Written Wonderland

((OOC: following Chloe's interactions with Nathan and the goddess' gesture))

Chloe gazed around her tent once Nathan left. What now, she wondered? She smiled when her eyes fell on the makeshift altar she had created by her cot, where she'd prayed each night for the attacked soldiers' safe returns. It had grown from that first night where she'd just laid out a few trinkets on the floor; she'd gathered stones from around camp and by the river, even a couple leaves and branches from the woods.

Maybe it was time to return those things? Nathan had confirmed that all of the soldiers who had been in the infirmary were back. If nothing else, perhaps if there was something else of import to do, she'd discover it in the process of returning these borrowed gems.

The soldier emptied out her pack and loaded into it everything she'd borrowed from the area, with the exception of one particularly smooth stone from the river which she genuinely felt wanted to come with her. Maybe that was silly, but it wasn't like anyone would really mind either way, anyway.

Of course, the girl couldn't remember exactly where she'd gotten everything, but she decided that was okay. She recalled roughly what sorts of things she'd gotten from what sorts of places, and that seemed good enough. Around camp, it had been mostly small pebbles, and after walking a bit to get her bearings, she stopped to fish some out and hold in her hand for depositing back onto the ground as she walked.

She'd only just gotten her pack back on her shoulders and straightened back up when she caught sight of one of the other soldiers who had been attacked. She blinked at him curiously, watching as he met eyes with one or two other soldiers in the area--and then her. The purple of the soldier's eyes spurred an excited twirling inside of Chloe's chest, and she watched in quiet awe as he raised his arms up towards the sky. Chloe's gaze travelled upwards, seemingly letting itself get swept along by a current, which splashed into the sky with a beautiful purple shimmer.

"Oh!" the girl gasped in soft astonishment as she watched the shimmer grow and spread. She returned her gaze curiously to the soldier, just in time to see him finish lowering his arms. A divine stillness settled over camp--Chloe had no problem calling it that. Everything was quiet, in a way the world had never once been, not in her perception. She heard fear rising in some soldiers nearby, but it hardly registered; the girl was so confident that their fear was unfounded, and would be fleeting, it didn't bother her experience in the slightest.

She turned her gaze back up towards the sky, and when the shimmer burst into a rain of dust, Chloe's the twirling excitement in Chloe's chest burst happily along with it. She watched the dust with open eyes and an open heart, and was pleasantly surprised--or, maybe not all that surprised, actually--when a fresh warmth and assurance and connection settled into her body as the dust rained down. The girl closed her eyes to bask in the sensation, her serene smile bright and glowing as she gently brought her handful of pebbles up to her heart. Oh, what blessed pebbles these would be!

Once the sensation felt properly appreciated, the girl returned her attention once more to the purple-eyed soldier, but by the time she did, he was already crumpled on the ground. Her eyes widened in concern, and she dropped all the pebbles at once, sure that they would find their proper places in the world in their own time. Right now, she felt deeply called to rush to the soldier's side, and help another soldier who had also felt called to do so carry the fallen soldier back to the infirmary tent.

Ramanujan stirred at the sensation of his feet dragging against the ground. For a moment, he thought the vibrations he felt up from the motions were the goddess humming pleasantly against his feet, and he wanted to lean into it, but there was also a tugging sensation at his shoulders and arms... he was not with the goddess. When he opened his eyes, the bitter light of the sun rained down on him, and he winced as one of the soldiers helping to carry him accidentally pinched skin. Ramanujan was being taken, assumedly, back to the infirmary.

"Soldiers, I'm awake," Ramanujan said, but when that did not seem to change his positioning, Ramanujan said with more urgency, "Soldiers, put me down. Put me down now. I'm well." And then, quieter, to himself, "I'm well."

He recognized that his statement was a questionable. He knew that the full extent of his memories had yet to return... the moment the goddess captured him, the flood of her being and memories, the chill of the mist surrounding her realm, and--gods--the sensation of the goddess employing his body one final time. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to meditate and pray and collect the shreds of the pieces he was still clinging to before they disappeared like some... dream.

Had it been a dream? But, no, surely they had not. Ramanujan was, after all, never one to sleepwalk at high noon.

Chloe hesitated when she sensed the soldier stirring, but her companion still seemed quite worried and intent on their course. Then the soldier in their arms spoke, and Chloe tried to get her companion's attention to stop, but shock and confusion still propelling his motions. The girl finally reached out to put her free hand on his shoulder and squeeze gently, and finally she got his attention. Realizing he'd missed the soldier waking up, he hastily relinquished his hold on the other man's arm and flushed a bit and as he shuffled back a pace.

