Written Wonderland

The dizziness in Trevor's mind did not dissipate much as he walked behind the goddess and Chris. With her hand on his shoulder, she looked for all the world, at least from the back, like she might be perfectly content with just that one volunteer. Trevor did not have enough awareness to be jealous. He simply followed behind them, stumbling lightly here and there and hoping that Evan and Nathan weren't following close enough behind him to notice.

Gavin met the goddess in front of the entrance to the new palace, but Trevor's mind was not yet fully processing language. As he waited for their interaction to complete, he stared uncomprehendingly at the blue winged fox creature clinging to Gavin's neck and shoulders, wondering for a crazed moment if he might be the only one who could see it. No one else seemed fazed by it as far as Trevor could tell. Deciding not to linger on it either, he instead turned his attention to the palace itself, now made of trees instead of stone slabs as it had been when he was last here. Or, maybe, had it always been trees, but in Trevor's enthralled state, it had seemed like cold, hard stone? Maybe he would ask the goddess if he ever had the opportunity.

Still, the swirling trunks of the palace were undeniably beautiful, their glossy black and purple sheen almost looking fluid under the light of the dawning sun. Was it dawn already? Did time even function the same way here? Trevor shook his head, too confused to contemplate any of it much further. He wasn't tired yet, and his body ached for actual use, not simply the slumped-over stupor he hadn't managed to crawl back up out of. Would it be possible to experience such a thing with the goddess again himself now with so many others around? He had to try.

Gavin bowed, and the goddess continued into the palace, prompting Trevor's own movement. It was sometimes hard to believe he wasn't a thrall again here, unable to do much of anything without the goddess' explicit instructions. It was surreal to be under his own power, like holding the reins for a pack animal he somehow did not recognize, and he had to concentrate to get his legs to move at all.

Trevor did manage to pay careful attention to the goddess, and really, it was difficult not to. His field of vision seemed to shrink around her until she was the only thing he could see with any clarity. His mouth salivated as he watched her take stock of her own palace, the colorful grass tapestries above them; staircases with their dripping, steaming pools; the side rooms where anything could be happening--several of the others had gone to explore the palace after all.

He wanted to run to her, especially now that Chris had broken away from her and she was as alone as she might ever be. Trevor took a step her direction, arm outstretched as though he might touch the back of her shoulder.

"Dearest goddess," a voice said from one of the doorways, snapping Trevor's attention that direction as he let his hand fall to his side. "Forgive my curiosity, but I can't help but wonder..." It was Novelty's voice, and he was walking toward her now with a saunter that was at once seductive and sardonic, his hips swaying slightly as they accentuated his words.

"Why? Why send so many of our fellow soldiers into delirious stupors, their mouths spewing terrifying nonsense and muttering your epithets? Why all the stories of you taking what you want without a care for the lives of the people at stake? Why do you want us in the first place, and what gives you the right?"

Before Trevor quite knew what was happening, a burst of anger launched up from his stomach, choking his throat as though he were about to vomit. He took another step forward, his face contorted in anger, brows deeply furrowed, corners of his mouth angled sharply downward. His hands curled into fists, and he might have punched the nearest person if that weren't the goddess herself.

Novelty had no idea what he was talking about. When his soul was joined to the goddess' command, his life had purpose, meaning. Who cared if his body was frothing at the mouth back in the hells they had come from? She had saved him, from everything. He had never once experienced as much joy and pleasure as he had in her divine company, even when she was ignoring him completely.

He might have given Novelty a piece of his mind except the goddess was slowly rotating about the center of the palace, her eyes meeting each of the volunteers' as she did so. When she looked at Trevor, he tried to hold her there, and his face slackened almost entirely, his lips parting and his body swaying toward her as his eyes fluttered. But, he was determined to hold her gaze for as long as it was there. Too soon, she moved onto someone else, and Trevor was left with the dizziness again, the painful reminder that she wasn't touching him.

What the fuck were they all here for if it wasn't for that? Trevor knew that was what the goddess needed and wanted. Why were the faffing about with questions of Why?

"No one is keeping you here," the goddess said once she had completed her circle, "I will honor my agreement even if you leave. That goes for any of you newly arrived. As for the past, I intend to take full responsibility for my actions where I can." Trevor blinked, his mind sluggish as he processed her words. Why would anyone leave? Hadn't they all gone through the same ceremony he just had? They had been offerings together. Did they not understand what that meant?

