small amount of tension relaxed from her body. Changing tactics had been a good call.

“I’ve read the histories. The legends. The stories of the gods. Father has collected many books, many of which only I read.”

“Did Rorrim tell you of your history? How did you know?” the goddess asked.

Ponderance was silent for a moment.

“I am not aware of any other demigods, but I suspect, if they exist, they know as I know. Or learned. Father is not good at secrets.”

Dehaljadrun nodded. Just as she imagined, the child was far beyond his human years. She wondered what affinities he had gained, how different he would have been if he
had grown up in her realm.

“Father did you a favor in a way,” Ponderance said after a while. She knew what he meant. She would have found Ponderance strange, perhaps even a burden, growing up in her realm. Or rather, that was the fear that sent shivers through her heart every time she thought of the boy. Ponderance—the very abstract possibility of him—had been a gift, a request from Rorrim. She had not fully expected… She did not know how she would… raise such a creature. But she had never been given the chance to try.

“I don’t…” the goddess began, “I don’t want to believe that.” It was neither confirmation nor denial. Ponderance said nothing.

“Stay close,” Ponderance said abruptly. “Please,” and the goddess heard the sound of metal scraping from over the magical transmission.

“I will,” the goddess promised quietly, waving the communication runes silent. “I will.”