"W-what was that, back there?" he stammered with some exasperation.

Chloe had already stepped back, eager to give the newly awakened soldier his space. Honestly, she might have simply departed, perhaps after a nod or a bow, if not for the state of her companion. She felt embarrassed at his question, and strongly called to step in.

"Is there anything you need?" she forward again as she addressed the newly awakened soldier calmly, hoping that he would feel ample permission to only answer her question, if he so chose. The other soldier looked a bit irritated at first, but softened in the next moment as he reflected on the situation. He nodded as he returned his gaze back to the newly awakened soldier, looking a bit calmer now that he was re-gathering his own wits about him.

Ramanujan was grateful that the female soldier, at least, was attentive to his predicament, though the other soldier's question deeply unnerved Ramanujan. What had happened?

All at once, the sensation of the goddess using his arms to send the purple glimmer into the sky rolled back through him again--all the images flooding his mind of the past and the future--and Ramanujan staggered, having to catch his breath as he put his hands on his knees. Had Ramanujan really done that? No, the goddess had done it. He had simply been her vessel. This calmed him somehow, and he stood up straight again, looking rather apologetically at the two soldiers who had clearly only been trying to help.

"No," Ramanujan said, unable to help himself from looking up toward the sky. "No, I don't think so." Looking back toward the soldier who appeared to have more of her wits about her, he added, "I'll just need some time to myself." He paused, though, wondering if that was really fair. After all, for all these soldiers--and anyone else--knew Ramanujan had done it, and he would have something to answer for. "But, if the commander or one of the captains need me..." Ramanujan hoped he wouldn't regret the potential interruptions, but it couldn't matter now. This was necessary. "...I'll be near the burned building." When the confused and concerned soldier grew yet more confused and concerned, Ramanujan said, "It's a ten-minute walk in that direction," and pointed toward a path that wound down along the river before turning abruptly into the forest. "On the right. You can't miss it."

With that, the soldier half-turned away, saying one last time, "And thank you, but I really will be all right." And suddenly, he believed it. There was so much to sort through in his mind, but... it was a wealth of information. He contained within him a goddess' memories.

On the walk toward the burned building--a temple, really, but he hadn't wanted to give the soldiers more information than was strictly necessary--Ramanujan began sorting through what he could remember.

Start chronology. First the dream, lucid, red room, the goddess' black ponytail, stay on the path, asking questions--yes, trapped--by whom? Needed help. Couldn't answer her questions. Mind hunger. Condensed memories. Come back to that. Establish timeline.

Ramanujan continued, some of the memories of the goddess' realm hazy, though he remembered seeing other enthralled men, some of them their soldiers and some of them not, and then there was a black stone table...

Ramanujan holding a man down. Not a thrall. Familiar face. What was he doing here? Stick to the chronology. Holding him down. Goddess' lightning. A thrall running after the man in the woods and...

Ramanujan grimaced. Yes, that had happened, and he was not fond of remembering it, though he had done his best to turn away despite the potency of the goddess' commands. He would have to come back to that as well, he supposed. Had all the other thralls been released? Yes, Ramanujan remembered being in a line of them, being the last the goddess let go. The way she merged with his body. He carried her through to their world. To their commander. To her child...

The king's son is the goddess' child. He was certain of that. Certain and pleased that he had collected some valuable information from his... experience, Ramanujan smiled.

Having arrived at the burned temple--its impressive charred wood structures crumbled and blackened--Ramanujan sought out the remains of a stone circle and sat at one edge of it, settling into a crossed-legged position and offering his mind toward the sky.

Chloe and the other soldier both nodded to the darker-skinned soldier before he turned to leave. Once he was off, Chloe turned to the soldier still with her, and gave him a sympathetic expression. She wanted to offer him comfort, now that the other soldier did not need their help, but she wasn't immediately sure what to say. Strangers were much more difficult to comfort than dear friends, though she did feel a camaraderie with this soldier if only for his eagerness to step into action when someone needed help, even amidst his own distress.