"I want you because this realm--and my own being--will fade and falter to nothing without offerings, and you," she said, looking at Lance for a moment, "help me bring the light." Exactly, Trevor thought, grateful that the goddess could articulate his own jumbled thoughts without his help. The goddess, turned slightly toward Trevor as she was, looked at her hands as a spark of purple fire jumped from one to the next, looking almost playful, like a child darting through adults and trees to get to some imaginary destination. In contrast, the goddess' face was grave, so far from the rapture he had felt from her in waves back in the meadow, and Trevor's heart ached. He longed again to touch her, to throw himself at her feet. He would do anything for her--that was why he was here.

That thought sparked a fresh wave of anger at Novelty, but the goddess continued to speak, distracting him.

"As for who gives me the right, they won't speak to me anymore and haven't for a long, long time. I got in the way of a blow meant for the human realm, and I don't remember much before that. And if I've felt resentful or doubted that action..." the goddess' mouth and brows became more angular as her anger sharpened her words, "...then I pray that you'll forgive me for that. Now, are you going to continue to insult my hospitality, or are you prepared to stay and continue to indulge your 'opportunity to experience this realm'."

Trevor stomach dropped and curdled at the sound of the goddess' voice. The last thing he wanted to incur was her disappointment, and Trevor had a momentary fear that Novelty's sentiments were going to reflect poorly on all of them. But, Trevor took solace in the fact that the goddess knew him already to some degree. She knew he was loyal and devoted to her, and surely one errant comment from another newly arrived soldier wasn't going to change that.

Somehow, Novelty found the audacity to speak, and Trevor shook his head in utter disbelief.

"Forgive me, goddess. I couldn't fully enjoy this place until I understood. For whatever it means to you, I for one am grateful you stepped in the way, though I feel your sorrow for whatever that cost you. I hope you do find ways to make amends. I imagine your help for our cause will go a long way toward that end, and...whatever I--and perhaps we--can do to help you work through the reasons why the hurt has been passed onto others, that's... why I'm here."

The dizziness was returning at the edges of Trevor's vision, but his stomach loosened slightly, and his hands relaxed. He didn't fully understand the breadth of Novelty's words, but his body clearly understood the gist of them. It was enough of an apology for now at least.

But then he continued, "If you'll pardon me one more question, goddess... how long ago did you protect our realm?" Bile rose again into Trevor's mouth, and he took a step in Novelty's direction, though the man's back was facing Trevor. Why belabor this point? Why did it even matter?

"Several human lifetimes ago," the goddess said. "The upper gods left, the dragons left, and I was left here to pick up the fragmented pieces of myself, one by one by one. Now," the goddess said, turning to address the lot of them, "any more burning questions, or will you let me bathe in peace?"

Trevor held his breath for several heavy moments before he allowed himself to exhale, and much of the tension in his body melted in the realization that nobody was prepared to push her any further. The goddess seemed to realized it, too. She took a deep breath and said, "Seek rest for yourselves where you can find it. There will be other opportunities for questions and answers."

The goddess then started up the righthand staircase but turned around. Trevor thought for a fleeting moment that she might stop to look at him, but she kept going, her attention on Evan, who had, at some point, walked up to join them all with Nathan close behind him. Trevor might have felt jealous and felt a half-hearted surge that direction, but it was obvious in the burn of her eyes how much the goddess wanted Evan--Trevor knew what her eyes looked like when she was making a demand, and this was a strong one.

She didn't stay there long, however, turning to walk up the stairs and settle into the highest pool on that side. Trevor ached to follow her, but Evan was already moving that direction, and Trevor didn't know what to do with himself. He wasn't sure he wanted to be a melted puddle of nothing next to Evan again. His fists hardened and relaxed, hardened and relaxed, still aching to punch something.

From behind and beside Trevor, Nathan took a step toward the goddess, and Trevor instinctively held out his arm to block Nathan's way, still feeling protective. But, when Trevor turned and fully realized who had taken the step, he softened and relaxed his arm. Nathan did know what it felt like to be fully in the goddess' control. Surely he also wanted exactly what was best for her as well?

Trevor looked hard at Nathan and swallowed, the pulsing sensation in the loincloth around his hips suddenly very distracting. Tentatively, he took a step toward Nathan, and though his eyes widened at Trevor's approach, Nathan did not move out of the way. Even after two steps, Trevor's breathing was heavy, the mounting pressure of the longing in his body coming back to the fore now that the tension in the room had largely dispersed.

