Written Wonderland

Carefully holding her plate, Sage climbed the stairs up toward the loft of the temple, which was mercifully empty. Turning back to make sure Jaz had followed, Sage ducked under the large pillars of the structures and seated herself on some pillows. Briefly, she looked out the window down the hill and its rolling, flowering landscape. There was certainly no shortage of beauty here.

When Jaz was seated, Sage began the formal prayer, knowing that she would soon induct Jaz more properly into her relationship with the sky mind.

At the end of her gesticulations, she said, ""We must accept generosity to nourish ourselves. Let this be a reminder that we each depend on our community, each other, and the blessings of all the other forms of life. May the sky mind relish in our acceptance of this gift, and may we be ever more motivated to share our bounty with others."

Finally, she returned her attention to Jaz, who had picked up her bread and was scrutinizing it. Before she even took a bite, Jaz said, "I may never understand your incessant need to pray." Sage pulled a hand over her chest, feeling a phantom stabbing pain through the area. Was Jaz a lost cause after all?

But, once Jaz had taken a bite of food, she also asked, "What's all this about the sky mind anyway? I haven't heard anyone talk about it before." Sage sighed and relaxed to some degree, setting her food to one side for a moment and moving a little closer to Jaz.

"The sky mind is what allowed us to travel today. It is the first of the sacred secrets revealed to the people of the vows. With practice, and with prayer," Sage said pointedly, "it is possible to engage directly with one's sky mind and feel the overlaps with all sky minds. You can think about it like a net of a sort, in and above the clouds. It contains answers and secrets, histories and futures. It is the living, breathing record of all that is, was, and will be and all the life that flows therein."

Jaz chewed slowly, looking at Sage with one eyebrow raised.

"And you expect me to believe all that?" Jaz asked once she had swallowed.

Sage nodded slowly. "I wanted to invite you into the order long before now. I thought you might have an affinity for the relationship." After a moment, Sage added, "When you practice relationship with your sky mind, you will never feel alone." Sage looked at Jaz, wondering how that would land. She knew she was taking a risk.

Jaz leaned away from Sage slightly, narrowing her eyes, but then she looked down and nodded with a light sigh.

"That obvious, huh?" Jaz asked with a slight laugh, taking a bite of fish. Sage didn't think she should respond. Better to let that be rhetorical, she thought.

"So, now that I know about it...?" Jaz asked, looking up at Sage with a frown.

"Normally, you would have taken your vows first. There are few who discover the sky mind by accident. But, there's nothing to stop you from developing your own relationship with it, even if you don't take vows. We won't prevent that, of course. We value your ability to make your own decisions first and foremost."

Jaz's eyes softened, and she even smiled slightly, looking down at her plate. "You're too magnanimous for your own good, you know that?" Jaz said with a smirk. Sage decided to take it as a compliment. Allowing Jaz some time to think, Sage picked up her own bread and contemplated it. She tried to make it seem more appetizing by applying some of the legume spread to it, but it was still difficult to take a bite. Her grief was still heavy on her tongue. She set the bread back down for the moment.

"So, you want to me to take vows?" Jaz asked.

Sage thought for a moment, and then slowly said, "I would be honored and eager to help you curate your relationship to the sky mind, and I would be most comfortable and experienced with doing that inside the frameworks of the vows, yes."

Jaz took another bite of her food, chewing slowly.

"Could I opt out of my vows once I begin?"

"You can not unlearn what you learn once you take your vows. It will stay with you and perhaps even change you. But you need not follow the order's path if you determine another more suitable in the future." Jaz nodded again, and Sage was beginning to feel hope that Jaz would eventually come around.

"Would you still teach me if I didn't take vows?" Jaz asked, and Sage's eyes widened. It wasn't unheard of. There were many stories of people who discovered the sky mind on their own and created their own workings. But the likelihood that that person would then use the sky mind for their own gain did seem to increase whenever that was the case. The point of the vows was to hold the power of the sky mind in community such that it might serve that community rather than one's self.

"What is your hesitation to take vows, out of curiosity?" Sage asked as a means to delay her answer.

Jaz thought about it for a moment. "Tell me more about what I would be agreeing to," Jaz said by way of response.

Sage nodded. This was good. "First, you vow to be in service to others as much as or more than you are in service to yourself. Second, you vow to hold sacred the series of revealed truths, revealing them to others only as intuitively guided. Third, you vow to value and protect life in its myriad forms, taking your place as steward and curator of the land in this life and any others. Fourth, you vow to perform acts of sacred violence only in protection of other forms of life and only in service to the sky mind. Fifth, you vow to learn and listen from each of the others of the vows, regardless of their level of experience." Sage paused, allowing that information to sink in. But then she added, "There are more vows you can take optionally as you move along the path, but those are the initiatory vows."

