Written Wonderland

Joseph watched his soldiers in their perfect unison as they finished their remaining drills. As he watched their calm and monotonous movements, Joesph rolled what Mizu had said around in his mind. Trading our troops, the man thought. This is no goddess.

He couldn't believe that it had come to this. Perhaps both Mizu and the king were corrupt. That was a thought he had not considered before. But if not either of them... who would lead? He didn't like the idea of a country without a king or at least a council.

There was still the opportunity to go to the Shel'ti as he had threatened, but Joseph didn't like that idea either. His family had lived in Asphodel for as long as they could trace back, and he had his own small family back home... if he returned. But he would return; the gods would keep him safe as they always had.

Could he tolerate this trade with the goddess? Could he stand by and watch his commander condemn other captains' soldiers? But, then again, if they really were volunteers... would the army be better without them? What kind of people would volunteer for such a thing?

Evan, clearly, Joseph thought, cringing. He went looking for the goddess. Joseph wondered what it would be like to not care about his soul that way.

The soldiers came to the end of the sequence they used to stay in shape, and Joseph nodded at each of them as they dispersed in an orderly fashion.

Once they were gone--to eat or to take a nap or to take a shower--Joseph wondered what he wanted to do with his time. He supposed he could take another shift on watch. He had a shift coming up later tonight, but...

Actually, maybe he would go seek Ari out. She would certainly be interested to hear about the development, and Joseph doubted Mizu had gotten around to telling the other captains yet. Surely Mizu would have said something if she didn't want him telling people. She had told him after all, and he couldn't imagining another captain having a bigger problem with it than he had had.

He found her outside her tent stoking the fire with a bemused look on her face. She looked up at Joseph and smiled happily as he approached.

"Take a seat," Ari said, "It's good to see you. How are you doing with everything?"

Joseph shook his head. "Everyone is losing their minds." Ari smiled a little wider but also nodded in a way that she hoped was solemn enough. She didn't necessarily agree with him, but she also didn't want to seem like she was poking fun. Far be it from her to question his beliefs.

"You have to understand the curiosity, though," Ari said. "I mean, we have been sitting here for some time now."

Joseph looked over at Ari and squinted. He had grown to appreciated her levelheadedness, but he didn't always agree with her.

"Boredom is no reason to mess with forces we can't control."

"What's the alternative?" Ari asked genuinely. Joseph just shook his head again.

"Apparently the goddess wants more people than she's already taken," Joseph said, leading into the real reason he was here. "So we can secure the alliance with the Shel'ti."

Ari's smile dropped somewhat, and she looked down at her hands, throwing the stick she was using to tend the fire into it.

"Did she say how many?" Ari said after a moment.

"Ten," Joseph answered without missing a beat. Ari exhaled. That wasn't as bad as she had imagined it would be.

"Did Mizu tell you?" Ari asked, wondering why Joseph knew before she did. She was far more used to it happening the other way around.

"Yes," Joseph said. After a moment, he added, "I had told her earlier that my faction would leave the army if the goddess demanded more. I think she wanted me to hear it from her."

Ari blinked. She was surprised that Joseph had been so bold. In a strange way, she was impressed and proud of his resolve.

"And will you? Leave?" Joseph thought about it for a moment, staring past Ari's eyes. Ultimately, he shook his head.

"Not yet. But I did tell her she can't have any of my men."

"Fair enough," Ari said, wondering if she would be comfortable giving up some of her soldiers for that reason.

"Mizu thinks people will volunteer." Ari exhaled heavily again and then chuckled a little.

"That shouldn't surprise me. She's probably right." Ari laughed again, and Joseph even cracked a smile, though he quickly shook his head again soon after that.

"Well, anyway, I thought you should know. Mizu will probably tell everyone else tomorrow."

"I appreciate the update, Joseph. I really do."