Without thinking, the gears in his brain failing to turn on their own anyway, Trevor gently grasped the back of Nathan's head with one hand, tracing his thumb over Nathan's jawbone. Glimpses of memories of tangling with Nathan as well as the goddess flashed into Trevor's mind--she had put them to purpose together. Surely Nathan also remembered. If they didn't have access to her now, maybe they could still make do with each other. Maybe they could even still worship her together.

Reaching down with his mouth, Trevor bit Nathan's neck where it met his shoulder, not quite enough to hurt, though Nathan cried out a little anyway. Trevor hardly registered it--the haziness in his mind and the demands of his body had full hold of him, even if the goddess did not. Trevor then reached around the back of Nathan's knees and picked Nathan up, Trevor's jaw naturally releasing in the process. He kept squeezing the back of Nathan's neck, though, as he walked them both steadily forward into the nearest side room.

As Trevor carried him, Nathan was pliant to the touch, even reaching up to wrap his arms around Trevor's neck as he nuzzled in. That Nathan's trust--or maybe, gods above--Nathan's own desire--would allow this nearly brought tears to Trevor's eyes. Trevor hardly realized he was walking anywhere in particular before they entered one of the bedrooms within the fused tree trunks. He set Nathan down on the bed, expecting the shorter man to let go, but he didn't. Trevor's body shivered in response, and he hesitated only briefly before joining Nathan on the bed.

Trevor lay on his back, and Nathan nestled into the crook of Trevor's arm, though he didn't stop moving. Nathan's limbs gently slid over and tangled with Trevor's, but Trevor found himself feeling paralyzed under the weight of his own agency. His ability to make decisions felt like an ill-fitting garment--stretched after repeated washing. It hardly felt like his anymore, especially in the goddess' realm and in a context like this one.

He stared at the entwined branches above him, unsure but finding his fingers running through Nathan's hair as Trevor kissed the top of the young man's head. After a few more moments, Nathan slowed his gentle writhing and looked up at Trevor.

"Everything okay?" Nathan asked.

Trevor looked away, uncertain how to respond or even if he could string words together in a sensical order.

Finally, he said, "There's just so much I want, and I don't know..." He trailed off, reaching the end of his train of thought. Nathan raised his eyebrow, and his face reddened as his fingers curled up on Trevor's chest.

"What's... one thing you want?"

Trevor looked from one of the boy's eyes to the other, contemplating. Slowly, Trevor took Nathan's wrist into his grip and brought Nathan's fingers up closer. Trevor held Nathan's gaze, staying attentive to any indication that Nathan wanted him to stop but not seeing any. Cautiously, he kissed the boy's fingertips--once, twice--and the third time, Trevor pulled two of Nathan's fingers softly into his mouth with a deep moan, his hips thrusting up toward the ceiling as he sucked on them. Nathan gasped and moaned as well, his other hand grasping at his chest and his legs tightening around Trevor's with a little whimper.

Continuing to suck, Trevor pulled Nathan's fingers deeper into his throat until his lips covered Nathan's knuckles. Nathan's fingers gently stroked the texture of Trevor's tongue, gagging Trevor slightly and causing him to pull Nathan's hand back slightly. He hardly missed a beat as he pulled Nathan's fingers back in, sucking hungrily, his vision darkening at the edges as his mind blurred.

Eventually, Nathan gently pulled his hand away, and Trevor released it easily. They were both breathing heavily, and Trevor itched to roll over on top of the boy.

After a moment, Nathan offered, "I mean, Evan was... he..." but Nathan also trailed off, unable to complete the sentence. Trevor's sluggish mind pulled together the pieces of memory from when they were in the meadow, recalling getting to his knees and nearly taking Evan's length into his mouth, except...

Ah. Evan's cock had been in someone.

"Nathan," Trevor said in a breathy groan.

It would be altogether too easy to slide the scraps of fabric gently suckling with a thousand tiny mouths, allowing Trevor to enter Nathan and delight in exactly what Evan had just indulged in.

Why did this suddenly feel like a threesome with a ghost?