The other soldier finally spoke up first, stumbling over pieces he was fitting together now that he'd had a moment to think. Chloe spent some time with him to help him fit everything together--at least, everything that she knew--and assuring him that there were optimistic paths ahead. She might have spent quite a while with him, if he'd wanted, but she caught sight of one of the captains rushing towards the infirmary tent, and decided that now a new person needed her help. She gave her companion soldier one last encouraging shoulder-squeeze, and then hastened to meet the captain up ahead.

---

Captain Brede had been in quite a rush to get to the infirmary once she heard the news--that her soldier had awoken, produced the phenomenon in the sky, and then fallen unconscious again. She was intercepted though, by a young soldier who had helped him, who indicated he might appreciate some time to collect himself. Ashleigh grinned slightly; that did seem in character for Ramanujan, and in a way it was relieving to think of him returning to his normal self, though she was sure that wasn't the full picture, either.

So, now she took her time meandering towards the river and the building her interceptor had described. She'd spent some time with the soldier first, asking questions about the phenomenon and the other soldier the girl claimed to have spoken with. She hadn't learned much, though; just more impressions and conjecture, really, since her compatriot hadn't had all that much to say yet. Gods, what Ashleigh would give to just have a godsdamned sit-down with Rutliff. If she caught him at the right time, he'd happily shoot some shit with her, but never once during the past few days had it seemed like the right time, and Ashleigh knew better than to approach him outside of that, at least not without better reason than her own curiosity, no matter how burning. She was pretty sure that sort of thing was at least part of what had gotten Fujiwara on Rutliff's shit list, though she would also wager there was more to it than that.

But, now was no time for idle gossip, even just internally indulged.

Ashleigh found Ramanujan where the young soldier had described. He sat cross-legged by a stone circle near a blackened building in the woods by the river. Quite a place; Ashleigh was briefly grateful she'd had cause to come here at least once before they packed up camp, but moved on from that sentiment quickly, seeing as there was business to attend to. She walked up to be near the circle, finding a place to stand either across from Ramanujan or a cardinal direction away, whichever she could walk to sooner. Her steps were light and casual, but not concerned about being heard.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, soldier." she said with a nod, though she wouldn't have minded if Ramanujan's attention wasn't on her just yet. "I'll leave you to it when I can, but I'd like a debrief."

There she did pause and wait for her soldier to look more attentive. Her tone had been calm and serious and not the least bit rushed; it was rather obvious when Captain Brede was demanding haste, so the soldier likely gathered he could take another moment if he needed.

Once the captain felt his presence and attention, she started in on her top priority.

"I heard you produced the phenomenon in the sky. I take it that was some sort of message from the goddess? Do you know what she meant to say by it?"

Oh, Ashleigh could venture some guesses--whatever had rained down from the sky had been potent, for true--but she wasn't about to trust emotions where this goddess was concerned. For that matter, she wasn't entirely sure how well she could trust her soldier, but she'd hold off that sort of skepticism for the moment, at least, since it wouldn't serve in this context. Her manner was calm and business-like, which meant Ramanujan could probably expect a patient but to-the-point exchange.

((OOC: lmk if Ramanujan would have spoken up in there... Ashleigh wouldn't have spoken over him if he'd seemed about to start speaking, but she didn't want to leave off at a moment when he might've just, like... turned his attention to her and waited for her to speak, potentially lol, we weren't sure.))

Finally having a moment to sit with his thoughts, he gathered his knees and closed his eyes, stilling his breathing and submitting to the blankness just behind his eyes. He imagined laying out the timeline he had begun creating on the walk here and added pieces he now realized he missed, remembering, for instance, that Yukiko likely also had enough reason to suspect the goddess' interest in Ponderance. Perhaps that wasn't so urgent of news as Ramanujan had first thought.

But then there was the time with the goddess to think about. Specifically that moment. The moment she had given him all her knowing. All her memories. He contained within himself a perfect copy... if only he could see it clearly for a moment.

It was frustratingly blurred; he imagined that was because of how much it really was. Primarily, he experienced it more as sensations in his body and as textures in his nervous system than as anything he could put into words. How irritating that was.

He heard the voices he had heard then, there in that moment with the goddess, voices of other gods, but he couldn't make out the words, or perhaps it was not even in a language he understood. Could he possibly translate it? Crack the trick of it? He picked up the sounds and started committing them to memory, matching them with inflection, attempting to determine the pattern...