Jaz was quiet for a long moment, taking time to chew her food. It was making her a little anxious that Sage wasn't eating.

"And you're just... fine with all that? With dedicating multiple lifetimes to this practice?"

That seemed to catch Sage off guard a little, as she leaned back momentarily and pressed her lips together. That, at least, was satisfying.

With care, Sage finally responded. "I don't pretend that I know what other lifetimes will bring, but I can't imagine dedicating my energy to anything other than this sort of service, whatever form it chooses to take."

Jaz took another few moments to contemplate the situation. She wasn't at all convinced on the matter, but she figured it was as good a time as any to get information from Sage. The priestess wasn't always this accessible.

"Would I need to come live here?"

"Not necessarily," Sage said. But then she smiled with one corner of her mouth, making Jaz a little nervous--and also intrigued. "But that would free up a room at Gwen's."

Jaz scoffed. "Gwen needs me. That place wouldn't be the same without me."

Sage shook her head with a small, lingering smile. "No, it would not."

Jaz took another bite of her fish, nervous that she had almost finished her meal before Sage had really begun. She looked up at the priestess with some concern. "I haven't seen you eat all day. Please don't hold back on my account." Sage looked at her food with something of a wince but did eventually pick up her plate again, taking a bite of bread.

After she chewed slowly, she said, "The woman who initiated me into the order and introduced me to my sky mind passed last night. That's who I was holding vigil for." She couldn't seem to meet Jaz's eyes when she said it. Jaz set down her plate for a moment, realizing that Sage's fatigue and agitation was starting to make more sense.

"Would you... accept an embrace?" Jaz asked a little tentatively. Sage looked at Jaz and nodded, setting her plate to the side again. Jaz stood and got behind Sage, sitting down to wrap her arms and legs around the priestess, holding her closely to Jaz's own chest. She stroked the priestess's hair and rocked the woman back and forth with all the comfort she could summon in her body. It wasn't long before Sage began to cry, albeit quietly.

At last, Sage said, "And now there's this... omen of a person indebted to me, and I don't know why. I didn't mean for anything of this to happen." Sage's tears came faster and heavily now, and Jaz continued squeezing the woman tight while stroking her hair. On a whim, Jaz kissed Sage's shoulder. Jaz wasn't sure she could say anything comforting to Sage--Jaz certainly didn't understand all this spiritual business--but she could provide touch and gentle rocking.

Sage eventually relaxed back into Jaz, quieting again.

After a while of what Jaz hoped was a companionable silence, she said, "You know, Elk doesn't seem all that bad." When Sage didn't seem to respond, Jaz added, "It seems like an honor that they've come to help you. And if there is something dire about to happen, then this is a moment to demonstrate how strong you are in your vows, is it not?"

Sage was quiet for a few moments and then laughed. "I never thought it would be you to tell me how to navigate my vows," she said, wiping her eyes.

Jaz shrugged behind Sage, enjoying the warmth of staying close to the other woman. "The world is full of surprises."

Something about their touch interaction was beginning to feel complete, so Jaz disengaged and returned to her cushion and her plate.

They ate in silence for a few minutes as Jaz continued to consider Sage's proposal.

At last, Jaz said, "I'll admit, it would have been a tough sell before today. The vows, I mean." She paused, relishing in Sage's suddenly renewed interest. "But now that I have felt the magic for myself..." Jaz trailed off, uncertain where exactly she was going with this. "Can we do something of a trial period? You start teaching me about the sky mind, and I feel out what it's like to be part of the order? And then maybe, in a fortnight or something, I can make a decision."

Jaz watched Sage's face attentively as she spoke, noting the ways Sage's face remained stubbornly neutral. Still, the corners of her mouth twitched as though wanting to frown.

Sage looked down at her plate. "Of course," Sage said, although Jaz sensed hesitation. "It's only natural that you would want some time to think about it. I will do my best to release attachment to whatever you ultimately decide."

Jaz took Sage's hand, trying to impart a reprise of the warmth they had shared earlier. "I will not take your instruction lightly." It was as much a vow as anything Jaz had yet said. But then she smiled, letting go of Sage's hand. "But I don't know about all the praying." Sage chuckled good-naturedly, and the two of them finished their meal, leaving little left on their plates.

((OOC: Sage is going to sleep after this, but Jaz will likely come back down to rejoin the conversation after some more time has passed. We can keep going, and I'll add her back in when it makes sense.))