Trevor shook his head, realizing he was panting his breath. Without thinking, Trevor pushed himself onto his elbow and then got above Nathan on all fours. Not wanting to get too far into his head, he started kissing Nathan's neck, one leg between Nathan's legs. When Trevor's thigh met Nathan's warm groin, Trevor moaned, and maybe he imagined it, but he thought he heard a cascade of moans in response from the larger room. His mind only grew more heavy, blurry, unfocused. His hunger and lust dazed his senses, and his breath came even faster, thicker.

Nathan whimpered beneath Trevor, and Trevor leaned down to take a tiny sliver of flesh from Nathan's neck into his mouth, sucking gently.

There was no one here to tell them fraternizing was discouraged. There was no one who would see marks on Nathan's neck and make comments--Hell, they might all come away with marks after tonight. Nathan could wear a bruise as a badge of honor.

Nathan had coaxed Evan away from Dehaljadrun after all, at least for a little while.

Meanwhile, Trevor hadn't been more than a sack of potatoes.

Still, Trevor's chest swelled thinking about how curled he had been around the goddess' leg. He wouldn't trade that moment for the world.

Sucking on Nathan's neck, Trevor positioned his body weight so his own groin pushed up against Nathan's, swinging his leg to straddle both of Nathan's. Trever groaned again, and this time he was almost positive that a chorus of moans followed. Or maybe that was just his own echo? But, the tree trunks seemed to absorb sound, not create an echo.

"If you slide the fabric between us aside, I will take that as permission to enter you," Trevor said, the words lightly slurred in his mouth. "And otherwise, we can stay as we are." Blinking at Nathan as though surprising himself that he was able to pull away from Nathan's neck, Trevor ran back over his own words and moaned again, sitting back momentarily on his heels. His erection was almost painful, leaping through the thin layer of fog-turned-fabric.

Nathan blushed, unable to look Trevor in the eye but also not able to turn away. Trevor thought Nathan might be tracing the lines of Trevor's body with his eyes, and Trevor liked the idea. Subtly, he flexed one of his biceps and the opposite side of his pectoral muscles--more reflex than demonstration. Nathan's eyebrows raised, and Trevor watched with saliva pooling inside his mouth as Nathan's fingers danced slowly down toward the fabric around his hips.

Trevor watched Nathan reach for the fabric in a daze of disbelief. He had asked for permission and was getting it, right before his eyes. Nathan was slow about it as he bit the tips of his fingers of the other hand. Their shared breath was warm and moist between them, the sensations from the meadow--a throbbing pleasure and absorption--echoing in Trevor's body.

Nathan would already be wide open by the time Trevor arrived. Rather than a sense of jealousy, a craving to share leaped up into Trevor's low belly and stomach. He approached with a gentle caution, though his body screamed for everything and now, Trevor brought Nathan's still-wet fingertips to his cock, gently guiding the boy's hand to moisten everything. The moan in his belly started low and subtle, building as he stopped caring where he was or if anyone could hear him. They had all opted into this one way or another.

Bringing Nathan's fingers back to his mouth, Trevor aligned himself with Nathan's backside, lifting Nathan's legs to get a better angle.

Nathan's breath picked up, and his fingers gently beckoned Trevor closer, sliding across the pointed surfaces of Trevor's teeth and tongue as Trevor sucked.

Nathan's fingers muffled his next moan, sending vibrations and shivers all through Nathan. Trevor applied more pressure with his cock, sliding past the flared tip of his head into the pre-widened hole.

The young volunteer beneath him was a fellow soldier, the poet in the meadow whose words echoed with Captain Nicolaides' voice, also a gift to the goddess Trevor undeniably served.

May I do this in her honor. It is a pleasure to serve, he thought, sinking all the way into the body beneath him. Nathan whimpered, trembling and clutching at Trevor's arms, Trevor's hips, attempting to pull him closer. Several names fell past his lips, Nathan. Evan. Dehaljadrun.

Several of the others must have turned to each other this way as well, right?

And Lance--Delight--was with the goddess.

There was a throbbing in Trevor's head as the goddess reached her attention toward him, tasting what he was offering her. He moved faster inside Nathan in response, crying out more than once, louder each time. Nathan nearly matched him, cry for cry, though they were getting progressively higher pitched. Nathan was crying but grinning at the same time, clutching at everything he could touch.

"Please don't stop!" Nathan yelled breathlessly. Trevor didn't. He was a blur of pleasure, red haze and surrender. Behind his eyes, the path to oblivion and the river opened before him, but he blinked it away, pressing himself into Nathan to chase something else first.