"I know you have done the same for me," Joseph said, standing. Ari was grateful that putting the effort in to befriend Joseph was paying off. It usually did. Ari nodded and found another log to throw on the fire as Joseph walked away.

--

Ten volunteers, Ari thought as she stared at the flames. Some part of her wished she had asked Joseph more questions, but she hadn't wanted to press him. Would it be worth it to start recruiting now? Was Evan and/or Mizu working on that already? Did she even know of anyone who might be interested? She thought fondly back the previous night when some of her soldiers had gotten together to tell drunken stories about the goddess, some of them making wild boasts about what they thought she looked like. It seemed relatively harmless; she was certain that the goddess had certainly gotten worse, and even Ari herself might have thought some of the things they said to be compliments.

She wondered if it would be plausible to come up with some kind of contest for her soldiers. And the winner gets, what? Sacrificed to the goddess? What does being her captive really entail?

Gods, she was curious, especially after that delicious purple mist fell from the sky earlier that morning. But volunteering herself was out of the question. She cared too much about this cause. She was too invested. Another version of her would be tempted. Journey to another realm? Meet a goddess? Yes.

But, no. Not this time. Maybe there would be a way to bridge the realms after they released the goddess. Maybe the magic would come back to Asphodel. She had heard so many stories about magic and the fae as a child and lamented that magic seemed to be more rare now that she had grown up. She smiled to herself again. Perhaps that was a childish notion.

She supposed she could go throttle some answers out of Evan, but he was probably still asleep by now, right? Or... hadn't some of the other thralls woken up? She couldn't talk to Philip. He was just about as unapproachable as Blake. But maybe Philip's soldier? She wondered how he was doing. He had, after all, been with the goddess the longest.

Standing up from the fire and tasking one of her soldiers with taking her place, Ari left to seek out Nathan, first venturing to the infirmary tent, and if she didn't find him there, she would wander the camp around where Philip and Blake's soldiers resided.

After having no luck at the infirmary and asking a few random soldiers where Nathan might be, one of them suggested checking along the line of the forest. Ari didn't mind the walk herself and so crossed the field, checking the treeline for a small soldier. The captain might have noticed him except that he started to lose his balance and nearly fell off a branch of a tree a dozen yards ahead of her. Stifling almost all of her laughter, she waited for him to collect himself and come out of the tree before she approached him. She didn't mean to startle him, but she was aware that he likely wasn't expecting anyone to be around.

"Writing anything worth reading?" Ari asked with a subtle smile, hoping that a bit of small talk might help the boy open up a little.

Nathan couldn't stop the soft yelp that erupted from his body when he caught sight of someone approaching. He covered his mouth, as though that could stifle the sound after the fact. On second glance he realized the person approaching was one of the other captains, which was in some ways relieving and in other ways more terrifying. Then she went and asked about his writing, which lit up his cheeks with blush and honestly took a moment to process, during which he still had his hands up over his mouth.

"Uh," he finally stammered, dropping one hand to his side and bringing the other up to rub nervously at his hair, his shoulders thoroughly scrunched and his gaze averting to the side and towards the ground as he did so. "I-I mean, n-no, not really..." he honestly considered leaving it there, but it made him terribly anxious to still have conversation hanging on his writing. The boy swallowed and dropped his other hand to his side as he forced his gaze back up to the captain's.

"Um, d-did you need something, captain?"

Ari couldn't stop herself from a little giggle when Nathan startled, but she suppressed most of it. Wow, he was really shy. It was adorable. And, if Ari was being honest with herself, completely understandable given the circumstances.

She didn't press him on his writing. It was clearly a tender topic, and she had only started there so as to not get straight to the point.

"Yes," she said, pausing just a moment to collect herself and decide on an approach and placing one hand gently on her hip. "Will you sit with me?" She gestured toward the tree nearest to them, thinking they could sit together against its wide trunk.