Footsteps. His captain? The commander? Captain Rutliff? Ramanujan experienced a brief shiver as he thought about the last name for reasons he could not immediately explain to himself. He began to prepare to emerge from his meditative state.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, soldier," his captain said, and Ramanujan was comforted by the fact that it was her. However, he did not miss that she was, in fact, interrupting, which betrayed a certain amount of urgency. He decided not to linger more than was necessary to pull all the parts of his mind back to the present coherently. He took some deeper breaths again and opened his eyes, choosing, at least for the moment, to remain seated, though his eyes gently met hers with a calm curiosity.

And as he did, Captain Brede got right to it, mentioning the goddess' message.

"Yes," Ramanujan said wistfully, which was, at the moment, all he could think of before he had quite collected himself on the topic. He closed his eyes again for a moment, more out of habit than anything.

"If I understand what happened correctly," Ramanujan started to say but then steered himself slightly off his original course, realizing he did not want to immediately admit that he had been so willing to serve the goddess. "She can... make use of humans. She did not injure me, but I was not completely in control of myself in camp earlier today." Ramanujan paused, opening his eyes and looking up toward Captain Brede once more. "She..." Ramanujan was surprised at how difficult it was to speak of the goddess just then, but he shifted his head slightly to the side and pushed abruptly through his discomfort. "She wants us to succeed. She has personal stake in what we could accomplish." But, suddenly, Ramanujan felt like his captain knew that already. Surely, she had also felt what it was? Although, Ramanujan imagined that whatever had happened to him had been far more potent.

Regardless, he added, "and she wants everyone to know it." There was a thinly veiled implication there, but Ramanujan wasn't going to offer it up just yet. He was, indeed, curious about the sorts of questions Captain Brede may have for him.

At first Ashleigh kept a fairly neutral expression, business-like and attentive. A faint smile bloomed when Ramanujan stated that the goddess wanted them to succeed; it did feel good to hear it directly from the soldier's mouth. Still, it felt a bit premature to celebrate. She let the faint smile stay, but kept her tone serious.

"And, are you completely in control of yourself now?" Honestly, considering the accusation such words could contain, the captain's demeanor was friendly enough. She was genuinely just looking for data, and she hoped that came across. Granted, she still wouldn't be able to completely trust a yes, but it was a place to start, anyhow.

Ramanujan had to admit that he was surprised by Captain Brede's next question, but it was perfectly reasonable. Still, how to answer... What could convince his captain that he was in control of himself? Next to nothing, he imagined.

He stood, then, his stalky form taking up all its space, and said, "I certainly feel the... absence of the goddess, though..." Ramanujan looked down briefly before returning his gaze back to his captain, "I'm not certain I could say I am completely in control. She..." Ramanujan trailed off, looking for some recognition or understanding in his captain's expression, his eyebrows drawing together. He hoped that, at least, his captain would be reassured by the timbre and cadence of his voice. For what had happened in the last few days, it was congruent with his pre-attack behavior.

Ashleigh let her faint smile fade back into neutrality, slowly and organically, as Ramanujan stood and made his reply. Something about him standing made her sad, but she didn't dwell on the emotion. She nodded to her soldier when he looked to her for understanding; she certainly did feel sympathy for him, and gratitude for his transparency.

"I understand." she said gently, "And I appreciate your candor."

The captain paused briefly to allow herself some thought. Arguably this was a good reply; not an ideal situation, but at least one she felt she could trust, for what it was. Which was... that Ramanujan seemed himself at the moment, but couldn't say with certainty that he would remain in control. A subtle thrill cascaded down Ashleigh's torso, but she kept her composure perfectly though the experience.

"Is there anything you need? If you would like to get back to your meditation, I believe I can wait for further debriefing."

Not that she particularly wanted to end the conversation, but it did seem time to acknowledge her soldier's needs and wellbeing, and that might well mean giving him some time. Not necessarily unsupervised time, considering, but that didn't seem worth specifying at this juncture.

Ramanujan had always appreciated the trusting and quick-witted nature of his captain. It was easy to submit to her command when she felt like a competent human being to Ramanujan. When she asked if he needed anything or if he would like to be left to his meditation, he paused for a moment, reflecting. He took the opportunity to gaze around at the burned structure, surely one of the goddess' forbidden temples, and found it soothing somehow that he had come here even before the goddess had... claimed him in his dream. He missed her presence terribly, though the extent to which he had been at her mercy... he could do without.

Finally, Ramanujan looked toward his captain again and said, "I am appreciating the conversation but would return to meditation if there was nothing further you wanted to converse about."