Ari sat down and tucked her legs under her in such a way that she was leaning a little toward Nathan in a way she hoped felt motherly. Once they were settled, Ari said, "I can only imagine what you've been through, and I know that you've only just woken up..." Ari paused there, looking at the boy and wishing it felt appropriate to give him physical comfort of some kind. "...but it's very important that I know what sorts of things we are dealing with here." Ari left it there for a moment, watching Nathan's expression closely but delicately, all her sympathy present in her eyes.

"I certainly don't want to force you to talk about it--you can tell me no--but I would like to ask you some questions. Do you think you'd be up for that?" Ari wondered how much she should tell Nathan about why she was asking. Surely no one had gotten around to explaining what and who Mizu was planning to hand over to the goddess as tribute. Would this boy want to go back to her? He looked scared as hell. She found that a little difficult to believe that he would.

Nathan hesitated when the captain asked him to sit with her, but only for a brief moment before he nodded and shuffled over to the tree. He leaned his back against it and brought his knees up in front of him, his arms loosely draped over them. Luckily, this was a very comfortable place and posture for him; he might have relaxed a bit, but then the captain started talking about what Nathan had just been through, and his stomach started to tumble. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised, though; why else would one of the other captains want to talk to him?

Nathan scrunched his shoulders and brought his knees a little closer in as he contemplated whether he wanted to try to get out of talking about it. The captain was being about as low-pressure as she could be about it, which he appreciated, but a truth resonated in his chest that the rebellion leadership did probably need to know some things about his experience. And, to be honest, it was probably going to be much more pleasant to talk with this captain than his own. His cheeks burned red at the thought of Captain Bronwen's subtle but undeniable disapproval. At least Captain Nicolaides didn't seem like she'd be too judgmental. He hoped. Surely less than Captain Bronwen, anyway.

Nathan finally nodded, though he still didn't bring his gaze up to look at the captain, instead opting to let his eyes stay unfocused in the direction of a bush over by another tree in front of them.

"I-I can do that. What do you need to know?"

Ari smiled softly and warmly at the boy. She was immensely grateful that he was cooperating.

She wanted to give him something truthful but also didn't necessarily want to give him the whole story about what was going on. That felt risky given that Ari wasn't even positive Joseph should have told her yet.

"There's a possibility that we would need to send soldiers to the goddess' realm," Ari said, pausing briefly to gauge Nathan's reaction. "I need to know what they're in for before I decide what kind of person I would recommend to the commander."

There, that sounded... innocent enough.

But, she did want to ask an actual question, she supposed. It was somewhat unfair to leave it all open ended like that.

"What do you wish you knew before it all happened?" Surely that was a neutral question and one that would be fruitful for the captain.

Nathan did finally turn his gaze to the captain when she said they might send soldiers to the goddess' realm. His eyes were wide with surprise and interest, though there was certainly also a sheen of fear. They weren't--attacking her, were they? No, Chloe had said they were allying with her. So, did that mean... they were sending soldiers to be with the goddess? A warm bloom of excitement swelled from Nathan's gut and up into his chest (and, uh, downwards, as well) at the thought that he might get to go back to her, then. He tried to contain it, though--surely, that was too much to hope for?

Then, the captain asked Nathan what he wished he had known, and he shifted his gaze down to the ground in thought, his brow furrowing as he did so. What did he wish he had known? He thought for a long time before speaking.

"I'm not sure I still don't know what I wish I knew," the boy finally mumbled, and let another long beat of silence stand after that while he continued thinking.

"I guess," he finally continued, "I wish I'd known I'd make it back in one piece. And that the goddess wasn't just some terrifying demon I ought to struggle against." The boy scrunched his shoulders even further, and brought his knees close enough to rest his chin on them, his face now partially obscured by his arms.

"Feeling like I'd betrayed the cause and fearing she meant to kill me were the worst parts of it, I-I think." The boy sniffed softly at that, and tried to swallow down the knot that was building in his throat.

"I... suppose anyone we send now will have those assurances, though." Oh, he wanted to go. Was that ridiculous? Was he even understanding the situation correctly? He supposed he might've jumped to some conclusions... the boy shyly raised his gaze to the captain again, though he did so by resting his cheek on his knees rather than his chin, so he was very much looking up towards the captain a bit crookedly from the partial cover of his arm and his hair.

"This is... because we're allying with her, right?" His tone was nervous, and pretty clearly seeking reassurance. He had no idea what he'd do if he learned they were approaching the goddess with hostility instead.

Ari began to get nervous as Nathan took time to think. Had she been too aggressive? Was he closing down already? But then he spoke and sounded genuinely honest about not knowing what he would have liked to have known. Ari supposed that was reasonable given how recently he had come back. She couldn't exactly expect him to be composed.

She was trying to think of another plan of engagement when Nathan spoke again, this time offering something that was very interesting to her. The goddess wasn't just some terrifying demon I ought to struggle against. Ari's curiosity burned to know what had given Nathan that impression. She didn't interrupt him, though, especially because the way he pulled in his legs made him look especially vulnerable.

Ari heard him sniffle and had a strong urge to wrap her arms around him in comfort, but she wasn't sure that contact was appropriate or even desired, so she refrained. Nathan certainly made that more difficult when he looked at her through his arms and hair, though, and she giggled very quietly and warmly toward him.

He did have a point, though. The soldiers would know that they were with the goddess for the sake of the cause, so there would be no fear about confused loyalty. That was a good point Ari hadn't yet had the chance to think of. And Nathan thought the goddess might kill him, so it seemed like the terrifying demon part of the goddess was real, even if it wasn't the whole story. Nathan wondered why he thought he could be certain that the goddess wouldn't put his life at risk. Ari certainly didn't feel positive that the volunteers they sent would be safe in any way, shape, or form.

But her curiosity now demanded to be sated. Best answer the boy's question first, though.

"Yes, we are allying with her. She's going to help us. She wants us to succeed. It sounds like the attacks were... a misunderstanding of sorts." Ari paused, watching Nathan with compassion. "...If she's not just a terrifying demon... what else is she?" Ari hoped this wasn't too personal a question, but she hoped that Nathan had enough wiggle room to give her an obscure answer if he needed to. Besides, she supposed there was an obvious answer--a goddess, duh--but she wanted more than that, and she trusted Nathan to understand what she meant.

A soft smile started to form on Nathan's lips as the captain assured him that the goddess wanted them to succeed. He felt like he knew that already at this point--or, at least, parts of him had felt that, even if he wasn't sure he could trust it. He supposed, coming from a captain's lips, he really could trust it, and that was, honestly, elating.

But then the captain went and echoed Nathan's words back at him--terrifying demon--and a sense of shame burned in Nathan's chest at having said that. But, she was terrifying, and she had seemed demonic, at least at times. Other times... well, Nathan supposed that's exactly what Captain Nicolaides was asking about. Nathan tried to compose himself a bit, and sat up straight again to look at the captain a little more straight-on. His mouth was scrunched a little nervously, but his eyes were wide with earnestness.

"You... saw the shimmer earlier, right? Felt it?" Oh gods he hoped he wasn't about to sound like a crazy person, but if the captain had felt it, that was going to be the best reference point Nathan could possibly think of to elaborate from.

Ari was grateful that Nathan was trying to pull up a concrete memory that she had. Of course she had felt that mist. Gods, remembering it again made her swell with hope and pride and wonder. There was not a single moment, even when she briefly worried that they might be closed into the shimmering dome, that she wasn't in absolute awe of what was happening. And then when it broke and fell down upon them, she witnessed the glory of them all winning this. It was everything Ari could have wished for and more, and she had never felt so assured that they were on the right side of this war.

So, yes, Ari had a sense that she understood what Nathan was getting at and nodded accordingly.

"She feels like that?" Ari couldn't help herself from asking.